Forty Things to Do Before You're Forty (16 page)

She flicked off the TV. There was no point torturing herself. She might as well go to bed. She marched through to the kitchen to give Pip his last biscuit of the day and lock the door. But to her surprise she found Pip's basket empty. He must be in the garden. She headed straight outside where it didn't take long for her to discover that he wasn't there either. Puzzled, she called his name a couple of times. Nothing. How strange. He'd never gone missing before. Anxiety pricked at her as she recalled a recent article she'd read somewhere about people stealing dogs to order. But who on earth would do that in Buttersley? And who on earth would order a scruffy little specimen like Pip? No, he must have gone walkabout. Perhaps down to the village. But if he'd strayed that far, she had no doubt someone would have spotted him and called her to let her know he was safe. Most likely he was mooching about the manor grounds ascertaining if this latest batch of visitors had brought any food. Well, there was no chance of her getting to sleep while he was missing, so she might as well have a quick scout around to see if she could find him.

Jake had no idea how long he stood against the wall. It would have been much longer had a fly not landed on his nose and momentarily ended his reverie. The reprieve though lasted only as long as it took for him stagger around the back of the house and flop down on a wooden bench. As the depressing images continued to tumble around his head he became more and more nauseous. There was no way he could stay at the manor now. No way he could bear to be in the same building as those white pills, or – more specifically – the people popping them. He'd give the pub in the village a ring. See if they had a free room. And if they didn't, he'd sleep in his car. There were a couple of sleeping bags in the back for emergencies. And this was definitely an emergency.

Conscious all the while that she'd left Sophie alone in the house, Annie darted around the manor grounds at impressive speed. Still there was no sign of Pip. Having covered the forecourt and the drive, she flew round to the back. And came to an abrupt halt. Her heart jammed in her throat and her knees almost buckled. Because there, on a bench about ten feet away, was Jake. Despite the relatively short distance, it was clear he hadn't seen her. He looked a million miles away again, like he was in some kind of hypnotic trance. Of all the images of him that had streamed through her head over the last few hours, this scene certainly hadn't featured. But what was he doing out here all alone? Had he had a row with Tanya? Or – she felt a stab of conscience – perhaps she'd transmitted some of her bad thoughts to Tanya. Perhaps the girl had choked on a cookie, after all. But no. If anything that dramatic had happened, Annie would have heard the ambulance. Anyway, whatever it was, it had nothing to do with her. All she wanted to do was find Pip, return to the cottage, lock the door, and retreat under her duvet – for a month or so – or at least until the manor was empty again and things could return to normal. First on that list, though, was Mr Pip. Pushing aside all previous misunderstandings, disappointments, quibbles and memories of intimate moments, she drew in a reassuring breath, stuck out her chin and marched assertively over to Jake.

‘I don't suppose you've seen Pip, have you?' she asked briskly.

The surprise on Jake's face left her in no doubt that he had indeed been a million miles away. ‘A-Annie,' he stammered. ‘You-you startled me.'

About to repeat her question, Annie bit back a gasp as Jake tilted up his head to her. He looked dreadful – or as dreadful as someone that devastatingly handsome could look. His normally golden skin was chalk-white and clammy, and there were dark smudges beneath his eyes. But it was the look
in
his eyes that affected her most: a look of unadulterated sadness and pain. A look that, despite all her earlier anger, made her want to wrap her arms around him and comfort him. A look that she very much doubted had been caused by something as trivial as a row with a girlfriend. With those same sad eyes upon her, she suddenly felt very self-conscious. She cleared her throat and managed a shaky, fleeting smile. ‘I, um wondered if you'd seen Pip,' she said, softening her tone considerably. ‘I can't find him anywhere.'

His gaze still locked on hers, it seemed to take a few seconds for Jake to digest the information. ‘Sorry,' he said at length. ‘I haven't seen him.'

‘Not to worry.' Annie waved a dismissive hand. She had no idea what Jake's problem was, but it seemed a lot more serious than a dog that had been missing for an hour or so. ‘I'm sure he'll turn up soon.'

He nodded. ‘I'm sure he will.'

Annie gave another shaky smile, turned on her heel and with her legs wobbling slightly, was about to resume her search, when Jake piped up.

‘God, sorry, Annie. What am I thinking? Let me help you look for him.'

She spun around to find him hauling himself to his feet. Excitement was swiftly elbowed aside by guilt.

‘There's no need. Honestly. You look like you've … a lot on your mind. Why don't you go back to the party?'

Now upright, Jake gave a derisive snort. ‘Me? Go back to the party? I don't think so.'

Detecting the bitterness in his tone, Annie's eyes widened. ‘I know it's none of my business, but are you all right?'

She watched a cloud of anger settle over his gorgeous face. ‘No,' he said, his eyes darkening. ‘I'm not.'

Annie gulped. Right. That had cleared that up then. Goodness. He looked positively murderous. She only hoped that whoever had upset him had their plans well under way to leave the country. She chewed her bottom lip, regarding him all the while as he stared morosely at a spot on the ground.

‘Look, I have to get back to the cottage. But if you'd like a cup of tea or something…' The words were out of her mouth before she'd properly engaged her brain. Not a good move. She should definitely have wheedled some inkling of the problem from him first. If it was a row with Tanya, she could well be listening to their relationship problems for hours – a prospect that filled her with as much joy as wading through two miles of mud with bricks in her wellies. Somehow though, she suspected a man like Jake Sinclair would not waste time crying into his tea over a woman. This was something much more profound, and much more serious. Meaning Annie was probably way out of her depth.

At Annie's invitation, Jake's raging fury skidded to a halt. Noting the concern on her beautiful face, his heart skipped a beat and his anger subsided – an impressive U-turn given that, only a few minutes before, he'd wanted to march into the manor and floor every one of its residents. Now, with his eyes glued to Annie's, he could think of nothing better than sitting at her kitchen table, pouring out his heart. But he couldn't. It wouldn't be fair. He'd imposed on her enough already, and, for all he felt as though he'd known her forever, he actually hadn't. Certainly not long enough for him to dump all his emotional clutter at her door. He opened his mouth to politely decline the invitation at exactly the same moment her lips curved into an encouraging smile. A strange sensation tugged at his chest as the memory of that intimate moment they had shared in the shop that morning slammed into his memory.

‘Are you sure?' he heard himself saying. ‘I won't be very good company.'

Her smile widened, causing something in the pit of his stomach to flutter.

‘That doesn't matter,' she said softly. ‘You look like you need someone to talk to.'

He raised his eyebrows. ‘Are you really sure you want to be that someone?'

‘I am.'

Neither of them said a word as they made their way across the lawn to the cottage. Neither of them said a word as they entered the cottage. Nor was a word uttered while Annie made the tea and Jake manoeuvred himself into a chair at the table. It was only when the steaming teapot was placed on the table and Annie sat down opposite him that Jake said,

‘This is really very good of you.'

‘Isn't it?' She grinned as she reached for the teapot.

Jake couldn't resist a smile. ‘I hope Pip turns up soon. My lap's feeling a bit redundant.'

Annie tipped the tea into his mug. ‘I'm sure he will. I'm just being over-anxious because he's never gone off before.'

‘Well, if he's any sense, he won't be away long. I wouldn't if I lived here.'

God, had he really said that? Judging by the strange look Annie slanted him as she slid the mug of tea across the table, he clearly had. Well, if such personal confessions were tripping off his tongue so blithely, he'd better get a grip. Otherwise he might end up telling her way more than he intended. And that really would be taking things too far.

‘So,' said Annie, now filling her own cup. ‘What does Tanya think of Buttersley?'

Mid-stretch for the milk jug, Jake stared at her nonplussed for a few seconds trying to recall who Tanya was. Oh, of course.
That
Tanya. ‘I have no idea,' he admitted, picking up the jug and adding a splash of milk to his tea. ‘I've hardly spoken to her. She's all over Jasper like a rash.'

Annie's eyes widened. ‘Goodness. No wonder you're upset.'

Jake shook his head as he set down the milk jug, picked up a teaspoon and stirred his drink. ‘God, no. I didn't mean – I mean Tanya and I aren't romantically involved or anything. She's a business acquaintance, that's all.'

Annie's brow furrowed. ‘But the way she spoke to you. It was …'

‘Suggestive?'

Annie nodded.

‘Which would normally have had me running a mile,' Jake explained. ‘Unfortunately, at the moment, I can't run anywhere.'

‘She's very attractive,' said Annie.

‘I suppose she is. If you go for the obvious type. Thankfully I don't. And I'm not sure where you've got this idea from that I'm some kind of Casanova, Ms Richards. Because, I can assure, I am not.' His tone shifted to serious. ‘There hasn't been a woman in my life for the last five years.'

Annie's head jerked up to him. ‘Five years?'

‘Ages, I know.' Jake raised his cup to his lips and sipped his tea. Now that he'd started, he found himself wanting to tell her more. ‘There's been nobody since Nina, my last partner …. Since she died.'

Annie's hand flew to her chest. ‘She died? My god. How?'

‘Car crash. Killed outright at the scene. The other driver didn't have a cut on him. He was seventeen years old and high as a kite on Ecstasy. The drug Jasper and his crowd are popping right now.' He set down his cup with such vehemence that a splash of tea sloshed over the edge.

‘Well,' puffed Annie, evidently horrified. ‘That certainly explains why you're so angry.'

Jake looked directly into her eyes. ‘There's more. Nina was four months pregnant. We'd just found out it was a girl.'

Annie's jaw dropped. She gawped at him for several seconds before stammering, ‘I-I don't know what to say. I can't imagine how you would ever get over something like that. The shock must have been horrific.'

‘And some,' confirmed Jake, cradling the mug again. ‘I don't think I'll ever get over it. When I saw those pills today, it was all I could do not to punch bloody Rupert. The whole lot of them, in fact.'

She nodded. ‘Understandable. I'm sure I'd have felt exactly the same. How long had you been together, you and Nina?'

‘Four years. I was planning on asking her to marry me – even before we found out about the baby. That was the icing on the cake really. Or it would have been …' He bit his tongue. A red light flashed in his head, warning him he was dangerously close to saying too much, to telling her everything. And where the conversation would then go, he couldn't begin to imagine.

For a few seconds neither of them said anything.

‘How did you cope? Afterwards?'

Jake set down his mug, leaned back in his chair and raked his hand through his hair. ‘I don't know that I did really. I made some pretty rash decisions but I haven't regretted any of them. I packed in my job. Moved to Loch Tay –'

Annie's eyebrows shot to her hairline. ‘Loch Tay? But I imagined you living in a cool apartment in some trendy part of London.'

Jake shook his head. ‘Used to. Not any more. Don't think I could stand even a weekend in the Big City now.'

‘But how do you …? I mean, if you don't live in London how do you manage to keep up with Jasper and the gang?'

‘I don't,' he confessed, fiddling with his teaspoon. ‘I hadn't seen Jasper for years before Nina died. We were in the same college at Oxford and I used to bump into him around London after we graduated. But I was never a fully-fledged gang member. I was far too busy working – which obviously meant we had very little in common.' He raised his eyes to her. ‘Does that make me sound like a total freeloader for accepting the invitation to the manor?'

Annie didn't reply. An unfathomable expression hung over her face which provided him with no clue as to whether she was gripped with interest or bored to distraction. Most likely the latter.

‘Sorry if I'm boring you,' he said. ‘It's not exactly laugh-a-minute stuff, is it?'

He was relieved to see her lips stretch into a warm smile. ‘It's real life. And no. I don't think you're a freeloader at all. Although, I must admit, I sometimes feel like one.'

‘You? Whatever for?'

Annie lifted her shoulders in a shrug. ‘I live rent-free in this lovely cottage. Some might call that taking advantage.'

‘I don't know who. You look after the place don't you? Beat up any would-be burglars? In fact, having experienced your security measures first hand, I think the P.S.'s should pay you danger money.'

Annie giggled. ‘Nice idea. Fortunately there aren't many burglars around here.'

‘Precisely why. No would-be thief dare come within a mile of the place knowing you're on guard. Seriously, I bet it's a weight off the P.S.'s minds having someone as reliable and conscientious as you on the doorstep.'