Give Me Hope (8 page)

“Have you captured Riley?” I ask. I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that question, but I have to ask it anyway.
 

“Not that I should be telling you this, but no. We have not.”

I bristle at this. “I can be a very valuable asset in your search for him. It’s to both our benefit for you to share information with me.”

“I’m not here to argue or pick a fight, Blake. I came to see Vivienne. Whether you believe it or not, I care about her,” he says. I can hear the sadness in his voice.

“You care, but yet you let this happen?” I ask, still looking at Vivienne. It’s unfair and I know it, but seeing her like this....

“Blake, we both know how this happened, and I can’t turn back time, I can’t bring my officer back any more than I can make Vivienne’s injuries go away.” The more he talks, the more sadness filters into his voice.
 

“I know,” I say. I lean forward, putting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.
 

Neither one of us says anything else for a few minutes. Finally I stand and gesture for him to sit: my peace offering. I go to the opposite side of the bed and sit by her feet, careful not to jostle her. I gently rub along her leg and fight the urge to smile as the heart monitor goes nuts.
 

“She’s like a daughter to me,” Stevens says. “After seeing her in the hospital the last time, I did my best to keep tabs on her. I spoke with Al.”

“Who’s Al?”
 

“The gentleman who drives the bus that she normally takes home after work. I told him to keep a good eye on her because I wasn’t always able to do so.”

“How did Rebecca Black get to her?”

I’m genuinely curious, not accusing, but his head shoots up and he looks hard into my eyes. “We weren’t looking for her. Didn’t know we needed to be looking for her. It wasn’t until one of our drug task force guys noticed Riley coming and going from a well-known drug neighborhood that we started to get suspicious that he was up to no good. At the time that Rebecca was in Vivienne’s diner, Riley was in North Minneapolis. We had no reason to suspect that he would send someone else to talk to her.” He takes a deep breath and rubs his face.
 

“The task force was working on trying to catch him on drug-related charges. They had intel on Riley that pointed to him wheeling and dealing. They tried a couple of times to pull him over or pick him up, but each time they had nothing to go on, and the worst we could charge him with was speeding.” He rubs at the stubble on his chin. “We lost track of him the night of Rebecca’s murder and haven’t been able to pinpoint him since.”

Twenty-Three

The Detective finally leaves when Red arrives with food. Red hands me a large, surprisingly heavy picnic basket. “Celeste insisted that you would prefer this to something from a restaurant, which is why I’m so late, but I can go get you something else. I don’t mind at all.”
 

Puzzled, I open the basket to find French bread, a large bag of potato chips, two containers of fresh fruit, and a container of her amazing chicken salad. I smile.
 

“I guess maybe I was wrong,” Red adds when he sees my smile.
 

“This,” I say, pointing to the basket, “is beyond comparison. No restaurant food could come close.”
 

Further exploration of the basket uncovers a thermos of coffee - no doubt the way I like it - and two cans of Mountain Dew. I shake my head at the latter: my one not-so-healthy vice in this world. There are also napkins, plates, and utensils.
 

“She’s thorough,” I mutter as I close up the basket.

“That she is. You really should eat something,” Red says, eying the basket as I put it on the floor.
 

I nod absently and take my seat back on the bed at Vivienne’s feet. “I will.”

“Yes, sir. I don’t mean to meddle.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head at him. As annoying as it can be sometimes, his so-called meddling is what gets me places, allows me to do things, and makes sure that everything runs smoothly. “I enjoy your meddling, Red. It’s alright.”

“Has there been any change?” he asks, looking at Vivienne.
 

Shaking my head, I say, “No, but Amanda - one of her nurses - was here again about twenty minutes ago. Said that Dr. Alston will be up shortly. I’ll try and eat after she leaves.”

“Fair enough.” Red smiles, but I can tell he is watching me carefully. Looking for something, or making sure I’m really as okay as I say I am. “Do you need anything else?”

I quickly run through a list of possibilities. “Besides her better, I’m not sure.”

“Understandable, though I cannot help with that. As much as I would like to.”

“I know. I’m alright for now.”

“Very well. I’m only a phone call away. I’ll come back in the morning.”
 

I look at my watch and realize that it is after eight. “Alright, we’ll see you in the morning then.” I nod at him.

He nods back, takes a look a Vivienne, then turns and silently slips from the room.
 

I stay sitting on the bed with my hand gently rubbing along her leg and watch the monitor. The longer I keep my hand on her leg, the less crazy the monitor gets. Which is probably a good thing because I don’t need anyone telling me that I can’t touch her. The thought sends a shiver through my body, and suddenly my back has come alive once again.

This time, it’s different. My emotions are heightened by a desire that I haven’t felt in a long time. I try in vain to shake it off, but I can’t. My heart aches with a need to be near her, to hold her, to touch her, to—
 

Oh, no, you don’t.
 

I stand and make a beeline for the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind me. I grip the sides of the sink hard, hoping that the pain in my hands will drive away the unexpected, unwelcome erection.
 

“Damn it,” I curse under my breath, gritting my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut. But my back vibrates with excitement as I grow harder and the need grows stronger. If this desire doesn’t die down soon on its own, I’m going to have to make it go away.
 

When I finally open my eyes and look into the mirror in front of me, they are electric blue, intense with arousal.
 

I feel the back of my shirt push outwards, away from my body. I reach for the hem and pull it up over my head.
 

Placing my hands back on the counter, I lean forward, eyes closed, trying to think about anything nonsexual. But everything I think of turns sexual in some form or another. Planes, cars and trains? Excellent places to have.... I drop that thought quickly, as it’s only egging me on. The stock market? Up and.... Nope. Work? Nope. Vivienne? Hell, no.
 

Little by little, I can feel my body calming. Without Seraphina around, I don’t know how else to do this. I quickly shift the image in my head to that of Rebecca Black and the video I watched this morning, but before it gets too involved, that sense of fullness associated with Seraphina comes over me and I hear her voice, singing the same gentle melody as before.
 

Thank stars. It took you long enough.

“Now, now, young angel. I was giving you a chance to rectify the situation yourself, which you had obviously started to do so well. Not the images I would have chosen to use to calm myself, but it worked nonetheless. Now to settle those wings of yours.”

My head flies up and my eyes open. After I removed my shirt, I became more interested in calming my erection than the possibility that my wings were coming out. I lean forward slightly so that I can see over my shoulders, and I can instantly see what she’s talking about. Coming from my back are the white tips of feathered wings. My eyes widen in shock as I watch them slowly retreat. Once my back becomes flat again, I feel a light clicking within my body. A lockdown on my back.
 

Thank you again.
 

“In due time you will learn to manage this yourself. I’m rather impressed that you were able to stop the full spread from happening. Though I would imagine the time is coming where we need to work on letting them out and locking them down, provided you want to stay where you are.”
 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You will need to learn to control your emotions, not allow your inner angel to get the best of you. If you don’t, you will expose yourself to the world and to the demonic ones who surround you. One thing to remember is that instances of heightened emotion – whether it is happiness, sadness, or carnal desire – will cause your body to react differently.” I watch in the mirror as my eyes flash to black and back to their normal greenish-blue again.
 

“Relax, young angel. They cannot harm you unless you expose yourself to them.”

Knowing that certain highly emotional situations could bring about this kind of reaction will help me better understand what can trigger an unexpected response. Knowing this will help me be more conscious of my reactions.

The thrum in my back flares and settles just as fast.
 

“Your doctor friend is coming,” Seraphina adds, and she quickly retreats.
 

I take a big, long breath and reach for my shirt.

Twenty-Four

I step out of the bathroom to find Dr. Alston and Amanda looking over Vivienne.
 

“Hi,” I say and try to smile as Dr. Alston looks up.
 

“Hey, Mikah. We’re just checking her vitals and making some notes. Amanda tells me that Vivienne is responding to your touch?”

I blush. “My voice too, I think.”
 

Amanda lets out a snort. My head turns in her direction and then follows her line of sight to the monitor.
 

“I’ll say.” Amanda retorts. “That is by far the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. What makes it even stranger is that you hardly know this girl and vice versa, and she has this completely subconscious reaction to your presence. But it also means that things are not as damaged up there as we first thought.”
 

“What does that mean?” I ask.
 

“It means that we could probably bring her out of the coma right now and yield a pretty positive result.” Dr. Alston says very matter of fact.

“So why don’t you?”
 

She smiles back at me. “Well, two reasons. One, the coma is keeping her in one place and allowing her shoulder, lung, ribs and wrist to heal better. And two, I think we should wait at least another twelve hours, run a CT and make sure that we’re not jumping the gun on the swelling.”

“Alright,” I say. I heard what she said, but I’m not sure it is registering properly. I want Vivienne to wake up sooner rather than later, but it really needs to be on her terms. But I also feel a little relieved that, with any luck, she will be awake sometime tomorrow. “What else can I do for her?”
 

“Well, nothing really. Sit here and talk to her. Or go home and get some rest.” Seeing me scowl at that second option, Dr. Alston adds, “Or eat something, take a walk, or find something to read or talk to her about. Regardless, if she is having that kind of subconscious reaction to your presence, I wouldn’t recommend leaving. It’s obvious that it is helping her.”

“I feel so helpless though.”
 

“That makes two of us. All we can do right now is wait. It sucks, I know, but all her vitals are good, and the baby is doing great, all things considered. Some more time to heal is all she needs right now, and that is something we can all give her.”

I nod in agreement, though I’m not sure this conversation has made me feel any better.

After a couple more minutes, they finish up. Dr. Alston and Amanda are leaving the hospital for the night, but the nighttime nurses have specific instructions to call immediately if anything changes. I’d honestly be surprised if Dr. Alston is really leaving the hospital instead of taking up residence in her office.

Once I make up my cot, I look dubiously at the basket Red brought in and decide that I can’t really eat anything right now. The idea of having a meal, here in Vivienne’s room without her, is unsettling.
 

I sit back down in the chair next to her bed. Resting my head next to hers, I start to play with a strand of her hair. I start thinking about the last time we were here. And how we got here.
 

I don’t know what came over me that day, but something kept nagging at me to get her to a hospital, have her checked out, make sure she was okay. I try not to smile at the memory. She is like a kitten that thinks she's a tiger, and it is one of the many things that attracted me to her.
 

I never expected her to kick me out that day. Again, my need to protect her overcame any other rational emotion, and I pushed too hard.
 

The minutes that followed killed me. I paced around the emergency room, hoping that maybe she would ask me to come back. Then I saw Alston and a couple other nurses running toward her room. When I got back to the door, a nurse stopped me from going in. I paced. I hadn’t a clue what was going on.
 

Eventually Dr. Alston emerged and explained what happened and what they were going to do at that point. I felt better knowing she was doing better, but guilt quickly set in because I realized that I was the cause of that. I don’t know what set her off – whether it was a trigger or me leaving.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” I say as I lift my head and gently kiss her forehead. “I miss your baby-blue eyes. Come back to me. Please.”

Twenty-Five

I stay by her side for another minute or so, kiss her forehead once more, then grab my phone from the bedside table and go sit on the cot.
 

Turning my phone back on – I’d turned it off when I came into Viv’s room – I silence the ringer and check my email. There are several emails from Jack, ranging in subject from video footage to other, non-Riley related information. There’s one from my assistant, letting me know she’s cleared my calendar for the next three weeks, and an email from Sydney – who is not only one of my business partners but also a very good friend – letting me know she’s got things covered in my absence.