Get In Her Mind, Get In Her Bed (6 page)

We tend to point at people and things in which we are interested in some way. The most obvious way is with the finger. One of the most subtle and subconscious of these is the elbow. The most common way this is done is by placing her hand on her hip, pointing her elbow in your direction.

Pointing the Feet

The targets feet show you the direction she wants to go. Look across the room and look for women that are pointing in your direction. They want to come talk to you. Look for a target who is talking to a guy whom you can tell she is not interested in. Rather than being mean, she will point her feet in the direction she wants to travel, away from the guy. This is her no signal saying, “I want to walk away from you, stop bothering me.”

Pointing the Pelvis

Along the same note is the direction of the hips. This has a greater significance than the feet and the two together are a sure sign that the target is open to your advance. To break it down, when a woman points her pelvis in your direction it means that her vagina is open to your advance. You see this a lot in couples. Watch as they hug. If they are intimate then their hips will be in line as though they were in the missionary position. A couple who has not had sex before, or is not ready for sex, will each tilt their hips to avoiding being in a direct line, or they will lean forward, keeping their hips away from the other, signaling they are not ready for sex.

Thrusting the Chest

Pushing the chest forward draws attention to it. Men are programmed to be aroused by the sight of breasts. When women push their chests forward they are inviting you to come take a closer look. High heels, which curves the spine to push out the chest and buttocks, accentuate this position. The target can also turn sideways or at forty-five degree angle, exaggerating the signal and displaying the curve of their breasts in a more flattering position. She may also position herself in a way to create more cleavage; another way to get your attention on her most flattering feature. Remember, this is all done by her subconsciously. These signals are programmed into a woman to attract a male and reproduce.

Thrusting the Hips

The hips contain the vagina and thrusting them forward is a provocative gesture. Pushing the hips forwards is difficult without losing balance, so this move is accomplished by leaning back against a wall or chair. This pushes out the breasts, drawing further attention to them.

Displays

A woman who is bold or is feeling confident will show the object of her desire exactly what he can have if he so chooses to make a move and come talk to her. She will display parts of her body in erotic and inciting fashion, putting on a personal show of display, saying “This could all be yours!”

Showing of the Wrist

When a woman exposes the thin skin on her wrist, she is saying, “I want to show you more.” This signal is much like that of revealing her neck.

Opening Legs

Women are raised to be ladylike and so they are taught to sit with their legs closed or crossed. When the target opens her legs to you, either deliberately or subconsciously, she exposes her vagina to you, sending an open invitation. When wearing a skirt, the target will go to great lengths to keep her legs closed to avoid public humiliation. There should be no question the type of signal the target is sending if she opens her legs to you while wearing a skirt.

Physical Signs

Women will drop subtle hints ninety percent of the time. When all else fails the last thing they can resort to other then directly telling you their feelings, is to make physical contact with you.

Accidental Touch

When you are talking to the target, one of the strongest indicators can be a simple touch. An accidental touch is a dead give away. In fact, an accidental touch is rarely a true accident. Many times, the target will resort to this if none of her other clues seem to be working. Once she begins touching you, you are home free. Make contact early, and make contact often. Touching breaks the personal zone barrier and opens her to more intimate touching such as, holding hands, hugging, kissing, and sex.

When talking about body language, there is sending signals and receiving signals. You are doing both. You are looking for signals, you are looking for the girl to hold eye contact longer, maybe a little smile, she will primp herself, play with her hair twirl it, she will play with her earring or necklace. She will play with her shirt in a way to make her breasts more appealing. She will have her arms uncrossed in a way to show off her breasts or slightly push her chest out. If you are sitting there talking to her she may fold her arms in a way to present more cleavage. She may cross her legs toward you, move closer to you, lean in toward you, a slight touch on the arm, all those things are yes signals that you are looking for.

When you are getting those signals you want to reciprocate them. Any time you reciprocate a signal you are moving to the next level of intimacy, basically building sexual chemistry. If the girl is leaning toward you, you want to lean towards her. If she touches your arm when saying something to you, girls love to do this, you want to find a way to touch her back. One thing I like to do is when in a bar or club, some place crowded where it's hard to hear, I lean in and talk into her ear and while doing this put my hand in the small of her back. By doing this you are doing a couple things. You are reciprocating that touch, but also you are breathing on her ear, an erogenous zone. This seems simple, and it is, but it does the job, and all the while you continue to build that sexual chemistry. Some people call this chicken pecking and discourage it but we call bullshit on that. If it is loud in a club there is nothing wrong by getting close to her to hear her. Also you don’t want to put her off by invading her comfort zone to early but at the same time you are breaking the proximity barrier.

Rejection Signals

Rejection is a fact of life, and something you must be comfortable with handling. By being able to recognize signals of rejection, the quicker we are able to respond to them and turn the attraction back to our favor. There comes a point where we must realize that no matter what we do, the target just isn’t attracted to us. This will happen from time to time, but you would much rather leave on your own terms, then have her turn her back to you completely and publicly humiliate you.

The Face

The face is on the front of the body and so we present the front when talking to women. If they do not wish to talk to us, they indicate their desire not to talk with us in several stages:

Averting the gaze, not making eye contact. 

Turning the head. 

Twisting the torso while keeping the feet planted. 

Twisting the torso further, moving one foot in another direction.  

Turning at an angle, so both feet are pointing in another direction. 

Turning around completely so that their back is to us.  

Each of these is an escalating signal, with turning their back to you as the maximum rejection. Even turning at a slight angle sends a clear message, “I do not wish to talk to you.” Turning fully around sends the loudest possible signal, short of her telling you, “Go away!” So how do we combat this? Well as you notice her slowly moving away, this should be a clear signal to change up your approach. If what you are currently doing is not working, it will continue to fail if you keep it up. Change the topic of your banter, go into a routine, or simply excuse yourself and regroup while you are still in good standing and try again at a later time.

Crossed Arms

Crossing the arms shows disagreement with you or what is being said at the time. It hides the chest, keeping her breasts hidden. It can also be used as a defensive barrier. By crossing the arms she is saying, “I will not let you in.” Before effectively communicating with the target you must get her to drop her defensive guard. It can be as simple as handing her something to hold on to, such as your drink while you fix your shirt or hold up your hand for a high five. You can make her self conscious about it. Tell her you read a study on body language that when a person crosses their arms they are putting up a defensive front. If all else fails go into the cold reading routine. Grab her hands and tell her you have a psychic intuition and would like to do a reading on her.

Double Crossed Legs

A woman will sit with legs crossed ninety-five percent of the time, this is normal. What you want you to look out for is the double cross, where she crosses her legs once and again at her ankles. Just like the crossed arms it shows disagreement and an unwillingness to open up. To counteract this simply have the target stand up. Ask her to show you her shoes. Say, “I like your shoes, can I see them?” As she uncrosses her legs to show you her shoes, she opens her body up. When she puts her foot back down she will be in a more open position and will be more receptive towards your advances. If her legs are crossed in a direction away from you, that is also a no signal. She is either no longer interested or you have done something to put her off.

PUSH and PULL

I was dating this one girl. She was very playful but she always gave me conflicting signals. I thought it was kind of fun because I liked to play around with her and play the reciprocation game. She would give me a yes signal, so I would give her a yes signal. When she would give me a no signal, I would give her a no signal right back. It was kind of funny because we would meet at the bar, we weren't dating more like fuck buddies, and so of course when I got there she would come up and give me a hug. We would get a drink and sit down, and she would be really flirty. After a few minutes, and kisses, we would go our separate ways and do our own thing. Then the games would begin. If she was off doing something, where if she was my girlfriend I wouldn't like, I would give her a couple of no signals. I would start flirting with another girl or go talk to some friends that were girls. It was really funny how she would respond. Any time I would do something like that, she would be right back over to me. Whenever I wanted her to come back over to me and sit with me or kiss me a little, I would just start talking to another girl or get a little flirty with someone that had happened to sit down. I would give some no signals, and she would come over to get my attention back on her. If I was talking to another girl that had sat down near me, she would come over and put her arm around me or make it a point to touch me in some way, again giving me yes signals so I would reciprocate.

In the previous chapter we talked about specific body language signals to look for. It is very important that when you receive any body language signal from a woman you respond in the correct manner. If she gives you one of the yes signals we described, you need to give her some sort of signal reciprocating that body language, reciprocating interest. By the same token, if she sends you a no signal indicating lost interest, you need to reciprocate that message as well. If she has lost interest you need to give her the correct body language to get her attention back on you.

Let’s take a look at some of the yes body language signals we have discussed.

From Across the Room

Eye Contact:

We have already talked a great deal about eye contact so we're not going to get into it too much here. Eye contact is however the most common body language signals you will get from across the room. Like we said before, this is the first indication you will receive that a woman is interested in you. Again, once you make eye contact with a woman, hold her gaze for a few seconds. She sent you a yes signal by holding eye contact. You reciprocate by also holding eye contact. Now get your ass over there and talk to her.

Facial Expressions:

The most common thing that happens while you are making eye contact with a woman is that she will smile. This is the second yes signal you have now received. When she smiles at you, you reassure her that you too are interested and have picked up on these signals she is sending, and smile back.

She might also part or lick her lips. She is trying to draw attention to her mouth. This is a sexual yes signal. You need to send some signal back to her to show her your interest. In this case don't try and part or lick your lips. You will only end up looking like a jackass. Just smile back, and head over to her. Something I like to do in this instance is I will look back at her with extreme interest and attraction. I do this by slightly squinting my eyes while holding eye contact. At the same time I will give her a little smile with my lips slightly parted, then take a drink of my beer. I do all of this while holding eye contact. Then I approach. I basically did the same thing she did to draw attention to my lips, but I took a drink to drive home the point.

You might notice her laughing with friends but glancing in your direction. She uses laughter much in the same way she uses a smile. In this case do the same thing. Have a good time with your friends while showing her attention. When you make eye contact with her but are smiling and joking with you friends, you are showing her a couple things. You are showing her you are fun and interesting, and that people like to be around you. You are also sending her a yes signal that, while you are having a good time with your friends, you are thinking about and interested in her.