Read Goddesses Don't Get Sick Online
Authors: Victoria Bauld
SIXTEEN.
TWO MONTHS LATER,
Tuyen stood on the bridge waiting for Angela. Resting against the railing with his eyes closed, he turned his face to the sun, enjoying its warmth. The sound of footsteps pulled him out of his thoughts, and he opened his eyes to see Angela running towards him, a wide grin on her face.
His face broke into a matching smile as Angela reached the bridge and flung herself into his arms happily. Laughing, he lifted her up and hugged her tightly, before placing her back on the ground and stepping back to look at her properly.
“Good news?” He asked the smiling figure. Angela nodded, trying to catch her breath as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a letter. She handed it to Tuyen and waited impatiently for him to read it. His brow furrowed slightly as he scanned the words before the grin returned and he looked up at her.
“You got the internship,” he said. Angela grinned and nodded, before her smile faltered slightly.
“Well, they want to meet me first, so I probably shouldn’t make assumptions…but part of the meeting
is
to go over their contract.”
“This is fantastic, Goddess! I told you you’d do it!” Tuyen exclaimed.
“I can’t believe I got accepted,” she began to babble excitedly. “This is everything I wanted, Tuyen. Everything I hoped to get when I graduate. I actually
have
a career waiting for me now. I…I did it!” tears glistened in her eyes as she looked up at Tuyen happily.
Bursting once more into happy laughter, Tuyen embraced Angela tightly. “I told you so, Goddess,” he whispered into her ear. They stood like that for a long moment, but this time it was Angela who pulled back from the embrace. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she blushed before smiling nervously.
“I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight and celebrate with me? I made a reservation at this restaurant, and I’d love for you to come.”
“Celebrating with your friends tonight?” Tuyen asked. Angela’s blush deepened, and she dropped her eyes down to her hands.
“Actually, I was thinking just the two of us.”
The grin on Tuyen’s face faded slowly, until he stood before Angela uneasily. It was easy to tell from Angela’s demeanor that the restaurant she spoke of was not one that catered to the more platonic of relationships.
“Ange, I…I’d love to but…I just don’t know if I can…”
“Please?” Angela pleaded. “I don’t really have anyone else I want to celebrate this with and…I wanted to talk to you about something…”
Frowning now in curiosity, Tuyen opened his mouth to answer before he’d even found the words he wanted to use. He tried to focus on Angela, on her eyes, but—almost in a twisted reversal of fate—this only made it harder to speak.
Watching him as he stood there in silence, Angela drooped as she assumed his answer.
“Sorry,” she murmured softly. “Forget it, I’ll…find someone else or…something.”
Ducking her head, she pushed past him and began to head home.
For a moment, Tuyen could only stand where he was, watching Angela leave as his mind fought over various decisions. Casting his gaze upwards, Tuyen clenched his jaw and swallowed a groan before he followed.
“Ange! Wait!” Tuyen ran to catch up and caught Angela by the arm. “Don’t go like this,” he begged. “I’ll come to dinner–” He was cut off as Angela shook her head.
“I don’t want you to come if you don’t want to, Tuyen,” she interrupted.
“Will you let me finish?” He sighed and let go of her arm. Pacing in front of her, Tuyen grabbed his hair and tugged on it with a frustrated growl, before he stopped and turned back to face her.
“I’d love to come, Goddess,” he looked at her earnestly. “Really, I would. I just don’t know if I can because of work, but…” He sighed again, heavily, and shook his head. “Screw it. I’ll come.”
Angela watched him and chewed her lip as she studied his expression.
“Seriously?” she asked. Tuyen nodded and took her hands.
“I’d love to come,” he repeated softly, holding her hands close to his chest. Angela studied him quietly for a moment more, before she nodded hesitantly and began to smile again.
“T-Thank you,” she stammered. “The reservation’s for seven. It’s…kinda formal so…”
“I’ll dress accordingly,” Tuyen smiled gently. Kissing her hands, he released them and stepped aside for Angela, before handing her back her acceptance letter. Blushing, she took it from him and smiled nervously.
“Guess I’ll see you later, then?”
Tuyen nodded and bowed his head. “I’ll pick you up at six-thirty, Goddess.”
Waving hesitantly, Angela turned and began to walk home, resisting the urge to break into a nervous run. They both knew this was more than a friendly meeting; there was no point in even trying to his this fact. Despite this—or perhaps because of it—Angela wondered if she was making the right move.
Tuyen watched the woman he called Goddess leave, like he had many times before. Sighing, he turned his face back to the sky, but the clouds had moved in, and he could feel no heat from the sun any longer.
SEVENTEEN.
THE RESTAURANT WAS PACKED,
the hum of couples talking softly to each other blending into the background with the music that was playing. Tuyen admired the décor before turning back to Angela with a smile.
“This place seems popular,” he noted with a small grin. “How’d you get a table?”
“Um, luck?” Angela shrugged and played nervously her water glass. The truth was that she had made the booking months ago, quietly hoping that the right excuse to extend the invitation would arise. If luck had brought her anything, Angela supposed, it had brought her the right excuse. She caught Tuyen’s eye for a moment, before she let it drop again, struggling to find the right words.
“You look good in a suit,” she eventually commented, trying to control the blush that crept up her neck. Tuyen coughed nervously and smiled, beginning to blush a little himself.
“You look beautiful, Goddess. That dress looks fantastic on you.”
Glancing down at the outfit she wore—a simple, figure hugging black dress, Angela’s face broke into an embarrassed smile.
“Thanks,” she looked back up at him, and forgot what she was going to say as their eyes locked. They held the gaze for what felt like both an eternity and a second, before they were interrupted as the waiter came to take their order.
Caught off-guard, Angela fumbled for the menu and tried to focus on it, before she gave up and simply ordered the special. Tuyen smiled at her and ordered the same, both of them oblivious to the cynical expression the waiter fixed on them. After he left, they lapsed once more into an uncomfortable silence, Angela’s eyes focused on a spot on the tablecloth as she fidgeted with her napkin.
Tuyen watched her for a while, his brow furrowed in thought. Eventually he cleared his throat, catching Angela’s attention.
“You said you had something to talk to me about?” he prompted. Angela nodded and swallowed as she tried to clear her throat.
“I have to be honest with you; I-I really don’t know how to say this,” she stammered nervously.
Tuyen smiled gently and waited for her to collect herself, unconsciously chewing his bottom lip. After a few moments, Angela looked up at him and tried again.
“I…I like you, Tuyen. You’ve been a wonderful friend since I met you that night, and you’ve done so much for me, put up with so much…I honestly don’t know how to thank you.” Smiling nervously, Angela held his gaze for a moment before she dropped her head again and continued to speak.
“The thing is, I don’t want you to just be another guy in my life. I know we agreed to just stay friends. I know you have…concerns because of your job, but…I want more, Tuyen. I…I think I love you.”
Swallowing, Angela bit her lip and stole a glance at Tuyen, trying to read the closed expression on his face. When he didn’t answer, she started talking again in a rush, stumbling over her words.
“I’d understand if you weren’t interested in me at all, but I think you are. You wouldn’t have put up with so much from me if you weren’t even a little interested. I mean, if being my friend makes you so nervous about being caught or whatever, you must have a reason for continuing to hang around. But I don’t understand why you won’t let us be more than friends, just because of a job. If you feel the same for me, what’s stopping you from just quitting and getting another job?”
Angela took a steadying breath. “I graduate next month, Tuyen. And with this internship, I’ll be earning more than most graduates. I think that, if we kept to a budget, I’d be able to earn enough for both of us until you found something…” Trailing off, Angela watched Tuyen and waited for him to respond.
He’d barely moved throughout the entire speech, and sat now with his chin resting on his knuckles, eyes downcast and completely unreadable.
“Please say something?” Angela whispered softly, causing Tuyen to finally rouse himself from his thoughts with a sigh.
“I don’t know what you want me to say here, Angela,” he spoke softly, refusing to meet her eye. “I don’t think there’s anything I
can
say without hurting you.”
“Well…you could start by telling me whether or not you like the idea…” Angela swallowed and looked down at her hands. “Whether you even wanted to try or…or if I was just imagining things…”
“This has absolutely nothing to do with how I feel, Ange, you have to understand that.” Finally, Tuyen looked up at her and held her gaze for a moment with sad eyes.
“I’m sorry, Goddess,” he murmured. “I think…maybe it’s best if I just go.”
Stunned, Angela watched in disbelief as Tuyen got up from the table and walked out of the restaurant, his figure oddly diminished. She sat at the table in shock for a moment, mind blankly trying to make sense of the situation.
What did I just do?
Forget what you did
, a voice inside her cried angrily.
Why are you still here? You’re just going to let him walk out of your life again? Just lie down and take it?!
“Like hell,” Angela muttered to herself, rising from her chair and all but running out of the restaurant after Tuyen.
EIGHTEEN.
EXITING THE RESTAURANT,
Angela stood outside in the cold, scanning the streets for Tuyen. Recognizing a hunched figure in the distance, she let out a yell and began to chase after him as he disappeared around the corner.
“Hey!” She yelled breathlessly, voice cracking slightly in the chill air. “Stop running away from me, damn it!”
Rounding the corner, Angela saw Tuyen standing at the end of the street beneath a lamp, facing her. Everything about his stance and air was guarded, as if he wanted to wait for her, but also wanted to run. Slowing to a pained walk, Angela closed the distance between them, limping slightly in her heels.
“What the hell is your problem?!” She yelled, taking grim pleasure in seeing Tuyen wince slightly before she continued. “I lay my heart out on the table for you, and all you can do is walk away from me? What do you mean this has nothing to do with your feelings? I’m not asking for how your boss feels about this, or if you have a brother who might be interested, I’m asking
you
! I love you, Tuyen!” Angela’s voice broke then, and she choked back a sob. “Do I really mean that little to you?”
“No, Ange, don’t,” Tuyen pleaded as Angela began to cry. He stepped forward and tried to pull her into a hug, but she pushed him off, turning her back to him.
“Angela, please,” he stood awkwardly behind her before reaching hesitantly for her shoulder. “You know you mean a lot to me, but-”
“But what?” Angela slapped the hand away and rounded on Tuyen, the look in her eyes driving him back a step. “
What
, Tuyen? You only see me as a friend? You like me but you don’t want to be with me? If I mean so fucking much to you, then why are you being like this?”
Tuyen stood with his head down, unable to meet Angela’s eyes. Rubbing the back of his neck uneasily, he began to speak slowly, faltering.
“I do like you Angela. More than like. I…” he swallowed nervously before continuing. “I love you, Goddess…but…”
“But you can’t let me interfere with your work?” Angela shivered in the cold and hugged her arms, trying to stop the tears that continued to roll down her cheeks even as her heart wrenched at Tuyen’s admittance. “Is your work really that important to you? Couldn’t you try taking a break from it? Quitting it for a little while?”
“You want me to quit my job?” Tuyen repeated the words as if they were in another language, blank confusion written across his face.
“Why not? It’s like I told you in the restaurant, Tuyen; I could work for us, and we could maybe get a small place together, or something, and…” Angela trailed off as Tuyen began to shake his head unhappily.
“I can’t, Ange. I thought you knew that.” He barked a bitter laugh, still shaking his head. “You don’t think the thought never crossed my mind? I love you, Angela. But this isn’t about my feelings, as much as I would like them to be.”
“What else could it be about?” Angela grabbed Tuyen and forced him to look at her, nails digging into his forearms through the suit. “What hold does this damned job have on you that you can’t even kiss a girl without panicking?!”
“It’s not that simple, Angela.” Tuyen looked for a moment as if he was going to say something further, but seemed to change his mind. Angela’s grip tightened, and she tried weakly to shake him.
“Well explain it to me, then! Because clearly I’m missing something.”
Sighing, Tuyen gently disengaged Angela’s hold on his arms, before clasping her shoulders gently.
“You really want to know?” He asked softly, his eyes hidden behind a lock of his hair.
“Yes, Tuyen!” Angela fought back another sob, her upset adding a sarcastic edge to her voice. “I
really want to know
why the most amazing man I’ve ever met is turning me down because of his
job
.”
Tuyen’s hands caressed Angela’s arms for a brief moment, before he gently released her and stepped back, head bowed.
“I’m sorry I never told you this before,” he murmured, not looking at her.
“Told me what?” Angela tried to catch his eye, before reaching out to touch his shoulder. “Told me what, Tuyen?” She repeated softly, suddenly—inexplicably—nervous. Avoiding her touch, Tuyen bit his lip and closed his eyes.
“Wait here,” he said, stepping back until he was out of the circle of light that the streetlamp cast. Angela waited, alone in the light; curiosity and fear mingling in her gut as she tried to make out Tuyen’s form in the darkness.
She heard a faint rustling sound; a sound that reminded Angela of a score of things, but nothing she could place. The kind of noise one recalls from a misplaced childhood memory. After what seemed like forever, she heard his voice come out from the darkness.
“I’m so sorry,” Tuyen whispered again, stepping back into view.
A small noise escaped Angela’s throat as she stared at the creature in front of her, unable to comprehend, but at last understanding so much.
Tuyen stood before her, naked from the waist up and shadowed by a huge pair of ivory colored wings that towered over his body. Even folded, they peaked a good two feet above his head, the tips tightly folded across each other so they didn’t drag on the ground. A soft, golden tinge edged the feathers, each a perfect replica of the one Angela wore about her neck.
“Angel?” Angela managed to choke out. “You’re an
Angel
?!”
“I wanted to tell you, Angela. I’ve wanted to for so long,” Tuyen’s eyes glistened with tears as he looked at her entreatingly. “I’ve met so many people in my time, but none were like you. None before you have made me wish for something other than the life I had. None before you have made me even consider looking beyond the Duty I am bound to follow,” his voice cracked, a single tear escaping the well building in his eyes as he tried to smile.
“But then I met you, Angela. I met you, and I loved you from that first moment on the bridge. And…I feared you.” Tuyen laughed weakly and shook his head. “I don’t even know what they could do to me for standing before you like this, but I can’t stand lying to you anymore. All this time…I couldn’t stand not being able to tell you the truth.”
Taking a hesitant step forward, Tuyen moved closer to Angela, his wings flexing until they were wrapped protectively around them both, intimately close but no part of either’s body touching the other.
“Do you see now why my feelings have nothing to do with this?” He continued softly. “Even if I gave up my wings for you, I would never age. While you grew older, I would remain the same, as I have for countless years. No matter what decision I make now, I will have to watch you die, and I could not face a physical life on this world, alone, once that happened.”
More of his tears were falling now, the light casting a shadow over the Angel’s bowed head. Angela felt numb as she listened to his voice, trying to make sense from the words that echoed in her head.
(Angel?!)
“I’m so sorry, my Goddess,” Tuyen repeated quietly, as he reached forward and gently traced the side of Angela’s face. As if awakening from a spell, Angela stiffened at the touch, before pulling back and bumping into the wings that were wrapped around her.
“I don’t— I need to— I think I need some time to…” She stammered incoherently, her body beginning to tremble violently.
Tuyen watched her silently for a moment, before he pulled back his wings. Stepping away from the Angel, Angela looked at him as he stood; wings half-folded beneath a halo of light, glowing softly as if he were playing the spiritual hero from a children’s story.
Angela tried to think of something to say, but all words failed her. Still shaking slightly, she turned her back on the Angel and began to walk slowly home.
Tuyen watched her go, before he spread his wings to full span and, with a powerful downbeat, leaped into the air. He flew silently over the city, circling higher until he came to a deserted cliff edge, unreachable to any but himself. There he landed, seating himself on the edge and looking down at the electric lights of human technology flickering beneath him—the beacons of another world.
Wings wrapped around his body, he watched the world below and felt the ache of pain and sorrow that had encased his heart, chilling him like no wind or snow ever could.
With a low keen of despair, the Angel closed his eyes and began to weep.