Get In Her Mind, Get In Her Bed (5 page)

Once you establish physical contact in the relationship, there is no turning back. From that point it will be expected and welcome. The innocent touching will soon lead to something more sensual such as a back rub. Once she begins to touch you, you need to be able to respond. Touch her back without hesitation.

Here is an example conversation in a bar setting of how to move through the touch barrier.

You: “Hey my name’s Nick, how are you doing?” 

Her: “Good I’m Natalie.” 

You: “Nice to meet you Natalie.” Shaking her hand with both hands.

Repeating her name back to her does two things, it helps you remember it later, and women like to hear men say or call them by name. This could get her immediate interest and pave the way for a smooth pick up.

Her: “What brings you out tonight?” 

You: “I’m sorry, it’s loud in here.” While pointing to your ear. 

Her: “I said what brings you out tonight?” She leans forward so I can hear her better.

By telling her you can't hear her, you have invited her into your personal space and she will accept. This is not threatening in nature, but what you are actually doing is making your way through the zones, and bringing down her walls.

You: In a sarcastic tone, “Me? Oh you know I came to dance. The guy’s and I were talking, we had a stressful week, so we came here to let it all out on the dance floor!” Taking a small step forward in her direction. 

Her: Laughing, “Yeah I’m sure that’s it!” While hitting you on the arm. 

You: Grabbing your arm, “You pack quite the punch, you must be a gym rat!” 

Her: “Oh yeah check out these guns!” While flexing 

You: Feeling her muscle, “It’s rock solid, I can already tell my arm will be sore for a week, you owe me a back rub!” 

Her: “I might have to take you up on it.” 

If she says something flirtatious like that, you are in. It really doesn't matter what she says because you are being flirtatious and you put it in her mind to touch you. No matter what she says respond with this:

You: “In the meantime, how about a dance, I told you that’s what I came her for. Shall we?” While giving her your arm. 

Her: Laughing, “Sure!”

This will work every time. The dance further allows you both to become comfortable touching and in such close proximity with one another.

There is no magic secret to approaching a woman. No sure fire pickup line that works every time. What worked for one girl may fail on the next twenty. Everyone has their own style, what works for them, what they are comfortable with. If I knew a one size fit all routine that worked on any woman at any time, this would have been a ten page book selling for hundreds of dollars. Lucky for us, every target has its own unique challenge. We learn from every pickup, successful or not. Sure it sucks to be shot down, but we grow from it. We learn what worked and the signals she was giving us. To be able to read her body language from the moment she starts to become disinterested, so that we can change the interaction back in our favor. The more we know, the easier it will be to control any and every situation, to the point where there will be no woman that will turn us down, because we know how to counteract every possibility.

YES/NO: Picking Up On Her Signals

I was seeing this one girl, and she had amazing tits. I had been out with her a few times and I started to notice something she did. She always sat with her hands together, almost like she was praying but her forearms were always perpendicular to her body resting on her legs or the table. I didn’t really think much of this, it was just something I noticed. Now this girl didn't wear boob shirts but she always had cleavage. We would be talking and my eyes would always drift down to her chest, and she picked up on that. That’s not entirely bad but we will address that later. Finally, it dawned on me what she was doing. She was putting her tits out on display for me. She was presenting them to me, basically saying, here I am, take me. This was probably our third date, and sure enough that night I knew that I got my yes signal so I pushed the issue a little more and we ended up taking things to the next level. She had been giving me this yes signal ever since we met but it wasn’t until I picked up on it that I could use it to my advantage.

Throughout your interaction with a woman, she will be sending signals. We have already talked about some of these signals. The signals she sends with her eyes to tell you she is interested. The signal she sends with a smile to show interest. Some of these signals will be good and some will be bad. Let’s call them “yes” signals and “no” signals. “Yes” signals will be signals that you are sending to or receiving from a woman that say, “I want you, come get me, I'm interested in you, lets progress this forward, take me home, I want you to screw my brains out.” “No” signals will be Just the opposite. Signals that you don’t want to see and if you do you need to right the situation or skew the situation in your favor. No signals will be things that are saying, “I’m not interested, you just turned me off, you said the wrong thing.” You can over come all that crap so don’t worry about a no signal. We will discuss that in the next chapter.

We have already discussed some of the eye contact signals to look for. Now lets take a look at some of the other signals a woman will send using body language.

Lips

Next to the eyes, the second most visual signal comes from the mouth. Lips can say a lot of things without words. Lipstick is used by women to draw attention to their mouth and exaggerate the signals that are sent by them. Continually staring at the mouth is a sign that she wishes to kiss you.

Parted Lips

Lips that are slightly parted is the first stage in speaking, and means that the individual would like to talk to you. A lot of times, once I am engaged with a woman, I will look at her with my lips ever so slightly parted. For one it makes my lips look a little fuller, thus more appealing. I’m hoping subconsciously she will take this as a yes signal that I'm sending to her, that I want to kiss her. At the very least it draws her attention to my lips and gets her thinking about them; a kiss is logically the next place her mind goes.

Licking the Lips

Licking the lips is a deliberate signal that indicates desire. It is sexually enticing and used in foreplay or as a quick tease. Refer back to the section on eye contact and holding a gaze. Once eye contact is made, slightly narrow your eyes while holding her gaze. At the same time touch your tongue to your lips as to wet them. Again, don’t lick the hell out of your lips excessively. Just touch your tongue to your upper lip. It is a mannerism used to work on her sex subconscious. A woman will often do the same thing, wetting her lips while holding eye contact. This just further reinforces the fact that she is interested and you should be on your way over to her.

Smiling

Smiling indicates pleasure or approval. A full smile engages the whole face and involves the eyes. If only the lips are involved then the smile is most likely forced and they are trying to show their approval, but may actually feel differently toward the situation. Think of when you walk into an elevator and make eye contact with the person standing there. You force a smile and so do they, but in reality you are probably both a little uncomfortable and feel your space bubble is being invaded. However, when in a social setting you should treat a forced smile as an invite to approach.

Laughing

Laughter is a smile that shows even greater pleasure or approval. Women will laugh at men they like, so if they laugh at one of your lame jokes, they like you. Being funny is deemed as non threatening or harmless and it helps break down barriers.

The Face

The face contains thousands of tiny muscles used together to create hundreds of expressions and display any number of emotions. A woman’s hair does more for her then just enhance her beauty. She can use it as a barrier, draw your attention, or send signals your way. All it takes is a little flip of the hair.

Head Tilt

Tilting the head forty five degrees to the left or right indicates interest in you or what is being said at the time. When the head is tilted, the carotid artery on the side of the neck is exposed, it is a sign of submission and vulnerability.

Blushing

A red face may indicate that the target is hot as the blood comes to the surface to be cooled. In a social setting this is usually from embarrassment or emotional arousal. For example, when a woman becomes excited and energized her face and or neck will become red. Everyone will blush in various ways. Some people's neck goes red, with others it is mostly the cheeks, sometimes the whole face goes red. When a woman has an orgasm, her face goes flush. On a physiological level, it’s the same thing going on inside during sex to cause the red face as when in a social setting. Take this as a sign that she is interested.

Tossing the Hair

Tossing the head throws the hair backwards drawing attention to it. She is saying, “Hey, guys, wouldn't you like to stroke my gorgeous long, hair!'” Long hair that covers the eyes can be used as a barrier to help the target feel more comfortable in social situations. Pulling the hair back exposes the face, opening the doors for communication.

Stroking the Hair

Stroking the hair is a preening gesture, to reassure that everything is in place and they look their best to attract a potential mate. It is also a flirtatious signal that invites the person of attraction to play with their hair. Once you are engaged in conversation she will continue to preen saying to you, "Look at me, don’t you like me, look how beautiful I am." She does it as a way to make you interested in her.

Revealing the Neck

This is a key signal that includes many interpretations. A woman with long hair will reveal the neck by brushing her hair back. It is a preening gesture that allows the target to fix her hair and put it in place to look more attractive, as we discussed above. This action will draw attention to herself and her hair, inviting you to stroke it. Women use their hair as a barrier. By moving it out of the way she is inviting you to open communication with her. Lastly it is a submissive move. In the animal kingdom when two animals fight the weaker animal will submit defeat by lying down and giving their neck to their opponent. It is their way of saying, you are dominate over me.

Women are conscious of their appearance at all times. When they see an object of desire, they check themselves to present their best appearance. They wish to present themselves in the best light possible to attract a future mate. From constantly checking their appearance to sitting in a flattering position, a woman will do what it takes to attract your attention.

Primping

Women always want to look their best to attract the men they want. When women see a guy they find attractive they will primp themselves to make sure they look their best to catch his attention. Fixing her hair, checking her makeup, adjusting her clothing for a better fit, or sitting up in her seat are all signs of primping. You know the target is into you based on what she does when walking away from you. The two of you have hit it off and have been talking for thirty minutes or so. She excuses herself to use the restroom, go talk to her friends, whatever the reason, watch what she does as she gets up. If she is into you she will run her hands down the back of her clothing. The reason being is she wants to present the best appearance possible to you, even as she is walking away, she wants to show off that “ass” in the most attractive manner.

Seated Position

The most appealing sign a woman can give is to sit with one leg pressed on top of the other. This gesture makes the legs appear very well toned. A hand on the thigh completes the position and is definitely considered a call for attention. The body has a mind of its own. Many times our subconscious thoughts are seen in the actions of our body. Many examples of this are pointers. We use various body parts to show others the direction we wish to travel. This can be done with any part of the body. No matter how hard we try to hide our true intentions, the truth eventually comes out.

Pointers

One thing to look for is the direction in which a woman crosses her legs. The crossing of her legs toward you is a yes signal. She is interested, and more importantly she wants you to take things up a notch. If she crosses her legs toward you and makes and or holds contact with you, that’s even better.

Touching Herself

Touching a particular part on her body draws attention to herself and it makes the man think of doing the same. Touching her face, chest, or legs will direct your attention to the body part she believes is most flattering. This is a highly suggestive and flirtatious act. Stroking a particular part of the body is an even louder cry for your attention.

Pointing the Elbow