Going Home (34 page)

Ralph and Jack were lying in a corner of the half-garnered field. Ralph was turning a deeper shade of brown and he compared the colour of his arm with Jack’s. ‘You’ll never get so dark.’ Jack chewed on a length of straw. ‘Your skin’s too fair.’ He suddenly sat up as in the distance he saw Amelia and Phoebe moving between the groups of workers with their jugs and baskets of food.

‘Am I doing right, Ralph?’ His voice was urgent. ‘Am I being selfish to expect Phoebe to face the pain and opposition which will undoubtedly come if we should marry?’

Ralph too sat up and looked over in the direction of the two young women. ‘She’s strong and determined,’ he said positively. ‘There is no-one else I know who could take on such a challenge.’

‘I don’t mind the insults for myself,’ Jack insisted. ‘Nor the stone-throwing or being spat at. I am used to it. But I couldn’t bear it if that happens to Phoebe. I would have to fight back.’

‘And you know that if you do, you’ll be thrown into jail. You will have to learn even more forbearance, my friend. To turn the other cheek.’

Jack nodded. ‘She wants to set up a school,’
he continued. ‘For the children and for their parents, if they will come. Not a school such as the missionaries have where they are taught English history and religion. Phoebe wants to teach them to read and write and for me to teach them about their own culture. Before it is lost,’ he added. ‘She thought of it after Amelia told her about the Irish children at the school in York.’

‘It is an admirable idea.’ Ralph was watching Amelia. She was coming closer, working her way towards them. She was smiling now, and had lost her morning languor and looked quite happy. ‘Though it will be hard,’ he admitted, almost absent-mindedly, as other thoughts came into his head. ‘The authorities will be against it. They’ll do everything in their power to stop you.

‘Jack!’ He spoke in a low urgent voice and had half risen to his knees as Amelia approached. ‘What would you think if I said that I wasn’t going home?’

Jack gave a thin whistle, but didn’t have time to make a reply before Amelia joined them. He accepted the cup of water which she offered, gulping it down before giving a quick glance at Ralph and then excusing himself to Amelia, saying he wanted to speak to Phoebe.

‘No, nothing to eat, thank you.’ Ralph waved away Amelia’s offer of bread and cheese or meat pie. ‘I’m not hungry. Only thirsty.’ He too took a long draught of water, then said, ‘Why don’t you
sit down for a few minutes, Amelia? Here.’ He raked up a pile of straw into a cushion. ‘Come and sit here.’

She hesitated and looked around and he gave a half-grin. ‘Oh! Have I breached some etiquette? I can’t seem to get things right!’

She laughed and put down her basket and sat down. ‘No,’ she said. ‘Not really, though the farm workers will start to gossip about Miss Linton and the young man from abroad.’

‘Will they?’ He sat down beside her. ‘And what do you think they will say?’

She blushed slightly and looked embarrassed. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Do you mind what they say?’ He gazed earnestly at her but she didn’t meet his eyes.

‘I – yes! I suppose I do. I would not like my behaviour to be the subject of idle tittle-tattle.’

‘You could not then – ’ he hesitated, then dared. ‘You could not do as Phoebe is about to – enter into a controversial marriage and be the subject of abuse and hatred? Have silence fall in a room as you entered?’

She lifted her eyes then and answered slowly. ‘I would have to be very sure that my love was constant and sincere.’ She blushed again as she spoke so frankly, ‘And not merely physical attraction. Phoebe and Jack are very brave to go into such a marriage. They obviously have no doubts.’

He gazed silently at her and although he
could see beyond her shoulder that the workers had gone again to their tasks, he did not attempt to move. ‘I told you yesterday, Amelia, that I would miss you when I went home. Then you ran away from me,’ he added softly. ‘Before I could ask if you would miss me!’

She opened her mouth to speak, but then thought better of it and swallowed hard. She seemed tense and he put his hand over hers and held it there. ‘Can you not say?’ he asked quietly. ‘Am I being too bold?’

Oh God. I’m doing this all wrong! He felt an overwhelming panic. This is not what young Englishwomen expect! They like to be wooed, to be showered with gifts and flowers and compliments, and I have done none of these things!

‘It is not that you are too bold.’ She raised her eyes to his but then looked away. ‘Honesty and sincerity are things which I have always admired in others. It is just that I did not expect – that is to say – I had not considered that my opinion was so important to you.’

He felt a tightness in his chest as if emotion was swelling it to bursting point. She said once before that I was arrogant! A cold sweat came over him. Does she mean that I only consider my own opinion to be important? Is this what she means?

She gave a shy smile. ‘But to answer your question directly as I know you would prefer it. Yes. I will miss you.’

He let out a great whoosh of air, not realizing that he had been holding his breath. ‘As much as you will miss Jack?’

She put her head on one side. ‘Jack?’ she quizzed.

He said huskily, ‘You have become fond of him, I think?’

‘I have become fond of him,’ she said mischievously and her eyes sparkled. ‘As you are fond of Phoebe! Fond enough to fight over her!’

‘Oh. That was a jest!’ He spoke quickly as if embarrassed. ‘Phoebe told of that incident deliberately, I’m sure of it.’

‘Did she?’ Amelia was astonished. ‘Why would she do that?’

He smiled and shook his head. ‘I can’t imagine. Women are a mystery to me. They are wily and artful and full of tricks and games to get their own way.’

‘I’m not,’ she said swiftly. ‘I’m not at all like that.’

‘No.’ He gazed at her. ‘I don’t believe you are,’ he agreed. ‘So if you were asked a question you would give a straight and honest answer?’

She considered. ‘Yes. Unless I thought a truthful answer would cause unnecessary pain.’

‘It would cause me a great deal of pain, if your answer to my next question was no.’ He took hold of both her hands and lifted them to his lips, so that she would have no doubt of what the question would be.

‘That is unfair,’ she breathed. ‘That leaves me with only one other answer.’

He leaned forward and as she didn’t turn away, he gently kissed her cheek. ‘It is the only one I want, Amelia. I love you. Will you give me permission to speak to your father?’

AMELIA’S FATHER WAS
at present away from home and the marriage of Phoebe and Jack had been arranged for the following week, so Ralph impatiently waited until after the wedding in order to speak to Captain Linton.

The ceremony was a quiet affair, conducted early one morning with Ralph and Amelia acting as witnesses and Captain Linton escorting the bride to meet her groom. Afterwards the whole family celebrated with a sumptuous breakfast, though Mrs Boyle ate little, spoke little and had dark shadows beneath her eyes. Mrs Edwards, Deborah and Sam came to stay at Elmswell Manor and gave up their gatehouse to the newly-weds so that they might have some quiet time alone.

‘How very considerate everyone has been,’ Phoebe said as she and Jack walked one evening in the garden. ‘I shall never ever forget their kindness. It will sustain me whenever we have difficulties with others.’

‘Don’t think of the difficulties now.’ He put his arm around her. ‘We must live only for the moment and not wait in anticipation of what might or might not come.’

She sighed and put her head against him. ‘I am prepared,’ she murmured. ‘And with your love I will overcome whatever is in front of us.’ Then she drew away and took a deep breath. ‘But there is just one thing I am not yet prepared for, and I must ask you to tell me so that I can strengthen myself in anticipation.’

He gave a puzzled frown. ‘You must not worry about anything, not my family or the other Aborigines. I will protect you with my life.’

Tears flooded her eyes and she spoke in a choked voice. ‘That I believe. I know in my heart that you truly love me.’

‘So what then?’ He stopped and turned her towards him. ‘What is it that makes you cry?’

She lowered her head but he put his hand under her chin, lifting it. ‘Look at me, wife. We must never be afraid to ask anything of each other.’

Her tears flowed down her cheeks and he gently kissed them away. ‘Tell me,’ he whispered.

‘I need to know, so that I am prepared. When someone points a scornful finger or whispers behind their hands.’ She gave a small sob. ‘I should wish to be the first to know.’

‘What? Tell me!’

‘When, or if, will you take another wife? An Aborigine woman to give you children of your own race?’

He stared at her for a moment, then muttered something in a language she didn’t understand. He shook his head, then took her face between his hands and kissed her on the mouth.

‘Did you marry me and make vows in your church, thinking that I would take another wife to beget children?’

‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘I did. I wanted you, even knowing that.’

‘Then I know that you truly love me as I love you. How could I take another woman, white or black?’ His dark eyes glistened and his full mouth was soft as he spoke. ‘When I have lain with my body next to yours? With your flesh close to mine so that we are as one? How could you think such a thing?’

‘It is said that is what happens,’ she began tearfully.

‘Not with me.’ He stroked her face. ‘You will be a wife like no other. I will show you such memorable sights and take you to places that no other white woman has ever seen. We shall sleep beneath a canopy of stars and call the earth our home, and we shall raise our children to be proud.’

‘Sir.’ Ralph declined the offer of a seat as Captain Linton invited him into the library. ‘I wish to ask for the hand of Amelia in marriage.’
He had rehearsed for days and his speech came out stiff, bald and unemotional.

Captain Linton gave a small smile. ‘I have been expecting something of the sort.’

‘You have, sir?’ Ralph was astonished. However could he have guessed?

‘Sit down, do.’ Amelia’s father again waved him to a chair. ‘I have been young too, remember. I know all the symptoms.’

Ralph sat down in relief. Well, now it was out. He liked Amelia’s father. Why had he been so nervous?

‘Do you love Amelia?’

‘Oh yes, sir. I do.’

‘And does she love you?’

Ralph hesitated. ‘I think she has a fondness for me, sir, she wouldn’t have agreed to my coming to see you otherwise.’

Philip Linton smiled. ‘Indeed she wouldn’t. Of that you can be certain.’

‘But,’ Ralph felt he had to be honest, ‘I do believe that she regards me as unconventional and outspoken and lacking in refinement.’

Captain Linton demurred. ‘Surely not. Amelia is outspoken herself. She would not regard it as a fault in others.’

‘Nevertheless sir, that is the impression that I receive. So what I would like to do, sir, with your permission, is to pay court to your daughter as an Englishman would. To call on her and show her that I can be well mannered and cultured – that I am not a Philistine. I do attend concerts
and listen to chamber music in Sydney,’ he added disarmingly, and Philip Linton put his hand across his mouth to hide a smile. ‘And I’ll bring her flowers and take her out driving, if that is permissible, for that is what young ladies expect!’

‘Well,’ his host replied. ‘If that is what you feel Amelia would like, then certainly you have my permission to call upon her. But I assure you that not all Englishmen are gentlemen. Some may call themselves such and I can think of several who do, but it would be palpably untrue.’

‘Yes, sir.’ Ralph thought of Edward Scott who had the veneer of a gentleman, but who plainly was not. He felt a sudden sinking of despondency. I would hate to be like him.

He threw himself wholeheartedly into the art of wooing, even to the extent of moving out of the Lintons’ house and taking a room at the Sun Inn in the market town of Hedon, just a few miles distant. He bought a sturdy mare and a small trap and arrived on the doorstep of Elmswell Manor each afternoon with flowers, chocolates or gifts of lace or sweet-smelling sachets for Amelia’s pillow.

‘There is no need,’ she demurred one day when he brought her a posy to pin on her dress, and he responded with a polite bow and the words, ‘Oh, but there is.’ And with a gentle smile she accepted it.

He would first of all enquire about her health and then that of her mother, father, sisters and
brothers, then as she convinced him that they were all in excellent spirits, he would comment on the weather, if it was fine and likely to stay that way or whether rain was imminent.

As they set off on their drive, usually with May as chaperone who would do her best to pretend she was not eavesdropping on their conversation, he would comment on Amelia’s gown and how the colour suited her, and she would give a whimsical smile.

They drove through the lanes of Holderness and saw the leaves on the trees changing colour as autumn caught hold. The stooks glowed a pale gold and the earth where it had been turned was a deep rich brown. Amelia pointed out which land and farms belonged to the estate, which farms grew root crops for the local markets, which meadows were best for sheep and which field grew the best oats, or commented on which farm had the best hedge-layer and who was the champion ploughman.

‘You are a true farmer’s daughter, Amelia,’ he complimented.

‘I have known it all of my life,’ she said. ‘If I had been born a boy I would have been a farmer.’

‘Could you face leaving this place if you had to?’ he asked quietly. ‘As Roger is going to.’

She hesitated. ‘I’m not sure.’ It was a question she had asked herself time and again since Ralph had said he loved her. Would he expect her to go with him to Australia? And could she
do that and leave her parents without both eldest son and daughter? ‘I always wanted to travel. When I was young I was always asking my parents if we could come and visit you and Peggy, Aunt Meg and Uncle Joe.’