Give Me a Reason (8 page)

Shuffling her feet, Toni looked at the floor. “Kris...um...the
woman you met the other night in my flat. She’s still out of town, and
I...well...I don’t have any bandages at my place. So...so I was wondering if I
could borrow that first-aid kit for the night. I’ll...I’ll bring it back
tomorrow. I promise.”

“You haven’t changed the dressing since Saturday?” Laura
said, getting to her feet.

“No, I mean yes, but not...not properly.”

Confused, Laura strode across the room and glared at Toni,
defying her to say a word. Unbuttoning the cuff of her sleeve, Laura pushed up
the material and her nostrils flared. “Are you completely mad!” she barked,
seeing the washcloth being held in place by duct tape.

“I didn’t have any bandages—”

“You had my bloody number!”

“I didn’t want to bother—”

“Jesus Christ!” Laura shouted, pointing to the sofa. “Sit
down.”

“Look, if you just let me borrow—”

“I said sit
down
!” Laura
said, before turning on her heel and stomping out of the room.

“Christ,” Toni said under her breath as she hesitantly sat on
the couch. She had never seen Laura MacLeod that angry before, and as she
waited in silence, Toni hoped she’d never have to see it again.

Returning with the kit, and her blood pressure now well
within the range of normal, Laura sat down. Attempting to be an obedient
patient, Toni had rolled up the sleeve of her faded blue shirt, and this time,
when Laura saw the shabby brown washcloth taped to the woman’s arm, she
snickered. Carefully cutting away the tape, Laura quickly discovered that Toni
was telling the truth. Even though the bandage was indeed crude, the wound was
clean, dry and healing.

As Laura worked, Toni’s eyes wandered, and seeing faint,
greenish-yellow bruises on Laura’s wrists, she asked, “Did I do that?”

Looking up, Laura followed Toni’s gaze. “Oh, yeah, but it’s
okay. They’re almost gone.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You were in the midst of a full-blown panic attack. You
didn’t know what you were doing. It’s fine.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t,” Laura said softly. Sitting back, she
tossed the scissors in the case. “Well, there you go. All finished.”

Surprised to see that her arm was already freshly bandaged,
Toni carefully pulled down her sleeve as she stood up. Noticing files scattered
all over Laura’s desk, she said, “I guess I should let you get back to work
now.” Reaching the door, she turned around. “Miss MacLeod?”

“Oh, Toni, please call me Laura.”

“Um...I just wanted to say thanks for...for helping me.”

“You’re quite welcome, Toni.”

“And about your idea for dinner.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry, but...but that’s not something I can do,” Toni
said in a whisper. “I’m sure you understand.”

Chapter Seven

“What’s that?” Toni asked, seeing a package she didn’t
recognize as Kris put away the groceries.

Inwardly, Kris groaned. Without turning around, she said
quietly, “Oh...um...just some new biscuits. They were on sale. I thought you
might like to try them.”

“Oh, sure...whatever.”

A month before, Krista would have been shocked to hear Toni
accept change of any kind, but hairline cracks had begun to appear in the
woman’s cloistered existence, and aspects of her old friend had begun to slip
through. Now, when Kris came over, they talked. Not long, in-depth
conversations, but conversations nonetheless. The changes were subtle, and no
one except Krista and perhaps Laura had noticed, but something other than
despair had begun to take hold of Toni Vaughn.

Noticing a candy bar on the counter, Kris cocked her head to
the side. “Where’d that come from?”

Toni followed her eyes, and the corners of her mouth turned
up a fraction. “Laura.”

“Laura gave you chocolate? Any particular reason?”

“She ran out of fruit,” Toni said as she headed to her
bedroom.

That day had started out like any other day for Toni. She
woke up at five and shuffled into the kitchen to turn on the coffeemaker.
Returning to her bedroom, she pulled on her trainers, jumped on her treadmill
and jogged for an hour, and after showering and pulling on some clothes, she
poured herself a cup of coffee and nibbled some biscuits while she prepared her
lunch. Filling her thermal mug, she grabbed her lunch and headed out the door,
triple-checking all the locks before she headed to work.

Toward late afternoon, she heard the familiar click of heels
on the tile, and though her facial expression didn’t change, in the deep
recesses of Toni’s brain, a smile was born. Looking up as Laura walked into the
room, their eyes met for the briefest of seconds and Toni voiced a very quiet
hello before returning her eyes to the papers scattered on her desk.

Since the day she had visited Laura’s office to get the
first-aid kit, the anxiety Toni always felt around people other than her
students had eased, at least where Laura MacLeod was concerned. Knowing that
she owed the woman something, and buying her dinner was out of the question,
common courtesy would have to do.

Laura took her seat as Toni handed out test papers, and for
the better part of an hour, the only sound to be heard was that of pencils
scratching on paper. Sitting like she always did, her legs crossed at the
ankles and tucked slightly under her chair, Laura’s head remained bowed as she
filled out reports, while Toni sat at the front of the room, occasionally
stealing glances of the department head.

While Toni cared nothing about the clothing she wore, as she
studied the woman at the back of the class, her lip curled just a hair. Partial
to wearing skirts with jackets to match, today Laura was wearing the most basic
of black...and it was basic. It seemed to fit her small frame perfectly, as if
it had been tailored to her curves, but in Toni’s opinion, it lacked a feminine
softness. It spoke of authority and business, and even though it couldn’t be
considered masculine, without the white silk blouse unbuttoned just enough to
show a hint of cleavage, as far as Toni was concerned, Laura’s ensemble was
downright boring.

The tests were gathered and class was dismissed. As the
students shuffled out, Laura gathered her belongings and walked out of the
room, but when Toni turned and saw no apple on her desk, a fissure opened and
the person she once was made an appearance. “Oi!” she hollered. “Where’s my
bloody apple?”

Almost to the stairs, Laura stopped and then turned to look
down the hallway. Her entire face spread into a smile as she slowly walked
back, and as she entered the classroom, Toni wore an actual grin. It wasn’t
ear-to-ear or toothy or over-the-top, but it was definitely a grin…and it
looked wonderful.

Opening her bag, Laura rummaged around until she found a
candy bar, and placing it on Toni’s desk, she said, “I haven’t had time to
shop. Hope you like chocolate.”

***

Amused that Laura was now giving candy to her reclusive
friend, Krista examined the wrapper for a second before dropping the treat on
the counter and going in search of Toni. Finding her rummaging through her tiny
closet mumbling unintelligible words, Krista said, “I’m going to be heading
out, unless there’s something else you need.”

“No, I’m fine,” Toni said, tossing another shirt on the bed.
Turning around to find that Kris had already left the room, Toni jogged up the
hallway to catch her. “Krista.”

“Yeah?”

Stuffing her hands in the pockets her jeans, Toni said, “I
was wondering...well, I thought...I thought maybe, that is if you have the
time, we might be able to go clothes shopping early one morning, before the
crowds get too bad. “

“We?”

“Yeah.”

“As in you and I?”

“If that’s okay?”

Kris told herself to keep her excitement to a minimum, but
she just couldn’t. Squealing, she ran over and pulled Toni into a hug. She
expected what she received from Toni, which was nothing in return, but Kris
didn’t care. She didn’t care one goddamn bit. Holding Toni at arm’s length,
Kris said, “Of course, it’s okay, and there’s no time like the present, so I’ll
be here bright and early tomorrow morning.”

Raising an eyebrow, Toni stared back at her friend. “You
don’t
do
early.”

“Are you serious about this? I mean, about going shopping.”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good, then I’ll be here tomorrow bright
and
early!”

***

Wrapped in a towel, Krista softly padded into the bedroom.
Trying her best not to make a sound, she opened the wardrobe door, but the
hinge squeaked and seconds later, her wife squawked.

“What time is it?” Robin groused from under the sheets.

“A bit past seven, now go back to sleep.”

“Seven? In the morning? On a Saturday? Are you crazy?”

“No, I’m not, now go back to sleep.”

Switching on the bedside lamp, Robin propped a pillow behind
her back and yawned. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she said, “Honey,
what’s going on? You’re never up this early on a weekend.”

“I’m taking Toni shopping,” Kris said, opening a dresser
drawer.

“Oh, okay,” Robin said, sinking into the pillow, but then the
penny dropped. “
You’re what
!” she screamed,
sitting up in bed.

Beaming, Kris rushed to the bed, plopping down practically on
top of Robin in her excitement. “She asked me last night, out of the blue, and
I wasn’t about to say no. I would have told you when I got home, but you were
already asleep.”

“Oh, my God, this is great! Do you want me to go with you? I
don’t mind. I can sleep anytime.”

“Oh, baby, I know you love her and want to help, but I think
she’s going to be nervous enough without adding another person to the mix.
Besides, you know how you get around her.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Giving Robin a quick kiss, Kris headed back to the dresser,
dropping the towel as she rummaged in her lingerie drawer. Hearing Robin’s
whistle, she turned around. “See something you like?”

“Several things, actually,” Robin said, her eyes drinking in
the view. Hopping out of bed, she grabbed her robe and then went over and
playfully pinched Krista’s bum before shuffling into the bathroom. A few
seconds later, she called out, “What time are you picking her up?”

“Just before nine, but I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I
thought I’d make some breakfast. You hungry?”

When no response was given, Kris shrugged and then stepped
into her knickers. Hearing the door open, she glanced over her shoulder, and
her mouth dropped open. Robin was standing in the doorway totally nude.

“As a matter of fact,” Robin purred, pulling Kris into her
arms. “I’m practically starving.”

***

Although briefly sidelined by her oversexed wife, Krista
arrived at Toni’s flat just as promised, bright and early, and found that
Toni’s confidence level had dropped dramatically since the night before. In silence,
Kris watched as Toni stomped about having an animated argument with herself.
With her arms flailing about as expletives were growled, grumbled and shouted,
she nervously paced back and forth and back again. Kris remained silent,
clamping her lips together so as not to laugh, but when Toni handed her the
list of clothes she needed, Krista found her voice.

“Sorry, Toni, that’s not an option,” she said, handing her
back the list.

“I can’t do this, Krista. Just get me a pair of jeans and a
few shirts. That’s all I need.”

“No.”

“Please—”

“No.”

“Krista—”

“It’s not happening, Toni.”

“I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can.”

“No, I can’t!”

“Yes—you—
can
.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I’m doing
this
because last
night,
you
said you wanted to go shopping, and
I didn’t get my arse out of bed
early
on a
Saturday so I can go out and buy you knickers! Now, get it together, Vaughn,
because
you
and I are going out!”

Kris held her breath and prayed she hadn’t pushed too hard.
Even though over the past several weeks she had seen brief glimpses of her old
friend reappear, she was also well aware of how easily Toni could pull back
into herself. She was obviously scared, but she was talking, and shouting, and
whether she knew it or not, she was becoming Toni again.

***

Less than an hour later, after spending ten minutes
convincing Toni to get out of the car, they entered a small shop that offered
its clientele the most basic of clothing. Its shelves were filled with jeans of
every size and color, and racks bulged with T-shirts, Oxfords and the like.
With only one other customer in the store, even though Toni was visibly
nervous, Krista remained at her side while they rummaged through the stacks of
denim. Feeling more like a bodyguard than a friend, Kris, nevertheless, stayed
by Toni’s side, and when clothes had to be tried on, Kris stood guard outside
the changing room door.

Having already found a pair of jeans and two Oxfords, as they
roamed the aisles, Kris noticed that Toni seemed to have lost interest in what
the store had to offer. Browsing through the racks aimlessly, Toni hadn’t
stopped to look at anything seriously in over five minutes.

“Toni, what’s up? I always get your clothes here.”

“I...I just thought, well I mean...I...I—”

“Spit it out, Vaughn.”

Hanging her head, Toni raised her eyes. “The other day at
work, I noticed that most of the staff...well, I mean, Laura wears rather
professional-looking clothes, and I’m always in jeans and T-shirts. So, I
thought maybe I could try to look a bit more...a bit more proper, considering
I’m a teacher and all.”

Failing at hiding her excitement, Kris snatched the clothes
from Toni’s hands. “Why don’t I go pay for this lot, and we’ll go somewhere
else? There are few shops down the street I think you might like.”

With Toni’s credit card in hand, Kris quickly paid for the
purchases, and then hooked her arm through Toni’s as they left the store. Less
than two blocks later, they walked into another shop; however, this one was
upscale and trendy, its racks filled with the finest blouses, cardigans and
trousers.

A bit busier than the last, Krista watched intently for any
sign that Toni was beginning to feel tense. When she saw her hands turn into
fists or her face pale, Kris would move in close, silently offering Toni her
assurances that all would be okay, and all was.

While Toni moved through a rack filled with trousers in the
finest fabrics, Krista stood opposite, fingering through one filled with
leather. Pulling out a pair, she held them up. “How about these?”

“I don’t think they’re proper school attire.”

“You used to wear them all the time when you worked at the
university.”

As soon as the words came out, Krista wanted to die.
Promising Toni years before never to talk about her past life, Kris was afraid
to look up and view the damage she had just caused. Several seconds passed, and
then she heard Toni say, “Back then I was always on the pull.”

Relieved that her misspoken words hadn’t spoiled the day,
Kris breathed easy. “That’s true, but you never know when you’ll need something
for a special occasion.”

Remembering Laura’s suggestion about dinner, Toni glanced at
the leather trousers and sighed. It had once been her favorite material, and
before going to prison, half her wardrobe consisted of leather trousers,
waistcoats and jackets, but that was when she cared. That was when she was
alive.

“No, these are fine. I’ll just try them on,” Toni said
quietly, holding up some dress trousers. Her mind occupied with thoughts of a
life she no longer had, she walked to the dressing room.

Krista knew instantly that there was something on Toni’s mind
other than clothes for work. The woman was terrified of strangers, and she had
just meandered through a boutique now filled with people as if they didn’t
exist. Trotting over to the changing area, Kris stood outside the door. “Toni,
what’s going on?”

Opening the door a few inches, Toni peered out, “What do you
mean?”

Rolling her eyes, Kris said, “I wasn’t born yesterday, Toni.
You just walked through a crowded shop without batting a bloody eye. That tells
me that there’s something on your mind. Now, what is it?”

“It’s nothing,” Toni said, closing the door in Krista’s face.

“You’re lying and we both know it,” Krista said as she tried
the knob. Finding it locked, she stomped her foot. “Damn it, Toni! Open the sodding
door and tell me what the hell is going on.”