Girls Only! (15 page)

Jenna held her hand even higher, hoping Mr. Lowell would hurry and look her way before she lost her nerve. She sat as tall as she could in her seat. Filled with confidence, she was reaching for the uneven parallel bars in her mind. She was doing her best to “see” her routine, while Mr. Lowell paid absolutely no attention.

Stretch, catch, swing, kick
. . .

Mr. Lowell looked up. “Yes, Jenna?”

“Uh . . .” She glanced over at Chris and Jamey. Could she follow through?

Beat the nerves
, Coach Kim was always saying.

She took a deep breath. “I need to see you after class, please,” she said.

“That will be fine,” her homeroom teacher said.

Chris and Jamey wilted like old lettuce. And they didn’t look her way even once with a rude or racist gesture the entire period.

Despite her worries, things went okay with Mr. Lowell. “I’m glad you told me, Jenna. I won’t tolerate that sort of behavior in my homeroom,” he insisted when she’d spilled out the whole story.

“I really didn’t want to get anyone in trouble,” she was quick to say. “It’s just that . . . well, I’m sick and tired of their faces and constant slurs.”

“You shouldn’t have to put up with that nonsense.” He smiled at her. “I’ll handle things.”

Before she left the classroom, he thanked her.

“I hope I did the right thing,” she said.

“You did the
best
thing for Chris and Jamey. Mr. Seeley will want to know about this.”

Mr. Seeley—her principal—would come down hard on the boys. She was sure of it.

Rounding the corner to math, she spied Chris and Jamey. Their drooping faces gave them away. “We don’t like snitches,” Chris said, mustering up some courage.

She kept walking, ignoring them.

“Why’d ya have to go and tell?” Jamey whined, following close behind her.

She stopped. “Why’d you have to keep bugging me?” Their mouths dropped open.

“You’ve had your warped fun, now leave me alone!” With that, she turned and escaped into her math class.

Relieved to be in a class without the boys, she chose a desk close to the front. Taking a deep breath, she opened her homework.

Out flew the adoption pamphlet. “What’s this doing here?” she whispered and leaned down to rescue it from the floor.

“Hey, what’s that?” someone said.

Jenna sat up to see Cassie sliding into the desk across the aisle. “Oh, it’s . . .” She almost said “nothing.”

“Let’s see it.” And before Jenna could stop her, Cassie reached for the brochure.

Jenna’s heart was pounding. She didn’t want
everyone
to know about her parents’ plans for adoption. It wasn’t anyone else’s business!

“Where’d you get this?” Cassie persisted, turning the pages.

Jenna felt her face burning. “I . . . uh, can we talk about this later?”

Cassie glanced around. “How come?”

“Just because.” Jenna’s embarrassment was turning to anger.

“Is somebody in your family going to adopt a baby?” asked Cassie, leaning over and handing the pamphlet back.

Jenna didn’t want to admit it. But she felt almost helpless, afraid of what Cassie might think. Especially if her friend knew how selfish Jenna had been.

Cassie crouched on the floor beside her. “Listen, Jenna, not too many people know this, but
I’m
adopted. And it’s the greatest thing . . . really.”

Surprised, Jenna looked—
really
looked—at her friend. “I never knew that.”

“Well, it’s true. Just ask my parents.” Cassie’s eyes sparkled with her smile.

“That’s amazing.”

“My big sister thought so, too, way back when,” Cassie said as she looked inside her book bag. Out came her wallet, and the next thing Jenna saw was a snapshot of Cassie and her older sister. “Stacy’s nearly ten years older, but that never kept us from being close.”

“But . . . I thought Stacy was your
real
sister. She looks so much like you,” Jenna managed to say.

“She’s a real sis, all right. In every way that counts. And about looking alike, well, my parents just happened to hook up with an agency that matched ethnic backgrounds.”

“Cool,” Jenna said. And she meant it. What Cassie had just said
was
really cool. In fact, the same thing was going to happen to her and her new baby brother.

In every way that counts
. . .

Jenna couldn’t get the words out of her head!

When the bell rang at the end of first hour, Jenna could hardly wait to find her best friend. What
did
Livvy have in mind for this Saturday?

Dashing back to their locker, she hoped to find Livvy there. No sign of her friend in the hall. She’d have to wait till P.E.

Frustrated, she trudged off to a gigantic English test.
How will I ever survive this day?
she wondered.

Only the Best

Chapter Fourteen

There was no time to grab a conversation with Livvy during or after P.E. So Jenna headed off to gymnastics without hearing her best friend’s plan.

Things actually went well with the team. All eight of them. Jenna led warm-ups—twelve long stretches and several tumbling passes for each girl.

Then Coach Kim came over and gave them a solid pep talk. He was known for his short but straight-to-the-point approach. His talks made his gymnasts think and remember long afterward.

“We’re here to do our best,” he said. “Only our best.”

Jenna glanced at Cassie, sitting next to her on the bench. She wondered how the zip in Coach Kim’s voice might affect Cassie’s final decision.

Coach continued. “Are we a team? Are we in this together? Do we breathe, see, and taste victory?”

The girls nodded, some clapping after each question.

Jenna saw the enthusiasm on Coach’s face and the energy in his step as he paced back and forth. His words made her feel as if she were born to do the sport. More than anything, she wanted to compete. More than anywhere else, she could be herself inside the walls of a gym. She was at home here. At Alpine Aerials Gymnastics!

And things would go just fine in Colorado Springs, too. She was sure of it. They were a team. Like family.

We’re in this together
. . . .

On the drive home, Jenna kept sneaking glances at her mom. “You should’ve heard Coach Kim today,” she said as they waited at a red light. “He was really pounding nails.”

Her mother seemed dazed, out of it. “I’m sorry, what did you say, Jen?”

“Coach Kim . . .” She stopped. No sense repeating herself. Mom was in nursery land somewhere. Jenna knew by the dreamy look in her eyes. And even though Mom seemed to be paying attention to traffic, her mind
was probably on Jonathan—a gift from God. That’s what his name meant in the book of names Dad had purchased.

Jenna had sneaked a peek at the name book. She’d looked up the baby’s name. Hers too. Jenna meant “God is gracious.” Seeing those words after her name made her feel special.

“You must see the darling nursery lamp I bought today,” Mom was saying.

Jenna was right. Her mom
was
daydreaming about the new baby.

“It’s the cutest thing. A white sliver of a moon with a cow jumping over it.” Mom pulled into the parking spot at the curb in front of their three-story brick house. “I almost bought the lamp with the Humpty Dumpty design on it, but there was just something wonderful about that cow. . . .”

Jenna didn’t attempt a comment. Nothing she might’ve said or asked would have been heard or answered anyway. Honestly, she’d never seen her mother like this. Not even the day Jenna placed first at State on beams and bars two years ago!

“Let’s head right upstairs,” her mom said, pulling the parking brake. “I want to show you something.”

Jenna got out on the street side and waited for her mother to come around. The sidewalk was slushy now from yesterday’s snow. All day long, the sun had warmed
things up, making the first day of December almost a no-jacket day.

“God’s smiling down on us,” Mom said as they walked up the steps to the house.

“You mean because of the mild weather?” Jenna thought she’d laugh but held it in. Mom wasn’t her normal self. Not one bit!

Upstairs in the nursery, Jenna checked out the cow-jumping-over-the-moon lamp. It really
was
different. And cute. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” she told her mom.

“Neither have I.” Turning toward the closet, Mom went in search of something. “I want you to have a look at this, Jenna,” she said, her body halfway into the closet.

Jenna waited, not too eagerly, in the white wicker rocker. It was a good choice for the green-and-yellow nursery.

“I bought a baby book for our Jonathan,” Mom said, carrying the book to Jenna. “Just look at all the different things we can write in your brother’s book.”

“We? You don’t mean
me
, do you?” She looked up at her mother.

“I certainly do. Dad and I . . . and you are going to write in this beautiful book. For the new baby.”

Jenna held the book on her lap, hesitating to open the pages. “I wouldn’t know what to write,” she said softly.

“Well, let me give you an idea.” Mom scurried off down the hall to the front of the house, to the master suite.

Jenna had no idea what her mom was searching for. And she didn’t exactly care. But she sat quietly, looking around the room at all the new stuff. The cow lamp, the changing table, and the white crib with a green-and-yellow ruffled quilt and tiny sham to match. On the wall, a matching fabric collage was framed in white wicker—to match the rocking chair, Jenna guessed.

Once or twice, she’d poked her head in here since the certified letter had shown up in the mail. But never had she entered the room or allowed herself to get too close to any of the baby furniture.

“Here we are,” Mom said as she returned to the nursery, holding a white-and-pink book. “Do you remember this?”

Jenna remembered but hadn’t seen
her
baby book for the longest time.

“Look through it, honey. You’ll see the wonderful words Daddy and I wrote for you. Notice all the different stages in your infancy, toddlerhood, and up through your preschool years and beyond.”

Jenna read with great interest. There were pictures, too. Color snapshots of her parents taking turns holding their tiny daughter—Jenna Lynn Song.

She looked closer, and sure enough! The very same goofy look was on her mother’s face in these pictures. The same glazed, almost spaced-out look she’d seen in the car today.

“We fell instantly in love with you,” her mom said, kneeling beside the rocking chair. “Look there, how Daddy and I fussed over you.”

The picture showed her parents leaning over a crib, on either side, cooing into Jenna’s baby face.

“Who took the picture?” she asked.

Mom grinned. “Your father had an automatic camera back then, all set up on a tripod. It was one of his grown-up toys.”

Jenna couldn’t help herself. She laughed out loud.

“What’s so funny?” asked Mom.

“Nothing really . . . and everything, too.” She was making at least as much sense as her mom. Or anyone else waiting to adopt a baby, she guessed.

Only the Best

Chapter Fifteen

“Guess what I did after I got home from gymnastics yesterday?” Jenna asked Livvy on the phone the next day.

“Beats me.”

“C’mon, guess!”

“Honestly, Jenna, I don’t know. Just tell me, will ya?”

She heard the impatience in her friend’s voice. “Okay, okay. I checked out my old baby book.”

“What’s the big deal?”

Jenna was quiet. She wasn’t sure how to say this. “I’m . . . uh, having second thoughts.”

“About what?”

Sighing, Jenna told her. “About being okay with—”

“Your brother’s adoption?” Livvy interrupted.

“Uh-huh.” She wondered what her friend would say now.

“Well, I think it’s about time!” Livvy was laughing. “Are you saying what I think you are?”

“Well, not exactly.”

“So . . . are you
still
going to the meet this Saturday?” Livvy asked, her breathing filling up the silence.

“You don’t have to ask. You know I’m going.” She didn’t want to argue this subject anymore. But it was clear Livvy wasn’t giving up. Her friend had some weird plan, but it was a waste of time. Jenna was sure of it.

“I’ve gotta run,” Livvy said.

“Yeah, me too.”

They hung up, and Jenna hurried to change clothes for the midweek church service.

After church, Uncle Nam motioned to her. He was carrying his baby boy—Jenna’s new cousin—showing him off. “You haven’t said hello to Kyung yet.” Her uncle leaned down so she could have a close-up look.

Jenna peered down into the face of the tiny bundle. “Oh, he’s cute,” she whispered, touching the tiny cheek with her pointer finger.

“Kyung’s
handsome
—the handiwork of God,” crowed Uncle Nam.

“You’re right,” she said.

Unexpectedly, Baby Kyung wrapped his teeny fingers around her own, and her heart did a double salto with a full twist. “How sweet,” she whispered, surprised at her reaction.

Uncle Nam was more than a proud father. He was generous, too. “Would you like to hold him?” he asked.

“Uh . . . I better not.” Jenna hadn’t been one to baby-sit or take care of little ones through the years. In fact, she had never baby-sat like many of her girlfriends. Every free moment was spent at the gym.

“He won’t break,” Uncle Nam persisted.

If I hold him, he might
, she thought.

But before she could voice her concern, the cuddly young cousin was in her arms. The baby made adorable squeaky sounds, almost happy sounds, Jenna thought. And nearly without thinking, she began to rock him gently.

Why was I so afraid?
she wondered.
Babies aren’t so bad
.

Just then her aunt came down the aisle. “It’s getting late,” she said, a denim baby bag slung over her shoulders. “We must head home . . . tuck our baby into his cradle.”

Reluctantly, Jenna returned her cousin to his father. “Bye-bye, handsome baby,” she said softly.

Uncle Nam nodded, wearing a big smile. “Remember . . . he’s God’s creation.” Then he turned and headed
for the foyer area, talking in Korean to his sleeping son, then to his wife.