Going Home (33 page)

She caught her husband’s eye and saw the agreement in his face. ‘She undoubtedly would have done, he would have gone to an orphanage and she to the womens’ prison. When she saw Meg, who was brave and fearless, with her child, she knew that with her he would stand a chance of survival. Which he did,’ she smiled at Ralph, ‘For Meg fought like a tigress to keep him, vowing that he was hers and that my brother Joe was his father.’

‘So, what you are saying, Mrs Linton,’ Elizabeth said slowly, understanding at last, ‘is that our mother gave up her own life so that her child, Ralph, our brother, would survive?’

‘Yes,’ said Emily Linton quietly. ‘That is what I am saying, and I am also saying that you should be very proud to have had such a mother.’

Shortly afterwards Roger left them. He, and his Uncle Sam, who had had supper with them, were to have an early start the next morning to see the harvesters begin their work of bringing
in the corn. Ralph and Jack had pledged their support but were not expected quite as soon as the labourers.

‘Would you care for a walk, Amelia?’ Ralph asked. ‘A turn around the garden perhaps?’

As she agreed and gathered up her shawl, Jack rose to his feet. ‘That’s a good idea. Phoebe?’

‘Yes,’ she smiled. She had been subdued since her mother’s outburst. ‘That would be pleasant. Miss Fielding?’

‘Thank you, no.’ Elizabeth declined. ‘I have walked several times today. I think I will retire early and I must think now of returning home, Mrs Linton.’

‘You must come again soon,’ Emily Linton declared. ‘And bring Harriet with you. The house will be so quiet when all of these young people have gone, and especially,’ she added huskily, ‘if Roger goes with them.’

‘Don’t fret, Mama.’ Amelia came across to her and laid her hand on her shoulder. ‘There are still a few of your chicks left.’

‘But for how much longer?’ she replied softly as the four young people went out of the door.

The air was quite still and the moon lit up the garden as if it was daylight, highlighting the ash and oak trees and suffusing the grass with a glistening lustre. ‘We’re walking on diamonds,’ Amelia said softly. ‘See how the grass sparkles.’

‘Yes,’ Ralph murmured. He had not noticed the grass, only how the moonlight lit up the dark
sheen of Amelia’s hair so that he wanted to stroke it.

Phoebe and Jack walked in front of them, their heads, one so fair, the other dark, close together. Presently Jack’s arm stole around Phoebe’s waist. Ralph glanced at Amelia for her reaction and asked, ‘Do you think Jack is being too forward?’

She shook her head. ‘No. They are committed to each other. They want to show their love, that is understandable.’ She paused before adding, ‘They must continue to show it. They will have such hardships when they return home.’

‘More than you can possibly imagine,’ he answered and turning towards her, said abruptly, ‘I shall miss you, Amelia,’ and as she drew in her breath in bewilderment, added, ‘I shall miss your company, our disagreements.’ He smiled as she started to demur. ‘Oh yes, come! We have had a few. We have had some lively conversations. That is what I shall also miss when Jack is married to Phoebe,’ he told her. ‘We have spent so much time together since our childhood.’

‘Surely your friendship will continue?’ Amelia said. ‘He, they – will need it more than ever, I would have thought?’

‘And they will always have it, but they will have each other, they will not need a third party.’

As he spoke, Phoebe and Jack turned around. ‘I have just been hearing about your fight with Jack, Ralph,’ Phoebe called to him. ‘Jack said how upset you were when you heard the news!’

‘You fought with Jack?’ Amelia asked in astonishment. ‘Why ever did you do that?’

‘It was in the middle of York,’ Phoebe called to her. ‘They took off their jackets and fought like common louts!’

‘But I won.’ Jack laughed and kissed Phoebe’s cheek. ‘He is no match for me.’

‘It was a jest,’ Ralph muttered awkwardly. ‘I was fooling, that’s all.’

Phoebe didn’t hear or pretended not to hear his remark, and went on, ‘It is the very first time that anyone has ever fought over me.’ She seemed to have recovered her spirits and laughed as she spoke.

Amelia, on the other hand, seemed to freeze. Ralph felt her iciness as she whispered, ‘You fought with Jack over Phoebe? But I thought that you said, you said – they were right for each other?’

‘I did,’ he stammered. ‘They are.’

‘But you were still hurt? You do still care for her? That is the reason you fought?’ He saw her face become rigid and her speech was restrained.

‘No,’ he insisted. ‘It was a jape,’ and he turned towards Jack for him to confirm it. But Jack and Phoebe had disappeared. Somewhere in the garden they had found their own secret place and Ralph and Amelia were excluded from it.

‘Excuse me,’ Amelia said. ‘I am feeling chilly. I shall go inside.’

‘I’ll walk you back,’ he said, his thoughts confused.

‘No, really. I can manage. Thank you,’ and she hurried off at such a pace that he was left standing alone.

‘Damn!’ he muttered as he saw her gather up her skirts and run up the steps. ‘Damn! Damn! Damn!’

THE FOLLOWING MORNING
Ralph was up early. He dragged himself out of bed as dawn broke and sat in a chair by the window, staring out as the sky lightened and the sun came up in the direction of the sea.

At first sight the streaks of dawn were silver, shot with gold and rose, soft subtle shades, not a flood of incandescent brilliance such as he would see at home in Australia. Then, as if someone with a paintbrush had dipped deeper into a paint pot to bring out stronger tones, the sky changed to deeper colours, to splashes of apricot, aquamarine, ruby and bishop’s purple.

The chorus of songbirds began, breaking the silence, with the thrush taking the lead, its clear voice urging the other birds to join in welcoming the new day. Swallows flew around the house in swift disarray, then gathered together on treetops and barn roofs, preparing for departure.

‘Just like me,’ he murmured. ‘I feel as if I am in disarray. Like Mrs Boyle, I don’t want to go, but for quite different reasons.’

He washed and dressed and then stole along the corridor to Jack’s room and tapped on the door. He could hear the muted sounds of servants in the kitchen downstairs, the rattle of pans and of smothered conversation and laughter. There was also a faint aroma of baking drifting up the stairs, of pastry and bacon and ham.

Aunt Emily came along the corridor as he waited at Jack’s door and he exclaimed a surprised, ‘Good morning. I didn’t expect you to be up so early, Aunt Emily!’

She looked crisp and fresh and had a large white apron over her blue cotton gown. ‘It’s all hands to the pumps today, Ralph,’ she smiled. ‘The kitchen staff have been up for several hours making bread and pies to feed the workers. The itinerant labourers come to help with the harvest and the hind’s wife will be preparing food for them.’

‘The hind’s wife?’ he questioned.

‘The steward’s wife,’ she explained. ‘Normally she does most of the cooking, but she’s broken her arm and so Cook agreed to help her out.’

Jack opened his bedroom door. He was dressed and ready for breakfast and the three of them went down to the dining room to find the whole family there already, Amelia, May, Lily and the twins, who could barely keep still in
their excitement to help with the harvest and see the new sail reaper which had recently been purchased. Phoebe wasn’t there, but Amelia murmured that she had knocked on her door as she’d passed, for she had said that she too wanted to come to see the harvest gathered in.

Amelia seemed subdued and she had faint shadows beneath her eyes. She answered Ralph’s greeting but avoided his gaze and got up from the table to help her mother dish up the bacon, eggs and ham, which lay hot and sizzling in dishes on the dresser. She poured coffee and handed a cup each to Jack and to Ralph.

‘Thank you, Amelia,’ Ralph murmured and wondered how he could possibly gain a warm smile from her, such as Jack had received as she’d given him his coffee. She has an affection for him I do believe, he thought with a touch of resentment. Even though she knows that he is affianced to Phoebe. Perhaps that is why she is so spiritless this morning.

They moved off to the fields at eight o’clock, piling into a trap with the twins and Lily running on ahead. Lily had had a secret, knowing smile on her face since it was announced that Mr Mungo and Miss Boyle were to be married, whilst May had adopted a dreaming faraway expression each time she met up with either of them.

One of the fields was being cut by hand and Sam and six other scythe men were working
their way across the corn. The scythes made a gentle swish, swishing sound and as the corn fell, women and older children gathered it into sheaves ready for the bindsters to tie and stook.

In a further field, Roger was watching with his arms folded across his chest as the new sail reaper, pulled by two horses and driven by one man, was cutting the corn with its swirling blades, whilst behind him a bevy of gatherers were bent low over the swathes, for manual labour was still essential even with the new machinery.

‘Mama and Roger would like to bring in more machinery,’ Amelia said, shielding her eyes from the sun as she too watched. ‘But Uncle Sam is worried about the workers. He says there will be no work for them eventually. Perhaps,’ she said thoughtfully, ‘that is one of the reasons why Roger wants to go to Australia. He must feel very frustrated. He doesn’t like to go against Uncle Sam, yet he wants to see progress. He says we won’t survive if we don’t bring in modern methods.’

Phoebe was pensive as she stood alongside Amelia with a jug of lemonade in her hand, and it was as if she was barely listening. ‘I shall remember this time for ever,’ she said softly. ‘Jack and I would never have been allowed to be in each other’s company at home in the way we have been here. It would have been forbidden. We could only have ever met in secret. This will
be, I’m sure, one of the happiest years of my life.’

‘There will be many more,’ Amelia encouraged. ‘Once you are married and don’t have to hide your feelings for Jack.’

‘There will be hurdles to climb and objections, that I accept, and I know that I shall be abandoned by society and my friends. And I do worry,’ she admitted. ‘Jack and I must be strong to withstand the difficulties that our marriage will bring. But I so desperately want to help him. To bring about his dream of freeing his people from the servitude of the whites.

‘They are not ignorant, you know,’ she turned towards Amelia and there was an appeal in her eyes, ‘the Aborigines. They have their own languages, their own culture and history. Their only ignorance is that they do not realize that they are slowly being removed from the country which belongs to them.’

‘Removed?’ Amelia murmured. She was looking over towards where Ralph and Jack were raking the loose stubble, clearing the ground, so that the sheaves could be set up in stooks to dry.

‘Yes,’ Phoebe answered. ‘By disease, bullet and despair.’

‘You have learned all this from Jack?’ Amelia asked.

‘Not only from Jack,’ Phoebe replied. ‘But from observation too. I remember when I was very young how my father, and other men like
him, treated the Aborigines. With either callousness and hatred or as if they didn’t exist, and it disturbed me even then.’

‘You are so brave.’ Amelia poured lemonade for a young Irish worker. She was as dark as a gypsy and had a baby strapped to her back. ‘Ralph was right when he said that you and Jack were made for each other.’

‘Ralph said that?’ Phoebe took off her large straw hat and fanned herself. She smiled. ‘I do tease him so.’

‘He still cares for you. He hides his feelings very well.’ Amelia watched her friend’s face for her reaction. ‘It will be hard for him to accept your marriage.’

Phoebe laughed. ‘Nonsense! Yes, he cares for me, as I care for him.’ She looked Amelia in the eyes and said earnestly, ‘But he does not love me.’

‘Then why – ?’ Amelia faltered. ‘Why did he fight with Jack over you?’

‘I was teasing, Amelia! They did not fight! Ralph pretended that he was devastated over my choosing Jack instead of him and challenged him to wrestle. They are like brothers, those two,’ she added softly. ‘I could not come between them.’

Amelia thought of the previous evening when she had rushed away from Ralph. Her feelings had been hurt and she had spent a restless night. Yet I don’t know why, she pondered. He has given no intimation that his feelings might
lie in my direction. And I, I have given him no reason to suppose that I might care for him. Quite the opposite in fact. I have been impatient and short-tempered with him. And yet, she mused, he started to say that he would miss me.

Her emotions were churning. He is not the man I would choose, she argued. He is outspoken and sometimes flippant, though I confess he is also spirited and enthusiastic. And bold when he is roused, she deliberated, as he was when he confronted Edward Scott.

As that fateful evening in York came into mind, she thought of how she and Ralph had hidden in the Fieldings’ tiny kitchen. They were squashed together behind the door with Ralph trying to hear what was being said out in the hall. She had opened her mouth to whisper something but he had gently laid his finger on her lips to silence her, and gazed down at her with eyes which now seemed such an alluring blue. His hand dropped softly onto her shoulder and remained there until they heard Moira’s cry.

She found that Phoebe was smiling at her, her eyebrows raised questioningly, and she gave a start.

‘You were miles away, Amelia, not with me at all!’

‘I beg your pardon,’ she stammered. ‘It is the heat, I think. It is making me feel quite dizzy.’

At noon the workers took a break; some retired to the shelter of the hedges and others
leaned against the wagons whilst they ate their midday dinner. Ginny and Mrs Linton and some of the maids had brought meat pies, cheese pasties and bread rolls, whilst the hind’s wife and her helpers brought apple pie, cold tea and jugs of freshly pumped cold water.