Full Circle (3 page)

The next two weeks were the most bitter-sweet Lily had ever known. Nick had escorted her home that night, even after the bus had finally come rumbling down the street covered in dust from the raid and barely illuminating the street before it. He boarded with her and Alice and insisted on seeing them home safely. Once they reached their door, Alice walked in giving them a moment of privacy to say goodnight. It was too late to ask him in, so they parted with a tender kiss and the promise of seeing each other the next day. Nicholas had asked to take her to dinner after work and Lily gladly accepted. She fell asleep replaying their kisses in her mind and looking forward to their date.

Rebecca stood clutching the pole on the Manhattan bound train and stared out of the grimy window splattered with rain. The weather was as bleak as her mood. Last night she had stayed at work until 11pm and this morning she was tired and cranky from lack of sleep, but mostly from dealing with her pedantic boss who made her re-type the same presentation ten times over until she was satisfied at last. She then had to make three hundred copies for the upcoming seminar on a copier that managed to jam roughly every fifty pages or so and required the assistance of professionals to resume spitting out copies. The only thing that lifted her spirits a little was Lily’s romance with Nick. She was looking forward to seeing what would happen next. Rebecca had gotten used to Lily’s presence in her dreams and her thoughts once she stopped thinking about the weirdness of the situation. She actually enjoyed her nightly forays into Lily’s world. It was certainly a lot more interesting than her own.

Working as an assistant account executive at Wilderman & Brooks advertising agency had seemed like a dream come true at first. Rebecca couldn’t believe that her first job out of college would be at such a glamorous and exciting firm. She was deeply impressed with their offices when she came for her first interview and even more in awe when she came back to meet with her potential boss. The splendor of her office was nothing compared to the fact that at a very young age (Rebecca estimated her to be in her early 30’s) Sarah Blake was a Senior VP at a major advertising house. Becky saw her as a real role model and hoped that she might follow in her footsteps with hard work and dedication. She did the dance of joy when offered the job and went on a night of debauchery with her friends to celebrate. Now, a year and a half later she couldn’t believe how naïve she had been.

Her “dream” job consisted of long hours, endless memos and reports and very little glamour. She was surrounded by catty, single women trying desperately to get ahead and even cattier, frequently gay men, who were temperamental, moody and vengeful. One unguarded comment or a resentful look could be the difference between a promotion to the creative department and the life of an administrative assistant for another year. The clients were even worse. On the rare occasions when she actually got to meet them, they were capricious, unreasonable and inflicted ridiculous deadlines on already over-worked and underpaid account executives. Rebecca supported six account execs, so she was the most over-worked and underpaid of them all.

The only thing she absolutely refused to give up were her Friday nights out with the girls. It was a rotating group of people. There was a core group who came every Friday and then there were the friends and boyfriends who frequently dropped by. They always went to The Wicked Monk or to the Mad Hatter and generally had a great time. Not knowing who would show up was part of the fun. Everyone would leave feeling much better about their unfulfilling jobs and practically non-existent love lives.

Part of Becky’s bad mood was the fact that she wasn’t sure what to do about her predicament. She had grown to hate her job and resent her boss who always seemed to put her down with a smile. Her demands were unreasonable and unfair and Rebecca hated to feel guilty about not coming in during the weekend. Why should she? She wasn’t paid to do it and no one appreciated it anyway. However, if you did not show your face and stay for a few hours on a Saturday, by Monday you were treated like a pariah. One of the things she hated even more than the expectation to give up her personal life was the little menial tasks she was expected to perform. Sarah would call her in and with an apologetic smile ask if Becky would be so kind as to run over to the deli four blocks away to get her a tuna-fish sandwich because the one in the cafeteria did not use solid white tuna. She was frequently sent to Barnes and Nobles, the cleaners and Starbucks to run little errands for the Queen Bee. All these expeditions took time away from her real work and she found herself staying later and later to complete all the paperwork that seemed to reproduce on her desk every time she looked away.

On a more realistic note Rebecca also knew that most of her friends who worked at entry level positions in other fields were equally unhappy. After getting a college degree and thinking they were actually worth something, most of them were treated more like gophers rather than the competent and intelligent young people they were. Emma was slaving away at a publishing house and Rachel worked as a paralegal for a hot-shot real estate attorney. None of them ever saw the light of day except on weekends and national holidays.

They complained to each other bitterly over endless cups of coffee, Chinese take-out and sushi, which they couldn’t really afford on their pittance of a salary. Rebecca had always dreamed of working in advertising so she was at a loss what to do next. Quitting was easy. Finding something better was hard. She thought of Lily and chuckled. Actually her job at the War Office was no better. It sounded glamorous, but in reality Lily typed just as many memos and reports as Rebecca and brought numerous cups of tea to her ill-tempered employer. “At least I don’t have to type on an antiquated typewriter,” Rebecca thought to herself. Having a PC on your desk certainly made life easier.

Rebecca got off at Rockefeller Center and headed to her office. It was terribly muggy and drizzling outside, one of those July days in New York when you are breathing, but not really taking in any air. The only thing she looked forward to on this day was taking a cold shower when she got home and finding out how Lily’s date with Nick went.

Rebecca couldn’t quite recall the last time she went on a date herself. That was partly because of her crazy work schedule and partly because she hadn’t met anyone who truly interested her since Georg. She met him in her junior year of college. He seemed to show up everywhere she was. At the time, Rebecca thought that was a coincidence, but it turned out that the coincidences were engineered by Georg himself who was determined to capture her attention. He was everything Rebecca never wanted, an Aryan looking scion of a wealthy family from Munich who came to the States on a running scholarship. He was the exact opposite of what a cerebral, Jewish girl from Brooklyn looked for in a boyfriend. She was flattered by his attention, however, especially since her giggling girlfriends referred to him as her “Adonis” and gradually began to spend time with him. For a jock, he turned out to be quiet brainy with a GPA significantly higher than her own. He was cute, funny and had heather colored eyes which seemed to darken whenever he was upset or angry. His ass wasn’t too shabby either. By their senior year of college they were inseparable and if one showed up, the other was expected to follow within seconds. They had great conversations, even better sex and absolutely no hope of a future.

Graduation was looming and so was Georg’s departure. He was planning to return home to Munich and join the family’s flourishing import/export business. Every time Rebecca thought of a future without him, her heart gave a very loud moan, but a future with him was unthinkable. Staying in New York was not an option for him and going to Germany was not one for her. Rebecca had always believed that love could conquer all, but she wasn’t sure if that applied to a trans-Atlantic move to a country that was singularly responsible for the deaths of so many Jews. Georg’s family would always see her as the black sheep who stayed at home during church services and she would always wonder what his grandparents were doing while millions of Jews were being led to the ovens. Rebecca couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her parents, her friends and her beloved country. Going with Georg would turn her into something neither of them liked. In the end it would only make them resent each other and would end badly.

Georg had a plane ticket for the Friday after graduation. He started packing as soon as finals were over and his apartment was slowly starting to get that lonely look of a place that’s no longer a home. They went to their favorite place for dinner the night before graduation. They both knew that it was probably the last time they would see each other alone. He half-heartedly asked her again to come with him and she whole-heartedly refused. Rebecca knew that he was relieved by her decision. This way he could always tell himself that she was the one who ended it, not him. He had no choice. When they made love that night it had a bitter-sweet quality, which made it all the more poignant.

When morning came they put on their graduation robes and took the train to Midtown. Their graduation ceremony was held at the Paramount Theater at Madison Square Garden where they met Rebecca’s friends and all the parents and went in. The ceremony was long and boring and at the end they all filed out of the theater relieved to finally have it done with. Everyone was going to lunch, but Georg said that he wouldn’t be joining them. He lifted Rebecca’s face with his finger and kissed her softly. “Goodbye, my little Becky,” he said. There were tears in his eyes as he walked away from her. They never saw each other again. He called her once more before he left just to hear her voice and then, silence. Rebecca had asked him not to write, call or e-mail her. She needed a clean break and an opportunity to forget him and move on. A year and a half later she was still working on both.

Lily made a valiant attempt to concentrate on her work, but she failed miserably and rushed to submit her work to Mr. Pinkerton, who was now her boss since Polly died, on the stroke of five. He was a weasel of a man and had a nose for other peoples’ weaknesses. He could see Lily’s eagerness to leave, so he took a particularly long time cleaning his already spotless spectacles and then preceded to examine the report page by page until she thought she would jump out of her skin or better yet, strangle him with his ugly tie. Finally, he gave her a curt nod and she raced back to her station to collect her purse and umbrella before literally catapulting out the door only to collide with Alan from Accounting who fancied her and longed for a long chat. Lily mumbled an excuse and made for the door getting to the curb just in time to jump on the overcrowded bus.

Nick was due to collect her at seven, so she had time to take a bath and wash her hair. It still smelled of smoke from the night before and she used the last of the lavender shampoo that her mum had sent over from Cornwall. She chose her favorite blue dress. It was the color of cornflowers and brought out her eyes while contrasting nicely with her coppery locks. She tried putting up her hair in a chignon to look more mature, but then decided to leave it down just pinning up the front and sides. She applied some mascara and was just putting on lipstick when she heard the door and Alice’s voice asking Nicholas to come up. Lily winked at herself in the mirror and headed to the sitting room where Nick was already seated on the shabby old sofa. He immediately rose to his feet as she entered and she saw the look of pleasure in his eyes as he saw her.

“You look even more beautiful than you did last night.” He awkwardly handed her a bouquet of daisies. Alice volunteered to put them in water and warned Nick to have Lily home at a reasonable hour looking sternly at Nick as if she was Lily’s mother. They giggled nervously as they stepped outside into the autumn evening. The purple shadows of twilight were already embracing the city and the air smelled of freshly cut grass and warm earth. On an evening this perfect it was hard to believe that the country was at war and just last night they had been bombed again by their relentless enemy. They resolved not to talk about the war and walked down the sidewalk chatting about trivial things until Nick spotted a taxi. He had booked a table at Chez Luc and Lily was secretly impressed. She had heard of the place, but never been inside. It was way above her secretarial wages and no man had ever taken her on such a fancy date. Most blokes invited her for a drink at the pub or the more uptight ones took her to a tea house for some tea and cakes.

The taxi pulled up to the curb and Nick jumped out to open her door. The restaurant had a discreet sign above the revolving door and leaded windows which glowed with the reflection of flickering candles inside. They stepped inside and Lily looked curiously around while Nick spoke to the maître d’. The restaurant was small and dim, illuminated only by candles on the tables and several sconces on the expensively upholstered walls, which were done in a muted red giving the place a mysterious and womb-like atmosphere. There were modern paintings in gilded frames on the walls full of color and hidden meaning. The plush red banquets matched the walls and waiters scurried silently from one patron to another seeing to their every need. They were led to a booth in the corner and given thick leather bound menus to peruse.

“Nick, this place is lovely. I’ve always wanted to come here. Have you been here before?”

“No. I asked my aunt for a nice place to take a beautiful girl and she recommended this. The food is supposed to be good too. Do you like duck?”

“Only if they didn’t poach it from St. James Park,” Lily giggled as she took a peek at the menu. She had no idea what most of the dishes were, but was happy to try new things. She felt very cosmopolitan being in a fancy French restaurant with a handsome man in uniform. “Why don’t you order?”

Lily hardly noticed what she ate. From what she remembered it was all delicious, but she was too excited to be with Nick to notice. He made her feel at ease, talking easily and giving her bites of various delicacies to try. The look in his eyes made her feel warm all over and she had butterflies in her belly, which were not from the wine the waiter kept pouring into her crystal goblet. His hand felt warm as he put it over hers on the table and she longed for him to take her in his arms again like he did last night. She silently prayed that there would be no sirens tonight and she could enjoy his company as she would in times of peace when death wasn’t hiding behind every door waiting to pounce on unsuspecting lovers.