Give Me a Reason (39 page)

“And he’s okay with that?”

“I don’t know. I never asked, and I don’t really care.”

Surprised by Laura’s response, Toni took a second to study
her partner’s face. Seeing that Laura’s jaw was now clenched, Toni decided to
tread lightly. “Okay...um...how about what he looks like then?”

“Oh…right. Well, he’s a bit taller than my mum and slim. He’s
got sandy brown hair, like what you’d expect from someone who spent most of
their life on the water, and, of course, he’s permanently tanned. He’s got…”

After waiting for a few seconds for Laura to finish her sentence,
when she didn’t Toni asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I just realized I have no idea what color his eyes are.”

“Well, it doesn’t sound like you’ve spent a lot of time with
him.”

“No, hardly any. Just at family gatherings...birthdays and
the like.”

“Does he still work on the boats?”

“Um…no. Mum told me that he took a desk job a few years ago
at one of the fisheries. He was apparently having some back problems and he
couldn’t handle working on the water any longer.”

“Okay,” Toni said, following it with a sip of wine. “And this
aunt of yours, Nancy, she’s your dad’s sister, isn’t she?”

“Yep, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her.”

“Why?”

“Like I said, Bill is slender and about your height, whereas
Nancy is taller and...and quite a bit heavier.”

“A bit?”

Rolling her eyes, Laura said, “Okay, more than a bit.”

Toni sat up, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Come on, out
with it.”

“She’s just, well, a little over-the-top when it comes to
clothes and things.”

“Things?”

Trying to suppress a laugh, Laura said, “Right, so she’s a
bit large, and she has these really,
really
big breasts, and she tends to wear clothes that are quite flowery and bright.”

“How flowery?”

“She could give Laura Ashley a run for her money.”

“Oh my.”

“And she’s got red hair. Dyed, I’m sure, and she’s quite, I
don’t know...bouncy.”

“Well, with large breasts...”

Playfully slapping Toni’s leg, Laura said, “That’s not what I
mean. She’s like a bee that can’t decide which flower to settle on. Whenever we
visit, she’s always flouncing around the house, doing this and that, all the
while spouting praises about her daughters. Don’t get me wrong, I love my
cousins, but the woman
never
stops going on
about them.”

“Didn’t you say she has three?”

“Yes. Alice, Dorothy and Peggy.”

“Tell me about them.”

“Well, let’s see...Alice is thirty-six, and married to a man
named Ron, who’s her second husband. She has an eight-year-old daughter, Emma,
from her first marriage and a one-year-old girl named Cara with Ron. She works
in a restaurant, and Ron works in construction.”

“She look like her mum?” Toni asked with a leer.

“No, actually she looks more like her dad. He was rather thin
and tall, sort of like John.”

“Was?”

“Larry died about ten years ago. Heart attack on a golf
course.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.”

“Yeah.” Laura took a sip of wine and said, “Where was I?”

“You were saying that Alice looks more like her father.”

“Yes, and her daughter, Emma, is the spitting image of her,
right down to the freckles.”

“Okay,” Toni said, pausing to take a sip of wine. “Who’s
next?”

With her second eye-roll of the evening, Laura said, “That
would be Dorothy.”

“Let me guess, she’s a bit like her mum?”

“The same, yet different.”

“Do tell,” Toni said, leaning forward in interest.

Smiling, Laura said, “Dorothy is built just like her mum,
just not as heavy.”

“Huge knockers, eh?”

“Will you behave!”

“
I’m
not the one who keeps
bringing up breasts. You know, for a once upon a time straight woman, you sure
pay attention to—”

“It’s not that I pay attention. It’s that...it’s that they’re
pretty bloody hard to miss!”

Dissolving into a fit of laughter at the expression on
Laura’s face, it took Toni a couple of minutes before she was able to pull
herself together. Wiping the tears from her face, she said, “I love it when you
get flustered.”

“And I love it when you laugh like that,” Laura said, gazing
back at the woman. “So, should I carry on?”

After allowing one last giggle to escape, Toni said, “Please
do.”

“Okay, so like I was saying, Dorothy is built like her mum
and has the same taste in clothes, but she buys them in a much smaller size,”
Laura said, playfully glaring at Toni when she began to titter again. “She has
red hair, too, but hers
doesn’t
come out of a
bottle, and she likes to wear lots of makeup, lots of jewelry, and lots of
perfume.”

“It sounds like she has
lots
of money.”

“No, that’s where her husband comes in. He’s a...” The word
died in her throat, and closing her eyes, Laura said, “Shit!”

“He’s a shit?”

Laura shook her head. “No, he’s a doctor.”

“Oh, I see,” Toni said softly. “Well, let’s not worry about
that, shall we? I mean, it’s not like he’s going to show up wearing a white
coat with a stethoscope draped around his neck. Now is he?”

“I doubt it.”

“Good, then let’s move on.”

“Okay, well, Dorothy seems to enjoy the fact that Bernard’s a
doctor—”

“His name’s Bernard?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“The doctor at Thornbridge...his last name was Bernard.”

“Well, this one’s
last
name
is Montgomery-Smythe.”

Realizing her mistake, a flush crept across Toni’s face. “Oh,
right. Well, um...that’s quite a mouthful, isn’t it? Sorry...please go on.”

After taking a sip of wine, Laura said, “They’re actually
very nice, but money has a way of changing some people, and ever since Bernard
became the head of a private hospital in Stirling a couple of years ago,
they’ve both become a bit...well, a bit showy.”

“How so?”

“Fancy cars, fancy clothes and lots of holidays to places
far, far away.”

“Sounds like they’re living the life.”

“Oh, yeah, but like I said, they’re good people, just a
little overblown at times.”

“They have kids, too?”

“As a matter of fact, Dorothy just had her second, Neville,
this past July, which is actually kind of surprising because after Myles, I
doubt I would have ever tried again.”

“Why’s that? Is something wrong with him?”

Laura’s eyes creased at the corners. “Nothing that a good
swift swat on the arse couldn’t cure.”

“A bit of a brat, I’m guessing?”

“Yes, but it’s not really his fault. Everything seemed to
happen for Dorothy and Bernard at the same time. Bernard was offered a job in
Stirling, so they moved back to Scotland shortly before Myles was born, and not
long after that, Bernard’s career took off like a house on fire. So, while they
were attending hospital functions, rubbing elbows with those who could help
further Bernard’s career, Myles stayed at home with his nannies. The problem
was, whenever his parents did come home, they’d lavish him with gifts, and he
apparently got used to it. Mum told me that Myles wasn’t too happy to learn
he’d soon have to share, so I can just imagine what he’s like now.”

“Well, we won’t have long before we find out,” Toni said,
taking a sip of wine. “Okay, so far we’ve got a father you don’t know, a cousin
with freckles, a construction worker, a doctor, an aunt and a cousin who are
both well-endowed, and a brat. Who’s next?”

“That would be Peggy,” Laura said with a smile. “She’s my age
and married to Stephen, who’s a firefighter in Falkirk. They have two boys.
Paul, who’s five, and Gavin, who’s three, and their third is due in February.”

“Wow.”

“Yes, well, Peggy always said she wanted a big family and so
did Stephen, so I guess they’re going to get their wish.”

“And how about you? Do you want a big family?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Liar.”

“A bit too soon to talk about that, don’t ya think?”

“It’s just talk, and I think I’d best know what I’m getting
myself into. Don’t you?”

“Well, since you put it that way, yes, I’d like to have a few
kids.”

“How many,
exactly
, is a
few?”

“I don’t know, three or…or maybe four.”

“Four!” Toni blurted. Quickly regrouping, she said, “Well, I
guess I should consider myself lucky that you weren’t going for an even
half-dozen.”

Biting her lip, Laura stared back at Toni.

“You’ve
got
to be kidding,”
Toni said, her eyes opening wide. “Six!”

“What can I say, I’ve always wanted a big family,” Laura said
quietly.

The room fell silent, and for a few moments, they simply
stared at one another until Laura whispered, “Are we going to have kids, Toni?”

Toni tilted her head to the side as if to ponder the
question, even though she already knew the answer. “Yeah, I think we are, but I
can’t promise—”

“I’m not asking for promises, Toni. Like you said, this is
just talk. No worries.”

Toni didn’t think it was possible to love Laura any more, but
it seemed as each day passed her love for Laura grew. She had become Toni’s
anchor. Weighted with honesty and caring, her words soothed and Toni knew there
wouldn’t be worries, not as long as Laura was by her side. Curling her finger
at the woman, Toni said, “Come here.”

Smiling, Laura slowly crawled across the sofa, and snuggling
against the woman she loved, she pressed her mouth to Toni’s. The kiss was slow
and sensual, and with no need to rush, seconds turned into minutes as their
lips touched again and again...and again. A short time later, their blood heated
and their breathing ragged, hand in hand they climbed the stairs together.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Seventeen minutes. She had spent four days trying to ready
herself for what was about to happen in seventeen minutes, and while she was
sure that she had managed to clear one hurdle, the second was impossible. Toni
was prepared to teach as she always had. To instruct, to listen and to guide
would not be the problem, but the ritualistic greeting that so many took for
granted would be her undoing…and she knew it.

Although it was their custom to carpool on Fridays, unsure if
the contributors would want any additional time at the end of the day, Laura
had suggested that they take two cars, and Toni jumped at the chance.
Throughout the night, she had tossed and turned, and when she awoke, the
thought of food had caused her stomach to flip, so after drinking a quick cup
of coffee, she was out the door. And now, sixteen minutes before she would
unravel in front of strangers, her belly began to boil over.

Feeling the bile rise in her throat, Toni jumped to her feet.
Running out of the classroom as fast as she could, she sprinted down the
corridor to the staff restroom. Fumbling in her pocket for the keys, when the
door suddenly opened from within, she pushed past a startled Susan Grant and
darted across the room. Sliding to her knees in front of the toilet, Toni
emptied her stomach into the white porcelain fixture.

Susan didn’t think twice. Locking the door, she grabbed some
towels from the dispenser, ran them under some cold water and then went over to
where Toni was kneeling. Blanching at the sound of the woman’s heaving, Susan
waited quietly by her side, and as she did, her eyes shifted to the gap between
Toni’s trousers and her cardigan. Quickly covering her mouth to prevent her
gasp from escaping, Susan turned away as her eyes grew moist. She knew of
Toni’s past, but knowing and seeing were two different things and nothing could
have prepared her for the horrific scars she had just seen. Realizing that Toni
had quieted, Susan pulled herself together, knelt by Toni’s side and held out
the towels. “Here, take these.”

Unaware that she wasn’t alone, Toni’s first instinct was to
shrink away, but when she looked up and saw Susan, Toni relaxed against the
wall and took the towels from her hand.

“Thanks,” Toni croaked, wiping the sweat from her brow.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to call Laura?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“But you’re ill.”

With a huff, Toni leaned her head against the wall. “I’m not
sick. I’m nervous. There’s a difference.” Raking her fingers through her hair,
she said, “Just leave me alone. I’ll be fine.”

A few months earlier, under an overhang in the rain, Susan
had had her first conversation with Toni Vaughn. While it was hardly profound,
centering mostly on the weather and the whereabouts of Laura MacLeod, it was
still a conversation. Since that day, Susan had made it a point to take her
cigarette breaks whenever Toni did, excited that the reclusive teacher had
finally begun to come out of her shell. Now, kneeling on the floor next to her,
leaving Toni alone was the last thing on Susan’s mind. “Tell me what I can do.”

“How about becoming me for the next hour,” Toni said with a
huff, tossing the damp towels in the rubbish bin.

Pausing for a moment, Susan asked, “Is this about Jacoby,
Wilkinson and Bennett?”

“Who?”

“The men doing the tour today,” Susan said. “You know, they
really aren’t that bad.”

“They’ve already monitored your class?”

“Yes, first thing this morning. Laura brought them up and
introduced them, and after a few handshakes, they went to the back of the room,
took their seats and were quiet as mice for the entire hour. I didn’t even know
they were there, so I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. Just
teach your class like you always do, and you’ll be fine.”

“It’s not the teaching part that has me worried.”

“No?”

“I’ve spent all week gearing up for it, so I’m certain…well,
I’m
fairly
certain I can handle that part.”

“Then what made you just lose your lunch…or was that your
breakfast?” Susan asked, dimples forming as she glanced toward the toilet.

Snorting, Toni said, “It was my breakfast. What there was of
it.”

“You know, if you tell me what’s wrong, I might be able to
help.”

“No offense, but I doubt it.”

“Then there’s no reason why you can’t tell me what’s got you
so wound up, now is there?”

Pausing for a moment, Toni let out a sigh. “I don’t like to
be touched. Okay? And I’ve got a huge problem with trusting strangers,
especially men, and in…” Pausing to look at her watch, Toni’s heart skipped a
beat. “…and in nine minutes, three of the bastards are going to walk into my
classroom and expect me to shake their hands, and I can’t do it. I bloody can’t
do it!”

The fear in Toni’s voice broke Susan’s heart, and with the
vision of Toni’s scars still in her head, Susan was close to tears. In silence,
she racked her brain, trying to think of some way to help, and then all of a
sudden she jumped to her feet. “Stay here.”

“What?”

“Lock the door when I leave and don’t let anyone in. I’ll be
back in a minute.”

“What are you going to do?”

Opening the door, Susan looked in Toni’s direction. “I’m
going to ask you to trust me Toni. Just let me in when I get back, and I
promise you, the…the
bastards
won’t touch
you.”

***

“Got a minute?”

Looking up from her desk, Laura smiled as John walked into
her office. Glancing at her watch as he sat in one of the chairs facing her
desk, she said, “I’ve got about fifteen, or do our visitors need me?”

“No, they’re fine. They wanted some one-on-one time with our
students, so I dropped them off in the lounge.”

“Oh, okay. So, what’s up?”

“I’m not sure how I should say this,” John said, rubbing his
jaw.

“What’s wrong? I thought they were enjoying their visit.”

“What? Oh, no, Laura, this isn’t about them.”

“No?”

“No…it’s about you, or rather it’s about some rumors that are
going around Calloway about you and Toni Vaughn.”

“What kind of rumors?”

“Well, we all know that you two are housemates, but some of
the women are starting to…well, they’re starting to insinuate that you’re more
than just friends, if you get my drift.”

Laura put down her pen, leaned back in her chair and folded
her arms. “And what if what they’re saying is true?”

John’s eyes nearly came out of their sockets as he stared
back at Laura. “Really?”

Without uttering a word, Laura simply nodded in reply.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” John said in a whisper.

“Is this going to be a problem, John?”

Noticing Laura’s stern expression, John grinned. “There’s a
whole chapter in our rule book about consorting with students, Laura, but as
far as I know, teachers are fair game.”

Tickled by John’s response, Laura asked, “And how about you?
Is this going to bother you?”

“Laura, I’m a live-and-let-live kind of man. You should know
that by now, and besides, if you remember, Christopher’s gay and that’s never
bothered me. Why should this be any different?”

Smiling, Laura let out the breath she had been holding.
“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” he said as he stood up. “And speaking of
Toni, how did she do today with the tour? Over the past few months, I’ve
noticed a change in her, but I wasn’t sure if she’d be able to handle strangers
in her classroom yet.”

“Actually, that’s the next class they’re monitoring.”

“Oh, I would have thought you’d have arranged to get that out
of the way first thing, for Toni’s sake, that is.”

“I would have, but they practically demanded to see her teach
the remedial reading class, and unfortunately, that’s her last class of the
day. I couldn’t very well say no, now could I?”

“Not with all the money they’re talking about giving us.”

“Exactly, and Toni seemed okay this morning. A bit nervous,
but she’s had the whole week to get ready for this, so I think she’ll be just
fine.”

“And if she isn’t?”

Seeing the worried look on John’s face, she gave him a wink.
“Don’t worry, John. She’ll be fine. Trust me.”

***

Running into the house, Laura tossed her handbag on a chair
and whipped out of her coat. “I’m home! Where are you?”

“I’m in here,” Toni called back.

Rushing to the kitchen, Laura rounded the corner just in time
to see Toni remove what was left of the bandage wrapped around her right hand.

“What the hell did you do to your hand?” Laura asked, quickly
pushing aside the gauze to examine the injury. Seeing the skin clear of cuts or
scrapes, she said, “I don’t understand.”

“It was Susan’s idea,” Toni said, throwing away the bandage.

“Susan? Susan Grant?”

“Yeah. I had a bit of a…well, a nervous stomach, and I ran
into her in the loo.”

“You were sick?”

“I was wound up, Laura, and when Susan asked me what was
wrong, I told her. I knew I could teach the bloody class, but the handshaking.
I just...I just couldn’t do it, and she came up with the idea of the bandage.
Apparently, a few years back, she had cut her hand just before a conference and
spent the entire weekend unable to offer a proper greeting because of it.”

“But you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Toni said, flexing her hand. “And I think I
pulled it off. Don’t you?”

Relieved, Laura let out a long, loud sigh. “You were amazing,
and they loved your class. They couldn’t stop talking about it.”

“Then we should celebrate, and since I think I still have at
least an ounce or two of courage left in me today, how about you take me out to
dinner?”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. As long as it’s quiet and not too busy. Okay?”

“Doable. Very doable. Just let me go up and change, and we
can go,” Laura said, quickly placing a kiss on Toni’s cheek before she darted
from the room.

Pouring herself a cup of coffee, Toni leaned against the
counter and smiled.

Earlier that afternoon, Laura had led three rather
distinguished gentlemen into Toni’s classroom. Although she noticed Laura’s
eyes bulge at the sight of the bandage wrapped around her hand, Laura never
said a word, but instead went about the introductions. The first man
immediately offered his hand, and sheepishly Toni held up hers. Nodding his
understanding, he expressed concern for her injury, which Toni quickly shrugged
off, and after being escorted to their seats in the back of the room, for the
next hour they watched and listened as Toni taught.

Toni’s day had started with a belly churning with anxiety and
absolutely no confidence, but as she sipped her coffee, she realized that not
only had her confidence returned, it had done so with a vengeance. Placing her
cup on the counter, she sauntered from the room, and as she trotted up the
stairs, she had only one thing on her mind...and it wasn’t dinner.

Getting to the bedroom, Toni leaned against the door frame
and quietly sniggered at the mess Laura had created in only a matter of minutes.
Her suit jacket and skirt had been tossed onto the bed, and her low-heeled
black pumps had been kicked off near the wardrobe. A few clothing choices that
had been pulled from their hangers now lay in a heap at the foot of the bed,
and the assortment of makeup Toni had straightened just that morning was now,
again, covering the surface of the low, boxy table.

Shaken from her thoughts as Laura walked from the bathroom
wearing jeans and a brushed cotton shirt, Toni gestured toward the mess.
“Couldn’t decide what to wear?”

Well aware of her ability to destroy a room whilst picking
out clothes, Laura giggled at the disarray. Sitting at the makeup table to make
a few adjustments, she looked in the mirror at Toni’s reflection. “I wasn’t
sure if you wanted formal or casual, and then I remembered that little bistro
we pass on the way to work. I thought we’d try there tonight. Okay?”

“Sounds good to me,” Toni said as she strolled across the
room. Placing her hands on Laura’s shoulders, Toni leaned down and placed a
soft kiss on her neck.

Unconsciously, Laura moved to allow Toni more room. Enjoying
the sensation of her lips against her skin, when Toni began to nibble her
earlobe, Laura grinned. “What are you doing?”

“Saying hello,” Toni whispered.

Laura’s body reacted instantly to Toni’s ministrations, and
her words spilled out in a breath. “But you already did that.”

“True,” Toni said as she reached around and slowly began to
unbutton Laura’s shirt. “But I didn’t use my hands.”

Inhaling sharply as Toni’s hands covered her breasts, Laura
closed her eyes and leaned her head against Toni’s chest, and as the woman
continued to grope and squeeze, Laura felt her passion begin to stir.

Pushing the fabric from Laura’s shoulders, Toni moved the
straps aside, and as the brassiere loosened, she slid her hands under the beige
material and began to gently tweak the erect buds that were now hardened to the
point of ache.

“Oh…my,” Laura said in a breath.

“You like?”

“You know I do…but…but we need to get there before it gets
crowded. Don’t we?”

“It’s early, darling, and this won’t take long,” Toni said,
removing her hands. “Now stand up.”

It was an order, and Laura’s jaw dropped open when she heard
it, but unable to refuse Toni’s demand or the urgent throb in her center, Laura
did as asked. Getting to her feet, before she had a chance to take another
breath, Toni unfastened her bra and threw it aside.

Wrapping Laura in her arms, one of Toni’s hands found a plump
breast while the other meandered downward. Tweaking and rolling the nipple
between her fingertips, Toni smiled into Laura’s neck as the woman squirmed in
her arms, and as instincts began to take over, a primitive dance began.