Gilbert and Louis Rule the Universe: First Impressions (19 page)

“No it’s fine.
I’ll just walk home.”

“Okay, baby,
nighty
-night.”
She says and waves me off.
“Call me when you get home and lock the door behind you.”

“Uh, huh,” I say.
As I walk away, I notice her phone is in her purse, which is sitting on a chair near the front door.
Nowhere near earshot.
Safety first, Mom.

I walk right by the Fabulous Five who are still scheming up ways to go talk to the boys.
My head is swimming.

As soon as I am out the door I text Gilbert.
Coming over.

We spend the rest of New Year’s Eve on the couch not saying much, with a bowl of popcorn and a bag of Reese’s Pieces (totally the best combo ever) watching the ball drop with Ryan
Seacrest
.

Chapter 19

Saturday, January 2

Today’s Horoscope: Get ready to be surprised.

Since all my friends are all
MIA
,
I spend a lot of my free time practicing on my skateboard.
I can now roll down my driveway, do a kick-turn and head back the way I came.
I am on the grass working on my Ollie when Jason walks up.

“Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,”
I say.

“Looks like you are getting pretty good.”
Jason motions to the skateboard.

“Yeah, I’
ve been practicing.”

“So where are all your girls?”
Jason asks. “I didn’t see them at Ralph’s house on New Year’s.”

“I know, they are being totally lame.
Alex is still depressed, Rowan is actually dating Jimmy, can you believe?
And Riley is dating that guy Winston.”

“Looks like you are all alone,”
Jason says.
Thanks for pointing out the obvious.
“So why is Alex depressed?”

“
Hello
, because of what you said about you guys setting Dylan up with a girl. You know Alex likes him.”

“Whatever, dude.
He’s just having a good time up in Tahoe.
It was Ralph’s idea, he just knew of a super
hottie
up there and suggested they hang out. Tell her not to trip over it.”

“But what an asshole.
You guys knew they were hanging out.”

“Whatever, Leah, it’s no big deal.”

Boys are so retarded.

Jason pulls out his phone, I continue to practice my
Ollies
.
I guess the conversation is over, except the curiosity is getting to me.

“Who are you texting?”
I ask.

“I just told Ralph to come down.”

“Are you kidding?”
I am
flabbergasted
.

“What?”
Jason asks like he has done nothing wrong.

“Jason, he’s such a… such a…”
I can’t even think of a heinous enough word for him.

“Come on, Ralph’s not such a bad guy.”

Not that I care but I take off my helmet and pads and shake my hair out of my ponytail.
Jason grabs my board and starts practicing his kick-flips while I sit down on the grass.

Ralph walks down the street and, don’t tell anyone, but he looks super hot with his jeans, tight t-shirt and no shoes. I try not to look him in the eye.

“What’s up?”
He says as he approaches.

“Not much," Jason says,
“We were just
hangin
’.”

I run my fingers through my hair.
“So what are you up to?”
I ask Ralph, trying to be kind.

“I am packing.
I head back to school tomorrow.”
Good riddance.

“Well, I
gotta
get going.”
Jason says.
Wait, what?
But he just called Ralph to come down.
Ralph and I both look at him like he is insane.
What is he doing leaving the two of us alone together?
The boys seem to have a little conversation with their eyes.
I can’t imagine what the hell is going on.
Jason hands Ralph my skateboard and walks off. “You two
,
be good.”

Ralph and I stand there.
I keep waiting for him to head home.
I am so confused about the whole thing I don’t quite know what to do.
Ralph just stands there and picks at the grip tape on my skateboard.

I start to say I should probably go in, but Ralph interrupts me, “Leah, there is something I want to ask you.”

I am reaching for my skateboard but stop my hand mid-way.

Ralph looks down at it and goes on.

“I know we don’t know each other very well, but I was thinking, even though you are in seventh grade and I am in eighth, that, well, maybe we could go out.”

I am in total shock.
I can’t move, speak, or breathe.
Finally, I blink.
Did Ralph just ask me to date him?
It has to be a mistake. It must be some boarding school thing meaning he wants to go out down the street or something.

“Go out where?”
I ask.

Ralph looks terribly uncomfortable.
“I mean, you know, like go out, go out.
Like boyfriend/girlfriend.”

What the
what?
Is this guy nuts?
I mean, I would never.
And why does he keep pointing out the fact that I am a seventh grader?
I mean, in the great scheme of things, we are practically the same age.

“You are not so superior, being an entire grade ahead of me.”
I say.
Clearly this is not the answer Ralph is looking for.

“Um, sorry, I just meant, that, you know, the fact that we are in different classes, some people will talk,” he says.
What an ass.

“Oh, yeah?
Because you are
sooo
mature,” is the best I can come up with.

“No, forget it.
That’s not what I wanted to talk about…it’s just you are different then the other girls I know…”
he is stammering.

“Oh yeah, how is that?” I ask.

“You’re just different.
Like your family and my family are different.”

“In what way, because we don’t have as much money as your family?”
I know we have trouble keeping up with the
Deutchmans
, as I carry a
Jansport
backpack and not a fancy leather purse, but please.

“No, that’s not…” Ralph tries to go on.

I blow up.
“Ralph, there is no way I would go out with you!
First of all, you’re a druggie.
That’s why you are at that stupid boarding school.”
My voice is rising, but I can’t help myself.
“Second, you broke up Winston and your sister.
And the worst is that you set Dylan up with one of your “hot” (I used air quotes to
accentuate
my point) girlfriends up in Tahoe when you know he is dating Alex! I’m not buying your high and mighty, I’m a
n eighth grader,
richy
-rich act!
” I am practically yelling now.
“There is no way I would go out with you!
I
can’t believe you even asked me!
”

Ralph looks stunned.
He opens his mouth but closes it again.
He turns around and begins to walk away, but he still has my skateboard in his hands.
He walks back and thrusts it at me.
 

“
Here.
You know, Leah, you don’t know everything.” I take the board and watch him go.
I have done the right thing, I think, so why is my heart beating so fast?

Chapter 20

Monday, January 4

Today’s Horoscope: Stay above the fray.

Gilbert and I meet at the corner on our way to school.
Gilbert’s mother had to go to work early and my mom made us walk.

“I am totally over Dylan,”
Gilbert declares as we hoof it to school.
“I am not even going to mention his name again.”

“That’s great,
Gilb
.
He’s not even worth your time.”
We nod our heads in agreement.
I have to tell her.

“You are never going to believe what happened to me yesterday.”
She gives me a look.
“You know Ralph?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“What!?
What did you say?”

“I said no, of course.
I mean he is such a jerk.”

“Totally.
I can’t believe he asked you out!
I mean not that guys shouldn’t be asking you out, but you know what I mean.”

“Totally.”

“Well, thank goodness, you told him no. I mean he is practically the reason that Dylan and I broke up.”
She throws her hand over her mouth as she mentions Dylan’s name.