Gifts of Desire (34 page)

             
Ella
watched it hit the stone and fall to the floor with a thud, then she
gathered her courage
. 
She was not afraid of the man, but of her own feelings for him, and how much he could hurt her because of them, but s
he could not let him shut himself off from living anymore.
  It was her duty to help him, afterall.
 
She put her hands on his shoulders
and let them slide down onto his chest
, needing to touch him, feel his strength beneath her fingers.
 
“I
don’t
want
you to
promise
not to touch me again
Ceann
.
  I
want
your hands on me, even as I want to touch you.
  And what
you
did, what
we
did, wasn’t
wrong.  I wanted it, too.
”

             
Ceann
let out a frustrated growl.
  “Of course it was wrong!   I
stole
your
innocence,
and whether or not
you
willed
it
,
it wa
sn’t
mine to take
.
  Believe it or not, i
t isn’t
my habit to go around despoiling virgin
s
.
  I’d never done so before.
”
  Even he heard the defeated tone in his voice.

             
Ella
leaned
closer so that her mouth was only a hair
’
s breadth from the racing pulse in his neck.

             
“No, it wasn’t
your
s to take, but it was mine to give”, she whispered against his skin. 
“Can you not feel what is between us?” 
She could feel his body tense further, could feel him tremble as he
struggled
to hold himself in chec
k. 
The power, the danger of him was t
ruly
intoxicating.  His scent
and his nearness
was making her dizzy and boneless.

             
His voice was
a little bit
ragged
when he spoke, “Leave me be,
Ella
.  I can’t
give
you
what
you
want.”

             
“
W
hat is it that
you
think I want from
you
?”

             
“What every woman wants…
a home, a husband… a
family
.”

             
Ella
came around the ch
air and
knelt before him, taking
his hands in hers.
He tensed at the contact
, but did not pull away
. 
“I think I can decide for myself w
hat I do or do not want, and
you
won’t
tell me otherwise.
 
You
forget,
Ceann
, I have asked nothing of
you
.
  Nothing.  Whatever you give to me will be because you want it.
”

             
Ceann
held himself
only
by the thinnest of threads.  If she did not leave right now, he would take her again, consequences be damned.  He wanted her with a hunger so strong that it frightened him.
 
Actually frightened him.
  Nothing else seemed to matter when she was close to
him;
she filled all of his senses, leaving no room for conscious thought
, no room for honor
.  All he could think of was taking her, claiming her.  God, he
burned
with it. 

             
“I won’t
say more.  But
know
that I
don’t
regret what happened between us.
  I wish… I wish you wo
uld stop running from me.  I… I care for you Ceann.
  Even though I can’t tell you everything you want to know, I would never willingly play you false.
” 

             
She was too close
, her words too sweet and tempting
. 
He abruptly pulled his hands away from hers and stood, intending to move away from her before it was too late.  But she leaned her body
against
his,
her stomach rubbing against
his
already throbbing
manhood
, and he hissed in a breath.  He froze for only an instant, but he knew he was lost.  With a
primitive
growl,
he
reached for her
, claiming her mouth with a ferocity that would have frightened any other woman.  But not
Ella
, she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer, nipping at his lips
even
as he sought to ravage hers.
 
 
 

             
He dropped his forehead to hers and closed his eyes
.
  He was hard and
aching
, and
bewildered
by the realization that his willpower had lasted all of several minutes.  He really never had a chance to resist what was between them.
 
“God
”
,
he murmured.  “W
hat do
you
do to me?”

             
Her hands came up to trail softly down his back, making him shiver with pleasure.

             
“The very same thing
you
do to me, I expect.”
  She leaned close to his ear,
trembling, her breath hot on his skin. 
“Take me. 
Please Ceann. 
I belong to
you
now, no
other.
  Never anyone but you.
”

             
He looked at her. 
Her blue eyes were dark with passion, with wanting him. 
Mine.  How could she
not
be mine?  I found her.  I claim her.  Enough of being
honorable
.  I
want this, I
need this
like my next breath
.

             
His hands came up to cup her face.  Her eyes closed, and her lips parted on a soft
sigh
.  “
You
are so very
beautiful,
mo mhùirnìn
.
”

             
He bent to kiss her
, a
nd then he lost all control
.
  When at last his mind gave his body free rein, it took all that it craved.  He had all of their clothing off in no time, and leaned
her back
, covering her with his body and driving into her almost at once, filled with an elemental need.
  The next thing he knew, they were lying on the sheep skin in front of the
hearth
, their naked bodies melded together
.

             
He smiled
ruefully
and rolled onto his side, taking her with him.  Reaching up, he brushed a lock of hair from her
cheek
and tucked it behind her ear, st
udying her face.  “I’m sorry,
I los
t control again.  Did I hurt
you
?”

             
“No,
you
didn’t
hurt me.  And I rather lik
e it when
you
lose control. 
You
should do so more often.”

             
He smiled wickedly at her
.  “It’s difficult for me to give up my much va
unted control, lass, but for
you
,
I might sometimes make an exception
.”

             
Her answering smile cut him to the quick,
lighting up her whole face,
and he found himself wanting more than anything to have her smile at him like that always.  He wanted her in his arms like this always.  No other woman had ever made him feel
like this, made him need her so badly, made him feel so alive.  If only things were different, if he could offer her everything she deserved…

             
He was distracted from his thoughts by the feel of her lips as she placed little kisses along his neck, and her hand skimmed the muscles of his chest, pausing to rub a thumb over his nipple.  He groaned deep in his throat, already wanting her again,
reaching for her,
even though he had just left her
moments
ago.

             
“What do
you
do
to me…”

Chapter
14

             
Ceann
forced himself to si
t at his desk in the study; there was much that needed his attention, from correspondence with neighboring clans and requests for aid, to disputes between tenant farmers over
livestock and grain prices.  He sighed.  This was his least favorite part of being laird.  He much preferred to be wielding a sword, or even repairing a
cottage
.
Anything but sitting at a desk
studying ledgers
.

             
The
re
was a knock at the door, and Ethan walked in before he could open his mouth to answer.  Ceann shot him an annoyed look.  “Come in, Ethan.”  Ethan ignored him and sat down in the chair opposite the desk.  “If
you
put
your
boots on my desk
again
, I’ll bloody
your
nose.”

             
“
I’ve just come from the village, Ceann. 
Old Mrs. Ferguson
needs a new roof on her
cottage
.  It was leaking into the hearth with the last rain and putting out the fire.” 

             
“
You
came here to tell me about Mrs. Ferguson’
s roof?  Why are
you
bothering me when
you
can
take care of
it
your
self?  Can
you
not see I’m busy?  Damn it Ethan!”  He slammed his fist down on the desk, making the ink bottle jump and threaten to fall over.  Ethan reached out and steadied it
with a sigh.

             
“Are
you
going to tell me what’s bothering
you
, then?  I mean besides the usual lot.”

             
“There’s nothing bothering me”, Ceann
bit out.

             
“Oh.  Well in that case, I’ll tell Mrs. Ferguson
you
’ll see to fixing her roof right away.”  He made to stand up and leave, but hesitated just a moment: he knew his friend all too well.

             
Ceann pushed his hands through his hair, groaned, and then said quietly, “I took her.”

             
Ethan sat back down
, raising an eyebrow
.  “Ella?”

             
“Aye.  She was a maid.  I ruined her.”

             
“She was willing?” Ethan asked hesitantly.

             
“Aye!  Of course she was willing, what kind of man do
you
think I am?  But I was still wrong to take her, when I have no
intention of keeping her
.  Damn it, I
don’t
even
know
who he
r
kin are.  I could have
just
started a
bloody
war, for all I
know
.”

             
“I
don’t
think it will come to war.”  Ethan struggled to keep his lips from turning up in a smile.  “I
don’t
see the problem, Ceann.  The lass w
as willing, and there won’t
be any
uh
… consequences
to
come
later
, aye?”