Garden of the Moongate (24 page)

"I still feel terrible about just leaving you here," Lynn said to Allendre as they wrapped dishes in small towels and placed them in a cardboard box. "You've only been here five days, and New York can be awfully lonely if you're not used to it. Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I'll be fine," Allendre assured her, smiling wanly. "Besides, you and Neal have to go. I know he's eager to start his new job and the minister expects him to arrive this week, so…"

"Still, I don't like leaving you alone here," Lynn persisted, a worried frown marring her brow. "I know how upset you are about what happened, but it worries me to see you so quiet."

"I just need time to get my bearings, that's all," Allendre murmured, trying to smile again but not quite succeeding. "After all, it's not often a girl loses the man she loves
and
her job in only two days."

"It wasn't fair of Mr. Meredith to fire you," Lynn said heatedly. "Especially after saying he understood you were only trying to help Ric get Shannon House back into shape."

"Oh, Lynn, he had to fire me. What else could he do? If he didn't dismiss me, Ric threatened to sue him because I took the job at Shannon's, supposedly to spy. He said that was grossly unethical."

"The swine," Lynn muttered, shaking her head. "I don't see how he could be that vindictive."

Allendre lifted her shoulders, then let them fall as she breathed a sad little sigh. "Ah, well, I knew I didn't mean all that much to him. But… it did sort of come as a surprise when Mr. Meredith said the management at Shannon insisted I be fired."

"And you were only trying to help him get the hotel running smoothly again." With an impatient swipe of her hand, Lynn smoothed a wayward strand of hair back from her cheek. "Frankly, Allie, Patrick Shannon sounds like an ungrateful cad to me. I can't imagine what made you fall in love with him in the first place."

"Can't you?" Allendre said softly, reminiscently, sighing again. "Well, you saw him at the airport that day I left for Bermuda. You have to admit he's a very attractive man."

"Yes, I guess he is," Lynn conceded reluctantly. "But even that day he acted ill-tempered. When you stumbled over his feet, I thought he was going to glare a hole through you."

"Our relationship did begin pretty shakily. And it ended in disaster. So I guess it was only what happened between that was nice."

"What did happen?" Lynn asked very seriously, then shook her head. "No, forget I asked that. Sometimes I forget we're not still little girls, sharing all our secrets. We're grown up, and what happened to you in Bermuda is none of my business."

"Oh, of course it's your business," Allendre protested with a fond smile. "You're my cousin and I know you care about me, so I could tell you secrets— if I had any to tell. But I don't. Nothing happened in Bermuda that you need to worry about. I just fell in love with the wrong man. And I knew that all along. Ric's accustomed to sophisticated women, lots of them, and to him I was just a silly little girl."

"If he didn't realize you're worth more than all his other women put together, then he's not very bright," Lynn declared. "So you're better off without him."

"If you say so," Allendre murmured, appreciating her cousin's loyalty but not agreeing at all with her remark. She wasn't better off; in fact, she was quite miserable, and she knew it would be a very long time before she could even think of Ric without feeling a great sense of loss.

"He could have at least tried to understand why you did what you did," Lynn grumbled on, packing away the last dish. "Didn't you say you explained everything in that letter you wrote him during the flight back here?"

Allendre nodded. "Yes. I
tried
to explain I was only trying to help him, but I guess he might not be able to believe that. It was pretty stupid of me to have two jobs at the same time, even if I did plan to quit Meredith's after I found out the truth about the overcharging allegations. I guess it's only natural for Ric to believe I was spying, trying to dig up something to damage the excellent reputation Shannon House has always had."

"Hmmph! He should have believed you," Lynn said emphatically, surveying the now practically bare kitchen. "He should have realized that you're a very honest person."

Allendre arose from her chair, smoothing her denim skirt. "This is the last of the kitchen stuff in this box, isn't it?" she asked, changing the subject. The discussion of Ric was beginning to make her feel like crying, and she didn't want to spoil Lynn and Neal's departure. "Only a few more boxes in the bedrooms to take down to the van and we'll be done."

"Isn't it a good thing we bought that van instead of just a car?" Lynn asked, laughing. "I never realized we'd accumulated so many belongings in the two years we've been here. The van's going to be crammed full of junk when we finish."

Allendre lifted the box they had finished packing. "I'll take this down so Neal can try to fit it in somewhere. Be right back."

"Allie, wait," Lynn murmured urgently. "Are you really sure you're going to be all right here alone? I…"

"Stop worrying. I'll be fine." Shifting the box in her arms, Allendre smiled at her cousin. "Really, I will. If I can find a job soon, I'll sublease this place from you, and if I don't find one… Well, I suppose I could go stay with Mom and Dad for a while until I can find a different job in Chicago."

"But I hate to leave you here with no kitchen equipment or…"

"At least the apartment's furnished. And I can buy a few pots and pans, so please stop fretting about me," Allendre said, walking out the door. "I'll be fine."

Twenty minutes later, as Lynn carried the last box from the bedrooms down to the van, Allendre went into the diminutive bedroom she had been sleeping in. It was going to be lonely here without Lynn and Neal, but in a way, she felt a need to be alone. Perhaps when she didn't have to pretend to be cheerful all the time, she could finally accept the fact that she would never see Ric again. It wouldn't be easy, but she would have to do it. Massaging her shoulder wearily, she went into the tiny bathroom to wash the packing-crate dust from her hands. When she returned a minute later, Lynn was in her bedroom.

"Ready to go?" Allendre asked, tucking a strand of flaxen hair back behind her ear. "I guess you're getting all excited."

"I… guess," Lynn mumbled, shifting her feet and moving her hands as if she didn't quite know what to do with them. "Allie, I… you… there's something…"

"What's the matter?" Allendre questioned perplexedly. "Is something wrong? What are you trying to say?"

"She's trying to say you have a visitor," Ric said from the doorway, inclining his head as Allendre spun around, her eyes widening in disbelief. "Hello, Allendre. Your cousin here wasn't sure you'd want to see me."

"But he insisted on coming up anyway," Lynn said apologetically. "Should I get Neal? He's waiting for me, but…"

Still staring incredulously at Ric, Allendre shook her head. "No. No, that's all right." She gestured uncertainly. "If… if you and Neal are ready to leave, I d-don't want to keep you. It's getting late, and you don't want to have to drive all night."

"You're sure?" Lynn asked, glancing at Ric as if she expected him to sprout a mustache and twirl it villainously at any moment. "You'll be okay?"

"I promise I won't harm your cousin," Ric said, a hint of an unexpected smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I only came to talk."

Blushing, Lynn took Allendre's hand and practically dragged her out, across the living room to the front door. "Let me go get Neal, Allie," she whispered. "I don't want to leave you here alone with that man. He seems capable of doing anything."

"I suppose I'm relatively safe with him," Allendre whispered back, though she didn't really believe her own words. Twisting her trembling hands together in front of her, she glanced over her shoulder at the bedroom where he was apparently waiting for her. "I just wish I knew what he wants to talk about. But I guess I'll find out soon enough."

"At least walk me downstairs," Lynn said, her hand on the knob of the front door. "I can't just walk out of here and leave you with him."

Allendre shook her head and swallowed with difficulty. "No, I don't think I'd better go down with you. I might be too tempted to crawl into that van and let you take me to Vermont."

"Are you really afraid of him?" Lynn exclaimed softly. "Do you think he might hit you or something?"

"The 'or something' is what worries me," Allendre said, trying to be flippant, but her effort wasn't convincing. "No. I'm not really afraid he'll hit me. Ric's not that way, so you and Neal go on. And drive carefully."

Lynn hesitated, obviously reluctant to leave; then she squeezed Allendre's arm. "Okay, we'll go, but I'll call you first thing in the morning. And if that man has done anything to hurt you, I'll…"

"He won't. I know he won't." Smiling courageously, Allendre brushed a kiss across Lynn's cheek. "Don't worry. Just go." After the other girl opened the door and left very reluctantly, Allendre took a deep breath, but it did nothing to calm her shattered nerves. Why had he come? The only way to find out was to ask him, she decided, resolutely squaring her shoulders as she walked back into the bedroom. "Why d-don't we sit in the living room to talk?" she suggested, her voice embarrassingly shaky. "It's more comfortable."

"I'm comfortable enough right here," Ric declared softly, catching her wrist and hauling her into the room. When she tried to pull away, his strong fingers pressed down to the delicate bones.

"You're hurting me," she murmured accusingly. "And you promised Lynn you wouldn't."

Regret darkened his blue eyes for an instant, then vanished, but he loosened his grip somewhat, his thumb brushing slowly back and forth over the madly pounding pulse in her wrist. "Sorry."

Bending her head, Allendre took a deep breath. "Why have you come? How did you find me?"

"It wasn't easy. Your parents have been away from home the past three days, but I finally reached them this morning. Your mother told me you were here."

"But… why did you go to all that trouble?" she asked bewilderedly, trying not to reveal the emotions that were raging inside her. "I don't understand unless… unless it's more revenge you're after. Is… that why you've come?"

"I could have killed you when I discovered you'd run away," he said, his voice still deceptively low as he ignored her question completely. "Why did you do it? How could you just walk out that way?"

A humorless smile trembled on her lips as she looked up at him through the thick fringe of her lashes. "I couldn't just stay there and wait for you to toss me out, could I? I'm no masochist."

Ric's hands slid slowly up her bare arms to curve over her slim shoulders. "And what made you think I'd toss you out?"

"Wouldn't you have?"

"The thought never crossed my mind."

"I don't believe that," she muttered almost inaudibly. "You certainly weren't planning to let me stay."

"In some ways you don't know me at all, do you?" he whispered, a strange expression playing over his face. His hands moved, his fingers slipping into her hair, running lightly through the silky strands. "But you do know a little about me, don't you, Allendre? You know the effect you have on me when I hold you this way?"

Suddenly, she was enfolded in his muscular arms, and though she longed to stay there, she knew she must try to pull away. And when he held her fast, easily overcoming her effort to escape, she had to bite back the sob that rose in her throat. "Ric, please," she begged. "You're not being fair!"

"And you weren't fair when you walked out on me," he whispered near her ear, his warm breath stirring her hair. "I needed to talk to you that day, but you didn't trust me enough to stay."

"Trust you?" she cried, utterly confused. "What does that mean? I don't understand."

"You don't understand a lot of things, apparently," he answered, brushing his lips against her temple, drawing her closer as she trembled. "I mean you should've trusted me enough to let me hear your explanation. Your letter just didn't suffice, Allie."

"Obviously not!" she retorted, defensively angry now. "It didn't stop you from demanding that I be fired from Meredith's."

"Deb did that, Allendre," he said simply. "I didn't even know about it until I called Meredith's, trying to locate you. How could you think I'd be that vindictive?"

"You mean you…" Allendre's heart began to skip every other beat. "You didn't…"

"I had nothing whatsoever to do with your being fired." Pulling away slightly, he sought her bemused eyes. "Come on, Allie, admit it. That doesn't sound like something I'd do, does it?"

"Well… well, no…"

"But I think you can believe Deb could do it."

She did. It sounded exactly like something Deb would do. And as Allendre realized Ric had never purposefully tried to hurt her some of her pain was eased. At least he didn't hate her. But she still didn't know why he had sought her out, why he was here, tormenting her with his very nearness. So she asked why again.

"I need you," he answered very softly, his thumb pressing lightly into her small chin to tug her mouth open further as her lips parted. His head lowered, his eyes blazing into hers. His mouth covered the opening flower of her own, and as her breath mingled with his he gathered her closer with a soft groan, his lips hardening, devouring, demanding her submission. "God, how I need you!" he muttered roughly between kisses that deepened into intimate explorations. When his hands curved over her firm, rounded hips, arching her against his upsurging hardness, she drew away instinctively, and he allowed her to, his smile tender as her eyes fluttered open to meet his. "Come back with me. I do need you."

"I… I can't," she whispered, pulling away and rushing to the window. Staring down at the small, dimly lighted park across the street, she hugged her arms around her waist, trying to still the desire to run back to him, to let him do whatever he wanted to her. "I just can't."

"Why can't you?" he asked, coming to stand beside the bed, reaching out to trail his fingers over her bare arm. "You want to. Shannon House means something to you. I mean something to you. And I need to have you there."