Getting to Happy (33 page)

“I would like that.”

“Hol’ on a minute,” she says while punching at least twenty numbers on that giant phone, so hard that the white cord hanging at the end of it swings back and forth. “Yes, I’m calling to see if you have any abailability for Blazie’s gawa to get her hair done today? Hol’ on a minute.”

“They wanna know what you want done,” she says to Gloria.

“I could sure use a new weave.”

“They don’t do weaves. You wanna get it braided?”

“How much does it cost?”

“Five hundred dollars,” she says.

“Will they take a check?”

“No! They don’t take no checks only credit cards,” Ms. Chocolate Chip butts in as if she has had run-ins like this before.

“Then maybe I’ll get it done a different day.”

Gloria spots Diamond walking toward her with a sleepy smile on her face.

“You know, girls, it’s been such a pleasure to have met you but I’m going to have to take my granddaughters home now.”

“Can you come back and play with us again?” Ms. Chocolate Chip asks, as if she’s pleading.

“Yes, I will,” Gloria says.

“When?”

“Soon,” Gloria says.

“Can you give me a hug?” she asks.

Gloria is surprised and moved by this request, but happy to oblige.

“I want one, too,” Ms. Operator says.

“Me, too,” another one says.

The next thing Gloria knows, the other girls descend upon her as well. All she feels are warm little arms and hands squeezing her thighs and waist. She’s thinking that all these miniature people are real people. That one day they’ll grow up and become real adults and they’ll fall in love, and some of them will have their hearts broken and cry and wonder if they’ll ever recover. Some of them will probably get married and have babies and their husbands might die when they least expect it. Or one day they’ll be grandparents and their adult children will need them again, which is why Gloria is going to take two of these children to her house until their father, her only son, tells her just how long he needs all of them to stay.

Blockbuster Night

“Open this door before I break it down!” Robin yells.

“It’s open!” Savannah yells back as she heads on out to the backyard. “And I hope you didn’t bring those whiny little dogs with you, because we can never hear the doggone movie. Get it?”

“Oh, shut up, Savannah,” Robin says, coming through the double doors that lead to the deck. “I dropped them off at Macy’s. They’re looking for new outfits. What can I do to help?”

“Don’t ask a question you don’t really want the answer to,” Bernadine says after Robin passes her in the kitchen.

Savannah and Gloria are putting mint green sheets on the bed that Isaac built. It looks like something out of a movie. None of them has ever seen a bed in anybody’s backyard. At least not one you’d want to sleep in. What Savannah’s friends don’t know is she hasn’t so much as sat on it since she’s been living alone.

“Who’d you get all dressed up for?” Gloria asks as Savannah tugs to get the sheet snug under her corner.

“I got this dress at Target. Thirty-nine bucks. I’m tired of looking like a slob just because I’m not at work.” The dress is orange cotton, sleeveless, with a box-pleated skirt.

“Did I just hear you say you got that dress at Tarj’et? For under forty bucks?” Robin asks.

Savannah nods. They all know Robin can’t pass up a good deal.

“Does it come in any other colors? I can’t do orange.”

“White and bright yellow.”

“Why don’t you make those mojitos and settle down,” Gloria says. Robin obeys, heading over to the deck bar where Savannah has all the fixings ready and waiting. Perched high on top of a cabinet, the flat-screen TV awaits. Gloria has already slid
Crash
into the DVD player. It was the movie everybody wanted to see, since they missed it at the theater. Savannah has the remote, so Gloria started the movie manually. The previews are playing.

“What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without shopping?” Gloria asks Robin.

“I don’t know. Two, three days, tops. Why?”

“Were you sick and shut in?” Savannah asks.

“So I like to shop. Big deal.”

“That’s an understatement,” Bernadine yells from the kitchen, where she is, of course, spreading out the food she has prepared, as she has done for every Blockbuster Night. She always surprises and outdoes herself.

“Do you ever ask yourself why you buy so much stuff you don’t need?” Gloria is looking her dead in the face.

Robin turns the blender on high a little longer than it takes. Does a taste test. She’s pleased. “It’s not about need. I buy things because I like them.”

“I like monkeys, too, but I’m not going to run out and buy one,” Bernadine says, still from the kitchen. “Don’t make enough for me. I’m drinking water or iced tea this evening.”

Everyone tries hard not to look suspicious.

“Just tell us when we can eat, please.” Robin pours the mix into three martini glasses and takes a sip of hers.

“Anytime is the right time,” Bernadine says.

“I’ll bet you a hundred dollars you can’t go a week without shopping,” Savannah says.

“I don’t need to prove anything to you.”

“You’re right,” Savannah says. “So, let’s fix our plates and come back and watch this movie. I heard it’s probably gonna get nominated for an Oscar.”

During the next ten minutes or so they fill their plates with everything they see: chicken and sweet potato salad, tomato and olive pasta with giant prawns piled on top, and everybody’s favorite (which Bernadine borrowed from Tanya Holland’s
New Soul Cooking
), that mouthwatering confetti cornbread. For dessert: summer pudding, an English recipe. Bernadine usually makes huge bowls of it for everybody down at Oasis. She can almost make it with her eyes closed: fresh raspberries and sugar boiled to a thick liquid then poured over layers of stiff white bread. She staggers them with the same concoction of blueberries and blackberries, puts it in the refrigerator overnight and uses sprigs of mint as a garnish and ultra-rich clotted cream to top it off.

“Anybody want to hear a good joke while the previews are on? It’s hecka funny,” Robin says.

“No,” Gloria says.

“Save it,” Bernadine says.

“E-mail it to me,” Savannah says.

They head back outside and sit in their usual places, Gloria and Robin on the deck in chaises, Bernadine and Savannah on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Savannah looks over at Bernadine. She’s never seen anyone except Isaac in that spot.

“We couldn’t have picked a nicer night to be outside, huh, girls?” Robin says. “No rain tonight.”

Because Robin answered her own question, nobody bothers to respond. Gloria reaches over and presses PLAY on the DVD player.

Savannah hits the PAUSE button on the remote control. “So how’s everybody doing and what’s everybody been up to lately?”

Gloria rolls her eyes and lets out a long sigh. This is going to take all night. She can already feel it.

“Before I forget!” Robin yells out. “Lucille is selling—”

“I’m not buying another ticket to another one of those tired dances,” Savannah says.

“I think I’ll pass, too.” Gloria sets her now empty plate on the deck.

“When is it?” Bernadine asks.

“Are we gonna ever watch this movie tonight or not? I’ll be asleep in a few minutes if we don’t.” Gloria crosses her arms and legs and peers at everyone, hoping someone agrees with her.

Savannah sticks her tongue out at Gloria and presses the PLAY button. More previews.

“Early September. Did I tell you guys I’m going skiing with the black ski club this winter?”

“No,” Bernadine says. “Why?”

“Because I’m tired of not having any fun.”

“But aren’t they all like twenty-one?” Savannah asks.

“No. Most twenty-one-year-olds can’t afford to ski. Anyway, I’m buying four tickets to the dance, and if you don’t come you will hurt Lucille’s feelings. It’s for a good cause.”

“I believe in supporting a good cause but it doesn’t mean I have to go to the boring dance. Which one is it for?” Savannah asks.

“It’ll provide scholarships for black high school kids who have good grades but still need money for college. We need to stop being so selfish.”

“I agree,” Savannah says. “Okay. I’ll go if everybody else goes. Damn.”

“I’ll buy a ticket,” Gloria says.

“Since you put it that way, Robin. It’s sad but true. None of us does anything for other folks the way we used to when we were in Black Women on the Move,” Bernadine says. “Does anybody know whatever happened to them?”

“I ran into Dottie a little while ago. Remember her?”

“You mean Miss Meany?
That
Dottie?” Robin asks.

Gloria nods. “She didn’t look so good.”

“Neither do we,” Bernadine says.

Gloria nods again. “Anyway, she had a stroke and she was in a wheelchair.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Savannah says. “She got on everybody’s nerves but I hope she’s going to be okay.”

“You just never know when tragedy might strike,” Bernadine says.

“Dottie told me there was some talk about starting it back up, but I think she was just saying it to be saying it. I’m thinking of giving Etta-Mae a call. She was the brain behind BWOTM.”

“I heard she died a few years ago,” Bernadine said.

“Let’s talk about this again. After we see if we can locate any of the old members,” Savannah says.

“I’ll look into it,” Gloria says.

“How much are the tickets this time, Robin?” Bernadine asks.

“Seventy-five,
but
it includes dinner and of course live entertainment and a raffle!”

“Remember a long time ago when Robin screwed one of the band members?” Bernadine asks. “And his wife was gonna kick her ass?”

Robin ignores this. Everybody is trying hard not to laugh. The credits finally start rolling. Now everybody seems to be daydreaming.

“I have to see if I can find something I can fit into,” Gloria says. “Maybe this’ll give me enough time to lose a few pounds. Everybody always overdresses. Like they’re going to a ball or something.”

“And do they love wearing sequins and rhinestones or what?” Savannah says while flipping the remote back and forth from one hand to the other. “I’ll tell you right now, when the DJ plays the middle-age theme song, I’m not doing the Electric Slide. I mean it.”

“I love doing the Electric Slide,” Robin says.

“I don’t,” Gloria says.

“I can take it or leave it,” Bernadine says.

“I’ll tell you what you can do for me, Robin,” Gloria says, trying hard not to laugh. “Ask Lucille if she can ask somebody on the food committee if they can try not to be so stingy with it.”

“Tell me about it. Something besides that choke-me-to-death chicken breast, that tablespoon of rice and those two tiny-ass carrots, on top of that tasteless sponge cake with that white frosting,” Savannah says.

“Okay! I get it. Eat before you leave home. Damn,” Robin says. “It’s for a good cause so stop complaining.”

The screen is still frozen on the credits and no one is paying attention to them now.

“You’re entirely too cynical, Savannah, you know that?” Robin says. “And stop swearing so damn much.”

Savannah’s mouth is in the shape of an O. She doesn’t say a word because she knows Robin is probably right. “I’ll work on being sweeter.”

Gloria goes inside the house and comes back out with two blankets. She tosses one to Robin.

“No one has yet to answer my question. How’s everybody doing? For real,” says Savannah.

Everybody’s thinking how best to answer.

“I’m lonely and bored,” Robin says.

“I’m frustrated with myself,” Bernadine says.

“I miss my husband and I’m worried about my son and my grandkids,” Gloria says, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders. “What about you, Savannah?”

“I’m getting better. But I won’t lie. This is some hard shit to go through. I wish I was telepathic and could see how long it’s going to be before we’re all in high spirits again.”

“You and me both,” Bernadine says.

Gloria just nods.

Robin lets out a sigh, then finishes what’s left of her mojito.

“Doesn’t it seem like we’re always making adjustments to things we weren’t responsible for or had no control over?”

They look at her: dumb-ass question, Savannah.

“And I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh, hell,” Gloria says.

“Please don’t take half the night telling us,” Robin says.

“Hold up,” Bernadine interrupts. “First of all, the whole point of us getting together like this was meant to catch up, maybe give each other booster shots, and
then
watch the frigging movie. Otherwise, we could just watch it in the comfort of our own living rooms or curled up under our fluffy comforters. Right?”

Everybody nods their heads. True.

“I think we owe it to ourselves to start doing as much as we possibly can to make ourselves as happy as we possibly can for as long as we possibly can and to hell with all the bullshit that doesn’t.”

“Well, that’s quite a tall order, Oprah, so why don’t you tell us how in the hell we might do this?” Robin asks.

“Yeah, I’m way behind in my aha! moments,” Bernadine says.

“I don’t know. If I had the formula, don’t you think I’d be bottling the shit and selling it?”

“Good point,” Robin says. “I’m making more drinks, who wants another mojito?” She gets up without looking to see.

“Oh, never mind. Where’s the remote?” Savannah asks.

“It’s in your hand,” Gloria says. “I was listening, Savannah.”

She presses PLAY anyway.

“I was too,” Bernadine says. “I didn’t know Sandra Bullock was in this movie. I like her.”

“That fine-ass Terrence Howard is the one I’m waiting to see,” Robin says. “I hope there’s a nude scene in this one. I didn’t like him when he played that pimp. Remember, Savannah?”

She shakes her head because she doesn’t want to remember. “There’s bottled water in the cooler,” Savannah says. She’s clearly annoyed by their apathy, and wants to be taken seriously. She needs their help with this.

“Finish what you were saying, girl. You know I’m interested,” Bernadine says as she turns to give Savannah her full attention.