Fractured Innocence (#2 IFICS) (25 page)

He searched her face. “Aaliyah, you’re trembling. Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

She was so ashamed. With renewed pang of distress, she stared at the flower for a long time. She could hear Dasvoik’s warped words echo in her mind. A part of her wanted to throw the gift and watch it shatter across the floor, but it must have taken Noah ages to get all the pieces together. 

Was he right? Could she become like the artwork? 

No, she was a person not an object. But hadn’t she been treated like an object by that bastard? Gradually, since waking up in the hospital, her intense need for Dasvoik had turned into hatred as the memories flooded her mind.  It sickened her that she had once wanted to please him. He was an evil monster that preyed on young girls. 

“I don’t know what to say. You didn’t have to do this.” She brushed the tears from her eyes. She fought to restrain the tremors by clutching the side of the bed.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” 

She paused trying to collect her thoughts. “I cry a lot these days.”

Noah reached out to touch her, but she pulled away. She didn’t know if she would ever be ready for that. He dropped his hand to his side. The look on his face tore at her heart. 

“I understand what you are trying to say, but I’m not sure I’m ready to hear it. I’m not sure a person can be put back together.” She sat back, dejected. 

He rubbed his forehead while peering down at her. “That’s ok, Aaliyah. Like I said. Time and patience. I have plenty of both. Can I sit down?”

Aaliyah looked at the seat and nodded her head. Somewhere deep in her soul she knew with the simple nod of her head she had taken a step forward. 

Maybe they could be friends. She knew she could never again give him more than that.  

Noah did most of the talking. He filled her in with school and his family. She sat back and listened but couldn’t contribute much to the conversation. She wondered if she would ever be able to tell him what she’d gone through. 

Probably not
. Dr. Chambers said it was important to talk about it, but she didn’t see how rehashing the nightmares could possible help. Thankfully, Noah did not ask any questions. 

He stayed for about an hour before he stood up to leave. Aaliyah was surprised when a deep sadness washed over her at the thought of his departure. 

“I can come back tomorrow, if you’d like? I flew in for the weekend.”

After a slight hesitation she spoke. “I think I would like that.” 

He closed his eyes and blew out a breath, clearly relieved. “Would you like me to bring you anything?”

Aaliyah thought it over. Was there anything she’d missed from the outside world? She looked down at the glass flower in her hand and shook her head. “Not that I can think of.” 

“Did you get your school books from your mom?”

School. She’d forgotten all about it. It seemed like a lifetime ago. She’d missed so much, and she was not ready to go back. She was probably going to have to repeat the year. She’d been so close to graduating. 

“It’s okay. I’ll call her and ask her to bring them over when she comes back. I’m sure she’s been in touch with the school, but I just can’t go back there. Ever.” 

Noah looked lost in thought. “You know you could do online school. I know a few guys that do that.”

Online school? She thought it over. It sounded better than facing the kids from her old school. “Maybe. I’ll see what I can find out about it. Dr. Chambers brought me a laptop the other day, but I haven’t touched it.” 

“It might be good to keep your mind busy with school.” 

He was probably right, and she needed an education. It’s not like she could just drop out of school completely. For an instant, it was as if nothing had changed between them. They were talking about something as mundane as school. 

“Bye, Noah.”

He hesitated like he wanted to say something but decided against it. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

After the door closed behind him, she stared at the glass flower. The light reflecting off it shone beautifully around the room. Without a doubt, it was the sweetest present she’d ever received—she just wished it had been anything other than a flower. 

Of course, he couldn’t have known that the symbolism of the flower would cut her like a knife. He made the gift out of love. He still loved her. If he knew what Dasvoik had done to her, though, he would run away. She knew he would. 

Maybe she should just tell him to push him away. The reminder of what they used to have and who she used to be was too much to bear. Tomorrow, she would tell him and then kick him out of her life for good. It was the only way. 

The door opened again, and Noah peeked round it. Aaliyah felt him waiting, and sensed him his hesitation, and uneasiness. 

“Forget something?” she asked.

He shifted back and forth on his feet. “Can I come back in? There’s something I have to say. I should have said it before I left, but I just couldn’t find the words.” 

Aaliyah debated. Truth be told, she was lonely. When she was by herself she felt worse. She couldn’t escape the memories. The rare visitor had become a welcome distraction. 

“Come in.” Her voice was a whisper. 

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “Aaliyah, I had to come back and tell you. I’m sorry this happened to you. If I could take away your pain I would in a heartbeat. If I could kill that bastard with my own hands, I would.” His voice trembled with emotion. His eyes shown with tears. 

Aaliyah shook her head and drew her knees to her chest, still clutching the clay in her hands. “You can’t help me. No one can. Noah, he did things to me that …” Her chin quivered. “… I can’t even think about it without wanting to scream or throw up. He ruined me.” 

“Shh. You are
not
ruined. You are strong, resilient and the most loving person I’ve ever known. You might not believe it now, but you will find your way back. I have no doubt of that.” 

“He beat and raped me.” A choked sound escaped from her throat, and she slumped back in the bed. “Tied me up for days at a time.” 

“Jesus, Aaliyah.” Staring emphatically into her eyes, Noah walked forward. Gently he pried at her fingers and carefully removed the flower from her hand. He set it on the stand next to her and pulled her into his arms. Her head dropped to his shoulder, and her body shook violently. 

“Now do you see why you can’t love me anymore?” Aaliyah felt pressure building in her chest, as if her heart were being squeezed.

“Why wouldn’t I love you anymore? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” he replied. “If anything, I love you more. I was going insane when you were gone. I didn’t know if you were alive or dead. The fact that you are alive… We’ll get through this together.” 

“I don’t know if I can.” Aaliyah’s voice sank. She pulled away, embarrassed that Noah had seen her break down like that. 

“Yes, you can. One day at a time. One minute at a time, if that’s what it takes. I’m not going anywhere. Let me help you. Please.” He stared into her eyes.

“Maybe.” She heard her voice crack and crossed her unsteady arms across her chest. 

Noah closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “Maybe.
That
I can work with. Thank you, Aaliyah.”

“He called me petal and flower.” She trembled, frustrated that even saying the words out loud made her shake. Instantly she felt numb.

“Petal?” Noah looked down at his gift his face contorted. “I’m so sorry, Aaliyah. If I had known, I would have made something different.  I can throw it away.”

She turned to him, blinking. She’d drifted back to that horrible place in the back of her mind. “No, I want to keep it. It’s not your fault.” 

With a troubled expression, Noah cleared his throat. “Are you sure? I wish I had known.” 

“Dr. Chambers would tell me I need to take the negative and replace it with a positive. Quess would say it was serendipity.” 

“Quess?”

 “She’s my …” Aaliyah hesitated “…friend.” It was strange to think she’d made a friend out of this ordeal.  Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to take Harrington up on his offer. She couldn’t imagine going back to her old neighborhood. The only thing holding her back would be Noah... But even he would be going off to college in the fall. 

Dr chambers was right—she had a lot of healing to do before she was ready to decide. But she also had a new path at her feet—one that might help her regain the soul she thought she’d lost at the hands of Dasvoik. She had a lot to think about the next few weeks.

CHAPTER 27

Slovenia. Three days later.

Kaitlyn was momentarily taken aback by the beauty around her. She shed the oxygen tank on her back. She couldn’t resist appreciating the magnificence of the enormous rock formation. The craggy cliff went almost straight up, slanting away from the ocean towards the top. Visible only with her enhanced eyesight, the area appeared to be bathed in an orange glow. Water crashed against the rocky coast, and mist rose from the ocean. 

The phrase
eerily beautiful
crossed her mind out of nowhere.

     “Alpha 3, status? Over.” Lucas’s voice came through her imbedded mic.

     “This is Alpha 3. We are set.”

     “Roger.”

     “Do we have confirmation the target is on the grounds?”

     “Affirmative.”

They were so close to completing the mission. Dasvoik would finally get what he deserved. A sense of elation washed over her at the thought, followed quickly by another. Dr. Chambers would not approve. 

Erik had already removed his wetsuit, changed and was now attaching the climbing harness around his legs. His watch cap rode low over his forehead. They were both clothed all in black. 

     Their eyes met, and he nodded once. She could see his pulse throb in his forehead. His heart rate was elevated. She wondered if it was because the climb would be dangerous or the mission in general. 

    Moments later, Ace and Nick, along with three other guys, joined them on the shore. They would all make the climb with the newcomers remaining in place as a support element in case anything went wrong. Kaitlyn wasn’t particularly fond of the idea since they hadn’t had time to train together, but essentially they wouldn’t actually be involved in taking down Dasvoik. 

   She turned away and slipped on her own harness and climbing shoes, while Erik talked to the guys. She checked her weapons, shouldered her pack, grabbed the coiled nylon and tossed it over her shoulder. 

  “Be careful. The cliff is brittle,” Erik said to her when he’d finished his talk with the others. Reaching up, he grabbed a handhold, tested it, and then secured his first foothold. Kaitlyn watched him hug the cliff wall and soon followed his lead. They had climbed together many times in training, where they were taught to stay at least twenty feet a part. The separation made it harder for a sniper to take them both out at once. If one of them got shot at, the other was able to return fire. There wasn’t much chance of that from this location, but she knew to never underestimate an enemy as cunning as Dasvoik. It was always possible he had boats patrolling the area.  

    Ace and his team would follow in thirty minutes.  

    With her left hand, she groped the rocky wall until she found a narrow crevice to wedge her fingers into. She hung by one hand while seeking out a foothold on a thin ledge. Erick wasn’t kidding about it being brittle. Rock splintered beneath her weight. She moved cautiously to the right. The ledge widened enough to reduce the strain on her fingertips. 

  Erik scurried up the sheer wall, moving with practiced ease. Kaitlyn alternately climbed then paused, her body pressed against the jagged cliff, to let him get a little farther ahead. His broad shoulders and powerful forearms made him a natural, but he still had to deal with the human elements that didn’t trouble her: cramped hands, water breaks and maintaining his heart rate. At the pace they were going it would take them at least three hours to reach the top. The swirling mist made the rocks slick, so they had to go slower than normal. 

     Dasvoik
should
be sound asleep. There was still the question of how many sentries they would have to get through to get to him, but she wasn’t worried. 

     When they finally reached the top, Eric extended his hand and pulled her the rest of the way up. He leaned back on his hunches, his chest heaving. 

“Glad that’s over with.” He wiped his brow and took a swig from his canteen. “Not a big fan of heights.”

      Kaitlyn was startled by his confession. “You’re afraid of heights?”

      He grinned. “I didn’t say afraid. I said not a fan. There’s a difference.”

   “Well you hide it well.” Kaitlyn said, keeping her voice low as she unclipped the harness and dropped it into her bag. 

      They checked in with Lucas and the support team before they advanced, clinging to the shadows. Clouds covered the nearly full moon. Occasionally it peeked through the coverage to throw off a stream of light in the dark woods. 

After forty minutes of silent movement, they reached the edge of the forest and paused to check in again with Lucas. There was a break in the woods and a wide clearing stretched before them. They needed to reach the coverage of trees on the other side – fast and without tipping off the guards.

“Security camera to the right, two hundred yards.”  His voice crossed the line. “Give me a few seconds.”

 Kaitlyn and Erik waited.

 “All clear,” Lucas said calmly in her ear. 

Kaitlyn nodded to Erik to signal she was ready. They sprinted forward. There was a lot of ground to cover before they made it to the main house. They had a good idea where the sentries would be placed, but it wasn’t for certain—just an educated guess on how they would handle the security for the compound, if they designed it. 

The orange tip of a cigarette glowed in the distance, an instant indication that someone was present. Kaitlyn would never understand why someone would have a habit that would seem to undermine his work as a security guard.