From My Heart (14 page)

Over the course of another week, Cale and I were falling into a comfortable routine. He would usually wake up before me and have a coffee waiting for me as soon as I woke up; we’d pretty much stay by each other’s sides unless he was playing video games with the boys. Then pre-show his hand was glued on the small of my back, and after the show we held hands until we both fell asleep. A little cheesy, I know. I’d only dated Ethan before Cale, but this felt way different. Cale actually loved me. At least I thought so.

But there were moments when I would see him flip out towards one of the guys, mainly Tyler, and then he’d storm into the bathroom, come out and seem magically all better. It made no sense to me, but I tried to push it out of my mind as best as I could. He acted that way when I first met him so I guessed nothing had changed. But it still scared me a little bit when I’d see him throw random objects on the bus or in the dressing room.

“Don’t bitch at me for it!” I heard Tyler confront Cale as I was changing my clothes for the day. “I didn’t do shit and you know it.”

“Are you sure about that?” Cale spat, “Then why is the rest of the fucking Mountain Dew out of the refrigerator when we just bought some yesterday before the show?”

I rolled my eyes, slipping on a pair of socks so I could see what the hell was going on.

“We have how many people on this bus?” Tyler asked. “If my numbers are right, that means there are nine people on here at all times. Why are you freaking out?”

Cale slammed a fist into the wall and I jumped back, startled by his actions. What was going on with him to overreact to something so little and not important.

Without noticing me watching them, Cale kept his head down, punched his other fist into the wall and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

“Is there something wrong with him?” Gina asked me as we were sitting on the couch on the bus next to Raptor and Vince.

“He’s been acting like that for a long time,” Vince replied casually, exchanging looks with Raptor. “Mood swings like a mother fucker, but that’s just Cale. Don’t let his tantrums and shit scare you.” He directed the words towards Gina and Bethany.

Cale reappeared out of the bathroom just as we were arriving at our next venue in New Orleans. We didn’t stop there last tour so I was glad we had a day break after tonight’s show so we could stay behind and check out the sights. Or mainly eat the food and gain a bunch of weight.

He wiped the sweat off his face with a hand towel, throwing it to the side. “Are we there yet?” he asked with a snippy attitude.

“Yeah, idiot we’re pulling up to New Orleans as we speak,” Raptor replied with a frustrated look on his face. “Maybe if you weren’t in the bathroom getting over your little ‘chick fit’ you would have seen that we’re in the city.”

“Whatever.” Cale threw his hands up and walked away. Luke and Tyler were still sleeping so I was careful not to wake them up as I followed Cale into the back of the bus.

He turned around, finally noticing I was there.

“Are you going to start giving me shit too?” Cale asked with a despicable look in his eye.

“The hell is your problem?” I asked furiously. “I was trying to see if I could help you, not pester you.” My hands were shaking from anger. I gripped the wall with one hand, hoping to calm myself down, but nothing was helping right.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t sleep worth a shit last night.” Cale groaned, running a hand through his brown hair and trying to give me his sad eyes.

“You’re lying,” I said. “You have been saying that after every little episode, Cale. You can’t keep making up excuses! And I can’t keep running back to you and trying to make sense of this. This past week, despite us hardly being apart, has driven me crazy, Cale. You need to figure out why you’re acting like this and actually tell me and your
brothers
the truth.”

“I
am
telling you the truth,” he spat back. “Can you ever just believe me, Bryn?”

“Okay, you really need to shut up, Pelton,” Tyler interjected. “Before I kick your ass for waking me up.” He jumped down from his bunk. He had only been wearing a pair of Adidas running pants and nothing else, his tattooed chest on full display.
Don’t look, Bryn,
I had to repeat to myself until I managed to turn my head back to Cale, whose face was red with fury.

“I didn’t wake you up, Tyler so you can back off,” Cale replied, heading in Tyler’s direction a few feet away.

“Well I won’t back off when I hear you talking like that towards your bandmate who
just
so happens to be your girlfriend. You honestly think it is okay to talk to Bryn like the self-centered dick that you are?” Tyler shot Cale a look like he wanted to punch him in the face.

“Oh okay I get it,
I’m
the self-centered dick now? Who was it back last year when you fucked my ex-girlfriend?”

“She wasn’t happy with you! You had the same problems then as you do now and she couldn’t take it!” Tyler shouted. “And why are you even dragging it out? I thought we got past that…”

“I’m not dragging anything out. And I wasn’t talking to Bryn like that.”

I tried taking a step back and letting them deal with their issues themselves, but Tyler lightly squeezed my elbow.

“You don’t need to put up with his anger issues,” he whispered, giving me a sympathetic smile.

“Both of you just need to stop,” I scolded them. “Tyler’s right. You can’t just treat me however you please, Cale. I’m not going to put up with it. I love you, but I can only take so much. Right now, yeah you are acting like an ass and I’ll tell you that straight from my heart.” Then I turned to Tyler. “Don’t instigate anything, please. I don’t think anyone wants a bus full of tension since we still have a ways to go.” Cale still had a scowl on his face, while I was fuming mad and wanted to call him out on his anger.

Tyler nodded in agreement. The way his eyes met mine was exactly the way it happened the night Kallie and Cale kissed onstage. When I kissed Tyler. He placed a hand up to his chest and said, “Scouts honor, Bryn.” Then he chuckled and walked away without even sparing Cale any chance to talk.

Cale put his hands on my shoulders and tried to get me to come closer. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’m seriously sorry. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

I pulled him into me, my hands wrapping around his neck so I could get a good view of his amber eyes. “Just let me in,” I said softly. “Just tell me why you have those mood swings. Maybe I could help you somehow. You just have to let me in.”

“I wish I could tell you, Bryn.” He inhaled a sharp breath. “But this is something big that I have to deal with on my own. I don’t know what else I can do besides try. But just have faith in me, okay?”

His eyes were full of sincerity. I wasn’t sure what was going on inside his mind, but I wanted to dig deeper and see if maybe any of the other guys knew what Cale’s deal was.

“Okay. I promise,” I whispered, meaning what I said.

***

We arrived at the venue in New Orleans and I could still feel the tension between Cale and Tyler as we got the equipment off loaded and inside.

“Have you seen Tyler without a shirt?” Bethany asked as we hung out in the dressing room. “Holy mother of Hell he is gorgeous.”

“What about Luke?” I asked with a grin, trying to avoid the whole Tyler topic in general. Yes, I had to admit he did look good without a shirt. He had just the right amount of muscle to make a girl weak in the knees.

“Well duh. I like him, silly. He’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, and plus he plays a musical instrument. To me that’s a complete turn on. But I’m just saying you could’ve dated
him
as opposed to his younger cousin for all that time…” Bethany said, bringing up Ethan’s. I hadn’t thought about him nor wanted to in a long time. Last time I saw him was during our final show in Detroit and we agreed to be friends, but nothing more ever came from it. Which was fine with me.

“Nooo. Bethany, let’s just drop it, please.” I didn’t want to talk about either Donahue. “I love Cale. Tyler has just become a close friend. That’s
all
.”

Gina licked her lips. “A close friend who seemed like he was willing to get beat up for you. I heard him and Cale going at it and he seemed pretty defensive of you.”

“That’s what friends do,” I replied. “Cale apologized so I don’t even know why we’re still talking about this in the first place.”

Bethany was the first to stand up. “You’re right, bestie. We’re going to have another fun night, and
you
are going to kill it on stage like you always do.”

We all embraced in a group hug and just as we let go the guys walked in with alcohol.

“Okay….are you trying to fall off the stage or something?” I asked them jokingly as they set everything down on a makeshift table.

“What are you even talking about, Bryn?” Vince said, pouring a cup of liquid and chugging it down. “It’s called liquid courage! You’ve seen us do this before, hell you’ve drank
with
us before.”

“Let her be,” Tyler stopped Vince. “She and her friends don’t have to drink with us.”

“I was only messing with her. Don’t get your panties in a bunch. You’re almost as protective of B as Pelton is.” Vince grinned, patting Tyler’s shoulder.

Cale strode towards me, hands on either side of my waist. “Don’t worry I haven’t drank yet,” he murmured into my ear, his breath lingering on my skin. “I’m waiting until afterwards.”

“Uh huh, Mr. Hot Shot.” I kissed the dimple in the spot where his lips rose into a smile. “I love you, but I’m not partaking in any drunken festivities, especially with you. I’ll stick with water.”

“Your choice.” Cale shook his head in disagreement. “More for me.” I rolled my eyes and laughed at how he was acting.

***

We played through our set as smooth as ever. New Orleans fans knew how to make us feel welcome. A few people even had signs with my nickname “Queen B” on it, which made me giddy inside. I mean how could you get used to seeing things like that every day? I wanted to ask someone to pinch me because obviously this was an extremely good dream.

With the seven string Cale bought me strapped around my neck, I had the whole world in my hands. My fingers slid along the brand new strings as if I had been playing his instrument my whole life. It was a great escape to say the least, to play the notes and just let the music take over. We started to play “You Were Young” and being our new single, everyone went nuts, pulling out lighters by the dozen. This was also one of my favorite songs to play on stage and the story behind Cale writing it was beautiful to me.

You were young

So in denial of the truth

That we never could make things work

Although I told you a thousand times

As I sang in harmony with Cale, we locked eyes and a smile formed on his lips as he ran back to grab a water from in front of Tyler’s drum set. I could play this guitar all day just so I could listen to that man sing like he did and command the stage like a rock god (or so he’d like to think). His growing brown hair that needed a cut was glued to his sweaty neck as he jumped off the stage and threw his empty water bottle into the crowd.  After a bunch of barely clothed girls tried to grab onto him, Vince helped him back up, patting him on the back and finishing out “You Were Young,” adding in an extra guitar solo I decided to play at the last minute.

“Thank you, New Orleans we’re Everlasting!” Cale growled into the mic. “Be sure to pick up our new record.  Next is our good friends, Angels from Hell!” Cale followed me off stage, his hand on my upper back and the other swaying freely beside him.

We high-fived each other as Raptor and Hal went out to disassemble the drum kit and other equipment.

“I keep saying this is the best show we’ve ever played but I really believe we fucking killed it tonight!” Cale hollered, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead. “Liked that solo you did, Queen B.” He turned to me and I started grinning.

“I know, right? Nice touch,” I replied, sounding cocky. “But don’t call me Queen B. Only the fans can call me that.”

Cale cocked his head to the side. “Well I’m a fan so that counts!”

“Jeez, Mr. Argumentative.”

“It just adds fuel to the fire,” Vince said as he stood beside me. “You’ve learned by now he likes to argue and have his way about everything.”

“Very true,” I agreed.

We all went back to the dressing room before heading out to the bus. The guys were mostly drinking and Gina and Bethany were once again attached to Raptor and Luke. I saw I had a voicemail on my phone, so I went outside to see who called.

“Bryn Michelle. On behalf of your father and me, we want you to come home. Our behavior previously in regards to our son—your brother—was inexcusable, nor did we think he would do such a thing to hurt you. We told him to bring you home at any cost, but that only distanced yourself further from your only family. I know you’re probably wondering how we even got a hold of him after he had left. But just…all we’re asking is please call. I don’t agree with what you’re doing…this lifestyle, but I don’t want to lose our family. We love you.”