Giving In: Surrender Trilogy (10 page)

She glanced up to see him staring at her, his gaze stroking over her skin like a tangible touch. She loved the way he looked at her. She loved the way it made her feel. Safe. Protected. Like he cared about what happened to her.

Those looks were addicting. She soaked up every single one of them with unabashed greed.

His look changed to one of displeasure, and apprehension gripped Kylie’s chest. She hated conflict of any kind. It was her nature to avoid it at all costs and if she couldn’t avoid it, then soothe, soothe, soothe.

“Is something wrong?” she asked anxiously. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Jensen reached for her hand, shocking her, because he’d always maintained a semblance of casualness between them at work. He gently squeezed and pulled her closer until she stood right by his chair, her back to his desk. He pushed back his chair so he was looking squarely at her.

“I have to go out of town Monday. I fly back in Wednesday night so I’ll be in the office early Thursday.”

She nodded, wondering why that had set him off. It certainly wasn’t unusual for him and Dash both to be out of town.

“It’s the S&G contract,” he continued. “The CFO was very impressed and wants to move forward with our proposal. He wants me to attend a meeting with the CEO and the board of directors in Dallas. The contract is ours. We’re just going through the motions of getting approval up the chain. And of course they want to meet me—us.”

It was then that he grimaced and ran a hand through his hair.

“This is your contract, Kylie. It’s you who should be going. Not me. At the very least, you should be attending with me. But with Dash gone, we can’t leave the office unattended for three days.”

“Of course not,” Kylie said, shocked that he’d even considered it. “My job is to run the office, Jensen.”

“But you deserve this,” he said, his lips still turned down into a frown. “Most of the suggestions were yours, even if they were in agreement with mine. You handled yourself very well in the meeting with the CFO. I have absolute faith you’d have their entire corporation eating out of your hand if you gave the presentation.”

She shook her head, pleased beyond measure with his praise, but at the same time, panic-stricken over the idea of presenting their proposal alone. Without Jensen there to back her up. She might like the idea of breaking out of her shell and taking on the world one day, but it wouldn’t be today. Or tomorrow for that matter.

Baby steps, she reminded herself.

“So you’ll be gone Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday,” she said lightly. “I believe I can hold the fort down while you’re gone.”

“Oh, I know that much,” Jensen said, his tone serious. “But damn it, I wanted you with me.”

Kylie’s eyes widened as finally the reason for his irritation became clear. He hadn’t wanted to leave her behind and yet they had no choice. They didn’t employ a full staff, though Kylie had been after them to hire one or two more office assistants. For that matter, both men needed personal assistants. Employees who would travel with them, work side by side with them and take care of personal as well as professional matters.

Kylie’s job was to manage the office. Ensure that everything ran smoothly, that things got done on time and accounts receivable were kept up to date. But she acted as a personal assistant to both men instead of just an office manager, and they definitely kept her on her toes. There was enough work for two more employees but neither man seemed to have any interest in taking on anyone else. They claimed to like the job Kylie did for them and seemed content with the services she provided.

She made a mental note to ask for a raise if one wasn’t automatically given in her annual performance review, which was coming up in just a few weeks. She deserved it. The old Kylie would have never rocked the boat. Continued to take the same pay and not complain when she took on more of a workload. Anything to keep peace and to keep away from conflict.

The new Kylie? Knew she was worth more than what her paycheck reflected. Not that either man ever took her for granted. She felt appreciated. Both men went out of their way to tell her she was doing a good job and that they couldn’t manage without her.

The new Kylie was going to be crisp and efficient and ballsy. She was going to ask for a raise. And not a small one.

She had goals just like everyone else did. She wanted a new house, one not in the same neighborhood as Dash, Joss, Tate and Chessy. Jensen lived just a mile away in another upscale gated community. It was time for her to break free. To not be so dependent on the people around her and for them to constantly have to baby her.

Kylie felt like a fraud living where she did. Carson had insisted that she live near him. Where he could look in on her, protect her. Just like he’d always done. And she’d failed him when he’d needed her most. It should have been her. Not him. He had Joss. Someone who loved him and whom he had adored beyond reason. Kylie had no one. Just Carson, and by extension Joss.

It should have been her.

It had nothing to do with a death wish. Not since she’d been a little girl and had that awful moment when she’d considered that she’d be alone, protected, away from the violence and turmoil of her everyday life if only she gave in and took the easy way out, had she given any serious consideration to giving up and ending her life.

“What the hell is going through your mind?” Jensen muttered.

She glanced guiltily in his direction, knowing she wasn’t giving him the attention he deserved as her employer. Heat scorched her cheeks. Shame. That she’d even dwelled on those awful moments in the past.

“Nothing worth repeating,” she said honestly.

Jensen shook his head. “One of these days, you’re going to trust me enough to share those dark thoughts you seem to have on a regular basis. You may think you hide them from the world, and maybe you do, but not from me. I see past the practiced façade, Kylie. And I don’t want that to alarm you. I want you to trust in the fact that I will never hurt you. I’ll never do anything to cause you pain.”

She swallowed and nodded, not knowing what else to do. How could she explain that some things just weren’t meant to be shared? Even if he thought he knew about her past, there was no way for him to know it all. Because no one did. Not even Carson.

“Everything will be fine,” she said calmly. “You’ll go seal the deal with S&G and I’ll keep things running here at the office. Dash will be back in a week. He and I used to run the office ourselves, so I’m certainly capable of running things alone while you’re away.”

“That’s not the point,” he said patiently. “You deserve this, Kylie. It should be you going. Not me.”

She paled, shaking her head in instant denial. “I appreciate the opportunity. I appreciate your confidence in me, Jensen. But you did enough. You let me help with the proposal. That’s enough. I wouldn’t feel comfortable presenting to the higher-ups. That’s your specialty. Not mine. No way I want the responsibility of us losing a contract like this because I’m not experienced enough to pull it off.”

His eyes warmed with understanding and gave her that peculiar shiver she experienced every time he looked at her like that.

“We’ll get you there, baby. Maybe not right now, but in time definitely. I plan to have a long talk with Dash when he returns about your position in this company.”

Her eyes widened. A protest was already forming on her lips but Jensen shushed her with a look.

“You aren’t changing my mind on this.”

Her lips curved into a rueful smile. “All I was going to ask for was a raise—a big one—at my next performance review. I’m afraid that would have used up all my assertiveness for at least a year.”

Jensen chuckled. “You’ll get your raise, and if I have any say, a promotion will come with it. Which means we’ll be in the market for another office manager, because if you’re going to be working more closely with me and Dash, you won’t have time to juggle everything else.”

She frowned at that. She was territorial when it came to the office. It was her domain. She ran it. Organized it. Knew the ins and outs even better than Dash and Jensen. It was she who kept things going smoothly. She liked that she was indispensable. That she had worth.

“You’re better than being an office manager, Kylie. You have a degree. You certainly have the intelligence. All you need is the confidence. Once you gain that, you’ll be an unstoppable force. I guarantee it.”

She flushed again, a warm glow enveloping her. He seemed utterly confident in her abilities, and if he was that confident, shouldn’t she be as well?

“Thank you,” she said softly.

He gave her a smile and she shifted, knowing she’d spent too long in his office when she had other work to be doing.

She turned to go and Jensen’s call stopped her.

“Have a good time with Chessy tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow. Your place. Six thirty.”

It was a reminder of their date. And the way he dropped the casual reminder told her that he likely thought she’d cry off or come up with some excuse.

But she did neither. She turned, making sure her turmoil wasn’t evident in her expression. She answered him as calmly as she could.

“See you at six thirty then.”

“
SO
what’s new with you?” Chessy asked as they were seated in their favorite booth at the Lux Café.

For as many times as they ate here and requested the same booth, it ought to have their names engraved on it. The waitstaff was certainly on a first-name basis with all three women and didn’t even ask where they wanted to be seated. They just escorted them to their booth in the corner as soon as they walked through the door.

Kylie took her seat, wondering if Chessy could see her every thought. Because typically Kylie never had anything “new” to share. She always just listened to whatever was going on with Joss and Chessy and responded to whatever they wanted to talk about.

Now that Chessy had forced the focus on her, Kylie was at a loss as to what to do. They were girlfriends, which meant that they were supposed to share intimate details. Secrets. Gossip. Things they wouldn’t share with anyone else. Only Kylie had never really held up her end of the deal.

“Not much,” Kylie said lightly. “Same ole same ole. Work is keeping me busy.”

Chessy studied her, her green eyes gleaming with mischief. “There’s something different about you. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but my first guess would be a man.”

Kylie flushed to the roots of her hair. Good God. Save her from all-knowing and interfering friends. Without Joss, the peacemaker, as a buffer, Chessy would latch onto Kylie’s ass and wouldn’t be able to be pried loose with a crowbar.

“Oh my God, I’m right, aren’t I?” Chessy crowed.

She leaned forward, her eyes alight with mischief and curiosity.

“Spill,” Chessy demanded. “And don’t leave a word out.”

Kylie sighed but at the same time, warmth invaded her veins. This was what having girlfriends was about. She’d never really felt she’d taken advantage of her close friendship with Joss and Chessy because she’d never had anything to share. But now?

The question was whether she wanted to confide in Chessy when she herself had no clue what the hell was going on between her and Jensen.

“I don’t know,” Kylie said honestly.

Concern entered her friend’s eyes. “What’s going on, hon?”

“It’s Jensen,” Kylie blurted.

Chessy’s eyes widened. “Jensen Tucker? As in works-with-Dash Jensen?”

Kylie nodded. “One and the same.”

“Oh my,” Chessy murmured. “Talk about biting off more than you can chew! That guy intimidates me.”

“Join the crowd,” Kylie said ruefully. “I have no idea what the hell he wants from me. But he’s different with me. I mean different than he is with everyone else.”

Chessy grinned. “Well a woman—the right woman—can do that to a man. But explain this
different
. What do you mean?”

Kylie sighed again, knowing Chessy wouldn’t rest until she dragged every detail out of her.

“We’re going on a date. Tomorrow night. He was specific in saying this was a date. No business talk. Nothing to do with the office. A real date. Oh my God, just saying that makes me freak out.”

“Do you
want
to go out with him or did he pressure you into something you don’t want?”

Chessy frowned fiercely, clearly going into protective mode. Kylie smiled.

“I agreed. I may need my head examined, but yes, I do want to go out, although we’re not exactly going anywhere. He’s cooking dinner for me at my place. And then we’re going to watch movies. Not exactly an exciting date, huh.”

“It sounds perfect to me,” Chessy said wistfully. “I’m tired of eating out all the time. It seems like Tate is always entertaining a client and he likes for me to be with him when possible. A nice evening at home, alone, him cooking dinner for me and afterward spending the evening on the couch? Heaven.”

Kylie frowned and leaned forward. She’d been worried about her friend for months. She and Joss both had been worried about Chessy and her marriage to Tate. Chessy was perpetually cheerful. She could warm even the hardest heart. Good as gold. Naturally sunny and generous. But lately? The light had been extinguished in her eyes. She seemed . . . unhappy. And that bothered Kylie a lot.

Kylie had even worried that Tate was somehow abusing her, though Joss had been adamant that it wasn’t even a possibility. But then Joss hadn’t seen the darker side of men like Kylie had. She knew that behind a perfectly polished exterior sometimes lay a monster.

“Is everything okay between you and Tate?” Kylie asked bluntly, finally putting to question what she and Joss had both privately wondered over the last few months.

Chessy looked startled, but it was the hesitation that sold Kylie on the idea that she wasn’t far off the mark. Chessy didn’t immediately deny it, nor did she act horrified over the idea. In fact, she didn’t say anything at all. Just sat there with those sad eyes.

“Everything is fine,” Chessy finally said lightly, though her lips weren’t smiling. “I guess I’m just feeling lonely. I see so little of Tate and— I guess that isn’t true. I do see him, but never in private. We’re always entertaining clients or in a public setting. What we haven’t had is time together, if you know what I mean.”