Fractured Innocence (#2 IFICS) (22 page)

Anytime she heard a loud noise, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Thankfully, they agreed to let her stay at the facility. She wondered how much longer before they would make her leave. She knew she couldn’t stay there forever. Kaitlyn said she had left one cage for another. That she needed to reintegrate into life. 

Who spoke like that? Aaliyah knew she was right, but she just didn’t care. She needed to feel safe. If she never left the hospital it would be fine by her. 

Noah shifted on his feet. In all their time together, she had never seen him so uncomfortable. “I had to see you. I’ve been going crazy with worry.”

He needed to leave. Just the sight of him was too much for her to bear. Too many memories of a life she could no longer live. Struggling desperately for control she spit out, “You’ve seen me. Now get out.”

“Don’t say that. You don’t mean it.”

“Yes, I do. We’re done, Noah. You can’t love me anymore. I’m broken, and I’ll never be whole again.” 

“Shh, I’ll always love you.” He took a few more steps until he was so close, she could smell him. He reached down to touch a strand of her hair. 

She jerked away. “Don’t touch me.” 

His hand dropped to his side. “I’m sorry. I just miss you so much.” His voice cracked. 

“I want you to leave.” She pushed herself further into the chair as if she could put enough distance between them. She could feel her mind shutting down. Dr. Chambers told her when that happened, to imagine something in her life that was real and meant something to her. A person, a place, anything to keep her from fading. Right now, more than anything, she wanted to hide away. She didn’t want Noah to see how vulnerable she’d become. She thought of the wild flowers that sat on her desk the day she was abducted. Noah had sent them to her to remind her that spring would soon return. They were so beautiful. 

Noah cleared his throat. 

He ran his hand through his hair and looked around the room as if searching for something to help him. “If you’re broken, let me help you put the pieces back together.”

“You don’t get it. You can’t put back together shards of glass.” Her eyes misted. 

“Please, don’t push me out of your life. I can help you. I want to help you. I don’t know everything you went through, but I know enough to know you are not ready to go back to the way things were between us. You may never be ready. I get that. I really do. But I can’t walk away from you. I need you, Aaliyah. I didn’t know what it meant to be happy until you walked into my life. If all we can ever have is friendship, I will settle for that, but please don’t completely kick me out.”

Aaliyah looked up at the boy who at one time was her world. He was so pure and good. When she looked at him she saw everything she used to be and would never be again. Her heart constricted.  Despite her confused emotions she pointed at the door. “I’m sorry. You need to leave.” 

Noah’s eyes filled with tears. “I can’t.” 

“Go! Just get out of here,” Aaliyah yelled. Her chest felt hollow.

The door opened, and one of the nurses hurried in. “Your time is up.”

Noah looked back at her one more time as he stopped at the doorway. “I’ll be back.”  

Aaliyah walked over, dropped onto her bed and cried until she had no more tears. Dasvoik had taken everything from her, including the boy she loved more than life itself. It wasn’t fair! Life wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t she get past this? She was alive. She was home. But she knew she would never feel happiness again. How could she be happy when her brother was gone? How could she be happy when her soul was black? Why had God failed her? Maybe what she should be asking was why had she failed God?

A slight knock on the door startled Aaliyah. No one ever knocked in this place. They just barged in. She really hoped it wasn’t Noah again. She didn’t have the strength to kick him out, again. 

The door opened slowly and in walked a girl about Aaliyah’s age with a head full of copper curls and a genuine smile. She was carrying a large black cat with a white spot on one of its eyes. The girl had an ethereal look about her as she glided into the room. Aaliyah rubbed her eyes, opening and closing them to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. The girl stood there smiling angelically. Maybe it was a hallucination. 

“I’m Quess,” she said. “I would have come sooner, but they wouldn’t allow me to visit you.” 

“Quess?” Well, that didn’t sound like the name of an angel. “What kind of name is that?”

The girl shrugged. “My parents are weird. My mother’s maiden name was DeMarquess. So they shortened it.” 

Aaliyah curled her legs under her and leaned against the headboard. She wasn’t sure what to make of the visitor. “Who are you? I mean why are you in my room?”

Quess set the cat on the bed and it studied Aaliyah for a moment before crossing the bed. The cat rubbed against her purring. “I live on the grounds with my grandparents, while my parents travel the world searching for geological treasures. Domino seems to like you.” 

Looking baffled, Aaliyah reached out and pet the cat that snuggled even closer to her. She’d never had a pet before. 

“It gets pretty boring here with all the grown-ups, so when I heard there was someone closer to my age, I thought maybe we could be friends.” 

Friends? Aaliyah wasn’t sure she was capable of such a thing any longer. She inhaled sharply. “I don’t think so.” 

Quess dropped into the seat and kicked her shoes off before placing them on the edge of the bed. “I’m afraid you’re going to be stuck with me. I’ve been told I’m sorta a pain, but I’ll try not to be too annoying.” 

Aaliyah was surprised to feel a smile tug at her lips. The first smile since she was taken from the street. The smile quickly turned into a frown. 

Quess crossed her feet at the ankles. “Who was that boy I saw coming down the hall? He looked upset.” 

Aaliyah eyed her uncertainly, and answered as calmly as she could. “Noah. He used to be my boyfriend.” 

“He’s a hottie.”

Aaliyah felt her body begin to relax as she continued to run her hands through the cat’s fur. “Yes, he is.” It felt odd. The girl had a calming affect over her, making her feel almost normal. Or maybe it was the cat. 

“Have you met Kaitlyn?” Quess asked, raising a copper eyebrow. 

“Yes, she comes to see me sometimes.” 

“Domino is her cat.”

“Really? I can’t picture her with a pet for some reason.”

A musical laugh escaped the girl’s lips. “Kaitlyn will grow on you. She’s a bit different. I’m sure you’ve noticed.” 

Aaliyah hadn’t given it much thought. She did seem stiff around her, but she figured it was because she was afraid of saying the wrong thing. Everyone walked on eggshells around her. “I haven’t really noticed.”

“Interesting,” Quess mumbled. “Anyways, I’m sure you’re sick of being cooped up in this little room. Do you want to come over to my place? We could watch movies and eat popcorn.”

Her body went still, and she glanced out the window. A part of her wanted to go with the girl. But a larger part was terrified to step outside. The doctor had been trying to get her to take a walk with her for a while, but she just wasn’t ready. “I-I can’t.”

Quess shrugged as if it were no big deal. “Well then, we’ll stay in here. Maybe there’s something good on television.” She reached across the bed and grabbed the remote control, clicking on the TV. 

Aaliyah watched the girl, puzzled. She envied her and would give anything to feel normal again. To go back to the day she was abducted and take Noah up on his offer to pick up Darrius instead of walking alone at night. Looking at the girl made her feel vulnerable. 

She knew she would always live in fear from now on. Pathetic. She couldn’t even take a walk outside. How was she ever going to get on with her life? Kaitlyn said she was stronger than she thought, but she felt very weak. 

Her emotions in turmoil, she dug her fingernails into her thighs, forcing herself to concentrate on what the girl was rambling about. This was her first chance at normalcy. She didn’t want to mess it up. 

CHAPTER 23

 The woman entered the room so quietly the next morning, that Aaliyah didn’t even notice her, until she looked up to see her standing beside her bed.  

“How are you feeling?” Kaitlyn asked, standing ramrod straight. 

Aaliyah bristled. “Shouldn’t you be out looking for Dasvoik?” 

“We’ve been running in circles with no luck. The man is like a ghost.” She paused. “I was hoping you’ve made up your mind on the hypnosis?”

“I’m afraid,” Aaliyah said softly, unable to meet Kaitlyn’s eyes. 

“What are you afraid of?”

“To remember, to relive it again. Everything. I’m afraid to go outside. I’m afraid of my own shadow.” Aaliyah dropped her head, ashamed to admit her fears out loud to a virtual stranger. 

Kaitlyn tilted her head to the side and stared at her. Aaliyah hated when she did that. It made her feel like she was being analyzed. It was as if the woman could see into her mind or something. “I could teach you to protect yourself. Do you think that would help?”

“Protect myself how?” 

“With your mind, your hands, weapons. I’m very good.” 

Aaliyah sat up a little straighter on the bed. “You would do that?”

“Yes.”

“But won’t it take away from your search?”

“We can work around it. I can teach you things and you can practice without me. I’ve worked with Quess a lot so she could help you when I’m not around.”

Aaliyah’s nose wrinkled. “Quess? She doesn’t look very tough.” 

“
Never
judge someone on appearance alone. That could turn out to be a very deadly mistake.” Kaitlyn smiled, softening her face. “Your first lesson of the day.” 

Aaliyah returned the smile. Her second smile in weeks. Not long ago, she’d thought she would never smile again. Baby steps. 

“Change into something more comfortable.”

“Now?”

“No time like the present.” 

“Umm, ok. I’m not athletic at all.”

“It’s ok, anyone can learn to protect themselves. Hurry up. I’ll be waiting in the hallway.” Kaitlyn turned and left. 

Aaliyah wrung her hands in her lap. Just like that? She’s supposed to just get dressed and follow this woman to who knew where? Panic rose in her chest. Maybe she could tell her she changed her mind. This was crazy. She took a deep breath. Learning self-defense made sense. If she could defend herself, she would be able to protect herself and her family.

She swung her legs off the side of the bed, and went over to the dresser. Her hands shook as she went to open the drawer. Flashes of Dasvoik invaded her thoughts.

 
You can do this.
How was she ever going to get on with her life if she couldn’t do something as simple as open a drawer? Up until this point, she’d only been wearing pajamas, but Kaitlyn said to wear something comfortable. 

With trembling hands, she pulled open the drawer and she nearly cried with relief when she saw nothing more than clothes. No vile objects. 

Taking a deep breath, she pulled out a pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt. The idea of wearing normal clothes seemed strange—as if she was just like everyone else going about their daily life. 

Before she could change her mind, she tossed off her pajamas and pulled on the pants and shirt. She looked at herself in the mirror and covered her mouth. From the outside she looked like a typical teenager. Like Kaitlyn said,
never judge someone on appearance alone.
Her insides were a mess, but her outward appearance gave nothing away. How was that even possible?

Kaitlyn tapped on the door. 

Aaliyah pulled her hair into a ponytail and slipped into sneakers. They were brand new and squeaked as she crossed the room. She held her hand on the doorknob for a couple of minutes before she persuaded herself to open it. Something about Kaitlyn made her believe she would be safe while she was with her. 

Kaitlyn looked her up and down. “Let’s go. We only have an hour.” 

Aaliyah walked in step with her down the hall. The walls were all white and the lights were bright. They made a sharp left and continued down the hallway. Nervous, her eyes darted in every direction. 

She tensed at the sight of a janitor pushing a cart towards them at a slow pace. He was wearing white overalls and barely glanced their way, but she was completely freaked out by his presence. Was she ever going to get past the fear? As they walked past the man, Aaliyah scooted closer to Kaitlyn. 

Kaitlyn lightly linked her arm through hers, and Aaliyah stood up straighter. 

They reached the end of the hallway, and Kaitlyn pushed a door open that led outside. Aaliyah froze. It never crossed her mind that they would leave the building. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Go outside.”

“Of course you can. I’m with you. I assure you that no one on this compound will bother us.”

Aaliyah glanced at Kaitlyn; her face was confident and left no room for questions. Who was this woman?

“We’re only going across the lawn to the training facility. We’re wasting time.” 

Aaliyah moistened her lips. “I’m scared.” 

“I was scared once, too. You cannot let fear rule you. Don’t let Dasvoik take anything more from you. Once you take a step out this door, you’ve taken the control away from him.”

Aaliyah didn’t think it was quite that easy, but she knew Kaitlyn was right. She couldn’t stay locked in her room forever. 

“Are you sure you can protect me?”

Kaitlyn’s eyes lit up and she gave her a crooked grin. “I’m the best there is. You are safer with me than anyone else.”

“How did you get so confident?”

“They made me that way.” 

“Made you that way? Through training?”

“Something like that. Come on. We don’t have much time.” 

Aaliyah stood there for only an instant, hopefully portraying an outward calm. She found herself wanting to impress Kaitlyn. 

Shaking her head in disbelief, Aaliyah took a step outside into the cold. The air felt good against her skin, and the sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky. Soon it would be spring, she realized in surprise. A part of her thought she would never set foot outdoors again, never smell fresh flowers or pine needles again. Never hear birds chirping.