Fragile Bonds (21 page)

“I’m sorry for the disruption,” I tell the manager, now a bit embarrassed for how loud we got. Every single word was deserved, but we’re adults and should act like it.

“Are you kidding? That woman is in here every week running her mouth. It felt good to be able to kick her out for once.”

“Feel better?” Melanie laughs, opening her arms to me. I don’t answer her, but yes, I feel as if I’ve purged a bit of the anger I’ve held onto for so long and, despite everything Stacey has done, we’re somehow back to being where we belong.

United front. That’s the only way to describe how Xavier and I have been functioning for the past two months. Stacey being at Wing Stop the night we got back together turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened to us. Before that, I felt like she was this black cloud hovering over us, her lies a toxin to what we used to share. It was liberating to stand next to the man she tried to convince me had thrown me out like garbage and listen to him tell her that we’re stronger than ever because of her actions.

Sometimes, it’s hard to imagine how things were between us when we were younger. What we have now is so much different, deeper.
We still have our fair share of rough days, but that’s to be expected in any relationship.

“Miss Melanie, will you make me a cake on Sunday?” Jacob’s eyes are sad when I look to where he’s sitting, watching me make dinner. Tonight, Xavier will be home from his last business trip and Jacob wanted to do something nice for him. I’ve quickly learned that Alyssa used to find all sorts of reasons to celebrate before she got sick and she’s passed that on to her son. It’s a bit awkward at times, and I do feel like I’m living in her shadow, but I’m glad Jacob feels that he can talk to me about his mom.

“Why Sunday?” I ask.

“Because Mommy always made me a chocolate cake on my birthday,” he says quietly.
I feel horrible for not knowing something as important as Jacob’s birthday. I can’t help but feel as if this is going to be the first major hurdle Xavier and I have to overcome in our relationship. Not only that, but it’s the middle of July and I haven’t heard Xavier mention anything about Jacob going to Kindergarten in a couple of months. As I put the pan of ziti in the oven and start cleaning up so there’s no mess when Xavier gets home, I realize the time has come when we’re going to have to have a long talk.

Until now, I’ve been the one insisting that we take things slow, but I’m beginning to feel as if the only piece of our relationship that’s moving at a snail’s pace is communication.
He’s nervous about overwhelming me or making me feel like he’s pushing for something more serious than I’m ready for, but that’s put me in the position where I had no clue Jacob’s birthday is coming up. That can’t keep happening.

“I will absolutely make you a birthday cake,” I promise him. I lift him off the bar stool at the breakfast bar so we can take Brody for a walk. “What do you want for your birthday dinner?”

Jacob appears deep in thought as we walk through the courtyard. It’s cute to see how seriously he takes such a decision. “Can I pick anything I want?” he asks, grabbing Brody’s leash out of my hands.

“Anything at all,” I tell him, loving the look of bliss on his face. He’s grown so much since I met him, he’s losing the toddler
pudge and his vocabulary has exploded. Thanks to spending every sunny day in the complex swimming pool, his skin is a deep olive color despite the fact that we always use sunblock on him. I sit on the park bench and just watch him as he plays with Brody. It’s funny how I used to do everything in my power to fill every possible minute and now, I can’t imagine not having my days free to spend with Jacob.

Four days later, my kitchen looks like a bag of flour exploded all over. I thought about taking the easy way out and having Betty Crocker help me, but I want today to be special for Jacob.
Thank God for the internet because I’ve never baked a cake from scratch. Given how long it has taken me to get to the stage where the cake is going in the oven, I probably will let Betty do what she does best from now on.

No matter how many times I told Jacob he could have anything he wanted for his birthday dinner, he insisted on macaroni and cheese with hot dogs. I found a great recipe online and I’m hoping that it will meet his standards. I have a lot to learn about little kids, because I can’t imagine wanting the same thing you eat at least once a week as something special. 

Braydon knocks on my door as I finish frosting the cake. Since I insisted on all of this being a surprise, he was sweet enough to offer to come over and help me take everything, and the dog, over to Xavier’s place. “Smells great in here,” he says cheerfully. He gives me a peck on the cheek as he picks at the crumb topping on the casserole of pasta.

“Thanks, now let’s hope it’s edible,” I laugh. I don’t consider myself a bad cook by any means, but I’m apprehensive because I have big shoes to fill today.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Braydon assures me, picking up the cake as he whistles for Brody. “This is freaking amazing,” he says, looking down at the chocolate cake decorated with monster trucks running over toy cars. I was nervous about the gift I’m giving him, so I figured putting toys on his cake will be my saving grace if the present falls flat.

“Thanks. You think he’s going to like it?” I ask nervously. If my hands weren’t full, I would be chewing on my nails.

“He’s going to love it.” Braydon grabs my keys off the counter, following me into the hallway.

When we walk into Xavier’s apartment, Jacob is already bouncing off the walls. I can only imagine what it’s going to be like trying to get him to go to sleep tonight after we pump him full of sugar. “
Melly, did you make me a chocolate cake?” he asks as he runs into my legs, almost causing me to dump dinner all over the floor. Xavier wasn’t thrilled when I told him I wasn’t a huge fan of Jacob calling me Miss Melanie now that we’re a couple. It felt too formal, but Xavier argued that it’s a sign of respect. Eventually, I won, and it didn’t take long until ‘Melanie’ was shortened to ‘Melly’.

After setting dinner on the table, I kneel on the floor, opening my arms for a birthday hug. I pull him tight to my body, holding on a little longer than normal. Xavier called earlier and said Jacob is having a rough day because he misses his mom. I’m not going to bring it up to him because right now he seems okay, but I wish there was some way I could take away that loneliness.

“Was I supposed to make you a cake?” I ask, tickling his belly so he’ll know I’m joking.

“Yep, you said you’d make a cake on Sunday, and that’s today.” I groan as I pick him up. I swear he’s going through yet another growth spurt, which is crazy to me. His eyes grow wide as they land on his cake. “Is that for me?” he asks, in awe of my creative prowess. If only everyone was so easy to please.

“I don’t know, your uncle saw the cake and said he wants it for himself,” I tease.

Jacob shakes his head, glaring at Braydon. “Your birthday isn’t today. This is
my
truck cake!”

We all laugh and I put Jacob on the ground so he can take a seat in the chair that has so many
Mylar balloons tied to it, I’m half expecting it to take flight any moment. With Jacob satisfied, I turn my attention to Xavier. “Hey, babe,” I say as he circles my waist. His mouth lowers to mine, his firm lips taste like the slightest hint of Scotch. “How are you holding up?”

Xavier doesn’t like to talk much about Alyssa, so I’ve been picking and choosing when to bring her up. Today, it’s understandable, expected really, for him to be thinking about her since
it’s Jacob’s first birthday without her. I only knew her for a few months and I’ve caught myself thinking about her quite a bit. I can’t imagine what Xavier is dealing with in his mind.

“As well as can be expected,” he says with a shrug. “But better now that you’re here. Thank you for taking care of all of this.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Xavier.” He pulls out the chair next to Jacob and I sit. “I’m glad I was able to give him a bit of normalcy today. Any more problems?”

Xavier shakes his head as he walks around to the other side of the table. I have a feeling there’s a lot to be said in that simple movement, but this isn’t the time or the place for that discussion. We focus on Jacob through dinner, only bringing up things that will make him happy. Fortunately, the mac and cheese was a hit, so much so that he’s already requesting that I make this every week. I swear, the kid could eat the stuff three meals a day if he was allowed.

Braydon lights five candles on the birthday cake and turns out the lights. When the cake is in front of Jacob, we all watch as he closes his eyes tightly before blowing out the candles.

“What did you wish for, buddy?” Xavier asks as Jacob starts pulling the toy trucks off the cake. I cringe as I watch him drag the frosting covered wheels across the table. Oh well, it’s his birthday, might as well let him have fun.

“I can’t tell you, silly,” Jacob giggles. “If I do, my wish won’t come true.”

“Good plan,” Xavier responds.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Mel asks me as we clean up from dinner. “You know this is the last chance you have to back out before he opens his presents. I can tell him we’ll take him shopping after preschool tomorrow.”

“No, I think it’s the perfect gift.” She’s standing at the kitchen sink, rinsing all of the dishes before loading the dishwasher. No matter how many times I tell her that she doesn’t need to pre-wash them, she does it every time. I move behind her, pressing my chest against her back. “I love you, Mel.”

She turns around, brushing her hip against my dick, which has almost gotten used to the constant state of blue balls. I curse myself for vowing to wait to take our relationship to that level. Not only do I want to make sure that our first time together after so long isn’t a quickie where we have to worry about Jacob knocking on the door, I also need to know that what we have is going to last. I feel like a complete puss every time I remind myself of that fact, but it’s the truth. I know what it was like to get over Melanie once, I don’t want to do it again.

“You know, you almost never call me Melanie anymore,” she points out, looking up at me with those dark brown eyes that melt my heart. “Why?”

I hadn’t realized it, but now that she’s brought it up, she’s right. “Because I was the only person who called you that. That’s what I called you before, and when you showed up last year, it was the best way to keep some distance between us. Your friends call you Mel, and that was when I was trying to
not
be your friend.”

“Gee, thanks,” she laughs, pushing me away
. I grab her wrists in my hands, pulling her with me. She sucks in a sharp breath when I pin both of her hands behind her back. While we’ll never have that type of relationship again, it’s fun to watch her react when I take control. Of course, it also sends the blood racing straight to my cock, which I know she can feel pressing against her stomach.

“You know what I mean.” I lean down and kiss her quickly before we make our way into the living room, where I can already hear Jacob tearing the paper on one of his gifts.