GLBTQ (25 page)

If you're having a hard time reconciling your culture, religion, disability, and so on with being GLBTQ, you could be feeling alone, confused, or rejected. Figuring out where you fit in your culture as a queer person and how you can integrate your culture into your life can be a long process. It can help to remember that there are GLBTQ members of every race, religion, ethnicity, and cultural group. No matter who you are, you're not alone.

It might help to talk with other GLBTQ people with similar backgrounds, heritages, or experiences. If you're struggling with issues such as those related to race, ethnicity, and religion, talk to someone about it. Depending on where you live, support groups might be available. If not, the Internet can be a great place to touch base with people who understand what you're going through.

Been There:

“Since I was little I would always lay awake at night and wonder how much better my life would be if I had been born a girl. Then I would think, ‘Oh great, the one thing I really want, I can't have.'”
—Alexandra, 14

In many ways, transgender (or trans) teens have a greater struggle for acceptance and understanding than other queer teens. Comparatively little is understood about being transgender, so trans teens can feel even more isolation and loneliness than their gay, lesbian, and bisexual peers. However, this is changing.

According to the Human Rights Campaign, knowledge of what the term
transgender
means, as well as familiarity with transgender public policy issues, is growing dramatically across the United States. This represents an important stride toward a tolerant society. More work definitely must be done to educate the public about the experiences of being a trans person, but acceptance
is
growing.

While more research about transgender teens has been done in recent years, it isn't known how many young people identify as trans. The lack of information about being trans has partly resulted from society's reluctance to acknowledge that being trans is a biological fact (not an emotional choice), and that being transgender is not an isolated experience. As with being gay, lesbian, or bisexual, some trans teens are told that they are just confused or are too young to be sure. Other teens are told that gender is a choice.

Unfortunately, many people still are ignorant of the feelings and experiences of trans people. Even in the medical community, it can be difficult for those who are transgender to find mental health professionals and physicians who are capable of providing educated, compassionate care.

But not everyone is in the dark about being trans. Counseling support and accurate information about being transgender
are
out there. If you're transgender or think you might be, it's important to reach out and seek help. Not because something is wrong with you, but because addressing trans issues is much easier if you have support and access to resources.

When you're transgender, you have a gender identity or expression that is different from your biological sex or physical anatomy. A few definitions might be helpful here.
Gender identity
is your internal sense of being male or female—basically what gender you consider yourself to be. Your
gender expression
is how you express your gender identity and includes the clothes you wear, your hairstyle, and your body language (how you walk, your posture, your gestures). In society, people often take their cues from someone's gender expression to assume that person's anatomical sex.

Transgender is a broad term that covers many different groups. It can include transsexuals (in all stages of transitioning), crossdressers, drag kings and queens, and people who are intersex, among many others (see the following Q&A for definitions of these terms). People who are trans might identify in a variety of ways. (For more about self-describing and its relevance, see “
Describing Your Gender Identity
.”)

What it feels like to be trans is different for every person, although many describe some common experiences, such as feeling “trapped in the wrong body.” Others describe it more as having an internal sense of self that isn't reflected on the outside by their bodies. It can be confusing to feel female inside and look at yourself in the mirror and see an anatomical male looking back at you. Still others report that the experience of being a trans person can be incredibly liberating, freeing them from stereotypes and how gender is defined, expressed, and felt.

Been There:

“From a very early age I knew I was different. I always preferred dressing up as a princess rather than a police officer or fireman. This carried on through my childhood and into my teenage years, when I became increasingly frustrated about not being able to be the girl I wanted to be. When I came out to my parents, I explained that I never felt right as a male, and that I always wanted to be a girl.”
—Alycia, 19

You might have a lot of questions about what it means to be transgender. If you do, you're not alone. While the GLBTQ community as a whole is working for greater visibility and more rights, gay, lesbian, and bisexual people still tend to receive more recognition and acceptance than those who are trans. As a result, it's still common for people to be uninformed about transgender issues. This sometimes is true even within the queer community.

Here are some common questions and answers about being transgender:

Q: Why are people transgender?

A:
According to PFLAG, many in the scientific community believe that being transgender is the result of complicated biological factors that are determined by the time someone is born. This means that you don't become transgender or choose to be transgender—you're born a trans person.

Q: Is being transgender a mental disorder?

A:
The mental health community labels one aspect of the transgender experience as
gender dysphoria
—a term for the pain, anxiety, and confusion that can result when a person's gender identity and biological sex don't match. The pressure to conform to accepted gender roles/expression and a general lack of acceptance from society also can contribute to gender dysphoria.

Mental health professionals often diagnose transgender people with
gender identity disorder (GID).
Transgender activist and health researcher Jessica Xavier explains that some trans people struggle with the advantages and disadvantages of being diagnosed with GID. A diagnosis of GID enables access to mental and physical treatment, which can be especially helpful for people trying to physically transition their genders. The downside of a GID diagnosis can be the stigma of being diagnosed with a mental disorder, which might encourage people to treat trans people like they're sick or mentally ill.

It's important to note that although the GID classification is labeled as a disorder, it doesn't mean that trans people are mentally ill. Treatment for GID generally (though not always) involves physical modifications to help bring one's body into harmony with one's emotional and mental self—not vice versa.

Q: Do all trans people want to have surgery to change their anatomies?

A:
No. Many people do, but others do not. According to the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, roughly 1,600–2,000 people undergo gender reassignment surgery in the United States each year.

In an effort to deal with their gender dysphoria, many trans people do go through a period of
gender transition
. During this time, they begin to change their appearance, and often their body, to match their gender identity. This might mean that they start wearing different clothing and changing their hairstyles to reflect the gender they feel they are on the inside. People may also change how they walk or move and adjust the sound of their voices. Some undergo minor cosmetic procedures such as electrolysis (permanent body hair removal) as well.

Gender transition doesn't necessarily mean surgery. It is a misconception that all trans people want to change their anatomies through
sex reassignment surgery (SRS).
Sex reassignment surgery modifies primary sex characteristics (the genitals) and is sometimes accompanied by surgeries on secondary sex characteristics as well (such as breasts or the Adam's apple). People who don't identify with the sex they were born as, and who might change their bodies through hormones and surgery to reconcile their gender identity and physical sex, are referred to as
transsexual
. All transsexual people are considered transgender, but not all transgender people are transsexual.

Nonoperative transsexuals might not be interested in or able to have surgery (which can be very expensive). They may or may not take hormones as part of the transition process. Some trans people take hormones and go no further in physically transitioning. Others are preoperative transsexuals—they might be in the process of transition and plan to have sex reassignment surgery. Other trans people are postoperative transsexuals, which means they have had the hormone therapies and surgeries needed to complete a physical transition. Surgery is usually restricted to those over the age of 18, although this matter is the topic of much debate.