Getting by (A Knight's Tale) (25 page)

“Em?” A sniff came through but no one spoke. “Emmy, what’s going on, baby?”

“My Grandmother,” she sobbed. “My grandpa got worse and they rushed him to the hospital.”

“Which one, Connecticut or San Francisco, baby?” I began to walk toward Liam and left the girl to dance by herself. “Emmy?”

“Grampy, tell me what to do. I don’t think I can drive this late.” Her erratic pauses worried me.

“Where are you?” I physically removed the girl who had come back and plastered herself onto my body. “Em, talk to me, baby.”

“Manhattan, at home.”

“Stay there,” I told her. “Give me twenty minutes tops.” Brandy, whisky or whatever the name of the girl I danced with, gave me an evil glare and tried to approach me again, but I stopped her. “I’ll take you to Connecticut. We’ll figure this out together.” I ended the call and got my brother’s attention. “Liam, Emma’s grandfather is in the hospital.” He stood up, gave his apologies and fled with me. I texted Mitch and we made our way to Em’s. We reached her apartment in twenty minutes. Mitch and Emma came out of the elevator when the doorman let us in. I thanked him for coming as soon as I texted him. She carried an overnight bag with her, and Mitch carried her portable office.

“He’s going to be fine, baby.” I gave her a hug and she broke down.

Liam grabbed her bag and we headed to Mitch’s car. While he drove, Liam and I made calls to the hospital and our parents. Then to Judah Anderson, who would take one of my planes to join us tomorrow, along with Lily who was now walking like a pro—he mentioned. The assisted living home took care of the initial details for Mrs. Lynden. Dad called us with the details of his trip for the next day, Mom talked to Emma for a few minutes and then she hung up. The lone ranger had more people that were close to her than she thought. When we reached Hartford, Emma had calmed down.

She stayed with her Nana until the tiny old lady fell asleep. The sleeping pills and anti-depressants did the trick after a couple of hours. The nurses gave us a small debrief about Mrs. Lynden’s health. Like her husband, the woman’s health deteriorated on a daily basis, ever since they arrived at the place. Depression and her lack of interest were her biggest issues. Of course watching her husband die slowly played a huge part in that too. From time to time she talked about her daughter Anna, the attack at her home, the rape and murder she suffered along with her husband. I was thankful Emma wasn’t around for that talk because I never disclosed what happened to her Mom during those moments. She didn’t need to know the gory details.

Sadness embraced Emma’s entire body, and the three of us gave her enough space to cry, but not enough to slip into a depression. Mitch got us two rooms in downtown. When we arrived, Emma’s pleading eyes begged me not to leave her alone. I offered to stay with her for the night and she agreed. This was completely unlike Miss Anderson’s behavior. The hotel’s air conditioning blasted throughout the building, making her teeth chatter as her slim body joined with its own shivering rhythm. Mine reacted to her proximity and scent in seconds; Emma did what took night club girl hours. The difference between the two was that “unknown girl” was willing, and Emma didn’t need my hormones to be added to her list of fucked up things.

I kicked my brothers out of the room and helped her get ready for bed, as I told her it was nothing I haven’t seen before. The comments my brain wanted to shout remained quiet. When we finished the task of getting ready, I turned her to face the window and hugged her tightly, placing my lips on the base of her neck. A trick that I had learned relaxed her when things didn’t go as expected and frustration kept her awake. Strawberries mixed with her personal scent attacked my senses; the flowery mix had been replaced. Thoughts of what else had changed since we parted kept me alert. Dates, a boyfriend, new wardrobe, a tattoo?

Chapter 30

Jake

“HI.” HER MORNING voice woke me up. She tried to remove my arms, but I held on to her for dear life until I was ready for her to go. With a light kiss on her forehead, I gave up the fight. “Thank you; I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jay.”

“Any time, baby,” I whispered. She gave me a sad smile and I understood. She needed me to stop the affection and demonstrations of love; it was hard to break the connection if I continued feeding it. “I’m sorry for all this, Em. I’m sure he’s going to get better.”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, leaving me alone while she changed in the bathroom I assumed. “Are your parents coming? I haven’t seen them in a couple of weeks.”

“Of course they’ll be here, they adore you.” A pang mirrored the pain my words gave her. She loved them too. Forget it and move on, I told myself, and changed the conversation from painful memories to painful reality. “What are your plans for the day? We can go to the hospital, or visit your Nana.”

There wasn’t an answer, only the noise was from the shower. She had left me alone without letting us finish the conversation, so like Emma. I texted my brothers and then emailed my people about my whereabouts. When she came outside dressed and ready to go, I headed to the shower.

The spray from the water calmed the tension my body collected through the night. The cheap date, Emma’s call, Emma’s break down and lying down next to her. Had she felt the hard on I pressed to her back? Morning sex was off the plate. Correction, the possibility of sex was null. Images from the internal war I lived through, after the explosion, reminded me why I let her go. A woman like Emma deserved a loving husband and a beautiful family.

Back when I turned eighteen, I exchanged alcohol for guns and women for the thrill of becoming a hero. The lighthearted boy who once cohabitated my body, died soon after that. Who I became went through life ignoring the blissful impressions others talk about. Family mattered; I had one, no need to extend it. Adding a wife and children would only add to the burden of more loved ones that I could lose. Those people I shared so much with died without a second thought. I shut off the shower, slipped on the jeans I wore the day before and the same t-shirt and made a note to send Liam or Mitch for new clothes. Emma’s lotions, moisturizers and other beauty products took over the vanity table. The expandable woman attacked, it reminded me of the way my bathroom looked when she visited me. Now her things stood next to mine, neatly organized by the housekeeper, whom I forbade to trash them.

Did I need closure? We had it. The night she said ‘I left you because I love you,’ and I responded, ‘you’re right, I love you, therefore I should leave you,’ and I did. What would my therapist think about me? Mom, she half killed me.
‘Did I do something wrong? Your Dad and I have a great, healthy marriage. We’re a good example, those friends with benefits relationships are stupid, Jacob Knight.’
They weren’t, Emma and I had a blast, and very intelligent conversations in and out of the bed.. Our relationship didn’t have a name, but we had been exclusive and shared a whole lot more than sex, as Mom implied. Leaving those thoughts behind, I opened the door of the bathroom, and encountered the table in the small living room full of breakfast food. My brothers sat on the couch eating along with Emma.

“Got you some clean clothes,” Mitch said, and used his head to point toward the Nordstrom bag. “Mom called, they gave me an ETA of eleven. Emma’s grandma had a bad night, the nurses reported. Liam has a few places that Em likes, but nothing in Manhattan.” I arched my eyebrow.

“Context,” I said, and looked at Emma, who devoured a bowl of berries. “What’s with you and the berries, Em? You even smell like one.”

“I don’t.” She sniffed her arms, hands and clothing. “Lavender organic spritz, and the rose water I spray before my moisturizer.” Then like things made sense, she bobbed her head, and said, “One of the girls at the office…can’t tell you because corporate might listen. But I wore something different yesterday—a favor.”

“Kelly sells homemade lotions and skincare products,” Liam said. “Corporate knows, sweetheart. I choose my battles wisely, and may I remind you, you’re corporate too. Tell her to keep it low though.”

“She’s trying to find my scent.” Nose scratch, crinkled and cheek bite. “But I don’t like to smell like food. I explained to her several times that I don’t wear fruity stuff because I eat fruit. About moving Nana and Grampy, I think the place in Millbrook is the best so far. Now, someone has to convince her, because she won’t listen to me.” She took a piece of bacon from my plate. “Thank you,” Emma said in general, then looked at Mitch. “You’re the best brother in history.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” I asked, appalled.

“Dude, really? Because in this country that’s incest, unless you forgot…” Without finishing her sentence, she turned to Liam, and said, “And you too, but since you’re my associate, you have become a pain in my behind. But I love you like a brother too, Li. You Knights need assurance more than a child.”

*

Lilian Anderson and Emma stayed in the hospital with Joe and Judah, while Mom went to visit Alice. The second grandma needed to be convinced about moving closer to their granddaughter, or better, to North Carolina where the weather was warmer. Meddle woman, as Em nick named her due to her superpower, insisted on helping with the transition. Her degrees and counseling certificates made her qualified to intrude. I loved the woman, but her super power as a meddler drove Dad, my brothers and myself bonkers. It puzzled me how Emma, the self-reliant-non-trusting woman, let Mom in so easily. Calls, care packages, surprise visits and texts came and went between the women on a regular basis for the past six weeks.

Once we had the green light, I began the administrative side of the Lynden’s transfer to the hospital and new home. New York, they refused to go southern. Judah insisted on at least covering half of the bill, while Dad discussed it was his family too. In the end, I paid and sent them to check on Emma and Lilian. The doctors recommended we keep Joe in the hospital for at least another week. His lungs were weak and needed to recover in order to withstand the transfer.

Awkward, out of place, uneasy or inconvenient were the words that came to mind when Mom called us to make reservations for eight to have dinner—as a family. The words
‘are you out of your mind?
’ stationed on the tip of my tongue. Mitch gave me directions to get to the restaurant, as the expert I delegated the task to make a decision for us. Big mistake when I read Andros’s’ Steakhouse. A gasping sound made me clench my jaw, she might eat a steak once in a blue moon; however, Emma won’t go to a steakhouse
—‘too many cows died, I’m betraying them.’
Again, she was not a vegetarian but she was an anti-butcher. I wondered if she should start looking for a husband around organic markets, just another thought I kept to myself.

“Emma isn’t much of a meat person, Mitch,” I stated the obvious, out of Em’s ears. “Steakhouses are not her favorite place to hang around.”

“You said she ate steaks sometimes,” he said nonchalantly. “One won’t kill her, and they have seafood, salads and plenty of fruit. I’ll take the bullet.”

Obviously!

The hostess took us to a private room, where a rectangular table for eight occupied the center. I pulled the chair out for Emma and I sat next to her. She scrunched her nose for the eighth time and then repeated the process of scratching and wiggling it. Her disheveled curls and dark circles under her eyes made me want to take her on vacation, but I abstained from even commenting.

“You ok, babe?” I whispered. She slightly shook her head but didn’t complain at all. I pulled her chair toward me and embraced her with a protective hug. “Tell me when you want to leave.”

The waiter served water and took our drink orders. Dad ordered two bottles of wine for the table. I ordered ice tea for Emma; wine accelerated her metabolism and kept her awake—like coffee. She needed to rest. A slight glance with a thank you was all I got from her. I grabbed her hand from under the table and squeezed it. Whatever had happened with her Grammy earlier, drained the poor girl. Mom talked about her weekend with her neighbors. They had stayed at their home in Barcelona. This was a great way to deflect the elephant in the room. Lilian suggested a trip to London to visit Mom and Dad, and they offered to take them to France.

“We were thinking of staying in town for a couple of weeks,” Dad said, directing the conversation toward Mitch. The entire table focused on him. “Mitch and I can work the wine orders for the rest of the year.”

“Why don’t you stay with me and my grandparents for the weekend? You can leave these three alone to fend for themselves.”

Fuck, she knew our plans. Funny, after her statement, she reclaimed her hand and sat straight. Not awkward, but painful. Definitely a pang took over my chest when she reminded me that we weren’t together. My parents adopted her, Mitch and Liam loved her as a little sister, but she and I would never happen. The girl needed a good guy who’d give her what she needed and wanted. Not one who’d drag her to the pitch black darkness, like the one I have lived in for the last few years. She suffered enough. Though in the past she never witnessed my bad days or night terrors, the fear of her facing them lingered around more now than before. I loved the girl with all my heart and didn’t want to hurt her emotionally or physically. Not too long ago during one of those nights I destroyed half of a hotel room. I paid five thousand dollars for a two hundred dollar a night room. And part of my past was blending with my present, what if I lost it and confused her with the enemy? Not my girl, she needed to stay away.

“Let the boys go alone, Rache,” Emma insisted.

Rache? Let the boys go alone?
Mom ignored her, Mitch grunted, Liam laughed and I stayed neutral. Emma and Lily ordered lobster pasta, and so did I, with a house salad and vinaigrette to accompany it. The rest ordered different meat cuts cooked rare—cow barely killed—as Emma pointed out. Another scratch and wrinkle of her nose granted to the party of five who had ignored her eating preferences and brought her to meat central.