Joe shook his own head. “Doesn't bother me in the least,” he replied in a monotone.
“It was awesome.” Jordy's face lit up with a smile. “I mean, being with Roger was okay, but sex with a hot guy? It was like every fantasy I'd ever had came true. Matt had no body fat.” His eyes got a distant look as he remembered. “His abs looked like they'd been carved from stone. His arms were huge. And that ass . . . my God, he did like getting fucked, and I loved fucking him. I was worried, you know, that I wouldn't be any good at sex, but turns out I was a natural.” He winked. “And I discovered I really enjoyed sucking cock.”
Joe swallowed, trying to keep his own face expressionless, trying not to imagine what it would be like to have this hot young man on his knees worshipping Joe's cock.
I need to get laid,
he told himself.
I'm horny and it's been too long. That's why this kid is having this effect on me.
“I liked it a lot,” Jordy went on. “I couldn't get enough of it. I went back out the next night and went home with someone else. I discovered how easy it was to find someone to fuck on the Internet. For the last three weeks before school started, I was having sex sometimes two or three times a day. I was like a kid in a candy store.... I couldn't get enough. Sure, some of the guys from online weren't as hot as their pictures, but I didn't care. They all loved me, wanted me, wanted to feel my muscles and lick me, kiss me, worship me.” He frowned. “I know how bad that sounds . . . but you have to understand, it was all new to me. I wasn't used to it, and it did kind of go to my head a little bit. I couldn't believe the way men were reacting to the new me. It did bother me a little, you know. I mean, I was the same person I was before . . . the only thing that changed was the way I looked.”
“The gay community can be superficial,” Joe replied.
One of Jordy's eyebrows went up. “You're gay?”
Joe nodded, thinking
What the hell.
“Yeah.”
Jordy smiled. “Well, damn, I'm sorry I never ran into you before.”
Careful, Joe. Stay professional.
“I don't get out much.”
Jordy nodded. “You probably have a boyfriend, don't you?” He sighed. “Guys like you always do.”
Guys like me?
In spite of himself he was flattered.
Get a hold of yourself, Detective. This is an interrogation, not a goddamned pickup. Thank God Grace is not here. I'd never hear the end of this.
He cleared his throat. “Actually, I don't.” He struggled to keep his voice noncommittal.
“Well, maybe after all this is over we could have dinner or something?” Jordy practically purred.
A gorgeous, sexy young man who also happens to be filthy rich and loves to have sexâwhat a serious slap in the face to Sean that would be!
An image of Jordy naked and lying on his back flashed through his head, a big smile on his face, cooing,
Fuck me, Detective, come on and give it to me, you big stud, I want that big fat cock in my ass, come on put me through the goddamned headboard, ride me you big fucking studâ
He shook his head. “I don't think that would be a good idea.”
“Why not?” Jordy sounded surprised. “I didn't push Chad out that window, no matter what my asshole brothers might have said. I mean, sure, I get that you're here on official police business, but once you're done questioning me, there's no reason why we can't see each other socially, is there?”
I'm not entirely convinced you didn't push him.
A knock on the door kept him from answering. Jordy excused himself and walked to the front door.
You're allowing your attraction to cloud your judgment,
Joe chided himself.
Yes, he's a good-looking guy. It would be fun to fuck him. But it's clear he has strong feelings about Chad York. It's not impossible he pushed him. Sure, being rejected by someone you're attracted to is painfulâGod knows it's happened to you plenty of times, and will happen again, and it does suckâbut it's hardly a motivation for attempted murder. But then again, you've investigated murders committed for a lot less. People are capable of anythingâand he still hasn't told you what they argued about. In the heat of passion people do things they'd never doâand you can't forget this kid is really, really smart, and very emotionally vulnerable. He could have lost his head, shoved Chad out the window, and come back here to figure out how he was going to get away with it.
“I'm sorry, Detective.” Jordy walked back into the living room. “This is my neighborâI told you about him. Jeff Morgan. Jeff, this is Detective Palladino with the Polk Police Department.”
Joe stood up and shook hands with a handsome young man he recognized but couldn't place.
“It's nice to meet you,” Jeff said with a slight midwestern accent. He frowned. “I'm sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to make sure Jordy was okay.” He turned his attention to Jordy. “Eric called me and told me what happened.”
“Some of the brothers think I pushed him,” Jordy replied sourly. “Which is why the nice police detective is here.”
“Well, Eric doesn't think so, and neither does anyone with a brain!” Jeff replied, his blue eyes flashing. “What a bunch of gossipy bitches.” He turned back to Joe. “You can't believe Jordy did this!” He frowned. “I'm sorry, but you look familiar. Have we met?”
Joe stared at him, trying to place him. He was about to say Jeff looked familiar to him as well when an image of Jeff wearing a yellow thong, shaking his ass on the bar at Fusions, flashed through his mind. “I don't believe so,” Joe replied, keeping his face immobile. Joe had tipped him more than once, managing to grope his legs and touch his perfectly chiseled chest. Sean had been crazy about him, unable to take his eyes off him as he moved around on top of the bar.
“Look at that package,”
Sean had said.
“It would be worth seeing if he's a hustler, don't you think, Joe? I mean, most of them are, right?”
He pushed those thoughts out of his head.
“I just can't shake this feeling I know you from somewhere.” Jeff shook his head.
Joe shrugged. “Maybe the grocery store or the gym.”
“Maybe.” Jeff frowned and turned back to Jordy. “Well, I probably should leave you two alone.” Jeff touched Jordy on the shoulder. “Sorry, I wouldn't have interrupted had I known.... Jordy, come over when you're done. Are you going to be okay?”
Jordy nodded. “I think so. I mean, it's such a shock. . . .”
“Well, if you need anything, or just to talk, come on over. Blair's going to be home from rehearsal soon, and we should be home the rest of the night.” He pulled Jordy into a big hug, and Joe bit his lower lip.
They're both so gorgeous, it would be hot to watch themâ
“It was nice meeting you, Detective.” Jeff shook his hand. “Just sorry it's under these circumstances. And if there's anything I can do to help, I'm just right across the hall.” His face darkened. “I always knew Chad York was going to be more trouble than he was worth.”
Jordy walked him to the door, and Joe could hear them murmuring to each other. He heard the door open and shut before Jordy came back and plopped down in his chair. “Sorry, Detective.” He spread his hands sheepishly. “I wasn't sure if I should have just gotten rid of him.”
Joe shook his head. “Not a problem.”
“Jeff is a great friend,” Jordy went on. “Him and Blair both. They've always been great to me.” He grinned. “You should have seen the looks on their faces when they came back from Christmas break! They couldn't believe how much I'd changed. . . .” His voice trailed off. “I guess that's where I left off, right?”
Joe nodded.
“The Saturday before the first Monday of school, the house always has a welcome-back party,” Jordy went on, “and that's the first time the brothers saw the new me. . . .”
Chapter 7
I
got out of the car and took a deep breath. I hadn't set foot in the house since Initiation Night. I'd skipped the end-of-semester partyâI really didn't want to see or talk to anyone. The last time I'd walked into Beta Kappa I'd been fifteen pounds heavier, wore glasses, and looked like a total dork. I hadn't really known how to dress right, didn't have the slightest clue how to eat right, and had never set foot in a gym. As a pledge, I'd been a wide-eyed innocent just looking for a place where I could belong, make friends, and be myself.
I was a different person now, and my brothers were about to find out how much I'd changed.
I leaned back against the car. The house was all lit up for the party. The door to the backyard from the foyer was open, and I could see some brothers gathered around a couple of kegs. The deejay was lugging in crates of equipment, and some guys were seated at the picnic tables in the backyard. It had rained most of the day, and as the sun had gone down a thick fog had blanketed Polk. The street lamps glowed through the heavy mist. The parking lot was full, and I recognized some of the cars.
I almost got back in the car and headed back home.
Don't be an idiot,
I chided myself.
Remember how everyone at Fusions reacted to you that first time. Every time you've been back there you've met several guys, and you haven't gone home alone once. Chad is in for the shock of his life.
That thought made me smile a little bit. In the six weeks since that horrible night when Chad dismissed me as beneath his notice, I'd replayed the scene hundreds of times in my head. I'd played it pitch perfect, never giving him the slightest clue how much he was wounding me. I was proud I'd not given him a single hint of how he was destroying me with a smile on his lips. I'd never forget that he'd been
smiling
as he cut me off at the knees and poured salt into the wounds. I would never forget those words as long as I lived.
“You're funny and sweet and a lot of fun to be around. But you just aren't my type. I like guys who take care of themselves.”
My mouth twisted as I forced the humiliating memory out of my mind again. After all, he hadn't just come right out and called me a disgusting, fat pig unworthy of the great Chad Yorkâbut he might as well have.
I smoothed my red pullover down over my now-flat stomach. The sleeves had been rolled up to the top of my biceps, and my low-waisted jeans fit snugly and showed my new ass off beautifully.
Go inside,
I ordered myself.
You look great and you know it. Everyone is going to be amazed. Don't be so nervous, you're just being ridiculous.
I must have changed my clothes about twenty times, trying to figure out what showed my body off to its best advantage. Should I wear a muscle shirt showing off my now-defined shoulders and arms? Or something with sleeves? Black jeans or low-rise blue? Unable to make up my mind, I'd finally called Jeff and Blair for help.
“I don't know what your problem is,” Blair had drawled after I showed them my third option. “You look amazing, Jordy. You look great in everything.”
“You're sweet.” I smiled at him. “But I want to look
perfect.
I want everyone to notice me.”
“There's no such thing as perfect,” Jeff replied, shaking his head. “You'll make yourself crazy that way. That's a path you don't want to go down. Trust meâyou'll never be satisfied. You'll wind up with an eating disorder or juicing or something equally awful.”
“Easy for you to say,” I replied, pulling the blue shirt over my head and tossing it back on the bed. “It's effortless for youâfor both of you.”
“Effortless?” They looked at each other and laughed.
“Girl, you have no idea how much work I have to put into looking this fabulous,” Blair replied. “And it's a neverending struggle.” He patted his flat stomach. “I gained so much weight in Europe over the break.”
“You're not the only one,” Jeff added. “I never should have let you talk me into going to Italy for that weekend. All that pasta!” He groaned. “I'll never be able to get back on the bar again if I don't get my definition back.”
“Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes. The gods had gifted Jeff with a perfect body. “Stop fishing for compliments. You both look flawless, and what's more, you always do.” I frowned at myself in the mirror. “You're sure these jeans don't make me look fat?”
“Stop freaking out so much.” Jeff walked up to me and put his arm around me. “The point is, Jordy, we are all our own worst critics.” He squeezed me. “We don't see ourselves the way others do.” With his free hand, he reached down and pinched his waist. “See?”
“There's nothing there, Jeff,” I replied, grabbing my own waist. “Look at this disgusting flab.”
“Stop it, Jordy,” Blair commanded. “For one thing, that's just extra skin from losing weight so fast. For another, those jeans look great on you and you know it. As for you, Jeffâthere's not an extra ounce of fat anywhere on your body.”
“And I know that.” Jeff nodded, frowning down at the little bit of skin pinched between his fingers. “But no matter how many times I tell myself, I can't get it out of my head that it's fat.”
“That's crazy,” I replied. “You get up on a bar and dance in a thong, Jeff. People ogle you and give you money because you're hot.”
“No crazier than you're being right now.” Blair came up on the other side of me. “You look fantastic in everything you've shown us. I don't think there's anything you could wear that would look bad on you. But”âhe gestured to the bedâ“if I had to choose something, I'd wear that tight red shirt with the low-rise jeans. You look great in red. It's a good color for you. It also makes your shoulders and pecs look huge. And those jeans really show off your ass.” He smacked my ass to emphasize his point and laughed. “You know your ass is hard as a rock, right?”
“I love you guys,” I said, my lower lip trembling and my eyes filling with tears. “I don't know what I ever did to deserve two friends like you.”
“Aww.” They enveloped me in a big hug.
“Now get dressed and let's get going,” Blair instructed.
So I put on the red shirt and the low-rise jeans, smoked a joint with them in the car on the way to the house, and now stood in the parking lot, looking at the house. They'd already gone in, and still I stood there summoning up the nerve. I could hear Lady Gaga blaring from the party room. The backyard was filling up with people drinking and laughing. I bit my lower lip. My stomach was churning.
You're being stupid. Remember how people react to you at Fusions. Everyone at the house is going to be blown away by how you look now.
But the only person whose opinion mattered was Chad.
You're beautiful now. His jaw is going to drop, and he is going to want you. He's going to take you up to his room, and undress you, and you're going to finally get to fuck that gorgeous ass. You've had plenty of practice. You've learned how to drive a bottom crazy with pleasure. Chad is going to have his mind blown, and he won't be able to get enough of you, and he is going to love youâdidn't he say the only thing wrong with you was your body? And you've taken care of that. You're perfect for him now.
I lifted my chin. “Come on, Jordy, let's go party.”
I walked up the sidewalk to the back door. I paused at the door and took one more deep breath, and walked through the door.
“Wow!” Jacob Hinton did a double take as I walked up to the keg. “Dude, you look amazing!”
I laughed and grabbed a cup. “Thanks. You look great, too.” I started filling my cup with beer. I had just lifted it to my mouth when someone smacked my ass. I looked over my shoulder at Jon Preston. “Christmas sure agreed with you,” he said, as he looked me up and down. “What the hell happened to you?”
“I just decided to start taking better care of myself, is all.” I sipped my beer. The buzz from the joint I'd smoked with Blair and Jeff was starting to wear off a bit. I couldn't help but smile to myself. The reactions from the brothers were everything I could have hoped for, and with each compliment my confidence grew. I got another beer and felt myself starting to relax. Some of the gay brothers were checking me out, which was incredible. Jacob and Jon both flirted with me, and I flirted right back with them. I kept an eye out for Chad but didn't see him anywhere. I danced and got a third beer. I was developing a taste for it, even though it wasn't on my diet.
The hell with it,
I thought.
I'll just do another half hour on the elliptical tomorrow and that'll take care of it.
I finished that beer and headed down the first-floor hall to the bathroom. Chad's door was closed, and I noticed the lights were off. I wondered where he was as I pushed my way through the saloon doorsâ
âand ran into Roger.
“Jordy!” His face lit up with a broad smile. He looked me up and down. “You lookâI mean,
wow,
you look amazing.”
My heart sank and my face flushed. He was the last person I wanted to run into. “Thanks,” I replied, stepping up to a urinal. I unzipped my pants, hoping he'd leave.
He didn't. He turned to a sink and started washing his hands. I finished and zipped up my pants. “You want to smoke a joint?”
I considered it for a moment. I was getting a good buzz from the beer, but the high I'd enjoyed earlier was gone.
What the hell,
I thought.
I'm not going to let anything happen with him, anyway.
“Sure.” I smiled at him. “That would be nice.”
We went to his room and he locked the door behind us. I sat down at his desk chair while he rolled one. “I called you a few times, but you never called me back,” he said, lighting it and passing it to me. “Why? Are you avoiding me?”
“Um, I was busy.” I inhaled deeply.
He blinked slowly. “I wanted to apologize to you,” he said. “And you don't have to worry about me trying anything again.” He held up both hands.
“You don't need to apologize to me.” I felt bad. He'd thought I was avoiding him because I was mad at him. I hadn't even given Hell Night a second thought. “I could have stopped it from happening.”
And for God's sake, it was just a fucking blow job.
“What happened between us on Hell Night was a mistake.” He took the joint back from me. “I don't want you to feel awkward about it. It was totally my fault. And I'm sorry.” He took a big hit, blowing the smoke out with a smile. “You're my little brother, and I want us to be friends. Just friends, Jordy. You don't have to worry aboutâ”
“Oh, Roger, don't feel bad about it. It just happened.” I shrugged. “It's not that big of a deal.”
“No, I feel bad because I took advantage of you. You were drunk and upset about Chad, and Iâ”
I started laughing. “Let's just forget about it, okay, Roger? Really, it's okay.” Impulsively I gave him a hugâwhich he held on to for just a moment too long. I pulled back and smiled at him. “Speaking of Chad, where is he? I haven't seen him at the party, and his lights are off.”
“Chad moved upstairs,” Roger replied. “I'm not surprised you didn't see him at the party.” He made a face. “He doesn't seem to want to let his boyfriend out of his room.”
“Boyfriend?” I couldn't have heard that right. “Chad has a boyfriend?”
“I know, right, can you believe it?” Roger laughed. “Poor thing has no idea what he's let himself in for.” He shook his head. “He's hot, too.” He touched my arm. “There but by the grace of God goes you, right?” He peered at me. “You are over Chad, aren't you? You don't stillâ”
“Don't be ridiculous,” I replied, giving him my phoniest smile. I faked a shudder. “I can't even imagine how miserable I'd be. I don't even want to think about that.”
A boyfriend? He has a boyfriend?
I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. I somehow managed to keep talking, or rather responding, to Roger as a weird numbness crept over me.
Get ahold of yourself. Just because he has a boyfriend doesn't mean it's going to last, and you need to make sure he has no idea how you feel. You can do this. You can act like it doesn't bother you in the least.
But part of me wanted to just get in my car and go home.
“He seems nice, too,” Roger prattled on. “They apparently met at Fusions Wednesday night.” I'd wanted to go but stayed home in case Chad showed up and spoiled my planned surprise, damn it all to hell, but on the other hand it would have sucked to have seen them meet and hook up. This was better. “Apparently he has a really good job, and seems smart, too. He graduated a couple of years ago and bought a house out in Avignonâ”
“Avignon?” It sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it.
“It's a suburb just west of town,” Roger explained. “Polk's one suburb.” He laughed. “Chad of course enjoyed every second of introducing him to me.” He shrugged, his eyes glittering with malice. “Of course this guy's only seen the
good
side of Chad and has no clue it's all an act. Chad is such a douche bag. I mean, they've been together what? All of three days? And Chad's already acting like they're ready to head to Canada and get married.” He laughed again, rolling his eyes. “They barely know each otherâonce this guy gets to know him better he'll be heading for the hills fast enoughâlike all of Chad's boyfriends do.”