Getting by (A Knight's Tale) (15 page)

“Not my proudest moment, the ulterior motive…I planned to lose it with Tom over the senior trip. He had been begging for a long time and I truly thought he loved me.” I pulled her toward me and placed her against my chest, stroking her back while she continued. “The guy didn’t call or text all week. I got more upset at them—Mom and Dad. My boyfriend was ditching me and it was their fault. That’s when I did the unforgivable. You need to know that Monday mornings, Mom taught an eight o’clock class at the rec center. Usually I woke her up, so she’d get there on time. But after all the stunts they had pulled, I wanted to punish her, make her miss something she cared about. Get her fired. Jake if I had done my part, if she had—”

“Em, it wasn’t your fault.” I hugged her tighter, I knew what she thought and felt. “You didn’t pull the trigger, or steal money from half of San Francisco.”

“If I had been home—”

“You wouldn’t be here, Emma.” I pushed her a little until I could see her well, then cupped her face with one hand and kept the other one around her waist and looked into her eyes while her hands held tight to my waist. “I don’t know the case. The gunman shot the two people in the house. I bet he’d have shot anyone inside. You feel guilty because they left you behind, baby, but it wasn’t your fault. I’ve been there, and understand you perfectly. Can I take a look at their file, snoop and get some information that might help us get closure?” Her slight nod was the only permission I needed to go ahead and get a full report on Emma and Chloe—including their parents’ deaths.

“Now, tell me the truth, did Mom behave?”

“I think so.” She gave me a sad smile. “Honestly, she’s nice, and tried to bond with me. I like her. Though, I think she has too much testosterone around the house. You three should start settling down, Jake, tip the balance for the woman.” Not happening, each one of us had different reasons not to settle down. But I wasn’t going to explain that to Emma while she was trying to recover her wits. “We talked about my work, my grandparents, and a few things about my parents; they were good people.” She paused and took a deep breath. “My sister.” Emma lowered her gaze. “Don’t judge them—my family. He never got me though, Dad, one too many times the man wondered where I came from. ‘If she wasn’t Mom’s spitting image, I’d ask for a DNA test.’ He joked a few times. He never doubted Chloe, she was daddy’s little girl and I was Mom’s little art project.” And then she pressed her lips tight, trying to contain everything else she had inside.

“Oh, Em.” Instinct made me rest her head on my chest and place my chin over her head, wrapping her into a tight sheath where no one would hurt her. The roses and lavender scent reminded me of us, and the moments we shared like this. She mattered to me, more than I thought before.

“Jake.” Dad interrupted our moment, and Emma released my waist. I didn’t let her go, keeping one arm around her waist. “The table is ready.” His poker face didn’t give out much, but after our previous encounter, I knew an introduction was in order.

“Dad,” I said, and he glared, waiting for me to speak, “meet Emma Lilian Anderson. Emma, I want you to meet my Dad, Edward Knight. Em’s the girl I’ve been seeing for the past two years, Dad.”

“Two years?” Dad’s unreadable face made me feel uneasy, but Emma’s frozen face sent me on a full blown panic attack. Shit, I forgot we weren’t a couple or a fling anymore, the past ten minutes talking like we did before, took me back to those happy times. Dad embraced her with a hug, though my arm held her waist tightly. She smiled politely. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Emma. I’m looking forward to getting to know you, sweetheart. Your mom?”

“Rather keep it low, Dad.” He nodded, and Emma got very confused. I kissed her temple to calm her. “Smile, Mom might grill you if you look upset. She’s a professional meddler, babe. I’ll join in a second. I need to make a few calls.”

Chapter 18

Emma

“YOU O.K.?” I shook my head, the weight of the world prevented me from lifting my feet, making my walk slower than a turtle. Jake chose a Japanese restaurant, located inside a Japanese hotel. Was this Japanese week? Jay pulled me apart while everyone waited to be seated. “Talk, is it Mom?”

“She’s a meddler, that one. I can see the resemblance between the two of you.” I had wished the woman would be horrible and I’d hate her guts. But I couldn’t. Her inquisitive style agreed with her. Meddler, yet she knew when to stop.

“My children need a serious girl.” She tricked me with that one, I nodded in agreement. Her smirk grew and continued selling me the guys. “They are strong, good looking and successful.” I wanted to add a few more characteristics of Jake she had skipped, when it dawned on me what the woman was doing and I froze. “Like, for example, Jake—I’m intruding too much, aren’t I?” I nodded giving her a weak smile.

I smiled at the memory of how she almost pimped them—him—to me.

“But she knows when to back up, so Brownie points for her.” I took a deep breath. “This whole wedding is the worst decision I’ve made in the last twenty three years. Scenario, ready? Door number one: filled with former high school fake-friends who have the
happy life
, and pity you.
I hate pity.
Door number two: with best friend pimping me with everyone on her invite list, including girls; in case I’m hiding in the closet—her words.” Jake gave me a light smile, because he was my closet secret.

For some reason unknown to mankind and scientists around the world, I continued baring my soul to Jake. His old tactics of holding my hands, stroking the inside of my wrists while I talked and finally hugging me tightly gave him a lot more information than I wanted to release. What was with me this week? Yesterday was a drunken fluke, but today I had no real motive for babbling things I would never tell anyone—least of all him.

“If I had been home—”

“You wouldn’t be here, Emma.” He didn’t let me finish my sentence. Fear, desperation and pain in his eyes dragged my attention from the past to his serious gaze. I hugged him for dear life while I continued talking.

“I don’t know the case. The gunman shot the two people in the house. I bet he’d have shot anyone inside. You feel guilty because they left you behind, baby, but it wasn’t your fault. I’ve been there, and understand you perfectly.”
Does he? How?
His conversation confused me, but my blues dragged me to places that forbade me to talk. His feelings, my feelings… I’d end the week with more pain than I had come in with.

“Can I take a look at their file, snoop and get some information that might help us get closure?” I second guessed myself because the endearing term us sounded wrong for what we once were. However, my head gave him a slight nod, there wasn’t much to lose. He knew everything. I flinched, afraid I’d repulse him for being a conniving bitch.

He didn’t say anything further about my parents, but Jake, introducing me to his Dad as if I was his girlfriend, shook my entire existence.

No, Mr. Knight giving me what felt like a welcome to the family speech agitated me.

“Dad,” Jake said, and didn’t let me go, holding me by the waist, “meet Emma Lilian Anderson. Emma, I want you to meet my Dad, Edward Knight. Em’s the girl I’ve been seeing for the past two years, Dad.”

“Two years?”
Swallow me whole, please?
But instead, the older man pulled me into a fraternal hug. As if he had just met his new daughter in-law. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Emma.”
Finally?
I wanted to run away because this whole scene felt nice and homey, just like the relationship I was developing with Rachel. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you, sweetheart.”

They exchanged more words; syllables, consonants were said. None of them were assimilated by my brain. Fogged and panicked, I wanted to flee the restaurant and hide until—I didn’t even know when. “Smile, Mom might grill you,” were the words that pulled me out of my trance and helped me compose myself. Mr. Knight linked our arms and walked me to the table. He pulled out my chair before sitting down himself. Like at breakfast, they sat me next to the empty place where Jacob would be joining us. Finally? Did he tell them?

“Are you ready to order?”

The waiter came to the table, everyone was ready but Jake, who hadn’t joined us yet. Instead of asking to come back in a few minutes, I ordered for him the Japanese beer he liked, a green salad and our regular order of sushi to share.

“I almost forgot,” I said, after everyone else ordered. “Can you bring us edamame, please? A small order. We like to have something to munch on while waiting.”

Mitch cleared his throat, Liam looked at Rachel and she lowered her gaze while biting her lower lip.
What did I say wrong?

Ed, as he asked me to call him—it was better than call me Dad, which would’ve made me run away to Timbuktu—gave an update to Rachel about the sale of their jets. They discussed the possibility of waiting for the right new owner, or convincing Jake to keep them for trips within the US. Jake’s new planes were in production and wouldn’t be ready for another six months. There wasn’t any rush, and if needed, they’d be renting more hangar space.

“Sorry about that.” Jake sat down. “You already ordered?” He faced me and I nodded.”

“Yeah,
the usual
.” Mitch emphasized the last word and Jake’s eyes went right to his Mom’s. I caught then what I did earlier. Shoot me now? Rachel Knight didn’t know, and this was a thousand times more awkward than I originally pictured it.

“It’s almost two.” Ed’s voice pulled us from the awkward moment.

I waited for someone to bring up the Jake and I subject, but no one did. Ed, noticing the time, made a switch for a more comfortable conversation.

“We need to be at the Clement’s at six.” Liam and Mitch grumbled in unison as Ed continued. “Let’s move wine country to tomorrow, but you’re still driving Liam. No card game or bet will get you out of it.”

Jake and his brothers bet about everything they could; the forecast, sports and politics among other things. Also, they played multiple games—dominoes and cards topped the list. The loser owed a favor. Money never made it to the table. Among the valuable currency, there were chores, parent’s duties and other silly things. One time, Jay won a project for me. Liam never allowed such currency on the table after Sam threw a hissy fit. According to Jake, Mitch marked cards more often than not. Jake and Liam—mostly Liam—carried one or two decks of new cards to avoid fights.

Lunch ended up a pleasant event. No one brought up the fact that Jake and I shared a platter of sushi, or the fact that he fed me ginger and ordered a bowl of fresh fruit for me as dessert. The family won me over. They didn’t pity me—except for Mitch the prior day at the hotel bar, but he recovered marvelously from the slip. And they didn’t pry about my relationship with Jake. No doubt it would come out later, but I hoped not in front of me. I expected that when they had the talk, I’d be miles away from them. It was a blessing that I would never see them again—or not, because I liked them. On second thought, I might miss them. Not Liam because…well…he was my boss for at least another few years.

Rachel suggested a walk around the mall. The boys—as she called them—needed warmer clothing. Late spring in San Francisco meant a different thing than in New York where it was already warming up for summer. Truth, the seasoned travelers should know better. Liam did, but the other two didn’t frequent the western states too often, only the Eastern states.

“Now she buys your clothes?” I walked at Jake’s pace, and he shook his head. Clothing shopping was something we did together. When I needed to buy something, he’d join and I’d choose a garment, jeans, shirts, or what I thought would look good on him. “Sorry, not my—”

“Exactly,” he said, his sad smile matching my mood. “Can we do this without bringing up the past?”

“It’s hard,” I said, wanting to add something along the lines of being so freaking hard to forget him, the moments we shared together and my feelings. All while in search for Mr. Right so I could move on and start a brand new family life. Though, how could anyone move on while carrying the death of their parents? And find the Perfect guy, when this one—Jake—was just right for me?

This moment wasn’t much different from the ones we had in New York. Those afternoons walking in toward the shops to buy new clothes, or heading to the farmers market for fresh fruit and veggies. The Central Park long walks, the early runs and, the times when he flew me to private beaches, historical cities and museums I’d enjoy. Jake made my dreams come true without knowing. I stared at the Mona Lisa for two hours as Jay stood next to me not saying a word, or putting me under pressure. He did the same with other precious pieces of art. He got me without knowing. He was a hard act to follow.

Chapter 19

Emma

WESTFIELD SAN FRANCISCO was bigger than I remembered. They added a whole new building to it. Bloomingdale’s, one of my favorite stores to window shop the eye candy of fashion, opened its doors to me. Technically Mitch did. I only bought a couple of items from the store each year. The rest? I procured at big sales in smaller department stores and boutiques. My shoes came mostly from online sites which carried designer brands at more affordable prices. A single woman who supported herself couldn’t spend a thousand dollars on a pair of heels. I loved my high heels, but shallowness wouldn’t take me far if I wasn’t smart with my money. Jake tried to buy me clothing, but I never let him. While Mitch walked with his mom and dad to the men’s department, Jake and Liam decided to venture outside Bloomies. I stayed confused in the middle of the separation.

“Emma, you coming?” Liam asked, while lightly touching my elbow to follow them. “You don’t want to be around mama bear and her cub while they shop.”

“Mitch’s the baby,” Jake said. “He stayed almost two months in the hospital when we were born, while they released me a week after the happy event. My parents paid for a private room for the entire family to stay there to keep us together. Mitch’s delicate health during the first six months of his life had an impact on Mom. She thinks he’s the one who needs her attention the most, if not he’ll die. Mitch hates it and they begin to fight when she smothers him too much. Why do you think the guy lives on this side of the pond?”