Going Home (6 page)

How I wished my grandmother was alive so I could talk to her. I just couldn't help wondering why my getting older had to make things so complicated. When I was little, life was a lot simpler. But now my brothers were in charge of me. Mami watched me like I was the gold in Fort Knox and someone was gonna steal me! Plus I knew now that I wanted Vinny to be my boyfriend. Was this wrong?

Mami would never understand. But my abuelita would have, and she would have told me what to do. She would help me and together we could figure all this out. Why, oh, why did she have to die? Why couldn't it have been Tio Jorge instead of her? Right after I thought this, I felt guilty and I spoke out loud. “Forgive me, Abuelita, I really didn't mean it. I know how much you love Tio and I love him too, honest. It's only that right now I'm so confused and I miss you something fierce.” Tears came to my eyes because really I didn't want Tio to die. I know how much he loves all of us. All I wanted was for Abuelita to come back to me.

The only person I could talk to was Gigi. So I decided to feel her out, introduce the subject and see what she thought. Maybe she could tell me if what I felt was right, if I had a chance with Vinny or was way off base. No matter what, I knew I could trust her.

That next Saturday when Gigi and me sat in her room, listening to her cassette player, I brought up the subject of Vinny, trying to sound real casual.

“Gi, do you think Vinny likes Vivian?”

“What? Are you crazy? He doesn't even look her way.”

“Oh, I thought maybe you had observed something about him that I didn't.”

“What I observed about Vinny Davila ain't got nothing to do with Vivian.”

“You mean he might like someone else?” I asked.

“He sure does.”

I turned my eyes away from Gigi. “Who do you think she is?”

“Come on, Felita”—Gigi caught my eye and smiled —“don't be telling me you don't know.”

“I don't!” I kept on pretending I didn't know what she meant.

“You know he likes you. Admit it, Felita. And you like him too.” That's all I wanted to hear. I couldn't keep a straight face anymore.

“Oh, Gigi, you're right. I'm really crazy about him. I just hope he likes me the same way.”

“I think you will be Vinny's girl. And it's gonna happen soon.”

“Wow. I hope so. If he asks me to be his girl, he's getting a loud YES!” We hugged. I could tell Gigi was real happy for me. “There's only one big problem if that happens, though, and that's Mami. If she knew how I felt about Vinny, she'd kill me and stop the lessons for sure.”

“So just make sure she doesn't find out. Act real cool, and don't say a word to her.”

“I guess so. You know what really burns me up? My brothers can get away with murder and nobody says anything to them. For instance, Tito can come in the house and say that some girl has fine legs, or is really built, and my parents just laugh. Like it's all so funny, right? Me, I wouldn't dare say a word about Vinny. They say I'm wrong to feel I should be treated like my brothers. Gi, do you think I'm wrong to feel like that?”

“No, you're absolutely right, Felita. You should be equal to your brothers. You're even smarter than them. They can't draw like you, right? Why should boys get more privileges than girls just because they are boys? Doris told me that if I had a brother, we'd be treated the same.”

“You're so lucky, Gigi. I wish Mami could be like Doris. It's not that I don't love Mami, because I know she does care for me, but I never can talk to her. She doesn't believe I have problems. I mean it! She thinks I have this perfect life.”

“I know I'm lucky because Doris doesn't treat me like most P.R. mothers treat their daughters. She's more modern.”

“Even a lot of black girls have it easier too. Look at Elba Thomas. She can go out after school, and lately everybody knows she and Eddie Lopez are seeing each other. It's not some big deep secret. I think the Anglo girls got it the best. Remember when I was friendly with Lynne Coleby last year? Her parents are from here, but her grandparents are from someplace in Europe. Anyway, she can go out anytime, anytime at all, just so long as she tells her mother where she is. When I was hanging out with her, Mami didn't like it. Whenever Lynne came over to visit, Mami would start.

“ ‘Why doesn't she telephone first to find out if you are free to play outside?'—or—‘Don't her parents care how long she stays visiting you?'—and—‘I don't believe in them customs, I'm sorry.'

“Mami got on my case so bad, I had to stop seeing her. Mami only likes me to hang out with girls who are kept real strict. She loves me to be with Consuela. Although she does like you a lot, but that's because we've been tight for so many years.”

“Don't worry, Felita. When you grow up, you can go to art college and do what you want. Your parents won't be able to tell you what to do and your brothers won't boss you. Besides, soon you're going to P.R. to spend the whole summer with your Tio Jorge. No parents or brothers, right?”

“All right!” I felt much better already.

“When are you going over to Vinny's house?” asked Gigi.

“Monday. I hope you're right about what you said.” I was feeling so excited at the idea of being Vinny's girl that I could hardly sit still.

“Don't worry, Felita, I'm right. You'll see.”

 

The following Monday I was getting ready to go over to Vinny's house when Mami spoke to me. “Felita, Johnny will be taking you over to Vinny's house.”

“What?” I was furious. “Why, Mami? I don't need no baby-sitter. Vinny only lives down the block, like two minutes away!”

“Because you are too young to go alone to a stranger's house and—”

“Stranger?” I interrupted her. “What do you mean? Vinny's been coming here now for over a month! And we see each other every day in school.”

“Just you listen to me, chica.” When Mami folds her hands and stands in a certain way with her back arched, I just know she means serious business. “It is not proper for a girl soon to become a woman to be going to a boy's house unescorted. The Davila family are from another country and a Latino culture so they will see this as wrong. Do you understand me?”

“Vinny comes here without an escort.”

“That's right! He's un hombrecito, a young man. You are a young woman. No one will talk about him, but everyone will talk about you.” I looked at my mother and wanted to say who cares? But I knew better. If I got her too angry, she might stop the lessons.

“Will Johnny have to take me there again on Thursday?”

“Yes.”

“And the next time?”

“Sí senorita, very definitely.”

“For God's sake, Mami. This is so embarrassing! Just how long does Johnny have to keep taking me there?”

“For as long as you keep going and I say so.” I was so annoyed at Mami that I slammed down my books and sank into the armchair. “There is, of course, another solution.” Mami paused. “You don't go at all.”

“Thanks a lot!” I snapped.

“Don't you get sarcastic with me. Just consider yourself lucky that I'm even letting you go there.” I just nodded. Like what choice did I have?

As we went over to Vinny's building, Johnny rushed along so fast I could barely keep up with him.

“Hey, man, slow down! Where's the fire?”

“Look, Felita, I don't like doing this any more than you do. Taking you over to some people's house I don't even know is not my idea of a great afternoon.”

“So why don't you say no for once to Mami, and do us both a favor?”

“Sure, right away. You know I can't.”

“You can't or you won't?”

“I can't and you know it too. Now get off my back!” I sulked, practically running to keep up with him. But I had to admit that Johnny was right. If he said no to Mami, she'd tell my father. Then Johnny might be grounded for days or punished in some other way.

“You don't have to stick around during the lesson ... I hope, do you?” I asked nervously.

“No, thank God. But I gotta come back later on and pick you up.”

“Hey, look, I'm sorry, Johnny.” I really did feel sorry for him. He was nice to me most of the time and very rarely raised his voice. “Truce?” I smiled up at him.

“Sure,” he said, putting his arm around my shoulder. “I know it's not your fault either.” I felt better knowing we weren't still angry at each other.

After climbing four long flights, we finally caught our breath in front of a door with the name
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Davila.
Vinny welcomed us with a big smile. Speaking in Spanish, he introduced us to his mother and a bunch of little kids who were laughing and running around in the narrow foyer. “And this is Maritza, my sister, my brothers Julio and David, and the terror of our house, baby Iris.” They all had the same coloring and freckles as Vinny.

“Hello, everybody!” baby Iris said in English, surprising everyone. She was real cute and only around three years old.

“Iris is a big showoff.” Mrs. Davila laughed and led us into the living room. Their apartment was smaller than ours. There were different flower patterns everywhere: on the linoleum, on the curtains, even on the upholstery. The walls were filled with framed colorful embroideries and small rugs. Next to a large color T.V. there was a tiny altar set up with plastic flowers, religious pictures, and a lighted red candle.

Mrs. Davila handed my brother a big plastic bowl and spoke to him in Spanish. “This is for your mother. It's a dessert we call arequipe. It's the most famous dessert in my country. Tell her it's a milk and sugar pudding.”

After Johnny left, Vinny and I followed Mrs. Davila into the kitchen. “I've cleared a place on the table here where you two can work. Have a good and productive lesson.”

There were two little yellow-and-brown songbirds in a bright green cage. “Oh, how sweet,” I said. “My grandmother used to have a parakeet. His name was Pepito. After she died, he only lived for a short time. I think what happened was that Pepito missed her. Actually, this whole apartment reminds me of my abuelita's house.”

“My parents like to have things around that remind them of home, like all those rugs and embroideries.”

“Why did your family come here, Vinny?”

“Well ...” I could see that Vinny looked uncomfortable and I wished I hadn't asked him that question.

“Look, I'm sorry. You don't have to answer me.”

“That's all right, Felita. It's just that back home even though there are a lot of good things, it's also hard to live. Like to find work is hard. My father says back home there are too many people and not enough jobs. Most of my friends there never finish school. They have to quit and go to work. My parents wanted something better for us.”

“I'm sorry, Vinny.”

“It's all right, Felita. Sometimes I do think about home and I miss a lot of things there—the great weather, my friends, all my relatives. Felita, for you, it's different, you were born here. But for me, it's not the same.”

“I think I know what you mean because my grandmother missed her home too, even though she lived here for many, many years. She used to talk to me about Puerto Rico all the time.”

We worked on my Spanish for most of the lesson. But what made me feel really good was that even though Vinny hadn't said anything about being his girl yet, I knew we were becoming better friends. I figured sooner or later he would ask me. I only hoped it would be sooner.

 

Things started to look even better the following week when Vinny began to wait for me after school. We walked home with Consuela and Joanie. It was nice and warm out these days, and it stayed light longer. Yes, spring was definitely here.

Ever since Vinny and I started having lessons, my brothers seemed to be less on my back. Johnny was never a real bad problem, but Tito really surprised me. Although he wasn't my bosom pal, he had stopped being so nasty and hardly ever teased me. In fact he was actually nice. Like earlier this afternoon when I came home from school, Vinny and me were downstairs, standing by the stoop, and Tito came along. Usually he'd say something mean and send me upstairs, but this time he stopped, said hello, and even asked Vinny how things were going. I couldn't believe my eyes or my ears as I listened.

“How are you doing, man? How's the lessons going? You learning some English?”

“Yes, thank you, Tito. I think I'm doing good. Felita is the teacher and she says I'm passing my grade.”

“Excellent! Vinny, why don't you come on down to the playground sometimes, like after school or on the weekend, and play some ball? There's a bunch of guys there about your age. I'll introduce you around.”

“That's great! Thank you a lot, Tito.”

“No sweat. See you guys.”

And then he left without saying another word. Now I was waiting for Tito to get home so I could thank him. I heard him come in and waited a few minutes, then I went over to his room and knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Hi, Tito. Where's Johnny?”

“I don't know, still out, I guess. What's up?”

“Well, I just wanted to thank you for being so nice to Vinny.”

“Oh, sure,” said Tito. “Well, he's a nice kid and I figured he's shy on account of his problems with English, so I'd show him around. No sweat.”

“Vinny was real pleased. He's so nice, Tito.”

“You like him, don't you?” Tito smiled.