Going Nowhere (21 page)

“Surprise.” I said softly again, still smiling.

He smiled back and pulled me back into a tight hug before grabbing my hand and dragging me onstage.
Before I knew it, I was in front of hundreds, possibly thousands of people. I turned towards them and froze like a deer in the headlights.

Holy shit.

I gave Jase a quick look and saw that he was introducing me to the crowd.

Holy hell
.

I gave a quick wave and started to inch my way back to the sidelines, but Jase wasn’t having it. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to him.

“How would you guys like to hear her sing?” He asked and the crowd cheered, the sound so loud my eyes widened in disbelief.

He could not do this to me. I heard someone laughing hysterically and I leaned around Jase to see Blake and Trent laughing so hard they were holding each other up. Declan was there too, but he was smiling at us. When he saw me looking he winked and gave me a thumbs up. I don’t know what it was about the boys in my life, but they made me violent. I wanted to bite his stupid thumb off. I was not a singer. I loved music, yes, and I wasn’t awful at singing, but I was totally ok with keeping the singing confined to my car or shower.

He leaned towards me and whispered into my ears, “Come on, baby, you can do this.”

I leaned back so he could see my glare, but then thought what the hell? This was a once in a lifetime chance and I was never going to see these people again if I sucked. So what if I was putting myself out there in front my thousands of people.

No. Big.
Deal.

Ha!
I shrugged at him, but my eyes vowed retribution. He brought his mouth back towards my ear and when his lips brushed it, I jumped a little. I heard him chuckle at my reaction, “Me too, baby.” I rolled my eyes, not sure what he was referring to. Probably the fact that I was about to burst into flames just being this close to him.

“Do you remember
Stubborn Love
by the Lumineers?” He asked.

I nodded; I only had that song on repeat for days upon days up until he left. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and introduced the next song. I turned towards him and tried to block out all the people watching me as he began the song. My eyes never left his as we sang and for a second I was able to ignore everyone else and pretend we were back in the car, just the two of us, flying down the highway
, windows down and the music blaring. I smiled at the memories I saw reflected in his eyes.

When the song ended, I couldn’t help it, I mouth
ed ‘I love you’ and saw his eyes widen and then flare with emotion. I knew I should have waited to say something in a more private setting, but the moment felt so perfect and right I had to tell him. His hand grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me into a sweet kiss, I could feel his desire to say more, to talk about what I just confessed, but apparently he had more restraint than me and pulled back, whispering “later” in my ear.

I nodded and made my way across the stage towards the boys, giving the crowds who were hooting at the show I just put on for them, a wave. Blake and Trent pulled me into their usual sandwich hug, patting my head like a puppy.

“You were so awesome, Mars!” Trent grinned.

“Yeah and that kiss was hotter than hell.” Blake said, wiggling his eyebrows. I elbowed them both until they released me and went over to stand next to Declan who threw an arm around my shoulders, hugging me to his side.

“Good job, kiddo.” He said softly, watching his best friend with a smile.

“Thanks.” I whispered quietly, watching Jason p
erform.

Seeing how happy he was I couldn’t help but feel good about myself, that I helped put that smile on his face. I stayed like that for the rest of his set, which wasn’t long since he was an opening act, but I still felt so much pride in him with how he connected with the audience. He had them eating out of
the palm of his hand and his confidence and energy on stage was infectious.

I couldn’t see him doing anything else in this world.

That stage was his home and although I was a little jealous that he knew that most basic answer to a question that everyone asks themselves, I couldn’t begrudge him for figuring it out. Jase wrapped up pretty quickly, obviously in a hurry to get off stage and I couldn’t help the cocky smirk that took residence on my mouth. If he kept this up I was going to be swaggering around the festival, arrogant as shit, but I guess that was what I loved about him most.

He was so open with me, never once hiding his desire for me, never once denying himself the truth of his feelings. It was inspiring and something I needed to work on. I remembered his mother’s response when Jason asked her why she wasn’t embarrassed about how she acted and I envied that. I hoped one day I could say the same, be that secure in someone’s love for me that I could care less what anyone thought because the only person whose opinion mattered loved me unconditionally.

That’s what I felt for Jason and one day I hoped I would allow myself the same feeling, I shook my head, getting rid of these thoughts. Not today, Marisol, today was about Jason. I smiled big when I saw him heading my way. The guys waved goodbye as they went to go get ready to get on stage. Then Jason had me in his arms in seconds and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“You’re not leaving my side toda
y.” He breathed, causing goose bumps to race across my skin. I was fine with that, wrapping my arms around his waste. We stayed like that for a couple of the guys songs, but I wanted to go see the other bands so with are hands practically fused to one another’s as we explored the rest of the festival.

We spent the day roaming from stage to stage, checking out new bands and seeing bands I loved. It was an amazing experience and one I was so happy to share Jason. We told each other everything that happened while we were separated, which wasn’t a lot since we spoke almost every day.

He told me how the festival tour circuit was going amazing and how great it was to be back onstage and I told him about how my writing was really helping and how I finally caved and let Emily read it. When we weren’t talking we were kissing
, and after an entire day of foreplay, I was ready to explode.

It was going to happen tonight
.

I was ready to give up my virginity knowing that I was giving it someone who would cherish it. I think Jason could tell what I planned because there was
urgency in his kisses that I hadn’t felt before.

We were on our way back the hotel room now to meet the guys. The plan was to shower and change and then all of us would go grab a bite to eat and then maybe go to a club. I personally would have preferred to skip all of that and get horizontal with my Bartender, but I could tell that they were all excited I was here and wanted to go have fun so I caved.

Stupid sweet boys were cock blocking, but I forgave them. I snorted out a laugh and glanced at Jason sitting next to me in the cab, if he only knew what I was thinking. I giggled again, drawing his attention to me. He smiled the minute our eyes connected and leaned over to give me a quick kiss.

“I missed these lips, baby.” He said, sighing into my mouth.

Man you have no idea, I silently agreed. I nuzzled the side of his face before pulling back and settling back into my seat. We still hadn’t spoken about what I had said to him on stage and although I was confident before, little slivers of doubt were starting to break through.

Why hadn’t he said it back or even acknowledged it? I was staring
out my window sightlessly, which is why when we pulled into the hotel parking lot, Trent smacking the window scared the shit out of me. I let out a loud shriek and was practically in Jason’s lap while Trent clung to the side of the taxi crying with laughter. I crawled off Jason and flung the door open, smacking Trent in the knee causing him to yelp in pain. Weren’t they adults?

“Good, I hope it hurts like hell, you dick!” I growled as I marched inside. When I got inside the door I turned around to wait for Jason since I didn’t know where I was going. Trent came inside with an exaggerated limp, making my eyes roll. “Why are you guys always picking on me?” I asked.

“You’re the little sister I always wanted to torture. Plus you’re small so you can’t really fight back.” He said, coming to a stop next to me, ruffling my hair. I slapped his hands away.

“You’re annoying.” I said under my breath. “Where’s Declan?”

“Grabbing your shit out of the trunk.” Trent said, walking towards the elevators.

Jason came in with Declan beside them and it looked like they were having a pretty heated discussion. My draws furrowed in confusion when I saw Declan waving his hand over at me. Jason shook his head and did the universal “shut up” move, hand like a blade, slicing in front of his throat. Hmm. What the hell was that about?

Jason saw me and I could see his cheeks turn red; I just crossed my arms over my chest and looked at Declan who sighed and made his way over to me, Jason following at a slower pace.

Ok, something was definitely going on.

When they both reached me I looked at them waiting for them to say something, but Declan just held out my bag and left the minute I took it from him.

Curiouser and curiouser.

I turned my “spill it” glare onto Jase who stood there looking as innocent as possible. He was a minute away from whistling and looking up at the ceiling.

“Wanna tell me what you two were just talking about all secretive like?” I asked.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stand on end. He grabbed my hand and began dragging me to the elevator.

“It’s really nothing
; can I wait to tell you tomorrow?” He asked, looking down at me. I was silent for a moment contemplating. Was he hiding something? He did say he would tell me though.

“You will tell me though
, right?” I asked suspiciously.

“Yes.” He said firmly.

“Ok, tell me tomorrow then.” I shrugged. I had to trust him to tell me. And if he didn’t, I would interrogate Declan.

Ok, so maybe I had to work a little harder on the trust thing.

Jase glanced at me out of the corner of his eye like he could tell what I was thinking and he probably could. The elevator opened and we walked down the hallway to his room.

“You want to take a shower first?” He asked, walking over to his suitcase and digging through it for fresh clothes. I put my bag down on the bed and grabbed my shower stuff and the outfit I picked out for a night out.

“Sure. I’ll be a minute.” I hurried into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

Things were getting awkward and I hated it. I rushed through my shower and stood in front of the mirror, wincing at the sight of my sunburn. So what did I do? I pressed my finger hard into it, yelping at the pain as my skin turned white and then bright red again. Jason knocked on the door and asked if I was ok.
Securing my towel, I opened the door and his face twisting comically when he saw my sunburn.

“Oh my God! Baby, you are toasted!”
He said, wincing in sympathetic pain.

“I look like a tomato! I can’t go out like this!” I wailed pitifully. Like any supportive boyfriend, Jason laughed. Asshole
. I glared.

“I’m sorry, it’s not funny. You look cute, just put some make up on it, tone it down a little.”

I huffed and grabbed the little bottles of lotion off the counter and began to lather myself so I wouldn’t have alligator skin. I turned around and he was still staring at me.

“What?” I snarled, complet
ely pissed.

Who was going to want to have sex with a goddamn Oompa Loompa with a third degree burn? I grabbed my brush and began yanking it through my hair in frustratio
n. I cannot believe my life. I wanted tonight to be perfect and this sucked. I wanted to be desirable. I even went and got some sexy underwear. I had it all planned out, and now I looked ridiculous. Jason sighed and took the brush out of my hand.

“Let me, before you pull all your hair out.” He said, running the brush gently through my hair, working out tangles as carefully as possible.

“I’m sorry.” I sighed.

“What’s going on? You’re all stressed out.” He asked, leaning down to kiss the top of my head. I sunk back into his arms, resting against him. He brought his arms around me, hugging my waist. I stared at him through the mirror for a moment, debating on whether or not to tell him. Fuck it.

“I wanted to have sex with you tonight. I had it all planned out, it was going to be perfect and now I look like a troll.” I whispered. I could tell he was trying not to laugh and turned me in his arms so I was facing him.

“First of all, you could never look like a troll. Second, you know there’s no pressure right? I can wait.”

“There is pressure. Not from you, from my vagina. It wants to jump your bones, Bartender. And I can’t do that when I look like I escaped from Hell!” I wailed.

“You’re such a romantic, baby.” He laughed. I slapped his arm.

“You know what I mean. I’m ready. I want my first to be you and I want it tonight. I don’t think I can go another day without sharing everything I can with you.” He smiled at me tenderly and dropped a sweet kiss on my lips. My body immediately heated up and I let out a little moan. Jason’s arm tightened around me and he brought his mouth down to my neck sucking gently. “Jason we have to get ready to go out.”

“Or we can stay in?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I let out a giggle and backed up a little. I was never a giggler before, but he made me act like a giddy idiot sometimes.

“Please, I would love that, but the guys totally puppy dog faced me into dinner. Besides, I want to go dancing with you. I think it would be…stimulating.” I said throatily.

Seducer I was not, but I think Jason appreciated
my attempt. Giving me a little smack on the ass, he whipped his shirt off and shucked out of his pants before I could blink. When his hands grabbed his boxers, he lifted a brow, daring me to continue watching. My mouth had gone dry at the sight of all that skin and muscle that I just stared like an idiot, feasting my eyes on his body.

He brought his boxers down slowly, revealing what was underneath and I
must have grunted a little at the sight of his dick because he laughed at me and made a little model pose. This was the first time I saw him completely naked. Little Jase was not little by any means and he was currently standing at attention. I knew I was ogling him but I couldn’t look away. I always thought this part of a man was ugly, but not Jason. Maybe it was because I loved him, I didn’t know, but seeing his desire for me, flushed and hard, was beautiful.

Shit, I was drooling. And he was big. I mean really big. I was a little worried at how this was going to work. I turned around, facing the mirror again, hiding my apprehension by starting to apply my make up, cinching my towel around me even tighter.

Holy mother of God, I thought I was ready.

No
. I was ready. I am ready.

But now I was kind of scared.

Jason came up behind me and I felt his arousal against my ass, causing me to go a little weak in the knees. I don’t know how I was going to make it through dinner, knowing
that
was waiting for me. Dear Jesus. He pulled me to him until every part of my back touched his entire front and I felt a shudder run through him at the contact. Leaning down he kissed my neck, then bit my earlobe, causing me to go full on porn star mode. I could feel how wet I was down there and it had nothing to do with the shower and everything to do with the aroused male behind me. I groaned again.

Whispering in my ear he said, “Don’t worry, baby, it
’ll work. I can’t wait to feel you grip my cock for the first time when I make you come.”

“Holy shit, Jason.” I gasped, breathing heavily. He kissed my neck one more time before chuckling and getting into the shower.

Holy hell.

“You’re such a cocky bastard.” I snarled, aggravated that he got me all hot then left like it was nothing.

“Definitely…cocky.” He said, enunciating the word “cocky.”

I had to get out of here. Just him saying the damn word was too much. Grabbing my
stuff I made my way out of the bathroom and sat in front of the mirrored closet. I paid careful attention to my makeup, slathering on enough concealer that my skin resembled a human-ish tone.

I wanted to look my best for him tonight. I put a little gel in my hair, deciding to let it dry naturally into its long dark waves. Pushing myself off the floor, slipp
ing on my lacy ruffled thong, I thought about when Emily and I went shopping for this little number the same time I went and bought the boner inducing panties, Emily’s words not mine.

The leggings were black leather and basically looked like they were painted on when I was finished squeezing into them.
I did a butt check to make sure there weren’t any panty lines and thankfully, despite the ruffles I was good. Then I shrugged on the silver silk tank top. It was almost completely backless, the sides only held together by two thick bands that crossed my shoulder blades and the middle of my back. The front wasn’t too low cut; it gave just the right amount of peep show. I wasn’t wearing a bra so anything lower would have been quite scandalous.

The shoes were a different story.

Black bootie stilettos with a zipper up the back and the underside of the boot was a bright yellow. Hot as hell. I loved them almost immediately. I would wear them maybe twice in my life, considering I was more of a Toms or flip flop kind of girl, but these were perfect for tonight.

Rubbing on some glittery lotion on my arms and chest, I leaned down and took a whiff, grinning. I smelled like strawberries.

Jason didn’t stand a chance, I thought, smirking at the bathroom door. Sucker. I walked over to the door and banged on it telling him to hurry up.

Almost immediately I heard the water shut off so I hopped on the bed and grabbed my phone, deciding to text Emily
and fill her in on my day. I heard the door opened but didn’t look up, trying to hide my smile when I heard his sharp intake of breath. Emily was going on and on about her new partner for her column who she still hasn’t met yet.

Apparently, he only talks to her through email and has a difference of opinion o
n where the column should go. Or as Emily puts it “the tight ass twat is trying to tell me how to run my goddamn column. Fucker doesn’t know shit, I’m going to hand him his candy ass, stupid dipshit.” She’s truly a sweet person. Honest.

Jason cleared his throat a couple times, I’m assuming to get my attention
. I finally looked up when it sounded like he was hacking up a lung.

“Was there something you need
ed, Jase? A cough drop, perhaps?” I asked innocently.