Fragments of your Soul (The Mirror Worlds Book 1) (34 page)

“Of course I’m ‘okay’; it’s not like I’m still standing on the circle,” Loke said. “Have you ever tried that?”

“Of course not! Why would I?”

“Out of curiosity, perhaps? Pain exerts a kind of brutal inspiration—it’s highly intriguing.” His voice was icy. “Previously, this was Odin’s favorite punishment for me if I had messed something up or if he couldn’t find another scapegoat. Almost a bit disappointing that he’s gotten tired of that.”

“Are you serious? Odin wanted you to stop on a circle of protection?”

“Oh, he didn’t only want me to. It was easy for him to force me to do so. He’s a black mage, and the most powerful one I know.”

Arvid was horrified. The mere idea of standing on a circle of protection for more than a brief moment was terrible. The idea of being detained there by force, without knowing when the pain would stop, gave her nausea. At the same time she suddenly remembered something she had read in a book in Vero-Maghen a few months back. She had dismissed it as a fairy tale because it had sounded so bizarre and unthinkable, but now she wasn’t so sure.

“So it’s true that… that you were once tortured for three days?”

Loke snorted gruffly. “Bullshit. Odin never thought it to be entertaining for more than a few hours. Nevertheless, plenty of time to explore all the dark corners of the soul that you otherwise never would have found, right?”

Arvid would have liked to reply to that, but they had now reached the city gate, which was guarded by an exceptionally large number of armed soldiers, who scrutinized them in detail. Hastily Arvid made sure her hood concealed her hair thoroughly, but her concern proved to be unfounded. The guards seemed to be more interested in a horse-drawn cart loaded with goods, which was approaching the gate at a distance behind them.

The city streets were crowded. Nod told Arvid that Karst had a huge market, well-known even outside of Jördendheim’s borders, that attracted traders and buyers from everywhere.

They delivered their mounts to a long stable building near the city wall, along with the package of letters they had taken from Erendal. Then they lodged in a tiny, dark hostel where Loke announced that he had to take care of various matters for the rest of the day. Of course he didn’t want to offer any details. He sent Arvid and Nod off to the market to get the last things for their onward journey. The next morning he wanted to depart very early.

“Don’t let anyone steal from you,” Loke said sternly, as he handed Arvid a small bag of money. “Keep off common rooms, and stay where there’s a lot of people. No personal conversations—people could recognize you.”

The market was so crowded that Nod and Arvid were progressing only slowly. Every possible and impossible thing seemed to get offered, ranging from craft goods, fresh fruits and vegetables to live animals from all corners of the world. Music filled the air; jugglers and star lamp sellers were wandering around. Near the large fountain a merchant had an unimaginable variety of naturally glowing plants on display, some of them as tall as himself.

It took Arid hours to buy everything Loke had told her. Among other things, she had acquired closed fur gaiters, mittens from lambskin and a thick fur-lined cloak of pale beige color. At first Arvid had inhibitions about spending so much money that did not even belong to her, even though she knew that Loke probably had plenty of it. Then Nod told her how high the school fees for one year at Vero-Maghen were, and the price of the clothes suddenly seemed ridiculous.

They found a place on a brick ledge at a house wall in the back of the market, from where they could easily overlook the hustle and bustle from a certain height. Arvid’s feet hurt from the long wandering through the market, and now that she was sitting here with Nod and looked at the noisy crowd of people in front of them, an oppressive melancholy began to take hold of her.

“I wish you could just come with us,” she said dejectedly. The thought of having to say goodbye to Nod tomorrow morning, probably forever, caused a burning pain in her heart. So far, she had repressed any thought about it.

“I wouldn’t want that,” Nod said softly. “In the Ice Wastes there is nothing for me, and where you go, I can’t follow.”

“And you shouldn’t. Your home is here. Maybe not in Karst, but… in this world. You belong in my world as little as I do in yours.”

“I’ll probably stay here in the city for a while,” said Nod. “Maybe they need someone at the City Guard.”

“I thought you don’t like that.”

“Everyone has to live somehow. Karst is a trading town. They will need people who keep an eye on the merchants. It can’t hurt to speak several languages. Look, over there, there’s even dwarves here.”

Arvid turned her head in wonder. She recognized a group of three short, broadly built men, who otherwise didn’t seem to be different. Since they quickly disappeared in the crowd, she had no opportunity to take a closer look, but now something else caught her eye.

“Giants,” she murmured. There were two, a man and a woman, who made their way through the crowd with tense faces. They proceeded very slowly, even though the people respectfully moved out of their way, which was probably a good idea: Even the tall human men only reached up to their bellies. The two giants were wrapped in light, colorful clothes, had gray, matted hair and shimmering, silvery skin.

“Always a fascinating sight,” Nod said, “although you regularly encounter them here in the north. But they rarely venture into the cities.”

“I thought giants and humans were enemies.”

“No, they haven’t been in a long time. They may not exactly be friends, but there has been peace between the two peoples for more than two hundred years. Although I must admit I don’t know much about them.”

“They are a difficult people,” a voice suddenly said. Arvid turned around, startled. Nod also turned his head. Not far from them sat a plain-dressed man with a gray beard on the ledge. He held a large piece of bread in his hand. “Some of the oldest giants would like to eat humans for breakfast, that’s how much they despise them.” He laughed harshly and took a bite of his bread, which, however, did not prevent him from going on. “The thought is disturbing, isn’t it? Fortunately, this generation will soon be extinct. In my younger years I had a lot to do with them, but even after all this time I still think that they’re rather scary.”

“I don’t get this impression,” said Arvid. “They seem to be quite peaceful.”

“These two, yes,” said the bearded man, “but you’re not standing directly in front of them. It’s hard to stay relaxed, negotiating with someone from whom a simple slap can be deadly.”

“Are they that short-tempered?” said Arvid.

Nod nudged her with his elbow, and although Arvid knew what he wanted to tell her, she could not restrain her curiosity.

“No, not really,” replied the man, “but it still makes you worry and wonder… The giants have no appreciation or respect for ordinary people.” He took another bite of bread, chewed for a moment, then continued, “Without either physical size, power or wealth, you’re quickly dismissed as worthless by them.”

Since Nod kept badgering her, they soon said goodbye to the man and made their way back to the hostel. In fact, they saw another giant on the way. He couldn’t just hide in the crowd like the dwarves.

As much as Arvid wished this hour would never come, it was finally there. Loke woke them very early. They ate in complete silence before they packed up their things and Nod accompanied them to the street just outside the hostel. He would stay here and try to find work in Karst. Arvid could only hope that he would be happy here or elsewhere.

All morning she had been fighting back tears. When Nod eventually hugged her goodbye, she could no longer restrain herself. She held him tightly and began to cry.

“I’ll miss you so much, Nod,” she said, softly sobbing. “Never in my life I had a friend like you, and now I won’t even be able to write to you.”

“Find your luck, Arvid,” whispered Nod, but his voice trembled. He gently stroked her hair, and when he finally pushed her away and looked at her, Arvid saw tears glistened in his eyes.

“I’ll be happy here,” he said, but his eyes were full of sorrow. “You’ll see your mother again soon, your homeland. Your life and your happiness are out there waiting for you.”

Arvid thought about her mother and her smile. She thought of her home and the view from the window, the street outside the cafe and the park through which she had walked almost daily. All this seemed so far away, like the fading memories of a dream. So much had happened. Arvid knew she could not allow herself to forget her home, forget who she really was and where she came from.

With difficulty she forced herself to nod. “You’re right,” she said in a trembling voice. “We must both look forward…”

“Yes,” said Nod, then he put his arms around Arvid once again and held her close. “Take care,” he whispered. Before she could hug him back, he had released her, turned around with a jerk and ran away.

The pain of seeing him go was unbearable. Arvid wanted to call him back, but then she realized that it would only make things worse. She feebly lowered her arms while she watched Nod disappearing inside the hostel. Tears ran down her cheeks, but at the same time a new feeling began to stir deep inside her. It was a gently burgeoning, dull determination, knowing that she wouldn’t let all this pain be in vain.

A few hours later she and Loke left Karst and continued their journey on horseback, along the White River and farther north. The farther they went, the more difficult and rocky the landscape became. Soon the only trees were small groups of high pines that somehow looked unkempt and disheveled. Although the land was flat, they again and again rode over solid rock, which only here and there was relieved by patches of green.

The river soon disappeared in a narrow canyon, which dug itself deeper and deeper into the ground. In reality, the terrain rose barely noticeably, and yet it seemed as if the water ate its way into the rock like acid, until it finally disappeared somewhere in the depths.

Toward evening they found shelter in the shadow of a huge boulder and some bushes. Arvid’s mood had improved a bit in the last few hours, but now she felt the exhaustion of the long ride in her limbs. Although her body ached, it was a relief to stand on her own feet and to be able to take a few steps again. She wandered over to the canyon, but didn’t manage to see down to its bottom, and so she shortly afterwards returned to Loke. He sat at a safe distance from the fire, leaning against the rock and looking at the flames, unmoved.

“Are we going to come across any settlements?” Arvid asked eventually, more to break the oppressive silence between them than out of real interest.

“No,” Loke replied without looking up. “We soon reach the area where the border to the Ice Wastes moves. Hardly anyone wants to live there.”

Arvid nodded thoughtfully. “It must be hard to see where the border is. The river cannot be seen from up here.”

“Where exactly it is doesn’t matter,” Loke said. His face was still expressionless, but there seemed to be a hint of bitterness in his voice as he spoke. “The fact is, it previously lay much farther south. Even in summer, the water flowed under a layer of ice, all the way to Karst. Deep down in the darkness of the canyon the cold was preserved, even when the surrounding lands were warmed by the sun and appeared green and flourishing.”

“Why not now?” said Arvid.

“About three days’ journey upriver there is an underground spring. The arising water is piping hot. Previously it never reached the surface, but continued to flow underground. Today it unites with the White River farther down, though, and heats its water.”

“I… see,” Arvid said. “But… didn’t you tell me that the treaty that defined the border was a ruse? If the source is to blame, how could it be a ruse then?”

“Odin knew about it,” Loke said, looking at her now. In his dark eyes the flames of the campfire reflected, and yet they radiated an unsettling chill. “He had Noldir at his side, a god from the Island of Ashes, who was able to see behind things. It was an accidental discovery, and yet more than welcome. After the contract had been completed, Odin just needed to help it along a little, and all the land between Karst and the source fell to him, without him having to sacrifice even a single soldier.”

“Noldir?” said Arvid puzzled.

“Not that Noldir,” said Loke, “but his father, also a god. He is long dead, but his son is just like him.” He made a contemptuous sound. “He bows to Odin’s whims without resistance and gets involved in every one of his stupid ideas, without even thinking about it.”

“So you were against it?”

“Against what?”

“Against this treaty, this ruse,” Arvid said. “You seem to be very angry about it.”

For a moment, Loke stared at her in silence. Arvid wondered if she had said something wrong, because in Loke’s eyes she suddenly read a mixture of hardness and something dark, indefinable. Arvid could not tell exactly what it was. There was no anger, no hate, no pain, yet it had a touch of all of these feelings. In a disturbing way it reminded her of something that was also sleeping somewhere deep in her own soul.

“I didn’t belong to Asgard back then,” Loke said finally and got up. “Get some sleep. I’ll go hunting.”

“Hunting?” Arvid asked doubtfully. They had plenty of supplies and were not exactly equipped for hunting, but a moment later she realized that Loke meant something completely different.

“Lacerate wild animals’ bodies, taste their blood and violently extinguish their lives,” he said in an icy voice. The look he gave Arvid was so thoroughly filled with darkness, it gave her the chills. A moment later Loke turned around and became a black, shaggy creature who silently disappeared into the night.

The farther north they went, the steeper the terrain was and the faster the temperatures dropped. At first snow could only be seen in cracks and spots shielded from the sun, but when they took a break at noon of the third day, they were surrounded by a barren landscape of ice, snow, hard rock and scattered, sickly-looking firs. Arvid shivered despite her warm clothes, and her nose and cheeks were numb with cold.