Full Circle (5 page)

Lily waited for the door to close downstairs before she made her way to her lonely bed. She longed to consult Alice, but there was no light under her door, so it would have to wait till morning. Lily put on her nightdress and got into bed. Her body was still on fire from Nick’s caresses, but her mind was in turmoil. Did he really mean it when he said he wanted it to be special between them or was he just saying it to pacify her before jilting her? Would he really come around tomorrow? She couldn’t understand his reaction. According to her mother sex was all that men were after and here she was giving it away and he turned her down. He probably thought she was a tart who did this with all the men she saw. He didn’t know she was still a virgin. That was it. Lily wiped a tear from her cheek and resolved not to think any more about this until she could talk to Alice in the morning. Alice was more experienced. She would explain things to her. After tossing and turning for ages Lily finally drifted off to sleep.

As it turned out Lily never got to talk to Alice. By the time she finally woke up, Alice was long gone. She was working the Sunday morning shift at the hospital and wouldn’t be back until much later. Lily threw open the curtains and let the light flood her small bedroom. Today was a new day and she felt better. Nick would come later and everything would be all right. She put on her flowery dressing gown and went to the kitchen to make some tea and toast. All things were better when faced on a full stomach. Lily finished her breakfast and cleared away the dishes then dressed for the day.

She felt listless and had no idea how to occupy herself until Nick came. She put a few things away, picked up a magazine and tried reading, but couldn’t concentrate and finally gave up. She turned on the wireless and sat on the sofa allowing the music to sooth her frayed nerves. He would come, she knew he would. By 2pm she was no longer sure and she felt her anxiety building up. “You silly fool, you’ve known him for only three days and you are acting like a love sick puppy,” she scolded herself. “If he doesn’t come, life will go on just like it did before. He is leaving in ten days anyway. Pull yourself together.” Lily was still sitting on the sofa, arguing with herself when she heard the bell ringing downstairs. Their landlady who lived downstairs never had any callers, so Lily knew it must be for her. She stood up, smoothed down her skirt and slowly walked down the stairs, so as not to appear too eager. She said a quick prayer on the way down that it would be Nick and not someone selling something door to door or looking for someone else.

She opened the door to find Nick standing on the stoop looking anxious. “I thought I’d missed you,” he said following her up the stairs. “I am sorry I am late, but I had an errand to run before coming here. It took longer than expected. Can we go for a walk, sweetheart? I need some air.” He seemed really jittery and Lily wondered what he had been up to. What was this mysterious errand that he had to run? Was he seeing someone else? Maybe he came over to jilt her in person. She picked up her bag and threw on a light sweater before following Nick out of the house. They headed towards the Thames. The weather was fine and many people were strolling along the river having come from church services or just enjoying the warm weather. Nick leaned on the railing watching the boats sailing up and down the muddy river. A fresh breeze was blowing off the water and Lily wrapped her arms around herself to keep out the chill. Nick seemed preoccupied and she waited for him to say something that would put her mind at ease, then finally lost patience and asked him what was on his mind.

He turned to face her looking at her intently before finally speaking. “Lily, I know that we have only known each other for a few days and I wouldn’t dare bring this up so soon under normal circumstances, but since I am leaving in less than two weeks I better speak up now. If it wasn’t for this bloody war ...”

“We’d never have met,” cut in Lily.

“You are probably right. All the same, if it wasn’t for this war we’d have all the time in the world to get to know each other, but I am shipping out soon and I might not get another chance to tell you how I feel. I can’t stop thinking about you. The thought of possibly never seeing you again is haunting me and I can’t let that happen. I am hopelessly in love with you. Sweetheart, I know it’s asking a lot, but will you marry me before I ship out?”

“So that’s what he meant when he said he wanted things to be right between us,” Lily thought as she looked at his anxious face. She took his arm and started to walk needing a few moments to think. A thousand objections raced through Lily’s mind but she pushed them all away. She knew that if she married Nick she might become a widow before she really became a wife, but she told herself that it’s better to have a moment of pure joy than a lifetime of regret. She had never felt for anyone what she felt for Nick. She knew it was infatuation, but a lot of marriages were built on less. He was attractive, but that wasn’t what drew her to him. There was certain solidness to him that she found reassuring. He seemed to be a man of his word and she instinctively knew that she could rely on him. He wouldn’t let her down. He was fun, easy going and full of life and he wanted her, which made him a good judge of character and a man of impeccable taste she thought to herself.

“Yes. I will marry you.” The minute the words passed her lips Lily knew that she made the right decision. She felt an overwhelming joy as Nick slid a lovely sapphire ring onto her finger. The round stone was encircled by diamonds and was mounted on a plain gold band. “That was my errand. I had to get the ring from my aunt’s house after church. It belonged to my mother. Aunt Gwen kept it for us, depending on who married first.”

“I will treasure it for the rest of my life. What should we do now?” Lily felt a burst of energy needing to share her news with the world. Surely there were things to be done when one got engaged.

“We should probably start by calling your parents, and Alice, or course. My aunt and uncle already know. I can obtain a special license tomorrow and we can be married on Tuesday. That will give us a week before I leave.”

“Tuesday,” Lily whispered as she walked arm in arm with Nick. Last Tuesday she didn’t even know he existed.

Nick suggested that they go to his Aunt’s house to discuss the arrangements. Aunt Gwen had already offered to host a wedding breakfast at her townhouse in Kensington and a guest list, as well as a menu would need to be sorted out. Lily would call her parents from their house. She decided to tell Alice later in person.

The Butlers lived on a leafy side street in one of the many white townhouses lining the block. Lily felt a trifle nervous about meeting her prospective in-laws, but her fears were dispelled when Aunt Gwen opened the door. She was a formidable looking woman with a greying marcel wave and dark eyes that twinkled just like her nephew’s. She was dressed in a navy skirt with a silk blouse the color of fresh cream; a string of pearls at her throat completed the ensemble. Her thin, red painted lips parted in a warm smile of welcome as she ushered them inside.

Uncle William was seated in a comfortable arm chair reading the paper and sucking on his pipe, but he jumped to his feet as soon as they entered shaking Lily’s hand and offering his heartfelt congratulations. He was a thin man, probably at least ten years older than his wife with wispy grey hair and thick horn-rimmed spectacles. He wore a grey cardigan over a white shirt and grey flannel trousers and his entire persona seemed to be a study in grey. Once Lily sat nervously on the edge of the antique sofa with Nick safely beside her Aunt Gwen disappeared into the kitchen at the back of the house to prepare tea. No wedding discussion could take place before refreshments were served.

Aunt Gwen wheeled in a tea caddy laden with a flowery tea pot, cups and saucers and several plates of biscuits and sandwiches. She poured out and then sat down opposite Lily looking like a General ready to plan a strategic battle. From what Nick told her Lily knew that the Butlers never had children of their own and Nicholas and Ian were the sons they never had. Aunt Gwen was full of ideas and Lily was happy enough to let her take over. She didn’t care about the food or the flowers. She was getting married the day after tomorrow and her heart was racing in her chest with nervous excitement. She kept sneaking looks at the sapphire on her finger just to make sure it was all real and she wasn’t just having a lovely dream. Finally, everything was planned to Aunt Gwen’s satisfaction and Nick took Lily to the study to call her parents. He gave her a reassuring kiss and stepped out closing the door behind him. Lily picked up the phone and gave the number to the operator. She listened to the telephone ring and ring until she hung up and tried again at the surgery. Her mother answered in her brisk, businesslike voice.

“Dr. Stratton’s surgery.”

“Mum, it’s me.” Lily’s voice sounded nervous even to her own ears.

“Lily, darling, what is it? You sound odd.” Her mother sounded concerned and Lily didn’t want to worry her.

“Everything is all right, Mum. I have some news. I am to be married on Tuesday.” She heard a deep intake of breath as her mother steadied herself and tried to gather her thoughts.

“Darling, is that wise? How long have you known the young man?”

“Not long, but I am sure about this. I am so happy, Mum. Will you and Dad come to the wedding? Nick’s Aunt is standing us a wedding breakfast.”

“Darling, your father has a busy schedule on Tuesdays, you know that. I will speak to him, of course. I will come up with Edward. Now tell me about this future husband of yours.” Lily knew that her mother had capitulated and was ready to discuss the future. She had voiced her objections, but she knew that Lily would do as she would. She always did anyway.

“He is a Lieutenant in the Air Force and he is shipping out next week.” Lily hated saying that, but there was no running away from the truth.

“What of his family, darling?”

“His parents died in a car crash when he was seven. His aunt and uncle took him and his younger brother in and raised them. His name is Nicholas, Mum.”

“He sounds lovely. What time is the ceremony? I will take the earliest train and arrive around 10am. See you Tuesday, darling.”

With that she rang off and Lily sat down for a few moments to compose herself. She never had a close relationship with her mother. Her mother did not approved of excessive emotion and concepts such as love and passion probably did not enter her mind when she married Lily’s father who came from a good family and was already a doctor. She was dutiful and practical and immune to all forms of foolishness, as she called anything that didn’t make absolute sense. Lily wished her father would come. He was the one she always ran to as a child with a scraped knee or a childish hurt. He would sit her down on his knee, comfort her and tell her some story that would make her completely forget her woes and long to hear more of the heroic battles of the Great War in which her father fought or about the fairy princesses, which she secretly preferred.

Lily was distracted from her thoughts by a black and white portrait in a heavy silver frame on the mantle of the unlit fireplace. She came closer to get a better look. The couple in picture was captured in the standard pose of the time. The woman was sitting on a chair with the man standing behind her, his hands on the back of the chair. The both looked earnestly into the camera without smiling. The woman seemed to be no older than eighteen with bouncy dark curls cut in a blunt bob and a frilly light colored frock. She wore a long string of beads that hung between her small breasts and her dark eyes seemed to be full of wonder and amusement. The man behind her was a few years older, looking stiff in his three piece suit and dark tie. His hair was lighter than the woman’s and he had light color eyes that were the exact replica of Nick’s. His moustache and short, pointy beard gave him a Freudian appearance and Lily remembered that he was a professor. He certainly fit the part. She was startled out of her reverie by a soft knock on the door.

“Are you all right, dear? Have you spoken to your parents? I don’t mean to intrude, but I am afraid it’s time to do the blackout.” Aunt Gwen inched into the room looking apologetic.

“Thank you, I am quite finished. My mother will be coming. My father cannot get away from his practice on such short notice, not even for his daughter’s wedding. Are those Nick’s parents?”

Gwen walked over to the fire place and gently lifted the portrait off the mantle. “That’s my younger sister, Evelyn. She was so lovely. I miss her every single day. She met Robert on a holiday and it was love at first sight for both of them. She went to Scotland to be with him. He was a wonderful man, intelligent and kind. It was a terrible tragedy. I am only glad that I was able to raise the boys. I think they would have been very proud of their sons had they lived.”

“I am sure they would be.”

Lily left the room and rejoined Nick in the sitting room which was already outfitted with black crepe curtains to prevent even a spec of light spilling into the outside world. The lamps had been lit and Nick was quietly talking to his uncle. He jumped to his feet as Lily walked in. “All right?” She nodded. “Mum will come.”

They said their farewells and stepped out into the coolness of the night. Fat raindrops were beginning to splatter the sidewalk and Nick hailed a taxi to take Lily home. It was time to tell Alice.

Chapter
7

Nick dropped Lily off at the door, but did not come upstairs. He promised to ring her as soon as he obtained the license on Monday. She had to go to work in the morning and request a leave of absence. She hoped that Tight-Arse Pinkerton would not make difficulties for her simply for his own pleasure. She was entitled to some time off and she would get it even if she had to go over his head and apply to his superiors. Lily shut the door tightly before turning on the light and going up the stairs. Alice was sitting in her favorite chair by the wireless listening to some jazz. She looked tired and sad and Lily felt a terrible guilt just springing this news on her.