Four Week Fiance 2 (22 page)

"Oh, TJ." I pulled him into my arms and held him tightly. "You were the best thing that ever happened to her, but your dad and whatever other demons she had, well, that stopped her from being the person she was inside."

"Sometimes I wish I could talk to her," he said. "I'd like to know what happened. I'd like to know if she stopped loving me."

"She'd never stop loving you, TJ." I kissed him hard. "No one could stop loving you," I whispered against his lips.
I could never stop loving you
, I thought to myself as I dismissed the other girl from my thoughts. My heart was aching for my TJ, the man who still held the hurt and fears from his childhood.

"I want to make love to you," he muttered against my lips. "I need to be inside of you."

I didn't answer; instead, I slowly took off his shirt and then pulled his pants and boxers down. I then stood up and slowly undressed and threw my clothes to the ground. I looked down at his moon-kissed face and my heart swelled with love at the look of desire that shone back at me.

"Come to me, baby." He reached his arms up and I took his hands and straddled him. I felt his hardness between my legs and I rocked back and forth and teased myself with his manhood. He leaned up and pulled me down slightly so that he could cover my right nipple with his mouth and suck, while his hand played with my other breast. I stretched my body down against him and kissed his neck, while my hands played with his chest and ran down his slightly hairy stomach. My fingers played with his bellybutton and I gasped as he started nibbling on my nipple. I adjusted my body and sat up slightly and reached down and guided him into me hesitantly. This was the first time I was really the guiding force during intercourse and I was loving the feeling of power. As he slid inside of me, I found myself closing my eyes and moving back and forth on him gently, enjoying every stroke of him inside of me, as the stars shone down on us. The moment felt primal and raw and like we were one with nature.

“I’m flying, TJ,” I cried out as I felt my orgasm building. My hair flew behind me and the wind cooled down my heated body.

“I’m flying as well, Mila.” He grabbed a hold of my hips and moved my body back and forward even faster. I gyrated on him as hard as I could and I could feel both of our bodies trembling as we neared our crashing point. We cried out together as we both came and my body fell down on top of him as I climaxed.

“I love you, TJ,” I said softly into his ear. “That will never change.”

“I know,” he whispered back. “That’s my dream and my hope.”

I
walked along the side of river by myself watching the sunrise. The previous evening had been touching and profound, but the sadness in my heart told me that things were never going to change. TJ was broken, even if he didn’t know it. And he might never be able to love me in the way that I’d wanted. I knew it in the way he’d pulled away from me when we’d broken up this morning. He’d looked embarrassed and sad, and even more than that, he’d looked vacant. That was what had broken me. I’d felt that after last night we were growing closer, but this morning it had seemed like we were further apart than ever before.

I walked over to the grass and sat down and then lay back and closed my eyes. I knew I couldn’t stay here long. TJ had to get back to work. His phone had been ringing since about 5am and I’d heard him muttering that he’d be in the office as soon as possible. I wanted to ask him what was going on at work, but didn’t what to seem like I was being nosey. Plus, that wasn’t the conversation that I really wanted to have. I wanted to talk about us, about him. About what we were really doing. I wanted to tell him I wanted out. I didn’t want to be his four week fiancee anymore. Sally had been right. It was only four weeks, but I knew it was going to hurt for a lot longer than that. I was fighting a losing battle. TJ was never going to be mine and the pain that I felt every time I was with him was almost as much as the love. It was becoming too much for me to handle. I didn’t want to feel this way any more. I didn’t want to feel like my whole day was made with his smile and my whole day was ruined with his frown.

I looked up as I heard footsteps approaching me. It was TJ. He was wearing a tshirt and jeans and a lopsided smile on his face, that looked nervous and anxious at the same time. It was weird to see him this way. I was so used to the man that always used to tease me and try and make fun of me. Seeing this vulnerable side of TJ made me see him as someone different, still wonderful and fun, but someone deeper and of more character. It was hard not to fall deeper in love with him, the more I saw of him; flaws and all. He walked towards me and sat next to me, not saying anything. I looked away from him and just stared at the sky and we just lay there in silence.

"I'll tell you a story." TJ said finally as he lay next to me in the grass.

"I don't want to hear a story." I didn't look at him as I shifted away from him. Why had he followed me here? Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Or just tell me that he needed to get back to the office and that we had to leave.

"There once was a girl. She loved a boy. With all her heart. All her soul. She loved him, even when she didn't know him. She loved him for everything he was. She loved him for everything he wasn't. She loved him for the way he smiled when she giggled. The way he frowned when he disapproved of something she was doing. The way he pursed his lips when he was cross. The way he held her hand when she was tipsy. She loved him for the way he always knew exactly how she felt. She loved him even when he didn't love her. She loved him with so much hope and wonder. And she waited. Patiently. She waited for the day when he would love her. In fairytales, soulmates always came together. And she knew he was her soulmate. She knew as sure as there were stars in the sky that he was hers." TJ's voice broke and my lips trembled at his words. My eyes started to fill with tears. I hated him. I hated him for coming him and talking and saying things that made my heart hurt even more.

"So then what happened?" I asked him, my voice barely a whisper.

"He wasn't good enough."

"You mean he didn't love her." I interjected, fed up of his bullshit.

"I mean, he wasn't good enough." TJ sighed. "Life isn't always a fairytale."

"No shit."

"There once was a boy." He said softly. "He loved a girl. With his whole being. With his whole heart and soul. He loved a girl to the point of distraction. He loved her to the point that he couldn't sleep. He loved her to the point that she was all he could think about. He loved her to the point where her smile kept him awake at night because it was so bright. He loved her to the point that it broke his heart that he made her sad. He loved her to the point of infinity, yet he couldn’t tell her."

"Okay, and?" I turned to him then. I couldn't not look at him anymore. I stared at his face, then his hair. I so badly wanted to reach over, touch his hair, touch his face, touch his lips.

"He didn't believe in magic. He didn't believe in the stars. He was afraid to fly." He rolled over and faced me. "He didn't believe..." His voice trailed off. "It's a long way to fall when you live in the clouds."

"Maybe you wouldn't fall." I blinked rapidly.

"There once was a boy." He stared directly into my eyes, a bleak expression burning into my soul. "He had a secret. He had a secret that he knew would break her heart. And he knew that the fall was inevitable."

"Maybe he should have trusted the girl." I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the racing of my heart. "Maybe he should have believed in the magic. Maybe he should have jumped out into the universe and screamed and shouted that he didn't care what happened. Maybe the boy shouldn't have been afraid to fly." I opened my eyes then. "We could have been in the air, barely breathing together. Risking it all." I gave him a small smile and jumped up. "Maybe he should have lived in the clouds with her."

"Mila." His voice broke as he jumped up as well. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I'm not afraid to fly, TJ. You are." I paused for a few seconds, wondering if this was finally going to be the end for both of us. "I love you." I said after a few seconds, my voice cracking as I decided to put it all out there.

"I want you." He said.

"I need you." I said.

"I miss you." He said.

"I can't live without you." I said.

"I can't breathe without you." He said.

"I'm falling." I said.

"I'll catch you." He said.

"I'm tired." I said.

"I'll hold you." He said.

"I'm crying." I said.

"I'll wipe away your tears." He said.

"Love me." I said.

"Idontknowhattosay." He said.

"Just love me." I said.

"It'snotthateasy." He said.

"It is ." I said.

"It isn’t." He said.

“My heart is made of glass and you have just cracked it.” I said melodramatically and hit him in the arm hard. “I hate you for making me feel this way. I hate you.” He just stared at me for about five minutes and then his expression changed and he started laughing. “Oh Mila, I’m a fool.” He said as he stopped laughing.

“Why are you a fool?”

“I never wanted to fall in love with you. I never wanted to feel this way.” He sighed. “I don’t even know why I’m admitting this now.”

“What are you admitting?” I asked hopefully, my breathe in my throat waiting patiently.

“I love you, Mila Brookstone. I don’t know how or why, or what’s going to happen, but I know as sure as there are tears in your eyes that I love you and I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I couldn’t bare to hurt you.”

“You really love me?” I said slowly, not believing what I was hearing.

“I think it’s been obvious.” He sighed. “I’ve just been scared to say the words. I’ve been scared to say it outloud because then that makes it real. And once it’s real, it means it’s in the universe. It’s out there. I belong to you and you belong to me and we’re in love. We’re soulmates and that scares the shit out of me.”

“It doesn’t have too.” I said softly and he just reached over and held my hands.

“After yesterday, talking to you about my mom, it made me realize so many things. It made me realize that a lot of my hurt and fear comes from my mom and dad’s relationship. It was mentally abusive to her, emotionally abusive and she didn’t know how to cope. I think she most probably suffered from depression as well.” He sighed. “And my dad did nothing to help. I hate him for the man that he is, but I also realized this morning when you left me in the bed, I didn’t want to be him. And I didn’t want to be the man hiding away from my feelings because I was scared. I love you, Mila. I love you like I’ve never loved anymore before in my life. We were destined to be together. I feel that in my soul. My very soul. Do you know that? Do you know how much you mean to me? How much you’ve always meant to me? It’s scary.” He said, his eyes blazing into mine.

“If I mean half of much as to you as you mean to me, then yes, I know.” I said smiling at him.

“Look, there’s something I need to tell you.” His face changed to one of anguish and my heart froze.

“What is it, TJ?”

“I don’t know how to tell you this.” He sighed and I could see that he was worried. “It might change everything and I understand that it does, but I can’t not tell you.”

“You’re scaring me, TJ. Please just tell me.”

“So, all the calls I’ve been getting and this whole engagement, well, it’s not what you think.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked confused.

“Our engagement, it wasn’t about me or impressing the board or any of that.” He took a deep breath. “It’s about your family company. It’s in trouble. Real trouble. Your parents will most probably be bankrupt in the next 3-6 months. Nonno knew, has known for a while that it’s not doing well. They haven’t listened it any of his advice, so he came to me.” He took a deep breath. “He wanted me to help him make sure that his company, his investment and legacy to you didn’t go down the drain.”

“What are you talking about, TJ? How could it go down the drain? How could you help?”

“You have 51% shares in the company. You can make all the decisions.”

“But that’s just in name.” I shook my head, still confused. “I haven’t done anything.”

“When we got engaged, you gave me power of attorney. I’m able to control the company.” He gazed into my eyes. “Today I’m going to sign a contract that allows my father to purchase your family company for ten million dollars. This is what Nonno wanted. This is what he wanted me to do. And he didn’t want anyone to know. He knows your parents wouldn’t do it. He knows that my dad might tear apart the company, but he doesn’t care. He wants to make sure you’re taken care of, Mila. He loves you with all his heart and well, he can’t live knowing that you might be left with nothing.”

“What? What are you talking about? You’re signing my family company away to your dad?” My jaw dropped. “You used me?”

“I didn’t want to do it. I haven’t even done it yet. It’s been killing me, Mila. I’ve been going back and forth on what to do. I feel like I’m betraying you every time I even think about the contract. I hate myself. I’m only doing it because I made a promise to Nonno. He begged me to help him with this. He said if I cared about you at all, I would do it because it was for your best interests.” He sighed. “I agreed before I fully understand what it would be like to have to deceive you.”

“Why the fake engagement?” I said, my heart pounding and my chest hurting as I tried to comprehend what he was telling me.

“Because it was the only way to get the power of attorney through a contract.” He sighed. “It was all Nonno’s idea.”

“He knew I loved you.” I sighed. “How could he do this to me? Didn’t he know it would just hurt me even more?”

“I think he could see that I loved you as well.” TJ gave me a half-smile. “Maybe he was trying to give me a push. See what we could have.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” I looked away from him, deeply hurt.

“And it worked, Mila. I did come to my senses. I love you more than life itself and I might not have realized that if not for this craziness.”