Genetic Attraction (16 page)

She looked down at her hands in her lap. Oh, what the fuck. “They are.”

“What?”

“They"re bisexual.”

“So, you were cheating on your associate researcher with his lover in that hotel? Or he was cheating or…what?” He sounded half-incredulous and half-shocked.

“No.”

“So you didn"t have sex with Roan Black?”

“Oh yes, I have had a lot of sex with Roan Black, including in that hotel.” Isaac just looked more confused, and she took a deep breath. “It"s just that in that hotel, Jake didn"t happen to be there too.”

“Too?”

“Too.”

“Holy shit!”

“I think you"re starting to get the picture.”

120

Tara Lain

Chapter Nineteen

Isaac had gotten most of the scandalous details on the rest of their ride and was now sitting in her living room sipping sauvignon blanc.

“I guess the real question, Em, is are you in love with these guys?”

She sighed and took another slug of wine. “The only answer I can give you is I can"t be. Since to be with them would pretty much ruin everything I"ve built my life around, not to mention do a number on Jake"s career, I have to wish them happiness with each other and walk away. Try to toe the line with the faculty and the university and hope they forget.”

“What the hell business is it of the faculty"s anyway?”

She appreciated that he asked the question. “Oh, Isaac, you"ve been in academia long enough to know that the faculty council"s business is anything they say it is.”

“I suppose. Look, Em, I can see you really care for these two men.” He gave a little laugh. “I don"t remember ever seeing the line „two men" in a romantic story before.”

She smiled. “You don"t read the right books.”

He spit a little wine as he laughed. “Anyway, in spite of how much you care, are you determined to go through with this new-leaf turning? Giving them up?”

Was she? “I feel like the cowardly lion that decided to be brave and then said

„somebody talk me out of it." But yeah, I guess so.”

“Can I help?”

“What? How?”

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He leaned forward, wine propped on his knees. “Look, I like you. I"m kind of intrigued by the fact that I find your affair with two men
at the same time
to be pretty sexy.”

He saw her frown and held up his hands. “No, I"m not trying to horn in. I don"t want to push you at all. Actually, if what the rumor mills say about Roan Black"s endowment is true, I certainly don"t want to try to compete right away.” She giggled. He really was cute. “But can we just hang out? Do some things together?

I"m new in town, so you can think of yourself as my tour guide. And maybe it will take some of the edge off for you. Show Kovak and the Holy Inquisition that you"ve moved on…” Again, she looked askance, and he rushed on. “In appearances only.”

Okay, it was deep breath time. He was really nice and this was not an unreasonable request. In fact it was very kind and thoughtful and—appropriate.

But it made the reality of her situation too real. It made her want to scream and run and never stop running. She took another deep breath. “Okay.”

She got an arched eyebrow. “Ah, the return of the single word. Okay, I"ll do the talking. How about we start with Kovak"s Halloween costume party on Saturday?

You know, the one you"re dreading? Let"s go together and make it more endurable and maybe take a little heat off the tabloid stories.”

She shook her head. “They"ll just think I"m a bigger slut than they already do, sleeping with Roan and you.”

“Maybe. Could happen.” He grinned. “Wanna go anyway?”

Her mama"s energy stiffened her backbone. Silvays didn"t run and sure as hell didn"t hide. Em might not have Shakti"s balls, but she could pretend. She looked at Isaac and nodded slowly.

“Less than a monosyllable.” She smiled. He went on as if she wasn"t cringing at his every word. “So have you got a costume hidden in a closet?”

“Strangely enough, I do. Mary made me this Grecian goddess thing last year. I could just wear it again.”

“Aphrodite?” He waggled his eyebrows, wringing another small smile from her.

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Tara Lain

“Probably more like Artemis. There"s a bow.”

“Yes, the virgin goddess.
Very
appropriate for the occasion.” This time he got a full-on laugh.

“If not very convincing.”

“Okay. I"ll come up with something for me.”

She pointed with her chin. “Those boots are a good starting place.”

“Excellent idea.”

* * *

What did she hope to accomplish? Maybe just to pour her heart out. She dialed and listened.

“Speak or forever hold your peace,” came the much-expected reply.

“Hi, Mom.”

There was a pause. “Emmaline?”

“You got any other females who call you mom?”

“Well, shit, sweetheart, it"s not Christmas. You can"t blame me for being surprised.”

“I know, I know.” She called her mother on holidays and birthdays but hardly any other time. Usually her mom called her.

“Hey, sweetheart, I"m not complaining. What can I do for you?”

What could she do for her? What was she doing? Em collapsed on her couch and put her head on the arm. “Sorry, Mom, I have no idea. I shouldn"t have called.”

“Okay, baby, give. What the fuck is the matter? I doubt you"re looking for advice on gene splicing.”

“Sequencing.”

“Whatever.”

Em took a deep breath. “I just have a situation.”

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“Man?”

“Two.”

There was a gutsy chuckle. “Best kind of situation.”

“Yeah, well, tell that to my university.”

“They hassling you, baby?”

“Kind of. Yeah.”

“Ivory towers are notoriously bad for love, kiddo.”

Em had to smile a little.

“You telling me you love two guys, or what?”

Ouch. Right in the heart. “Yeah, I guess that"s what I"m telling you.”

“One of them that boy toy?”

“Yeah.”

“And the other one?”

“His gay lover.”

A short pause. “Shit, honey. You said gay. So how does that work? You"re in love with him too?”

“Yes.”

“And how does he feel about you?”

“I think he loves me back. No, I know he does.”

“So he"s not gay?”

“He says he likes a few women, and I"m it. Oh, Mom, he"s something special.”

“Jesus, he must be if you love him, honey.”

That struck home. She loved him. Them. Her mom had been waiting twenty years to hear her say that, and she had to break the bad news.

That gutsy voice still sounded amazed. “So, you really mean you have two guys. And you mean at the same time, don"t you, Em?
Really
at the same time.”

“Yeah, that"s what I mean. A ménage.”

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Tara Lain

The low laugh filled the phone. “Oh honey, you"re gonna one-up your old mom.”

“Not sure if that was a goal I was striving for, much as I love and admire you.”

“Hey, kiddo, these things can work. I"ve seen it. You remember Jill and Bobby and Hank. They"ve been together twenty-plus years now, happy as three peas, so to speak.”

“Yeah, I know people in your world do things like this, but in mine they don"t.”

“Only one world, hon. You either get to be happy in it or you don"t.”

“I wish it was that simple. It"s really a long story, but the university found out about one of them. There are pictures in the papers. I know my job will be lost, all my research gone if I stay with Jake and Roan.” She ran her free hand through her hair and pulled as if somehow that could straighten it all out. “God, I can"t walk away and give it all up. I can"t.”

“Emmaline, you always amaze me. From total immersion in work for fifteen years with no man on the horizon, to a relationship that rips the lid off convention.

You don"t do things halfway.”

“Yeah. Like my mom.”

Shakti chuckled. “But remember, Em, everything"s simple once you make a choice.”

“I feel like all my choices were made for me.”

“Then you"re not seeing straight, Emmaline. You"re free, baby. You"ve always got a choice. That"s what I taught you. That"s what you know.”

That’s what I know.

Is it?

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Chapter Twenty

Jake held Roan"s beautiful face cradled in his hands. “I love you, baby.”

“You don"t have to do this.”

Jake smiled and felt it all the way to his heart. “Yeah, I do.” He stared at those gorgeous green eyes surrounded by black liner that made them look twice as large.

The soft, Angelina lips had been slightly rouged. “This to me is like your tattoo is for you. It"s my declaration of independence.” He moved over to their big bed and sorted through the pile of garments.

Roan, already dressed, adjusted his makeup in the wardrobe mirror. “Where in hell did you come up with this idea?”

“Remember that girl I took to the dance last year?”

“Your little girlfriend?” Roan grinned.

“
Not
my girlfriend.” Jake clasped a cape around his shoulder, and Roan, ever the fashionista, came over and adjusted it. “Anyway, she was doing her doctorate on Alexander the Great. I spent a couple of weird dinners hearing about Alexander"s love life at the same time I was struggling with my feelings for you.”

“Well, God bless Alexander. He must have swung my way.”

“That"s the point.” Jake looked at himself in the mirror and took a deep breath.

“Let"s do this?”

“You sure, my darling?”

“Completely.”

The crooked tooth flashed. “Time to take on the world.”

* * *

126

Tara Lain

I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this
. Her new fucking mantra. She struggled into the golden waist cinch on her Grecian costume.

Shit, it was shorter than she remembered. After all, Artemis was the huntress—no dragging around in long skirts for her. Last year she hadn"t thought about the draping that varied from midthigh to her knee, but this year—another story.

Jesus, working all night sounded good. But she"d probably be more obvious in her absence than her presence. She strapped on the midcalf-high sandals and put a golden circlet on her forehead. Her hair curled around her shoulders. No ponytail tonight.

Her stomach lurched, and she felt bile rise in her throat.
What, dammit
? She didn"t want to think about anything. She"d get through this evening, smile at Kovak, and suppress the growing fury she felt for the man. She could do it—for the work, for Jake"s career. She could knuckle under, toe the line, and all the other appropriate phrases. No matter what her mother said, it just wasn"t that simple. It wasn"t about her being happy. Her work made her happy. Her men made her happy.

Now she had to choose, and the forces of nature and the university said she had to choose her work. That"s the way it was. She"d chosen.

She took a sip of water from her bathroom sink to rinse her mouth, blew her nose, touched up her lipstick, and headed downstairs.

Her voicemail light was blinking. She pushed the button, and a deep male voice said, “Dr. Silvay, this is Marshall Ehrlich. I sent you an e-mail a few days ago.

I have a proposal I"d like to discuss with you…” Her doorbell sounded. She clicked off the voicemail and went to the door.

Well step up and say howdy
. Isaac leaned against the door jamb in full cowboy regalia, in which the notorious boots were only the beginning. Chaps covered his jeans, a spangled, fringed red shirt and black vest almost outshone the big belt buckle, and his sandy hair was topped with a black Stetson. Pretty adorable, despite her mood. “Howdy, Tex.”

He gave her a slow once-over. “I think I may take up goddess worship.”

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“Is it too much?”

“Just enough.”

She grabbed a coat to cover the bareness of her costume, and they headed out to his SUV.

Far too quickly, they were at Kovak"s townhouse complex. The party was in some kind of community building out back, since the good doctor"s house wasn"t up to the rigors of forty people in costumes that often limited their vision and mobility.

Big skirts were hard on the tchotchkes.

As they walked into the party, she had to smile. The gathering seemed to be divided between those who wanted to embody their favorite historical characters and those that wanted to be superheroes. There was a dashing array of lightsabers and capes to accompany the panniered skirts, white wigs, and snuffboxes.

“Man,” Isaac whispered. “I"ve never seen a Halloween party where everyone comes in costume.”

“Kovak makes it pretty clear that people had better wear a costume if they want to stay in his good graces. He just wants the chance to strut around as Sherlock Holmes for a night, his big hero.”

Isaac chuckled. “From what you"ve told me, Machiavelli might have been a better choice.”

“Or Jack the Ripper.”

“Well, my goddess, how about a drink?”

They pushed their way through to the portable bar that, of course, was a cash proposition—how very Kovak. As they got their wine, she could feel the eyes of other faculty members on her. When she looked up, they quickly glanced away. She leaned in to Isaac. “Does this costume look really slutty?”

“Naw, it"s just that the more gossipy of the faculty have made sure the others see the story. It"ll take them a few days to get over the excitement, I expect.”

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Tara Lain

“I see.” And she did see. Something so important to her that it was ripping her heart to shreds was just a moment"s juicy gossip to them. They would get over it.