Gay Bombay: Globalization, Love and (Be)longing in Contemporary India (44 page)

JOB, BUT I WOULD COUNT HIS SELECTION AS AN ACHIEVEMENT. SO

PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE THE ONES MAKING THE CHANGES. THAT IS WHAT

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IT BOILS DOWN TO. IRONICALLY, IF I WERE OUT AT MY POSITION IN

THE COMPANY AND IN MY PROFESSION, I WOULD BE AN OUTCAST.

BECAUSE I AM IN, I AM GIVEN ADMISSION INTO INNER CIRCLES AND

GIVEN OPPORTUNITIES TO INFLUENCE CHANGE. I BELIEVE I AM AN

ACTIVIST IN MY OWN WAY. FUNDAMENTALLY, BUSINESS IS NOT GOING

TO CHANGE IF YOU ATTACK IT FROM THE OUTSIDE. YOU HAVE TO EARN

YOUR STRIPES AND BE IDENTIFIED AS A PART OF THE BUSINESS IF YOU

WANT TO MAKE ANY CHANGES. OTHERWISE YOU ARE JUST ONE OF

THE LOONIES GOING AROUND. I THINK THE OTHER TYPE OF ACTIVISM

IS IMPORTANT TOO—BUT BY ITSELF, IT IS NOT ENOUGH. FRANKLY, THE

AWARENESS DOESN’T COME WITHOUT PEOPLE LIKE HIM, BUT CHANGE

DOESN’T COME WITHOUT PEOPLE LIKE US. IT CUTS BOTH WAYS.

For Nachiket, as for many of my interviewees, Gay Bombay’s appeal lay in the fact that it was not an activist organization. Karim explained—‘Our strength is not in gay activism and marching on the street, which is great and some of us do want to do that. But for the larger group, it is in creating safe spaces and helping gay people come into the community’.

Harbhajan pointed out that the parties that Gay Bombay organized at different venues all over the city were a kind of activism in their own way—‘an eye opener for the hotel manager and staff ’. Pratham opined that it was futile to just pick up political causes ‘to feel better about what we do…’.

WHAT DOES ONE MEAN BY ACTIVISM? A GUY PROACTIVELY COMING

TO A PARTY IS AN ACTIVIST TOO. EVERYONE IS AN ACTIVIST. PLACES

LIKE HUMSAFAR ARE POLITICAL ACTIVISM. POLITICAL ACTIVISM IS NO

LONGER THE CENTRE OF THE WHOLE HOMOSEXUAL IMAGE NOW. AT

ONE POINT, FROM AN OUTSIDER’S POINT OF VIEW, POLITICAL ACTIVISM

THAT HUMSAFAR DID OR THE WORK DONE WITH HOMOSEXUALS WAS

WHAT WAS THE DEFINING VIEW. NOWADAYS, WHEN THE MEDIA WRITES

ABOUT THE GAY COMMUNITY, IT IS NOT NECESSARILY ABOUT ACTIVISM;

IT IS ABOUT PARTIES AND OTHER THINGS. SO I SUPPOSE THE PUBLIC

PERCEPTION HAS BECOME BROADER.

But Senthil, while agreeing with Pratham and Harbhajan that being social was its own kind of activism, was perplexed as to how this could not translate into a political statement. According to him, this extreme aversion to political activism was a myopic position to adopt and emblematic of Straight Expectations
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the intrinsic failure of the middle class that most of Gay Bombay’s members counted themselves as members of—

THIS IS THE BIGGEST CRITICISM OF THE MIDDLE CLASSES THAT GAY

BOMBAY IS A SYMBOL OF. IT IS SO AVERSE TO THE IDEA OF POLITICS.

THERE’S A MORAL JUDGMENT AGAINST IT THAT IT’S WRONG. IT’S NOT

FOR US. IT’S AGAINST EVERYTHING WE ARE ABOUT. IT’S WRONG IF YOU

LIVE IN A SPACE AND WANT IT TO EXIST AND GROW, POLITICAL GROUPS

HAVE TO HAVE A SAY IN IT…. LET’S NOT BE AVERSE TO IT. YOU CAN’T

BE ANTI-POLITICS.

The Importance of Coming Out, Closeted Men

and Married Gay Men

Most of the respondents were appreciative of Gay Bombay’s non-

judgmental policy with regard to their status as out or closeted. As Karim noted—‘We cannot force guys to come out of the closet, lead an open gay lifestyle; we can just help guys help themselves. We can just create spaces for them’. However, critics like Gopal and Rahim argued that this policy, coupled with the social focus of the group was creating a feeling of complacency among people who accessed its spaces—and falsely leading them on to believe that they were out just because they had attended a gay event in a safe space, when in fact, it was nothing more than a ‘High Tech Closet’.26 The challenge, as Rahim noted, lay in being visible ‘outside the safe spaces we have created for ourselves’ and this was simply not happening with Gay Bombay. He was critical that several people from Gay Bombay had posted excitedly on the group about attending events like San Francisco Pride and New York Pride, but the same people, when called, refused to show up at a Humsafar-led silent walk in Bombay to commemorate World AIDS day. ‘A gay man from

Bombay, dancing on the streets of San Francisco or New York is going to make no difference to Bombay. I need a few faces to be seen at a certain place, where showing a few faces would make a difference. But I do not see this’.

Humsafar was also presumed to be too harsh towards married gay

men. One of my married interviewees recounted his experience of going to one of Humsafar’s events and then receiving a call from them the
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following day asking him not to come to any future events because of his married status. He contrasted this with Gay Bombay’s acceptance of him into their fold. Karim explained Gay Bombay’s approach to this issue—

ONE OF THE POSITIONS THAT THE GROUP DOES TAKE IS THAT IT IS

WRONG TO BE MARRIED TO SOMEBODY [IF] THE WOMAN DOES NOT

KNOW ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY. IF SHE KNOWS AND IS OKAY WITH IT,

THEN IT’S DIFFERENT. MOST OF US ARE QUITE WILLING TO BE SYM-

PATHETIC AND TO BE FRIENDS WITH SUCH GUYS, BUT THAT SYMPATHY

SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN TO IMPLY THAT ONE APPROVES OF WHAT

THE MARRIED GAY GUY HAS DONE AND TO SUGGEST THAT GAY GUYS

MARRYING WOMEN WITHOUT COMING OUT TO THEM IS IN ANY WAY

THE RIGHT COURSE OF ACTION TO TAKE. GUYS WHO DO THIS KNOW

THAT WE DISAPPROVE, SO THEY DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM THE

MEETS. THEY MAY STILL COME FOR THE PARTIES—A LOT OF MARRIED

GUYS COME FOR THE PARTIES. BUT THEY KNOW THAT THEY AREN’T

100 PER CENT WELCOME AT THE MEETS.

HIV

Several respondents, including Isaac and Asim, attributed Gay Bombay’s tremendous success to its no-sex policy. Pulkit too indicated that this policy, though an indicator of the group’s ‘prudish values that come from the straight community’, had served it well. However, for the respondents who were involved in voluntary HIV prevention work like Bhudev, this attitude was ‘anti-sexual’ and more devastatingly, ‘HIV phobic’. ‘They do not like to talk about sex. For them, gay is a lifestyle’. This squeamishness with anything sexual meant that health issues like risky behaviour and the huge HIV crisis that the community was facing, were being swept under the carpet. Rahim was very concerned—

THE DIFFERENCE THAT I SAW ON MY VISIT TO THE US AND IN INDIA IS

THAT IN THE US, AN AVERAGE MIDDLE CLASS GAY MAN IS VERY AWARE

OF HEALTH ISSUES AND HIS RISK BEHAVIOR. IN BOMBAY, I DON’T THINK

IT MATTERS. FOR ME WHAT WAS MOST SHOCKING WAS THAT LAST YEAR,

WE DID A HUGE STUDY—A 10-MONTH STUDY. THE FINDINGS OF THAT

STUDY, INCLUDING THAT OF A LARGER SURVEY WE HAVE CONDUCTED

FOR FOUR YEARS INDICATE THAT 17–20 PER CENT OF THE GAY MEN IN

Straight Expectations
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THE CITY ARE HIV POSITIVE! THIS IS A VERY HIGH FIGURE, BUT IT HAS

BEEN STABLE FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS.
MID-DAY
CARRIED A HUGE

STORY SAYING 20 PER CENT OF BOMBAY’S GAY MEN ARE HIV POSITIVE.

BUT THE FIRST REACTION FROM THE GAY COMMUNITY IN BOMBAY WAS

ANGER. OUR WHOLE IDEA OF THE SURVEY AND FINDINGS WAS TO TAKE

THIS ISSUE TO THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY, NOT CREATE SENSATIONAL

HEADLINES. BUT OK, ON SECOND THOUGHTS, MAYBE I SAID, PEOPLE

WILL NOW GET UP AND REALIZE. BELIEVE ME, FOR THE TWO WEEKS

FOLLOWING THE SURVEY, THROUGH INTERNET LISTS… I HAD 120 RE-

QUESTS FOR THE COPY OF THE STUDY AND NOT ONE REQUEST FROM

BOMBAY! I WAS SO DEMORALIZED. WHY AM I DOING WHAT I AM DOING

WHEN PEOPLE DON’T GIVE A FUCK? WHEN NOBODY IS BOTHERED.

A LARGE AMOUNT OF WORK THAT HAPPENS AT HUMSAFAR, CENTRES

AROUND THE LOWER INCOME GROUP—MSMS—BUT THE SURVEY AND

STUDIES THAT WE HAVE CONDUCTED HAVE LOOKED AT DIFFERENT

INCOME GROUPS. THE FEAR IS THAT IF YOU ARE A PART OF HIGHER IN-

COME GROUPS IN BOMBAY, YOU MAY THINK THAT HIV IS SOMETHING

THAT ONLY LOWER INCOME MSM PEOPLE IN BOMBAY HAVE; BUT IT IS

NOT TRUE. I WAS TALKING TO AN 18-YEAR OLD WHO IS A GAY BOMBAY

REGULAR AND I ASKED HIM HOW OFTEN HIV WAS DISCUSSED AMONG

HIS FRIENDS. HE SAID ‘NEVER’. NOW IF FOR AN 18-YEAR OLD TODAY, IT IS

NOT AN ISSUE AT ALL, THEN IT IS VERY DANGEROUS. ARE WE GROWING

UP WITH A GENERATION THAT IS IMMUNE TO THE DANGERS POSED BY

HIV OR ARE WE GROWING UP WITH A GENERATION THAT IS JUST NOT

AWARE? BOTH ARE SCARY.

ONE OF THE POINTS RAISED BY GAY BOMBAY PEOPLE WAS THAT IF

THE PREVALENCE RATE IS SO HIGH, WE DON’T SEE SO MANY PEOPLE

DYING. BUT I AM SEEING. WHAT YOU ARE NOT SEEING, I AM SEEING. DO

YOU REALIZE THAT THERE MAY BE PEOPLE WHO COME TO GAY BOMBAY

MEETS AND PARTIES TO SOCIALIZE, BUT THEY COME TO ME BECAUSE

THEY ARE POSITIVE? HE IS STILL GOING TO THE GROUP AND DANCING

AND TALKING. BUT HE HAS NOT BEEN ABLE TO TELL THE GROUP HIS

STATUS. SO THAT IS A DRAWBACK ON THE PART OF GAY BOMBAY. FORGET

THE FEAR THAT HE MAY BE INFECTING OTHERS… THE RIGHT MESSAGE

HAS TO GO THROUGH.

Registration

The people that I interviewed affiliated with Humsafar were disappointed that Gay Bombay had not got itself registered formally as a charitable
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organization. This, they felt would give them official stature in the eyes of the law and also enable them to be part of initiatives like INFOSEM

(Indian Network for Sexual Minorities), an umbrella groups of organizations working all over India on issues of sexuality, health and human rights. However, the members of Gay Bombay’s core group were reluctant to do so for a variety of reasons—first and foremost, the unpopularity of this measure among most of its members and second, even if the group wanted to be registered, it would have to do so under a health agenda, like Humsafar, as there was ‘no standard in Indian law’ (Harbhajan) that would recognize Gay Bombay’s profile. Karim stated that the group had no pressing needs for registration of any kind—

WE ARE NOT AN AMBITIOUS GROUP. WE ARE ALSO SELF-SUSTAINABLE.

PRESSURE OF LOTS OF EXTERNALLY FUNDED GROUPS IS THERE TO

PERFORM; HAVE LONG-TERM PLANS AND SO ON; BY FUNDING AGENCIES

NATURALLY. WE DON’T HAVE FUNDING AGENCIES. WE HAVE VERY FEW

EXPENSES—A SMALL MARK UP ON SOME PARTIES GOES TO FUND OUR

ACTIVITIES LIKE WEBSITE AND SO ON. NO LONG-TERM PLANS AND

AMBITIONS.

∗ ∗ ∗

While the points of disagreement were many, I also saw enough indications that bridges between the two organizations and the viewpoints they represent could and indeed, were being built. To start with, most of the interviewees, even while expressing critical views, were deeply appreciative of the work being carried out by both organizations.

David Woolvine (2000) has called this ‘tactical pragmatism’—or the ‘ability to distance [oneself] from [certain] organizations and from some of the goals or tactics of the organizations while at the same time supporting the organizations’.27

GUL: I THINK HUMSAFAR IS GOOD—AT LEAST THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE

FIGHTING FOR US. I DON’T THINK I COULD DO THE SAME. I DON’T

HAVE THE BOLDNESS AND STRENGTH THEY HAVE.

OM: I WONT BE ANTI-HUMSAFAR OR ANTI-GAY BOMBAY—HUMSAFAR

IS DOING GOOD WORK. HUMSAFAR HAS THE INFRASTRUCTURE

AND THE GOVERNMENT SUPPORT THAT THE COMMUNITY NEEDS

RIGHT NOW. GAY BOMBAY IS ALSO DOING GOOD WORK.

Straight Expectations
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RAHIM: HUMSAFAR MAY BE DOING CERTAIN WORK. I AM NOT AT ALL

DISCREDITING GAY BOMBAY, THEY ARE ALSO DOING THEIR

OWN WORK… AS LONG AS WE ARE NOT OBSTRUCTING

EACH OTHER’S WORK AND ALL CONTRIBUTING…

HARBHAJAN: ALL OF THEM ARE PLAYING A ROLE… IF I LAND UP AT GAY

BOMBAY AND NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING

ABOUT, I WILL FEEL ISOLATED. I MAY DISCOVER A BETTER

PLACE IN ANOTHER GROUP. SIMILARLY FOR ME, I WAS DIS-

ILLUSIONED AT HUMSAFAR, BUT I FOUND MY PLACE AT

GAY BOMBAY. THESE COMMUNITIES WITHIN THE LARGER

GROUP ALL HELP EACH OTHER. YOU FIND YOUR CLIQUE

SOMEWHERE.

Second, I felt that it was too pat to simplify, as many of my interviewees seemed to do, that Humsafar is equal to
kothis
,
hijras
, HIV work and hatred of married gay men, while Gay Bombay is equal to dance parties, upper class people and Internet. I observed that Humsafar organized social events regularly, for example, a weekly open-to-all meeting at its premises called ‘Sunday High’, which took the form of discussions, film screenings and sometimes live performances. They also organized New Year’s Eve parties, regular Friday town hall style gatherings and other smaller scale events. Likewise, despite criticisms of sex phobia and drag phobia, I gathered that Gay Bombay had organized a drag party privately, in one of the core group member’s homes and also held well-attended community events like workshops on safe sex, including HIV. For example, a Gay Bombay Hepatitis B vaccination drive that included providing free vaccinations along with an information session on STDs, had 63 people in attendance on a Sunday afternoon.28 Other interesting events have included meetings on financial planning (3 October 2004) and on knowing the law (25 September 2005). Moreover, its website is a useful provider of HIV-related information, including gay-friendly testing centres in and around Bombay. In 2007, the group started the GB Poz online forum as an offshoot of the main group, ‘to discuss, provide support and share stories about what it means to be gay and positive and living in India.’29 Again, despite the notion that Humsafar was anti-married gay men, I discerned that a lot of their services, including HIV-related and other type of counselling, were directed towards married gay men and their spouses, across all income categories.

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