Authors: Kristin Elizabeth Clark
is what I'm singing.
I seem to be all about
counting my blessings right now.
There's that San Diego sunshine
getting thicker by the day
now the rain is almost done.
Been having fun with my
new gaming bud
the last couple weeks.
Still hasn't told me
what made him
come to the center
          and I'm praying about that,
but it's peaceful knowing
all will be revealed
in Your time, Lord.
Willows's loss,
my gain
in a way.
Generous kid was shocked
I don't own a system.
        (Not too weird when you figure
        it's either games
        or books for school.)
He texted me to stop by
and pick up
his old PS2 later.
I wouldn't feel right
borrowing it
if he was a client.
Thank you, God,
for Brendan!
I sing all the way to the center.
The air smells sweet and,
Girl, it's one of those days
just great to be alive.
Later, I even smile
when I look up from my desk
to see Jim from Adult Day Care.
“No beer today, Jim.
Let's get you back next door.”
I leave Lisa in charge
and I take him back over.
Miss Prissy Pants isn't there
but Lordy, Lordy,
the specimen that comes to the door
is a FINE substitute.
Tall, handsome, cocoa-colored eyesâ
models scrubs like he's in
GQ
or something.
          “I am so sorry!” he says to me.
          Even agitated, his voice is honey.
          “They warned me about this!
          I don't know how he got by!”
I smile. “It happens to the best.
Jim here's a regular Houdini.”
I'm feeling generous.
Handsome nurses do that to me.
Cocoa Eyes smiles back at me.
          “You work next door, right?”
          he asks.
“Yep.” Now how'd he know that?
                  “I saw you leaving
                  yesterday.”
That's how.
          “Could you wait here a minute?”
          He's got Jim by the elbow, gentle.
Lordy, do I want to but,
“I better get back.”
        Beautiful smile again.
        “Teen center, right?”
All I can do is nod.
        “Then you better hurry!
        Who knows what could happen
        if you leave for five minutes, right?”
        He winks.
        “See you later.”
I turn, guide my
melty body to the door.
Hear him tellin' Jim they're gonna go
see what's shakin' in the rec room.
Funny, gentle, handsome,
I like it all. Except the conversation
we'll have to have.
(And that's if I'm lucky.)
Five O'clock, the Most Beautiful Hour
I'm putting my books in my bag
when Cocoa Eyes opens the door
pokes his GORGEOUS head in.
        “Glad I caught you!
        Just wanted to say thanks
        for bringing back
        my wayward charge.”
I melt again, nod
even though my head
might fall off.
        “Can I buy you coffee?” he asks.
Disclose
        or not
disclose
                  or not.
I take a breath.
“What do you think of trans people?”
It's a safe place to ask the question
there's other people in the next room.
Cocoa Eyes tilts his head
looks at me.
                  “Why?”
Now or never.
“I am.”
                  He looks again, closer.
                  Considering.
I'm dying.
                  “Do trans people
                  like coffee?”
“We're all different,”
I tell him.
Smile.
“I do, though.”
We go to a shop around the corner.
Marcus is just as FINE inside
as he is outside.
We talk for three hours
and I'm late
to stop by Brendan's.
(Vanessa)
How a Girl Gets a Reputation
(as a stalker).
I'm glad Grand-maman has gone
back to the land of the
independent and oh-so-perfect women.
She'd sniff out what I'm up to
and I'd have no excuse.
I sit in my car down the road
from Brendan's house.
He's blown me off again
and I have to see.
Mom always says
Trust your gut.
Something's going on.
I remember doing this last year with Julie
after she and her boyfriend split.
We hid down the street
from Ben Awami's house
and pretended to be private eyes.
It was funny then
girls gone wild
in a different way.
We talked and drank Starbucks
and waited to see if his new girlfriend
would show up.
She didn't.
Nothing happened except
his dad came out to get the paper.
He didn't see us
but we drove off fast,
laughing like crazy.
When you do something
you know is stupid
it's good to do it with a friend;
then they're stupid, too.
Doing this alone is pathetic.
Brendan's Mom and Stepdad Leave
and I scrunch down
hope they don't look my way.
God, I feel dumb.
I sit for a long time,
my skinny Frappuccino melts
and just as I'm about to take off
I see HER.
She's tall,
skinny jeans,
long brown hair,
pouty supermodel lips.
My heart whooshes down
I can't breathe
I can't even cry.
The door opens
and I can't tell who answers
but it has to be him.
She steps inside.
Who the hell is she? And
                                      oh my God.
Is he seeing her?
There's only one way to find out.
(Angel)
Brendan Opens the Door
finger to his lips.
        “I just got Courtney
        off to bed,” he says.
Takes me past the room
with the harp in it
and up the wide stairs.
        “I put the console in a bag
        for you,” he tells me,
        still being quiet.
“You sure it's okay
for me to borrow it?
Your parents won't get mad?”
I whisper.
He makes a
pfftt
noise.
          “I bought it myself.”
          He stops in front of his door.
          “Uh ⦠I'm not very neat,”
          he says before opening it.
Eww, the boy speaks the truth.
He goes in and I see
bed's unmade
jeans on the floor
gaming controllers
tangled together.
He holds up Kingdom Hearts,
I nod, and he puts it in
a gym bag along with Call of Duty,
Devil May Cry 3.
We're heading back downstairs
when there's a knock on the door.
Through the side glass I see
there's a silver car in the driveway.
Brendan sees it, too,
stops, all twitchy.
        “It's my girlfriend.” His eyes big.
        “Look, can you do me a favor?”
“Maybe⦔
Not sure where he's headed.
        “Pretend you're the babysitter?”
“For real?”
        “I'm sorryâit's justâ”
Now the doorbell rings.
        “I don't want her to think
        anything weird.”
“There is nothin' weird,” I say.
            “I know, but she might think⦔
More knocking.
He looks from the door to meâ
sweatin', I can tell.
“Fine, I'm not gonna blow it.”
I get in his face.
“But you might wanna
consider being honest
with people
you care about.”
He doesn't answer.
Instead he
            hands me the bag, abrupt-like.
Opens the door
on a girl.
Small, pretty
but not
what you'd call
friendly looking.
I step out.
Brendan's already waving
even though I'm only
about two feet away.
“Bye, Angel, thanks for everything.”
(Vanessa)
Brendan Pulls Me Inside
shuts the door.
            “Hey, you,” he says,
            sounding all normal.
He goes in for a kiss.
I'm a cactus but he
doesn't notice.
            “What's up?” he asks,
            like my stopping by out of the blue
            is normal these days.
“Not much,” I say calmly.
Forget wrestling,
go into acting.
“What's up with you?”
            “Homework. Video games.”
            We head
            into the family room and
            I can't stand it anymore.
“Who the hell was that?”
The words flame from my lips.
Forget the Oscar.
He freezes
steps back to look at me
shakes his head.
            “Are you REALLY jealous
            of Court's new babysitter?”
He flops onto the sofa like
he can't believe how small,
how petty I am.
I feel stupid
that there's an explanation
but waitâ
“Well then,
why is she here
if you are, too?”
I have a seat.
                        “Last night was her first night.
                        She accidentally left her bag here
                        and came to pick it up tonight.”
                        Exasperated, amused.
I turn my head away.
I know
I'm supposed
to accept this
to forgive him,
but adrenaline
is still rushing
and I can'tânot right away.
When I finally look at him again
his face is serious.
            “Do you really think
            I'd be interested in anyone but you?”