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Authors: Mark McNay

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BOOK: Fresh
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The polis nodded at each other and went at me like terriers for a few minutes. Then they stood up and telt my uncle Albert to bring me down Baird Street on Monday to be formally charged. Ah would have to sign a statement and get my dabs took. If Ah was unlucky, Ah would end up in Glenochil like Archie. At the mention of that my auntie looked at me and shook her head.

Ah didnay want them to go. Ah thought Albert was goin to gie me the same whippin he’d gied Archie for the stolen car. But he never. He called me a stupid cunt. He thought Ah was different to that other useless cunt, that maybe Ah was the one in the family that had some fuckin brains. But no, it looked like brains were as short in me as they were in him. The only difference between us was Ah couldnay handle a beltin. Ah was such a big fuckin lassie he couldnay bear to hit me. Jessie said that’s enough Albert. He sat in his chair and growled every coupla seconds and clenched his fists. Get to yer fuckin bed he said and Ah flinched past him and up the stairs. Ah wished he’d have gave me the belt.

It wasnay so bad though. The polis dropped the charges to Criminal Damage and all Ah got was a visit from a big sergeant who showed me pictures of people hurt in fires and hoped Ah’d learned a valuable lesson. Then a social worker turned up and she took me to the pictures once a week. She was alright. Bought me sweets and asked how Ah was gettin on at school. Gambo did alright as well. The old dear in the house had only saw one of us
so the polis thought Ah was on my own. Ah never telt Gambo that though. He thought Ah’d got the third degree and refused to tell them nothin. Just as well for him, coz he’d never have got his job with a record.

*

The machine settled down to a steady beat. Sean knew it would be easy for a while so he asked Albert to watch his station while he went for a piss. Albert told him to have one for me while you’re there. Sean laughed and told him he’d see him in a minute.

He rolled a fag as soon as he got in the toilet. He lit it, took a big draw, then left it in his mouth as he pulled his dick out and had a long, delicious pish.

Pure fuckin ecstasy man.

He shook his dick and turned round to the mirror. He looked at his reflection and said wanker. The door to the toilet swung open and Sammy walked in.

Alright Sammy?

Sammy went over to the pisser. His legs crooked as he got his dick out. He half looked behind him.

Aye.

What are ye up to?

Havin a pish.

Funny.

Sammy shook his dick off and joined Sean at the basins, where he rolled himself a fag with a wee bit of hash crumbled into it. Sean pointed at the fag.

Ah don’t know how ye can smoke that stuff at work.

It’s easy, all ye do is suck it into yer mouth.

Bit of a cunny funt this mornin eh?

Sammy lit up his spliff and had a couple of double draws. He bounced a smoke ring off the mirror.

D’ye want a wee blast?

Sean looked at the dirt under Sammy’s fingernails.

No, yer alright.

Sammy nodded like a television scientist.

Gies ye a new angle on life.

Aye Ah know. But it makes me pure fuckin sleepy.

Sammy sucked his teeth with a click. Sean had a puff on his fag and exhaled with a loud sigh. Sammy looked at Sean and stroked his chin.

Ah was wonderin about ye this mornin.

What about me?

Ah didnay think ye’d have the balls.

What ye talkin about?

Sammy gave Sean a leer.

Ye know.

No, Ah don’t.

Sean took the last couple of draws on his fag and dropped the butt into a urinal. He went into a cubicle, pulled a length of toilet paper and gave his nose a blow. Sammy stayed by the basins. When Sean looked at him again, Sammy was giving him the eye.

What?

Sammy took a long draw on his fag. He watched Sean through the smoke.

Why did ye go to the bank this mornin?

How d’ye know Ah was at the bank?

Sammy touched the side of his nose.

Ah’ve got eyes and ears everywhere. Were ye there for a sub?

Mind yer own fuckin business.

Sammy licked his lips like a cat.

It’s no got anythin to do with yer brother has it?

Archie?

Ye know what Ah’m talkin about.

No, Ah don’t fuckin know. Why d’ye no spell it out to me?

Sammy’s eyes narrowed.

Ye’ve spent his money.

Sean felt like a wee mouse that’s just been clubbed by a big paw.

Fuck off, it’s in the house.

Sammy laughed and put his hands up. He walked close to Sean and pulled his mouth into a shape that wasn’t quite a smile.

Ah’m offerin ye a bit of help here wee man.

Sammy turned and walked to the wash basin. He started to wash his hands. He watched Sean in the reflection of the mirror, then he looked down into the wash basin. Sean looked at the toilet door and started walking towards it. Then he looked back at Sammy.

Yer no soundin very helpful.

Sammy looked up from his hands and smiled like a cat.

Well Ah am.

What sort of help?

The chance to get some money.

How much?

A few hunner.

That’s a lot of money Sammy.

Aye it might be, but it doesnay take long to spend it.

Ha ha. So what do ye want me to do?

Ah’ll tell ye later.

Me and Maggie had been seein each other for a coupla years when Gambo turned up at Cadge Road in this motor he’d borrowed from his work. Half the neighbours were twitchin their curtains coz the noisy bastard gave the horn some beep on his way up the street. Ah ran down the garden path goin that’s some motor wee man. Gambo gave me a smile that was pleased and embarrassed at the same time. D’ye fancy Largs for the weekend? he said. He’d already phoned Lizzie and she wanted to come but it would be better if me and Maggie came as well. More like Lizzie’s ma wouldnay let Lizzie come without Maggie. Ah was well pleased and got straight on the phone to Maggie. She said aye, and that she had somethin to tell me anyway. Ah asked her what it was and she said she’d tell me when she saw me.

Largs is an alright wee place for a weekend away. We turned up at this B&B and the landlady was a bit funny when she saw the ages of us. She didnay know what the world was comin to when they let weans our age get married. We had a wee snigger at that. It was as if
the old bag had never had her hole and she was pissed off we were.

The first night there we went to the pub and had a few beers. It was a braw wee pub and ye could imagine ye were in Magaloof or somewhere eatin paella and drinkin lager. Except there were Glesga accents everywhere and all that was on the menu was plain crisps and dry roasted nuts. Then we got a bag of chips each. We took them to the beach and ate them as the sun went down over the sea. There was a coupla clouds and the sky was like torn strips of red and blue paper. Ah’d never seen anythin so spectacular.

Gambo and Lizzie got up and said they were off to the amusements. Ah didnay want to go, so me and Maggie just sat there and said cheerio to the sun. Ah knew then Ah loved her, so Ah telt her. She telt me she thought she loved me as well. But she had somethin to tell me and Ah wasnay to get upset. She looked a bit worried. Ah didnay have any idea of what she was goin to tell me. Ah was thinkin cancer or somethin, she looked that worried. Then she telt me she was pregnant. Ah didnay know what else to say, so Ah blurted out we should get married. She just nodded her head and we got up and walked over to the amusements.

Lizzie and Gambo were well pleased for us. He telt me he was thinkin of askin Lizzie but first he was goin to wait for a promotion at work. Maybe if he’d just asked her at Largs things would’ve turned out different.

As soon as we got back to Royston we went round my auntie and uncle’s to tell them. Albert took me
aside and had a word with me. Asked me why Ah wanted to get married. Ah telt him it was coz Ah loved her and wanted to settle down. But ye don’t need to get married to do that he said. Ah telt him Maggie was pregnant. That shut him up for a while. Then he touched my arm and said marriage is alright son but it’s no all shaggin ye know. Ah nodded as if Ah knew. But Ah didnay.

Ah wanted Archie to be my best man. He was due out the jail and a coupla weeks wasnay a long wait. Gambo was a bit gutted coz he wanted the top job himself. But Ah thought Archie’s no had a lot of luck and it would gie him somethin to look forward to after the jail. We arranged to have the weddin on the last Saturday of June. Ah went to visit Archie and telt him. He was that pleased Ah was gettin married and that Ah wanted him to be my best man. Ah could see it in his eyes.

Maggie’s ma and da ordered me a suit from Burtons. They even offered to buy Archie a suit but he said he’d buy his fuckin own. He got one cheap from some shady pal of his from Springburn. It was a nice suit but. More fashionable than mine. Ah was a bit jealous but my auntie Jessie telt me no to worry coz style never goes out of fashion. And that Ah was better lookin than Archie. Ah believed her. She’s a good liar, my auntie Jessie.

The day itself was alright. We turned up down the registry office and done the vows. Me in my new suit and Maggie with her dress stretched round her belly. The woman doin the vows seemed a bit snidey and my
auntie Jessie said she was a dried up old hoor. Archie and Lizzie signed for us as witnesses and Ah noticed a few glances between them but at the time Ah never paid much attention to it. Ah was too busy gettin married. Then we piled into a coupla motors and went to the Fiveways for the reception.

It was a good do. A few beers and sandwiches and a bit of a bop. Me and Maggie had been practisin this dance for weeks, so we’d put on a good show for the old yins. And they were impressed. Ah saw my auntie Jessie dab her eyes and Maggie’s ma was greetin. Then wee Rab got up on the stage and did us a song. He was only six at the time but ye’d have thought he was older. D’ye hear that singin? said my uncle Albert noddin to his pals. That’s my fuckin boy.

He stood up and reached his hand to my auntie Jessie. Their fingers linked and didnay part till the clappin and cheerin at the end of the song. Wee Rab ran up sayin was Ah good was Ah good and Albert lifted him by the oxters and held him on his hip. My auntie Jessie put her arm round her men and glowed.

After the dance Ah saw Gambo wanderin around like a lost sheep. What’s the matter with ye? Ah said to him. He asked if Ah’d seen Lizzie. Then Maggie asked me if Ah’d seen her coz she wanted to say cheerio before we left for the hotel. So Ah went to look for her. Ah checked the lounge and some of the back rooms and went into the kitchen as a last resort.

She was bent over a table with her bridesmaid’s dress halfway up her back and Archie bangin away like he was muggin her. Ah was that shocked Ah just stood
there and watched. Then Archie noticed me, so he jammed his cock back into his trousers and pulled Lizzie’s dress over her arse. Just as she was smoothin it down, Gambo walked in. The four of us stood there dumb until Archie broke the spell by sayin what the fuck are ye lookin at?

Maggie walked in sayin what’s goin on and then she called Archie and Lizzie a pair of dirty bastards. Gambo said that’s my girlfriend. Archie looked at Gambo and said what the fuck are ye goin to do about it? Gambo turned and walked out. Ah looked at Archie and shook my head. Ya dirty fucker Ah said, and grabbed Maggie’s hand and walked out. We went into the main hall and Jessie asked us what was the matter.

Ah didnay know what to say. Maggie was goin on about her own sister fuckin up her weddin and that was the last she wanted to see of her. Maggie’s ma went into the pool room and Ah heard her givin Lizzie a slap. Archie couldnay look my auntie Jessie in the face.

Me and Gambo didnay pal about the gether after that. When Ah got back from the honeymoon Ah found out he’d moved to Hyndland. His ma wouldnay gie me his new address. Yous O’Gradys are nothin but trouble and Ah’m no giein ye the chance to hurt my boy again. Ah couldnay blame her. As for Lizzie, she moved in with Archie and, as Maggie said, she’d made her bed so she could fuckin lie in it.

*

Sean?

Aye.

Have ye spoke to Maggie?

Sean walked to Albert’s station.

Fuck sake Albert, Ah thought we’d agreed to keep this to ourselves.

She’s yer wife.

Sean banged his forehead with his palm.

Exactly Einstein.

She might be able to help.

How, by hittin Archie with a baseball bat and runnin him out of Glesga?

No, but she’s a smart lassie. She might have some good ideas.

It’ll worry the fuck out her. She’ll think Ah’ll be gettin involved in his business to pay it back.

But ye will.

Ah’ll probably have to if Ah cannay get some money the gether.

Albert crossed his arms and nodded like an old woman.

Well then.

Maggie doesnay need to know that. Does she? And anyway, it’s none of her business. It’s between me and Archie.

But she’s yer wife.

So?

Well ye should tell her.

D’ye tell my auntie Jessie every detail of your life?

No.

So why are ye tellin me to?

Ah don’t want ye to make the same mistakes and
have to learn the same lessons. It’s fuckin hard that way.

Sean rammed a chicken onto a hook.

Ah cannay tell her.

How no?

She’s a woman. It’s my job to look after her, no the other way about.

Albert pointed at Sean.

Stop makin excuses son.

Chickens started landing in Sean’s station, so he ran over to sort them out.

Albert joined him at his station.

So are ye goin to tell her?

Ah don’t know. What’s the point of worryin her?

She’ll find out sooner or later.

Ah’d rather it was later.

Albert scratched his head.

Ah don’t understand you Sean.

Sean looked Albert in the eye.

She’ll hit the fuckin roof.

Albert laughed.

Ah knew ye were feart.

Sean pointed at Albert.

Don’t be fuckin cheeky ya cunt.

Albert put his hands up.

Alright wee man. Take it easy.

Ah’m no henpecked, if that’s what yer thinkin.

Everybody’s a bit scared of their wives.

Sean puffed out his chest.

Ah’m fucked if Ah am.

Ah am.

What, really?

Aye well ye’ve seen yer auntie Jessie in action.

Sean nodded. Albert went on.

Well if ye think that’s bad ye should have seen her when she was younger. My God, what a temper. Many a time she’s blew up and started throwin things around the house. Sean laughed.

Ah can just see my auntie Jessie giein it laldie with a brush in her hand.

Albert pointed at a scar on his forehead.

And d’ye see this?

Ye got that on a buildin site in Bishopbriggs.

No.

So how did ye get it?

Ye cannay be sayin anythin to yer auntie.

Sean crossed himself.

No. Ah swear on it.

We were havin a row one night and she threw a fuckin knife at me. Stuck right in. Ah had to tug the fuckin thing to get it back out. Sean could hardly believe it.

And ye never hit her back?

No. So have ye ever hit Maggie?

Have Ah fuck. When she blows up Ah just fuck off down the Fiveways till she cools down.

So ye are scared of her.

Sean winked.

Sometimes. But it’s no so much that. What really fucks me off is when Ah get the silent treatment. It can go on for days. Ye feel like smashin the house up after a coupla hours, never mind fuckin days.

If ye think she’ll be sulkin after ye tell her this, think how long she’ll sulk if she finds out from Sammy or some old gossip in the street.

True enough.

Well are ye goin to tell her?

Ah’ll think about it.

Albert’s station started pumping out chickens, so Sean helped him for a bit. They stood side by side and hung chickens. Then Sean’s station started. They looked at each other and smiled. Sean walked over and got to grips with some birds. They dropped in an untidy pile and he knew he’d have to go like fuck to clear them before they ended up on the floor. They weren’t very big or heavy though. Cheap birds for small families. Enough for a meal for the four of them with nothing left over for the man’s sandwiches on the Monday. In fact it would be a skimpy meal the wife would have to make-up for by doing extra roast potatoes and vege tables. The chicken bones would end up in the bin with all the meat sucked off them. Like they’d been lying on the beach. Even the rats wouldn’t bother with them.

Out the corner of his eye he saw Sammy come into the Junction. Sean waited for him to come over and start asking after Archie’s money. As the chickens fell, his back tensed with the shadow of Sammy. Sean thought he felt his smelly breath on his neck and he shivered. But the chickens were falling too quick for him to turn and have a word. He could feel Sammy stare right through his jacket and overalls and into his heart. Like he could scan his soul and see wee Donna enjoying the proceeds of Archie’s crime. Eventually the chickens
slowed and Sean turned to speak but Sammy was up the other side of the Junction talking to Albert.

Sammy was leaning down with his head almost touching Albert’s. The old boy had his back to the conveyor belt. He was shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders. Sammy pointed at Sean with his thumb and noticed Sean was looking. He showed Albert the back of his hand before he walked out of the Junction.

Sean went to walk over to Albert but the line started pumping chickens and he had to go back and sort them out. It was cold but he felt a wave of heat hit his cheeks. The chickens built to a fair-sized pile on the belt before he got it together to start hanging them. As he cleared them, he saw the yellow gloved hands of Albert amongst the chickens. The pile receded fast and disappeared. Albert turned to Sean.

That Sammy’s a sly fucker.

Tell me somethin Ah don’t know.

He’ll have ye.

He’s no clever enough to have me.

Albert narrowed his eyes.

Ah’m serious son. Ye need to keep yer eye on him.

Ah’ve always watched Sammy.

Albert took his cap off.

He’s tryin to get ye.

What are ye talkin about?

He asked me how ye’d got on down the bank.

And what did ye say?

Ah telt him Ah didnay know what he was talkin about.

Right answer. Then what did he say?

That ye better have got on at the bank or ye were in trouble.

Sean scratched his head.

He’s a cheeky bastard so he is.

But he said he’d sort ye out if ye needed it.

Aye Ah know.

But when he said it he was gloatin.

Aye but he would be.

It was more than that Sean. He’s got somethin up his sleeve.

Sean was startled out of his worry by chickens landing on his station. He picked them up and hung them without much trouble. The rhythm was easy. Just the right speed to keep his muscles loose and his brain active. If they kept at this pace all day the shift would go past in a flash.

George came into the Junction and told Sean he had a phone call.

Who from?

Yer missus.

What does she want?

She says it’s urgent.

Sean dropped a chicken back onto the conveyor belt.

Urgent?

Aye that’s what Ah said, urgent.

BOOK: Fresh
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