From Ashes (13 page)

There was a soft knock on the door and Gage poked his head in. “Mornin’, how are you feeling?”

“Like a truck ran over me.”

“What were you thinking, Cass?” His eyes narrowed as he sat on the end of the bed.

“Wait . . . you’re—are you mad at me?”

“Mad? Darlin’, I’m furious. You could have died! Does no one understand that? Because apparently Tyler didn’t get the memo either.”

My breath stuck in my throat. “You spoke to Tyler? When?”

“When I left you with Dana last night, I went to go talk to him.” His green eyes flashed and he looked away quickly before settling his narrowed gaze back on me.

“I don’t remember a lot of last night. Just coming here, and parts of the shower.”

His eyes softened for a second. “Cass—just tell me why you didn’t try to get someone to help you. Or ask someone to use their phone.”

“I don’t know anyone’s number; it’s all just saved in my phone. And it was really late, I didn’t think it’d be safe to hitchhike over here.”

“And walking over here in sleet wearing your pajamas
is
safe?”

“Seemed like it at the time,” I mumbled lamely as I finally managed to get off the bed and tried to ignore the way my entire body felt like it was two seconds from collapsing and never getting back up. “Sorry I bothered you, Gage. Thanks for taking care of me. I’ll see you later.”

“What? Where are you going?”

My eyes widened in surprise from the anger in his tone. “I’ll go to Jackie’s until I can get my own place.” I stopped walking and stood there still as stone when Gage’s sweatpants fell off me and straight to the floor. Let’s just add on one more thing to be humiliated about when it came to Gage. At least his sweatshirt was big enough that it still covered everything important. I flushed when I realized he’d already seen everything last night. “Can I please use your phone so I can call her? Or Ethan,” I asked through clenched teeth.

“Cassidy, why are you leaving?”

“Because I shouldn’t have come here in the first place! Obviously it was a bad idea.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” His voice softened drastically and he reached out to grab my hand to pull me back to the bed, coughing out a laugh when I tripped out of his sweatpants. “Sorry, that’s the warmest clothing I had for you last night.”

I just nodded and turned my head so he wouldn’t see my blush.

“Hey.” He put his fingers under my chin and turned my head so I was looking into his dark green eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you; you just scared the crap out of me last night. I was seconds from calling an ambulance. I probably should have but I was too focused on warming you up.”

That
just made my blush get about ten times worse.
Oh my God, I can’t believe I was in a shower with Gage. Not that I was able to enjoy one second of it or even realize at the time what was really happening.
“Gage,” I began after a few silent moments, “was she still there when you got there last night?” I almost told him not to answer that, but then his face morphed into one of pity and I no longer needed him to. “I’m kind of tired,” I said, quickly changing the subject, “is it okay if I go back to sleep for a bit before I call Jackie?”

“You can go back to sleep; you need to rest as much as possible after last night. But I want you to stay here, Cass. Adam and I brought most of your stuff over last night. You don’t have to, but you’re more than welcome to live here. As long as you want.”

Live with Gage again? But he hated having me with him last time. “I appreciate what you’re doing, Gage, but you don’t owe me anything. And I don’t want you to give me a place to stay because you feel sorry for me.”

“That’s not it at all. I want you here—honestly I’d rather have you here than anyone.”

I doubted that. But the idea of being this close to Gage again had my stomach fluttering. I realized I still hadn’t said anything when he stood up and walked over to me.

“Just think about it.” His raspy voice got even deeper. “But go back to sleep now, darlin’. I’m gonna go for my run. I’ll check on you when I get back.” His hand brushed across my forehead once I was under the comforter and he frowned. “Are you hot?”

“No, actually I’m still kind of cold. Can you throw me your sweats?”

Gage cursed under his breath and headed out the door, tossing me his sweats on his way out. Before I could try to pull them back on he’d returned with the comforter from his bed. “Here you go.” He brushed his hand across my forehead again and down my left cheek. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Have fun,” I mumbled as I curled into a tight ball. I didn’t even have the strength to try to put the sweats back on.

G
AGE

I
HADN’T EVEN
gotten down the driveway when I ran back inside and grabbed my keys. I couldn’t run. Not right now when I was worrying about her so much. As soon as I was in the truck, I called my mom. Yeah . . . I know. I was that desperate.

“Why doesn’t it surprise me that you’re already awake? It’s your last day before school starts back up; you should be sleeping in.”

“Hello to you too, Mama.”

“How’s my boy?”

“All right. Hey, Ma, I need your help on something. Cassidy’s burning up, and I don’t know what I should do. I’m on my way to get a thermometer, but is there anything I should buy . . . like food, drinks, or medicine?”

“Cassidy?” She couldn’t hide her surprise in that one word. “Shouldn’t Tyler be helping her if she isn’t feeling well?”

“Uh . . . long story short?”

“Sure.” She sighed, letting me know I’d have to give her the full version later.

“He brought home another girl and kicked Cassidy out last night.”

“He what?! Are you sure?”

“Ma, yes. I’m sure. I even asked him myself. But that’s not the worst part. He locked her out without her phone or keys or anything and she ended up walking to my place. It was sleeting really bad and she was in her pajamas; she didn’t have a jacket or anything.”

“Oh, that poor girl. Is she okay? You said she’s burning up?”

“Yeah.” I blew out a deep breath and tapped my thumb on the steering wheel furiously until the light turned green again. “She’s in sweats and I cranked the heater up really high last night. She said she’s cold but she’s bright red and really, really hot.”

“Just get the thermometer for now, and some NyQuil. Call me back after you’ve taken her temperature.”

“All right, thanks, Mama, love you.”

“I love you too. Bye-bye now.”

I ran into the drugstore and got the most expensive thermometer I could find and a few bottles of NyQuil before heading back to the house. I’d only been away from Cassidy for maybe twenty-five minutes, and there was no doubt she was worse than when I’d left. I could feel the heat emanating from her skin and she was shaking again.

“Cass, wake up, let’s take your temp.”

She groaned and pulled both comforters up to her cheeks.

I continued trying to wake her up while I tore open the box. She finally nodded when I showed her the thermometer and I slipped it into her mouth. While I waited, I touched her cheeks and forehead and had to stifle the urge to yell at the damn thing to hurry up. I’m pretty sure the people who made the thing laughed at being able to torture people with the wait. Not able to sit there doing nothing, I called Mama again and told her about the changes. If I’d thought she was hot earlier, she was on fire now. Finally the stupid torture device from hell beeped and I gently but swiftly took it from Cassidy’s mouth.

“Shit, that’s high,” I breathed.

“Gage Michael Carson!”

It took me a second to realize what happened. “Sorry, ma’am, but it says one-oh-five-point-two. What should I do?”

“Take her to the hospital right now. If she stays at that temperature for too long she can start having seizures or go into a coma.”

What?!
“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Call me as soon as the doctor tells you anything, you hear me? I want to know immediately.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I hung up and scooped Cassidy in my arms; she’d already fallen back asleep and didn’t so much as move until after I already had her in the ER. And then it was only to start shaking uncontrollably, and I wished I would have thought to bring one of the comforters with me, or at the very least put the sweatpants back on her. I’d never had to take care of someone, and I felt like I was doing a fucking awesome job . . .

I
LOOKED UP
when I felt a hand on my back and smiled softly. “I really do appreciate you being here, Ma. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing.” I raked a hand through my hair and sighed when I looked back over to Cassidy, who was asleep in my bed. “Obviously.”

“Hush. You did everything you could.”

“If I would have just taken her as soon as she got here—”

“She would have had pneumonia either way, Gage. She was out in that weather without the right clothes and had wet hair. You can’t blame yourself. Tyler, on the other hand . . .”

“God, I want to punch him again.”

“For once,” she said with a sigh, “I wouldn’t try to stop you.”

Cassidy rolled over and I stopped breathing for a moment so I could listen to her soft, rhythmic breaths. She’d been back at my house for two days now after four days of monitoring in the hospital to make sure she was on the mend. Mama had left the cooking and cleaning at the ranch to my middle sister, Nikki, and had rushed to Austin as soon as I told her that the doctor said Cass had pneumonia. She refused to let me miss my classes, and if I couldn’t be sitting next to Cassidy, at least I felt better knowing Mama was there with her instead of Tyler. Who, by the way, had shown up at the hospital while I was in class and, after a verbal beating from my mom, left and had only tried to make contact by phone. Thankfully Cassidy hadn’t wanted to talk to him, not that I would have let him talk to her anyway.

Mama had been great though. She’d been cooking for us and taking care of Cass in a way only a mother could. I could see Cassidy didn’t handle being taken care of in that way very well at first, but with how weak she was, she didn’t have much of a choice and I knew she now loved having a mother figure looking after her for the first time in years. Mom was sleeping in the guest room, so naturally I put Cassidy in my room, and honestly I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Technically, I’d been sleeping on the bigger couch, but I always ended up sitting in a chair next to the bed so I could make sure her breathing stayed normal. Or at least, that’s what I’d been telling myself. Cassidy was the only one who believed that. That knowing smile Mama gave me every time she saw me in there let me know she wasn’t fooled; she knew I just wanted to be near her. There I went, being fucking creepy again.

“Come talk to me, Gage,” Mom whispered over her shoulder as she made her way out of my room.

I stood up and stretched before bending over the bed and pressing my lips to Cassidy’s forehead. She looked and felt so much better, I had no doubt she’d be trying to get out of the bed and back to work on Monday. I choked on a laugh on my way out to the kitchen, thinking about how cute Cassidy got when she tried to get her way, but there was no way in hell I was letting her out of that bed for at least another week. “Yes, ma’am?”

“I just wanted to see how you’re doing with all of this.”

“I’m fine.” My brow furrowed. “Why?”

“I meant, how are you with Cassidy being here? After they visited this summer, and over winter break, you were just so . . . I don’t know. Heartbroken? And now she’s here after there was trouble between her and Tyler. I just want to make sure you don’t get hurt again, son.”

“Yeah, I understand. I don’t know what to make of a lot of this. I was—
am
still messed up over the whole thing, but I can’t stop . . . I’m still in love with her.”

“I know you are.”

“I’ve tried getting over her, Mom”—Mama didn’t know exactly
how
I’d tried to get over Cassidy, but that was something that was better left unknown to anyone other than myself and the girls I had been with—“and I’ve tried to figure out why she would do certain things . . . there has to be something I’m missing. Cassidy’s not the type of girl to purposefully hurt someone, and if I didn’t know her as well as I do, I wouldn’t see that she was hurt too. For some reason, I found myself apologizing to her after I got back this summer. She was so mad that I left, and even though she tried to hide it, I knew she was upset. And then . . . I don’t know. Maybe I’m just making myself think all this is happenin’.”

“Well, I’m not so sure about that. You only have to be in the room with the two of you to know there’s something there. She looks at you like—well, anyway. Just be careful. Whether she’s doing it on purpose or not, you’ve been hurt by her too many times already.”

Not like I needed that reminder. But she was right. I knew if I kept reading too much into her running to me, something would bring me crashing back down to reality and I’d end up even more pissed off than the last few times that had happened.

She began to say something, then hesitated and opened the fridge and freezer to browse.

“Might as well just say it, Mama.”

“Are you sure it’s the best idea to have her living here with you? Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart, I absolutely adore that girl. But with all that’s happened, you really think you should be doing this?”

“Yes.” I didn’t even hesitate. “I’m sure and I do.”

“All right.” She raised her hands, palms facing me. “All right, I got you. Just making sure,” she added with a wink.

Chapter Ten

C
ASSIDY

I
WAS JUST
rinsing out my mug in the sink when there was a hard knock on the door. It was only six thirty in the morning, for crying out loud; who was crazy enough to go around waking people up this early? Not that we weren’t awake. Gage had come to check on me before he left for his run not long ago and I hadn’t been able to go back to sleep. I tiptoed over to the door and looked out the peephole.

“What the hell?”

He knocked again, and even though I was watching him, the loud sound made me jump back.

“What do you want, Ty?” I practically growled as I swung open the door but stood in the doorway so he couldn’t come in.

“God, Cassi, I’ve been going out of my mind. How are you? Are you feeling okay?” He reached his hand out toward my face and I smacked it away.

“I’m fine. Why are you here?”

“Baby, I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. Please let me in so we can talk about what happened.”

“There’s not much to talk about. You brought a girl home to screw because I wouldn’t. That about covers it all, don’t you think?”

“I—” He ran both hands through his hair and pulled them out hard, leaving his hair sticking up in all directions. If I hadn’t been so upset from seeing him again, I might have laughed. “I fucked up! I’m sorry, I was wasted and pissed because of what you called me—not that that’s an excuse, I know you had been asleep, I just wasn’t thinking. I mean, I was . . . but—”

“Wow . . . this is already starting off so well. You were wasted, you weren’t thinking, you
were
thinking. You know, you seemed pretty coherent to me.”

“Cassi—”

“No, I need you to go.”

“Can we please just talk about this? I’m
sorry,
Cassi.”

I put my hand on the door and started to step back. “I would say I’m sorry too, but I can’t, Ty. I’ll never be sorry for not giving you my virginity, especially when it made me realize what kind of guy you really are.”

“I’m not that guy!”

“Are you serious right now? Ty, you
are
that guy. I wasn’t ready and you kept pushing me. When I wouldn’t budge, you not only found someone else, you made it a point to insult me in front of her and then kick me out of our place.” I began shutting the door but he put a hand out to stop me. “I thought you did a pretty good job of saying this, but it seems we aren’t on the same page. So let me try. We’re over, Tyler.”

“Cassi, please! I’ll wait as long as you need! Cara was a mistake.”

My body was shaking and I was dangerously close to crying. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. Saying good-bye to my Tyler. I was literally seconds from giving in and rushing into his arms and begging him to make this better, the way he always had. I wanted what we had before, before I made the mistake of agreeing to turn our friendship into something more. But that was gone now. “It’s too little, way too late, Ty.”

“Babe,” he pleaded, and his eyes took on a strange heat as I began closing the door farther. Before I realized what he was doing, one arm was wrapped around my waist, the other hand curled around the back of my neck, and his lips were hard against mine.

I struggled so roughly against him that when Gage suddenly appeared behind him and pulled Tyler from me I landed hard on my butt with a low “
Oomph.
”

“You okay?” Gage asked. His bright green eyes were fixed on me and he was still trying to catch his breath from his run. Even in the situation I couldn’t help but admire his amazing body. His long-sleeved shirt was soaked and clinging to his chest and abs, and his loose mesh shorts showed his tight . . . calves.

“Yeah.” I nodded and pulled myself up. “Fine.”

One hand reached out and slid down my arm until it wrapped around my hand, and his eyes roamed over my face for a few seconds before he spoke again. “Go get back in bed, Cass, I’ll be in to check on you in a minute.”

“
This
is why you won’t talk to me? You and him?! How long has this been going on?”

My eyes went wide when I looked over at Tyler. Was he serious? He knew better than anyone how Gage felt about me, or—didn’t feel about me. “Ty—”

Gage pulled me so I was somewhat hidden behind his back. “Don’t even try throwing this onto her for something that isn’t even happening. You messed up. Your actions are what brought her here to me. You’re the reason y’all are no longer together.”

“I told you from day one, man, I
told
you to stay away.”

Before I could ask what Tyler meant by that, he was stepping up so he was chest to chest with his cousin, and I knew this was going to escalate quickly. “Tyler, just go,” I demanded as I pulled on Gage’s arm to move him back toward the entryway; his hands clenched into fists and I swear his body started vibrating. “Gage, come on. Let’s go inside.”
Please, please, please don’t fight.
I honestly couldn’t stand to watch anyone throw a punch, and Tyler knew that. I knew he wanted Gage to be the one to start it, because he figured it would freak me out enough to make me want to leave. “This is what he wants, please just shut the door.”

“What?” Tyler taunted. “Too good to hit me this time?”

I froze. Gage had hit him?

“For all the shit you’ve put her through, you deserved it and more.”

“What are you waiting for? I’m standing right here.”

Gage gently pushed me farther back and straightened up to look down at Tyler. “Darlin’, go into your bedroom.”

I watched Tyler’s smirk grow into a wide smile; he’d hinted at Gage’s temper before, but he knew I’d never seen it . . . and I didn’t want to. My body was shaking, and though I felt like I was nailed to the floor, I forced my feet to move and stepped right in between them, facing Gage but keeping my head down so I wouldn’t see the way he was looking at Tyler; his stance was telling me all I needed to know.

“Darlin’.”

“Please.” My voice was soft and shaky as I made myself reach out and grab his clenched fist. I ground my jaw as I held it and tried to stop how my body was violently shaking. Seeing this side of Gage would change everything; I couldn’t let him do this. “Just don’t.”

Gage’s body tightened before he hunched down, his hand going under my chin to tilt my head up. I had squeezed my eyes shut and they slowly opened when I heard his soft voice. “Cass.” His green eyes were wide as they looked all over my face.

“Please,” I whispered again, and he nodded. The hand not holding my chin relaxed and squeezed mine as he moved us away from Tyler.

“You need to go. Don’t show up here without an invite first, you got me?”

“Cassi—” Tyler began, but Gage shut the door and flipped both locks before wrapping his arms around me.

“I’m sorry.”

“Gage, I don’t want what’s happening between me and Tyler to ruin your relationship. You’re family. Maybe I should go—”

“Nope. You’re staying here. I don’t care if he’s family—hell, I’ve already dropped too many things he’s done because we’re family. But not this, not the way he treated you.”

“But—”

“We’ll be fine, Cassidy. He’s being a dumbass, I’m allowed to not want to see him.”

I just nodded my head.

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry I scared you.”

“I’m fine, I just—I’m fine.”

His hand trailed soothingly up and down my back. “I’d never hurt you.”

“I know that, Gage,” I said on a sigh. He wouldn’t hurt me, but he didn’t understand I couldn’t see him hurt anyone else either.

G
AGE

T
HINGS WERE NEAR
perfect over the next few weeks. Cassidy had gone back to work the Monday after Tyler showed up, and he hadn’t bothered her since. I still saw him at school, and we were back on for going to breakfast Saturday mornings, but even though things were getting back to normal, they were still strained. I was taking Cassidy to and from work, and failing at helping her in the kitchen at night, but damn if it wasn’t one of my favorite times with her.

All the guys came over to my place for her cooking about once a week and I was glad it was less than what they’d been doing at Ty’s. I knew I was being selfish, but I loved our time together, and having a bunch of people over just got in the way of that. When it was just us, we’d curl up on the main couch and she’d watch TV while I did homework, and more often than not, I got to carry her to bed at night. If others were over, she always kept at least a foot between us, and even though it was small, I hated any distance from her. We didn’t touch a lot, but knowing I couldn’t put my arms around her sucked. Like now. We’d gone out to grab dinner with a bunch of our friends, and even though she was in the seat next to me, there might as well have been a damn table between us.

“Yo, Gage.”

“Hmm?” I reluctantly tore my gaze from Cassidy to look at Grant and throw back the chip he’d thrown at me.

“Shit, I thought you’d gone deaf for a minute.”

“I was distracted. What?”

“I bet you were.” Adam and Jake laughed next to him and Grant pointedly looked at Cassidy. My foot shot out and connected with his leg when his look turned hungry. Grant grunted and fixed his eyes back on me. “Guys’ night tomorrow, you in?”

“Yeah, sure.” Cassidy laughed at something Jackie said and like an addict drawn to heroin, I couldn’t help but look over to watch her. My first observation still held true; it sounded like damn angels when she laughed.

Ethan looked past Jackie and Cassidy. “You’re going tomorrow?” When I nodded he continued. “All right, as long as I don’t have to be the only one to deal with their drunk asses at the end of the night, I’m in too.”

Cassidy laughed softly and turned to look at me with a smile that had me fighting not to lean over and kiss her there in front of everyone. Wait, tomorrow? Tomorrow was Saturday. “Ah, never mind, sorry, I forgot what tomorrow was. I can’t go.”

“What?” Jake and Grant said at the same time, and Grant continued. “No. Guys’ night. Which means both of y’all need to be there.”

“Sorry.” I shrugged; I was anything but sorry. “Tomorrow’s Saturday, I already have plans.”

“Bro. Two words.
Guys’. Night.
” Grant looked at me like I was missing the hidden meaning and losing my damn mind.

I knew what guys’ night entailed, but until a few months ago when I realized that Cassidy and Tyler were really together, I hadn’t cared for guys’ night much. And was kind of relieved I had a legit excuse to not go now. “I have a date. Sorry.”

Adam stopped kissing Dana’s neck and looked at me with one brow raised and shot a quick glance to Cass, then back to me, and shook his head. He knew about all the girls I’d been with at the end of last year, why I’d been with them, and how I felt about Cass. I’d spilled everything in my truck on the way back from punching Tyler that night. It was obvious he thought I was going out with some random girl; I’d have to clue him in that my date was with Cassidy. I turned to say Ethan was on his own but stopped when I saw Cassidy’s stiff posture. Her face was completely blank. If it weren’t for Jackie shooting daggers at me, I would have thought Tyler had shown up. Even still, I looked around me and couldn’t figure out why Cassidy’s mask would be back. Didn’t she want to have our Saturday night together? We’d started watching movies every Saturday night when I lived with her and Tyler, and we’d easily fallen into the same routine since she’d moved in with me. Maybe she’d made plans with Jackie, and that’s why Jackie was looking at me like she was about to go psycho firecracker on me.

My confusion only intensified, and by the time Cassidy got back from getting groceries with Jackie the next day, I was completely dumbfounded. She hadn’t said a word the entire way back to our place last night, hadn’t gotten up for our morning hug before or after my run that morning. And I cut breakfast with Ty short so I could be home when she got back. She still didn’t say anything and kept taking the groceries I was trying to help put away out of my hands and doing it herself. After
she
finished putting everything away, she walked into her room and shut the door.

I finished the rest of the homework I had for the weekend and decided to order pizza so she wouldn’t have to cook that night. After hanging up the phone, I walked over to her room and knocked on the door.

“Yeah?”

I turned the knob and pushed open the door, worrying when I saw her curled up in bed. “You feeling okay, darlin’?”

She sighed and turned so she was facing me. “What’s up, Gage?”

“Uh—I ordered a pizza.” It sounded more like a question, but I was so damn confused I didn’t know what to say or do anymore.

“Thanks, but I’m pretty sure I can fend for myself when you’re out. I’ve been known to get in the kitchen every now and then.”

Man, with that tone, she’d skipped snarky and gone straight California bitch on me. “Um . . . I’m not going out.”

Her eyebrows shot straight up and she mashed her mouth together tightly before forcing a smile that looked pained. “So your date’s coming here. Did you want me to leave?”

“Cass, seriously? It’s Saturday.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So . . . ? It’s movie night.”

“Wow, um . . .” She shook her head slightly and her whiskey eyes got even wider. “I’m sorry, but I’d rather not be watching movies with you and your date.”

Holy shit, she really thought I had a date with someone other than her? I knew this wasn’t exactly a date, and she lived with me, but these were
my
nights with her. She had to know I wasn’t about to let someone come between us and our night together, much less another girl. I mean honestly, it’s not like I was subtle with everything I felt about her. I was pretty damn pathetic when it came to Cassidy; anything involving her and I was there with a smile on my face. Not that I cared; I was in love with the girl, and everyone knew it even if I hadn’t told them. Shit, even the guys last night were talking about how I couldn’t stop looking at her, and she’d been right there. “Darlin’,” I said softly, “you are out of your damn mind if you think I have a date with some chick tonight.”