gaian consortium 06 - zhore deception (19 page)

As the ripples from the climax began to finally fade away, she shifted, kissing her way down Zhandar’s body, her lips feeling the soft ripples of his scaled skin against her. And then she was taking him in her mouth, tasting the sweet musk of him, caressing him with her tongue. A groan went through him, so deep it seemed to reverberate throughout his entire body.

She could make him come, she knew. It wouldn’t take much. But her purpose in being here wasn’t to get him to climax that way. She had a mission she was supposed to accomplish.

His breathing accelerated, and she pulled away, shifting so she was lying next to him. His eyes opened, and then he nodded as he seemed to grasp what she wanted next.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

Trinity nodded. “More sure than I’ve been of anything else.”

And that wasn’t even a lie. She knew what she had to do…but at the same time, she wanted it. No matter what happened afterward. Right now, she wanted to share this with him.

He pulled in a breath, and then he was over her, pushing between her legs. She could feel him touch her. Yes, he was big, but she was ready. So very ready.

Would he guess that she wasn’t a virgin? Or was her interior geometry just different enough from a female Zhore’s that he wouldn’t notice? It wasn’t the sort of thing any of the Consortium scientists or doctors had even mentioned. Maybe they just didn’t realize that the Zhore stayed virgins until they bonded with their partners. At any rate, it wasn’t anything she could change now.

Just a pause. A heartbeat, then another. And then he was pushing his way inside, filling her, just as she’d hoped, her core seeming to pulse around him, feeling not just his size, but that delicious delicately scaled skin caressing her, awakening nerve endings she hadn’t even known she possessed until this moment.

They began to rock together, slowly, then faster and faster. Her nails were digging into his shoulders, but she doubted he even noticed. Everything was in this connection between them — she could feel his love and his desire flowing out and encircling them both, pulling them that much closer together. And she allowed something to escape — just a little, just a pulse of her own need, her affection for him. Anything more, and she knew she ran the risk of him detecting far more than she wanted him to.

That seemed to be enough, though. His arms tightened around her, even as she felt him drive deeper, then release, the wild ecstasy pouring from him catching her up as well, swirling around her while her own orgasm exploded through her, along every vein, every nerve ending, every cell in her body. All she could do was hang onto him, riding it out, knowing that she didn’t dare do anything else until that wave of pleasure finally ebbed, leaving her gasping in his arms.

Neither of them spoke. He only held her tightly against him, his mouth against her hair, both their chests heaving for breath. Trinity wished it could always be like this — bodies pressed together, his love for her such a palpable thing that she thought she might be able to reach out and touch it, feel it flow over her fingers like a ribbon of sun-warmed silk.

But even in that moment of perfect harmony, she knew this bliss couldn’t last.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The most natural thing would have been for Zhanna to move into his residence. After all, they had no need of separate apartments, now that they had shared themselves fully. But when he asked her, she’d only shaken her head and told him,

“Not yet, Zhandar.”

He hadn’t insisted, although her refusal troubled him greatly. She seemed happy enough to let matters remain as they were between them, even as the days and then weeks began to pass. And because she came to his apartment nearly every night, only slipping out in the early morning hours so she could go home and prepare herself for work, he told himself that their current arrangement was almost the same as living together.

Almost.

The Gaians, he had heard, had quite elaborate wedding rituals, with special clothing and music and flowers, and the Eridanis celebrated their matches by spending at least a month traveling to new places so the married couple could form new memories together. They were not quite as formal here on Zhoraan, of course. The physical communion he and Zhanna had shared was quite enough to prove their intention of spending the rest of their lives together. But it was as if, even though she had taken that very large step, she could not quite steel herself to make the final one of truly living with him as his wife.

He tried to reassure himself that she was only reluctant because they had not yet made a formal announcement at their work. From a few head tilts and awkward pauses, Zhandar had guessed that Nizhal, one of the other designers in the office, had realized something not entirely professional was being shared between his supervisor and the director’s new assistant, but of course Nizhal was far too well-mannered to actually say anything to either of them.

And because Zhanna lived in the same city — only one district over from his — and because she came to him every night, Zhandar had not suffered the torture of being truly separated from her. She knew as well as he did that once two Zhore had made their soul bond, an actual separation of any real distance or time would result in their demise. It was only when that soul bond was broken by death that one of his people could survive the loss of their mate.

Not that they would particularly want to. Most who lost their partners did not live long afterward, but then, deaths such as Elzhair’s were rare. Old age claimed most of Zhandar’s people, not the sort of untimely tragedy that had taken his late wife’s life.

Now Zhanna came into his office, but because the door was open and the third hour of the afternoon not yet past, he knew they would share no confidences. Too many people around.

“Brezhanne just contacted me,” Zhanna informed him. “All the beds have been laid down, and the piping for the drip system installed. They will need you to come inspect the site and let them know if all is in order so that they can begin bringing in the plants and soil.”

Her voice was brisk, businesslike. He expected no less, of course, but at the same time he wished he could hear the soft, throaty tone it took on when they were alone together.

“Let her know that we will be there within the hour.”

Zhanna inclined her head and headed back to her office. It would be something, this small excursion of theirs. At least they would be alone in his car, and he might be able to take her hand, lay his hand on her knee. Perhaps even steal a kiss, if the opportunity presented itself. Some might say he was torturing himself with these small intimacies, but better to have that tiny taste of her rather than nothing at all.

Nothing,
he thought then, and wanted to shake his head at himself, at this need that seemed to have overcome all his common sense.
Only nothing for these few hours while we remain at work. Once you are home, you will have all of her.

Again, and again. It seemed he would never tire of tasting her, and she certainly showed no sign of wanting to slow things down. Indeed, he got the distinct impression that she would have been happy making love all night, if it weren’t that they had to get up and go to the office, and behave as if nothing untoward was happening between them.

It wasn’t untoward, though. Their being together was the most natural thing in the world, and he wondered how long she would allow matters to stand as they were.

And how long he would be willing to wait.

Zhandar was getting edgy, that much Trinity could tell, but living with him as his wife was something she couldn’t allow herself to do. Bad enough that every moment they spent together was being recorded by that damned implant inside her head. If she was with him day and night, then he would have absolutely no privacy at all. And while she didn’t like using work as the excuse to maintain separate residences, at least it was an excuse that he seemed to accept…for the moment, anyway.

Usually she enjoyed going on these field trips with him. Today, though, she worried that he would use the privacy of his car to talk to her about their current living arrangements, or lack thereof.

Her concerns were confirmed when he said, not even a moment after they left the garage under their office building, “It has been nearly a month since we first sealed our bond.”

Trinity didn’t reply at once. The now-familiar streets were passing by outside, but in that moment they suddenly seemed alien once again, hostile. But she knew that was only her own emotions coloring what she saw.

After a long pause, she replied, “And it has been a wonderful month.”

She couldn’t see his face, but she somehow knew that his mouth tightened behind the low-hanging hood. “Yes, it has…but it could have been even more wonderful. Zhanna, no one will think we have acted in a precipitate manner for sharing one roof after all this time.”

All this time.
Among the commitment-phobic men she’d dated, a month was just barely enough time to be given a spot in a drawer for a few spare pairs of underwear. But Zhandar wasn’t like anyone else she’d ever known. And it was true among the Zhore that, once they committed to one another, there were no lengthy engagements, no real courtship periods. They knew they were meant for one another, and so they began to live together. Simple.

Only in her case, things were far from simple. She already knew that leaving would hurt him immeasurably, but at the same time, she stubbornly hoped avoiding that final step would lessen the hurt, if only a little. Living apart, she could pretend that she wasn’t truly his wife, even though Zhore society would view their relationship very differently.

“Perhaps we can talk about this tonight,” she said. “I don’t see any point in having an argument right before we meet with the foreperson at the construction site.”

Anger flared out from him, but just as quickly he pushed it back. It was a banked fire, though, one that could come roaring to life again at any moment. “Were we having an argument?” he asked, voice tight.

She turned away from him to stare out the window. “Not yet.”

They remained coolly silent for the rest of the ride to the new building. Once they arrived, they stayed quiet during the elevator ride up to the rooftop. Luckily, the foreperson didn’t seem to notice anything amiss about the way Zhandar and his assistant acted toward one another, and Trinity thanked God for that. He conducted his inspection with grave courtesy, thanked the foreperson for her patience with his changes, and praised her for the finished product.

“Yes, we are ready for the final step,” Zhandar told her. “I’ll give the order for the soil and plants to be delivered. They will be here tomorrow morning, if that suits you.”

“It suits me very well,” she said. “For after this project, I will go on retreat for a while. It is time for me to rest, I think. But I will be happy, knowing that we brought life to this place.”

“And I, and my colleagues, will be happy as well.” He clasped his hands together and bowed over them, and the foreperson did the same. Standing off to one side, Trinity wondered if she should make the same gesture of respect, but then decided against it, since she hadn’t actually been part of the conversation.

He was polite enough as he made a few requests of her, such as asking her to confirm the time of delivery for the soil the next morning, but there was a notable lack of warmth in his voice. She told herself not to worry, that he was merely being formal in front of the foreperson, but she still felt a faint thread of unease working its way down her spine, chilling her despite the mild day.

When they were back in the car and headed toward their office, he said, “Perhaps it would be better if you stayed at your apartment this evening.”

“Really?” she replied. “You are asking that of me?”

“Yes,” he said tersely, “I am asking that of you.”

She lifted her shoulders, not caring whether she looked or sounded properly Zhore in that moment. “Suit yourself.”

The rest of the afternoon felt like pure torture, but she managed to get through it somehow. And she left with the rest of her coworkers, rather than lingering in her office, pretending to be busy with some project or another. On the way out, Nizhal gave her the Zhore equivalent of the side-eye — that is, his hood tilted somewhat quizzically in her direction, although he didn’t speak — but that was the extent of anyone’s reaction to her leaving on time for once.

Which was just as well. Right then she was profoundly grateful for the empathic aliens’ reticence about prying into anyone else’s affairs. It took her last ounce of energy to take the light rail home, then make her way to her apartment. Why she felt so tired, she wasn’t sure. True, being at odds with Zhandar did little to help her outlook on life, but she’d been draggy and listless for the past couple of days.

Probably the return of the monthly trouble,
she told herself as she shut the door behind her.
You’re not used to having to deal with it, and it should be due any day now.

Well, that made sense. Once women in the Consortium started getting their shots, their periods were light or, in Trinity’s case, basically nonexistent. But who knew how those counter-shots Gabriel’s doctors had given her were messing with her system.

Every time she came home, she was on edge, wondering if she was going to find Blake Chu waiting for her in the elevator to whisk her away so she could be on the receiving end of another round of browbeating. She sort of doubted that Gabriel was all that happy to see the way she lost herself in Zhandar’s arms night after night.

Who knew that faking
not
enjoying yourself in bed would be so damn difficult?

But she hadn’t heard from her handlers, which meant that either Gabriel had found the inner strength to not go all alpha male on her, or that someone even farther up the food chain had told him he needed to back off. Whatever the reason for his hands-off approach lately, she was glad for it. Having to walk a tightrope with Zhandar all the time was hard enough.

And that exchange earlier today…she knew he was tired of her holding him at arm’s length, but at the same time, she’d never thought he would go so far as to request some time away from her. That was such an un-Zhore-like response to the situation that she knew she must have upset him greatly.