Frozen Hearts (7 page)

We didn't close our eyes. I think we both needed to be sure this was really happening. My hands slid into his hair. Curls I thought I would never touch again, slipped through my fingers. Lips I thought I would never kiss glided across my mouth. I nuzzled into his throat, searching for that spot on his neck, close to his ear, that if I licked a few times he would be squirming and panting, begging for more. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face when he wiggled and moaned after a few nibbles. But what excited me the most was the possibility of discovering all the new things about him.

His hands settled on my hips and he slowly started walking me backward to the bed. The backs of my knees hit the edge of my mattress and buckled, sending me down to the bed with Tyce on top of me.

"Is this okay," he asked.

"Yes," I whimpered. How could it not be okay? He fit perfectly against me. I wanted to scream that I was home and I never wanted to leave again. My body remembered him, reacting quickly to the heat of his skin and the familiar scent that had always been just Tyce.

My legs automatically spread as he nestled his hips in between, pushing against me. His hard cock rubbed over mine and my eyes almost rolled back in my head, but I fought to keep them open and focused on him.

He laced his fingers with mine, pinning my hands to the bed. Warm, wet lips licked a gentle path across my collarbone and up my throat until our mouths connected. He groaned and started a slow grinding rhythm that was going to be the death of me. His hands slipped out of my grip as he rose up, hovering over me. The beautiful friction disappeared and I mourned the loss. His blue eyes burned into my soul and I didn't dare move. The seconds turned to minutes, which dissolved into hours. I didn't know what to do or what he meant to do with me trapped beneath him.

"Tyce," I whimpered. "We should talk."

"Shut up, Erik. Just let me look at you for a second. I've waited five fucking years to touch you again. We can talk after," Tyce growled.

"Right, just checking."

He rested his forehead against mine with his blown pupils inches away. I sucked in a breath of air as I felt his hand sneak between us, sliding under the waistband of my pants. When his fingers wrapped around my cock, my mouth fell open in a soundless scream. Black spots blurred my vision as I tried to keep my eyes on him. His hips circled in time as he milked my cock, drawing me closer and closer to release. I wanted to delay it, wanted it to last forever because if I gave in, he might disappear again.

"Let go, baby," he whispered as his breath fanned across my face. My cock jerked in his hand and he quickly lowered his mouth, capturing my moan as I came all over his hand.

Tyce sped his hips up, rutting harder against my sensitive cock. I was lost in him. For a few moments, I felt five years of hurt, regret, and pain lifted from my shoulders when I watched his mouth open and heard a soft groan fall from his lips as he shuddered, coming undone above me.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him tight against my body so I could feel him. I wanted to say so much, but I didn't have any words so I settled on holding him, trying to convey through my touch how much I had missed him. I pressed soft kisses against his lips as he gasped for air.

"I need another shower," Tyce said. "And different pants."

He looked at his hand and grimaced when my cooling cum dripped down his wrist.

"Sorry about that," I said sheepishly.

"No you're not," he laughed and wiped it on my sheets.

"You are so changing the bedding," I said and flipped him over, staring at him like he was a lost treasure. "You're beautiful." The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them and I waited for him to shove me away or dismiss them. Tyce remained quiet and touched one of the bruises on my cheek.

"You're a mess," he said.

"Have been for years," I said. Tyce sighed and I figured that was my cue to climb off him. I rolled to my back, pleasantly surprised when Tyce moved with me and leaned into my side.

"I know we need to talk, but I can't do it with cum-filled pants. It's really uncomfortable."

"Go take another shower. I'll round up some more clean clothes," I said. "I'm going to need to do laundry."

Tyce rested his head on my shoulder. His curls brushed against my cheek and I couldn't stop the sigh that escaped my lips. He laced his fingers with mine and I stared at our locked hands. Something unfurled in my chest and for the first time in five years, it didn't feel like there was an iron fist clutching my heart.

"Well, that was brutal," Arielle announced as she walked into my room, stopping dead as the door banged against my wall. She stared at our linked hands and I was pretty sure she could smell sex in the air.

"Forget how to knock?" Tyce asked.

"Uh, no…" Her brow furrowed and I think I could hear her brain trying to work out what she was looking at. Hell, I was still trying to work it out. The warmth of his hand was the only thing that was grounding me right now.

"Give us a minute or two," Tyce said. "We're going to clean up then I'll come talk to you."

She nodded and slowly backed out of my room, her stare lingering on our hands.

I held my breath again until Tyce collapsed against my chest laughing. "Guess we shut her up."

"I didn't know that was possible," I said.

"She's going to have a ton of questions," Tyce said. "But she was the one who orchestrated this meeting. What the fuck did she expect?"

"You expected this?"

"Well, no, but…" His voice softened and I could feel his muscles tense.

"Me too, Tyce," I said, hoping he understood.

We sat in silence, holding tightly to each other until neither of us could stand the mess or stench anymore. Tyce disappeared into the bathroom while I stripped off the bed and found us more clothes. My mountain of laundry was increasing hourly. Maybe I could con Arielle into cleaning my room because in a roundabout way, my dirty sheets were her fault.

The shower turned on and I lay back down on the bed, trying to process everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. A cyclone of thoughts spun through my brain, but it all came down to one thing. Tyce. Tyce was here and I wanted him to stay in my life and I knew I had to figure out a way to make that happen. I couldn't lose him again.

He smiled when he strolled out of the bathroom for a second time. I tossed some pants and shirt at him. He dressed and pointed at the bathroom.

"You kind of stink," he said.

He nodded as I walked by him. I didn't make it to the bathroom as I felt his fingers lightly grip my arm, making me stop. I didn't move until I felt his lips settle on my shoulder. Arielle took that moment to throw open the door again. She had terrible timing, but I relented and let her drag Tyce away from me. I gave her a look that said 'you can't keep him'. She gave me a tight smile and led him down the hall.

When Tyce came back into my room, his entire body was flushed. Arielle had a way with words. She could embarrass, harass, and shout at you, before you could defend, deny, or walk away from her.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"She's… Christ… You're next," he stammered.

"She'll get her opportunity," I said. "But not now. I would like to have a few moments with you."

Tyce kicked his shoes off and climbed on the bed.

"You know I have to ask," Tyce said quietly.

"Can I ask you something first?"

"Sure."

"Did you know about Marshy and Arielle?"

"Sort of," he said. "I knew she was dating someone on the sly but she wouldn't tell me who it was. I figured he had to be connected to you."

"She seems to have a lot of secrets."

"Don't we all," he said.

"Point. Okay, it's your turn, so ask away," I said as Tyce slipped his hand into mine. It felt familiar and foreign all at once.

"What changed, Erik?" Tyce asked. "Why now?"

"I have no idea how you ended up here?"

"No, I mean, the whole quitting hockey and shit."

"It's fucking weird, really," I said. "I mean, I haven't been truly happy for years. Not since, well, you know." I paused because it was a little much to admit out loud that my life had been shit for five fucking years because I left him. I could still feel his hand resting in mine, and it helped ease the pain that was squeezing my chest again.

"It's okay, Erik," Tyce whispered in my ear. It really wasn't but I was grateful for the kind words.

"Right. So the misery's been building and it all came to a head a few days before the first series in the playoffs. My dad made a strong suggestion to move forward with Rochelle, meaning I was supposed to ask her to marry me. It freaked me out, but I caved and we bought a ring. The thing made me crazy. I missed a practice and went to class instead. I don't have time to go to a lot of classes during hockey season, but I managed to sneak a few in here and there."

"Okay?" Tyce said, unsure of where this was all heading.

"It was in a history class and we had a guest speaker. He was there to talk to us about the harsh realities of war. He held the entire class in the palm of his hands as he talked of his experiences, his fears, and most of all, his regrets. It was so raw and open, like we were all with him on the battlefield and his struggle after the war ended.

"When the bell rang, he apologized for going over the time limit, telling us we could leave, but no one moved. He pushed the microphone away and stepped in front of the podium, looking at all of us in one sweeping motion. He told us not to take anything for granted, that time runs out on everyone. Don't let fear run your life. Do what makes you happy now, because in one second everything could be swept away from you. Sometimes we don't know what we have until it's long gone and we realize that there will never be anything as special as what we've left behind."

Tyce stared at me with glassy eyes. I had to look away.

"What we've left behind. Those fucking words haunted me for days, until I finally gave myself permission to think about them. I thought about a lot of things, but everything always returned to you. I'd kept it all locked away, hidden, for so long. I couldn't think about it because it drove me crazy. It snuck up on me every once in a while but with a few sentences this man managed to bring everything back and I realized that my happiness was in the past and if I didn't change now, my future was going to be dismal. The people around me didn't deserve to get dragged down into my misery and I didn't deserve it either. I needed to live my own life, make my own choices."

"Christ, Erik," Tyce breathed.

"It's not like I thought you would ever… I mean, I don't know what you want, if anything, from me and I don't blame you if, you know… Shit, I come with a ton of baggage and you just fell back into my life a few hours ago."

Tyce leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. "Quit talking," he murmured, leaning harder into the kiss. He rose up to his knees, pulling me with him as he clawed at my t-shirt. He whined and pushed me back on the bed, rolling on top of me.

"Oh God, Erik," he moaned.

"Tyce," I answered, raising my hips into him.

"Do you feel that," Tyce panted against my mouth.

"Yeah," I breathed. It wasn't just his hard cock pressed against my hip. It was everything from the way his body fit against mine, to the grip of his fingers on my skin as he held my hips. It was the pounding of our hearts, thumping in time and the burn of his scruff rubbing against my check. It was the heat flashing up and down my spine and the throb of my cock every time he sucked on my tongue. It was the sense that this was how it was supposed to be and my world was slowly setting itself right.

Tyce's phone beeped. "Fuck," he said as he rolled off me. "As much as I'd love to hang around and do this all day, I've really got to get home. I've got two papers due in the next three days, a test tomorrow, and my roommate keeps texting me, reminding me I've got class in an hour that I cannot miss."

I glanced over at the pile of books still sitting untouched on top of my desk. "Yeah, if I'm going to graduate, I guess I should start plowing through all this shit."

"I need a second to catch my breath," Tyce said as he limped to the bathroom. The faucet squeaked when Tyce turned it on. He splashed water on his face and groaned. Cold water was not going to help my problem. I needed to shove ice cubes down my pants.

We finally were able to both simmer down enough to walk without a pronounced wobble in our gait. As we headed toward the living room, I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to do. I yearned to hold his hand or beg him to stay, but I shoved my hands in my pockets and stared at the wall.

Arielle was curled up on the couch, with her legs pulled up to her chest tucked under Marshy's hockey sweater. I glanced at Tyce, remembering the pain in my chest when I sat alone in my new dorm room, lying face down on my bed thinking about him. My heart hurt for her.

"Hey, baby girl," Tyce said, stroking her hair. "Can I beg a ride from you? I need to get home. I have papers that need to be written and Sam will hunt me down if I don't make it to class."

Arielle gave him a blank look, but rose from the couch, grabbing her purse off the floor. She patted me on the arm, opened the front door, and walked out without uttering a word.

"I'll see you soon, right?" I asked, trying not to sound too desperate, but my voice cracked and gave away my insecurities.

"Guess we'll have to," Tyce said, smiling at me. "I have your clothes. I'm sure you want them back, right?"

"Oh," I breathed. I wanted more than my fucking clothes back in my room.

"Erik," he said, placing a hand on my arm. "It'll be okay. Text me or call me. I put my info in your phone when you were in the shower."

His blue eyes sparkled and he winked at me, making my entire body go warm. I marveled at the way he could so easily draw a reaction from me. In the last few years, not one person had even come close to getting me going as quickly as Tyce was doing. I hung out on the steps watching Tyce and Arielle climb into her car and drive away.