Get Somebody New (19 page)

“I will Zeke.
I’ll remember that.”

With the
highest highs, also come the lowest lows. A lot of times they follow each
other. The drama started the following Sunday when my dad called.

“Hello?”

“Hey boy,
what have you been up to?”

“I had
meetings with some really big artists who want to work with me. Things are
really starting to happen for real.”

“I have been
hearing some things that I don’t like and I want to get em straight.” He said
in his straight to the point manner.

“What’s that
pop?”

“About you
being seen all around Atlanta with some man.”

“Probably
just one of my homeboys.”

“People seem to
think he’s your boyfriend why would they think that Jazz?”

“Nah, Pop.”

“Looka here
boy, do you know who you’re talking to? I wasn’t born yesterday and I didn’t
fall down on the last drop of fucking rain.”

“What you
trying to say?”

“I didn’t
raise no fags. You know how connected I am and I won’t have people thinking my
son is a fucking faggot.”

“I don’t know
what you heard pop but I ain’t a fucking faggot. I wanna know who said that
shit. Once I find em I bet they won’t say it again. If a dude even looks at me
wrong I’ll fuck him up!”

“Okay boy. I
don’t want to have this conversation again. You know Marcus Battles? You need
to have a talk with him. I’ll visit you in your grave before I see you be a
faggot and I mean that! Take it how you want it.”

“You ain’t
got anything to worry about pop. Everything is cool on my end.” 

After I
pressed the “End” key on my phone, I stood up and turned around. Zeke was
standing in the doorway. I’ve never felt smaller than I felt at that moment. He
didn’t say anything he just shook his head and looked at me like I was a big
disappointment. We had just gotten back to normal. I was past pissed off. Zeke
was mad at me again, my dad had just threatened to kill me if he ever found out
the truth, and the walls were closing in at warp speed.

I learned
from the last time not to let Zeke just walk away and let his anger simmer. I
had to at least try to explain things to him.

“Zeke I need
to talk to you, at least hear me out.”

“The door is
open.”

“Zeke I know
what you heard sounded bad, but it ain’t like you think. It was my dad.
Somebody told him they saw me with you. They told him you were my boyfriend. I
had to convince him otherwise. That’s why I said those things.”

“Jazz, I
haven’t said a word about the things you said. The fact that you just
automatically went into defense mode tells me that you think something is wrong
with what you said.”

“Zeke you
don’t understand. My dad just said he would visit my grave before he saw me be
a faggot. You don’t know my dad. When he says something like that he means it.”

“Jazz I still
don’t know why you are explaining this to me. That was your conversation on the
phone not mine. You weren’t talking to me I am fine. I will say this though, I know
you and I know how you speak when you really feel something you are saying. The
things I heard and the way you said them, I felt like you meant them. It
doesn’t matter what I feel about it. I just want to ask you a question and I
want you to think about it.”

“What’s
that?”

“How can you
possibly love me when you hate yourself? It took hate to say those things and
self-hate is the worst kind. You can’t love me unless you truly love yourself.
If you hate gay people then you hate me. Do I need to be worried that you would
harm me to prove a point to someone that you aren’t what you are?”

“Zeke you
know I would never do anything to hurt you. I couldn’t hurt you baby, you gotta
believe that.” I said as I hung my head. It hurt me that Zeke even thought I
could ever put my hands on him or do anything to harm him. If he only knew just
how strongly I felt about protecting him.

“Jazz you
have to understand that words hurt worse than physical pain. Physical pain is
temporary, words stay with you.” Zeke explained.

It was the
first time I’d ever thought about it but he was right.

“I can see
you have a lot on your mind Jazz. You’ll think better after you get some
sleep.”

“Yeah my head
is hurting now.”

I lay on my
back across Zeke’s legs and he massaged my temples. Soon my head felt better.
Sleep was calling my name in no time. I took my shirt and pants off and lay
back in the bed with my arms open. Zeke took his place with his head on my
chest as I put my arms around him.

“We’re gonna
be okay, I promise.” I whispered as he went to sleep.

The next day
it was business as usual. I thought about the conversation with my dad on and
off throughout the day. I wanted to go look for Marcus but decided against it.
I spent all day in the studio trying to get a track just right. Finally after 6
hours, I got it how I wanted it. All I could think about was taking a long, hot
shower, something to eat, and going to bed. Destiny had other plans though.

About 6:00
P.M. when I pulled up in the driveway, I saw a car parked behind Zeke’s. When I
got out of my truck, I walked up the driveway to the front of Zeke’s car. I
heard the front door open and I heard a voice that wasn’t Zeke’s.

“Zeke, am I
ever gonna convince you to go out with me.”

“Boy, you ask
me that every time you see me and I tell you no every time too. I told you, I
am very happily involved and no other man exists in my world but him.”

“You’re just
saying that because you haven’t gone out with me.”

“And I’m not
going to. Besides, you know I don’t do you light, bright, damn near white
boys.”

“Oh really?
Why is that, what’s wrong with us?”

“Nothing, you
just don’t do anything for me.”

“So the dude
you’re with now, what did you say his name was again?”

“Don’t think
you can catch me slipping. I didn’t tell you his name because it’s none of your
business.”

“Oh so you
keeping him a secret huh?”

“Not at all,
but you only stopped by to see if I was gonna be desperate enough to say yes
this time.”

“I did just
want to check up on you to see how things were going.”

“Okay, well
I’m fine. Again, don’t try to catch me slipping. You are just waiting around
thinking you’re gonna see who I’m with. Get out of here, will you?”

“Okay, you
got me. I’ll holla at you later, sexy.”

As I stood
there in front of Zeke’s car out of sight, I grew angrier by the minute. I
recognized the voice instantly and it was not one I wanted to hear as soon as I
got home. When he said his goodbyes to Zeke, I waited for his ass to walk past
me and tapped him on his shoulder.

“What’s up?”
I said as if glad to see the snake.

“Uh Uh Uh
Uhhhh.” He stammered.  

“Don’t look
so shocked man.”

Zeke heard us
and turned around.       

“You two know
each other?” Zeke asked.

“Oh yeah, we
go way back. Don’t we?” I said sarcastically.

“Uh Uh Yeah,
Yeah way back.” 

“Alright man,
you about to go? Good seeing you.” I said as he walked away relieved.

I let him get
about 5 feet away and called his name.

“Come here, I
been meaning to give this to you when I saw you again.”

“Oh what’s
that?” He asked curiously.”

“This ass
kicking!” I shouted.

He turned to
run, but I grabbed him by his collar.

“You know I
hate motherfuckers with diarrhea of the mouth!” I said.

I punched him
in his face. He tried to run but I hit him in his chest, causing him to fall.

“Get up!”

“What are you
doing?” Zeke asked.

“Go in the
house. I’ll explain it later.”

I saw the man
trying to run out the corner of my eye.

“You think
I’m finished? Do you think I’ve kicked your ass bad enough for what you did?
Huh? Speak up! I can’t hear you fool?”

“Come on Jazz
please don’t do this.”

“Wrong
answer.” I said, as I stole on his face a couple more times.”

“I ought to
kill you for what you did.”

“Jazz, please
man. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please Jazz, it’s hard for me. I still love you!”

“If I hear of
you running your mouth again, I’mma do some time, you get my drift?”

“Yes, yes.”

“Now get your
ass out of here and don’t let me see you again.

Zeke was
still standing at the door, he went inside first and I followed. I tried to
kiss him like I always do when I get home. When I reached out for him, Zeke
darted away from me.

“Zeke, what’s
wrong with you?”

“Who are you?
It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”

“Zeke you
don’t understand. First let me ask you, how do you know him?”

“I met him about
3 years ago at a birthday party one of my friends had. He tried to holla but I
wasn’t interested. We ended up becoming friends because we kept running into
each other. It’s kind of a joke, when we see each other he always asks me when
I’m going out with him. He knows it ain’t happening. I saw him when you and I
went out with Alton.”

“Yeah, I saw
him that night. I didn’t know you knew him though. I pulled you away from him
when he was trying to dance with you.”

“Jazz, don’t
tell me that’s what all of this is about?”

“No, Zeke. I
grew up with him. I heard him at the door, but I am not mad about that. You
remember the call I got last night from my dad?”

“Yes.”

“Well he is
the cause of it. He called my pops and told him about us. Told him he’d seen me
all around Atlanta with some gay dude I was dating.”

“But why
Jazz?”

“I grew up
with Marcus. We were friends a long time ago. That was a bunch of shit when he
asked what my name was cause he already knows I’m with you.”

“Jazz what
did he do to make you hate him so much?”

“People
teased him all the time in school, calling him sissy and fag and shit. Since we
were cool and from the same street I started looking out for him. Once people
knew he was cool with me they left him alone. One night we were chilling at my
house Marcus, me, and some of my other boys. Marcus ended up staying the night.
The next day my pops called him in the living room and closed the door saying
he wanted to talk to him alone. When they came out Marcus was crying and
wouldn’t look at me. He shot out of the house like somebody was after him. My
pops was looking at me all crazy and shit.”

“What did
your dad do to him?”

“Marcus had
slept on the sofa in my room. Sometime during the night that fool got up, came
over to the bed, pulled the covers back, and started sucking my dick. I had
been drinking that night and it was all I could do to find the bed so I was
knocked out and never even woke up.”

“What the
hell?”

“My pops got
up to check the front door. When he passed by the room to check on us he saw
Marcus. He stood there and watched him. That’s what he wanted to talk to Marcus
about. Marcus straight lied yo. He told my pops that we had been fucking around
for about a month. He lied straight up.”

“Why didn’t
your dad ask you?”

“Marcus was a
scary little bitch so pops figured he'd be too scared not to tell him the
truth. My pops threatened to kill him if he didn’t tell him what was going on.
Marcus lied on me to save his own ass. If he’d told my pops the truth that
would have been his ass. My old man was feeling sorry for him thinking I was
some kind of bully forcing him to be my personal suck boy or some shit. He said
I had forced him to start messing around with me. I never even thought about
him like that.”

“What did you
dad do?”

“After Marcus
ran out the damn house my pops told my mom to go get him something from the
store across town. As soon as she backed out the driveway he called me in the
den. So I pimp strolled my happy ass in there thinking he wanted to shoot the
breeze. That nigga didn’t say shit he just punched me in the face. I was trying
to figure out what was going on and he just laid into me. He kept punching me
in the face calling me a fag. I didn’t even know about what Marcus had done,
but I had to do something or my pops was gonna kill me. He had me down on the
sofa choking me and I was about to black out. I grabbed an aluminum bat and
tried to crack his skull open. I got him good enough to make him let me up. He
came at me again and I fought him the best I could, but that nigga had gone
stone crazy. I woke up in the hospital.”

“What kind of
damn family did you grow up in? When I told my dad he hugged me and told me
that I was his son and he loved me no matter what. If my dad had acted like
yours I would have been in an institution and he would have been dead. My mom
would have killed him and I would have lost my mind.”

“He felt like
an ass when he found out that Marcus had lied. That was the first and only time
I ever saw my old man cry, cause of what he did to me. When he got done he went
straight to Marcus’s house.”

“What did he
do?”

“He kicked
the door in and went straight for Marcus. His parents were holding my dad back
trying to see what was going on. When my dad told them what Marcus did, the lie
he told, and what he’d done to me behind it, they moved out of his way.”

“Oh lord what
did he do to that child?”

“He grabbed
him but he didn’t hit him. He told him he was disgusted at what he did and he
didn’t ever want to see him around his house again.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah.”

“No wonder you
are always beating people up. What did you do to Marcus?”

“I was hurt
by what he did. The lie he told about me threatening him was so messed up
because I was the one who had been protecting him. I never woulda bullied him like
that. Marcus and I ain’t been the same since then. I wasn’t mean to him and
still kept the thugs from fucking with him. He admitted after we got out of
high school that he was in love with me but he knew we’d never get together
because I wasn’t gay.