Going Nowhere (23 page)

“Marisol! I love you!” He cried out as he came, face going red and his mouth dropping open.

It was beautiful and I felt a possessive rush as I realized that I made that happen. When he finished coming, he collapsed on top of me, face nuzzling the side of mine.
God, the weight of his body on mine! Who knew that I would crave something like this? My hands ran down his back and ass as his hips continued to thrust slowly, as if his body didn’t want it to end.

Finally he pulled out of me and I whimpered at the loss of
the connection. He went into the bathroom for a minute to deal with the condom and came out with a warm cloth. He opened my legs wide and began to clean me with such reverence; I felt tears fill my eyes again.

I was such a crybaby these days.

Disappearing into the bathroom again I turned on my side and closed my eyes. So relaxed and yes, sore. But I cherished this soreness. The bed dipped as he settled next to me and pulled me into his chest so we were spooning. Kissing my shoulder, his arm came around cupped my breast possessively. Feeling more content than ever before, I dropped off into deep sleep.

He woke me up two more times that night to make love and it was perfect, but by the time morning rolled around I was stiff. Wincing a little I sat up in the bed and looked beside me. My heart dropped when I saw he wasn’t there, but then I noticed the note he left on his pillow.

Good morning Baby,

I have to leave and go to sound check. I didn’t wake you because you looked so beautiful sleeping. Last night was one of the best nights of my life. Text me when you wake up.

I love you,

Jase

I smiled at the note and grabbed my phone.

I’m awake! :D

He responded immediately and it made my heart swell with love at the thought that he was waiting for my text.

Good morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep?

Like I was in a coma.

Good. I’ll be done here around 11. There’s free breakfast downstairs, go get something to eat. You’re going to need your energy ;)

LOL! Copy that.

I love you, baby.

Love you too!

I couldn’t believe this was my life now, I thought, hugging my phone to my chest. Jumping out of bed, I saw that I had about two hours before I met him. I showered in record time and threw on some clothes, not caring if I matched. I wasn’t going to be wearing them long, I snickered to myself.

Running a brush through my hair, I grabbed the key he left on the dresser for me and made my way to the breakfast bar downstairs. I grabbed a banana and some granola
then made my way outside to the pool and took a seat at one of the umbrella tables. Maybe we could go for a swim together, I thought biting into the fruit. I don’t know how long I sat there thinking, but I sat up in my seat with a smile when I recognized the voice I loved so much.

Then I heard Declan yelling at him and my smile dropped away. Something was going on with those two. Maybe I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, I thought for a second, but decided that I was here first so
technically
it wasn’t eavesdropping.

Yes, this is how my brain works.

I sat back in my chair which was hidden behind a potted palm tree and listened to them argue.

“Fuck off, Declan! It’s not your fucking problem!” Jason snarled.

“I’m telling you right now, Jason. If you don’t tell her I will; and how do you think she’d like that?” Declan shot back. My eyebrows furrowed.

Were they talking about me?

“This is none of your fucking business.”

“It is my business. She’s my friend and so are you and you are going to fuck it up by hiding this. Haven’t you gotten it through your fucking skull yet, dickhead? What happened
the last time you kept something from her?” Declan yelled.

Ok, yeah, they were definitely talking about me.

I got up out of my chair and walked over to them. Declan spotted me first and his eyes widened in surprise. Jason, noticing Declan’s reaction, looked behind him to see what was freaking him out, and when he saw me his face whitened.

“Oh shit.” He whispered.
Yeah, you better be scared buddy. “Hey, Marisol!” He said, coming over to me to give me a hug and kiss. I let him, but kept my eyes on Declan who was still gaping at me. Jason, feeling my stiffness, pulled back. “What are you doing out here?”

Ignoring his question, I shifted my eyes from Declan to Jason. “What were you two talking about?”

“Nothing.” He said quickly.

I scoffed.

“Yeah, that seemed like nothing. You two never fight; now tell me what’s going on. I know you were talking about me.” I stared at Jason who met my eyes.

His were panicked.

Fuck, this was going to be bad.

“Just tell me, Jason, you’re freak
ing me out.” I whispered, bracing myself. He just shook his head and turned around to look at Declan. A look passed between them and Declan nodded, giving me a sad smile before disappearing inside.

“Baby-”
He began, but stopped when his voice broke. Clearing his throat he began again, looking me directly in my eyes. “I, ah, need to tell you something.”

“Stop pussy footing around, Jason, and tell me.” I was getting angry now. He nodded and taking a deep breath he began again.

“I got asked by the band’s manager if I would want to continue on tour with the band. They are working on getting a record deal with a larger label now, but have decided to continue going on tour through October. He wanted to know if I was willing to go with them.” He said quietly, his eyes searching for any reaction from me. I was too stunned to give him one. “I told him yes.” He continued.

Ok, that got a reaction. I blinked and took a step back.

“Baby-” He began, coming towards me. I held out a hand to ward him off, he stopped with a pained expression.

“Don’t call me that right now.” I murmured. Taking a deep breath I looked at him. “Were you ever planning on discussing this with me first?” I couldn’t believe he would make a decision like this without even talking to me about it. His silence answered plenty.

I nodded and began walking back to our room. I heard him call out behind me, but I kept walking. When he caught up next to me I continued, “What are we doing, Jason? Huh?” I asked angrily. I slapped the up arrow button, calling for the elevator.

“What do you mean?” He asked angry now too. The elevator dinged and opened. When they closed behind us and it began to move I turned towards him.

“I mean what the
fuck
are we doing? I can’t call this a relationship since you don’t seem to fucking think it is; so I’m not sure what we’re doing. I’m trying to decide if I even have the right to be pissed that you’d make a call like that without even talking to me about it! Not to mention that this is the third time!” I snarled, waving three fingers into his face, “The third fucking time you have neglected to tell me important information!”

The elevator dinged and I stomped towards his room, shoving the key in roughly and slamming the door open. I walked over to my bag and began shoving shit inside. He was right behind me and started pulling out the things I just put in there back out.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He snarled, grabbing my arm. I shrugged out of his hold and went into the restroom to grab my make up bag and toothbrush.

“What the hell do you care, Jason?” I asked.

“What the fuck do you mean, what do I care? I love you, Marisol!” He yelled.

“Fat lot of good that does when you don’t trust me, Jason! I swear to God! We just had this argument! Could you really not keep your word the first time something came up? I don’t know what you want me to do, Jason because red flags are popping up all around me!”
I yelled back.

“What do you want me to do? Not go on tour? Fine! I won’t go!” He roared, throwing his hands up in the air. I stopped moving and faced him. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t getting it.
I pushed him hard. He barely moved, the gigantic ass hole.

“Are you serious right now? I want you to go on tour. I want you to do whatever you need to do to make your dreams come true. I support you unconditionally, Jason! I won’t stand in t
he way of your dreams!” I cried.

His face went from pissed off to completely confused in seconds.

“Well then I don’t know what the problem is, Marisol.” He said. I shook my head in disbelief and walked away from him. “I can’t read your mind, Crazy, you’re going to have to spell it out for me.” He said softly. I shoved my hand threw my hair and began to pace in front of the bed.

“It’s not the fact that you are going on tour for longer. It’s the fact that you
hid this and wouldn’t discuss it with me.” I said, tired now. “We’re in this together, Jason. Decisions like that don’t only affect you, they affect me, you can’t just make them for the both of us and expect me to fall in line!” I zippered up my bag and threw it over my shoulder, heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” He asked, coming up right behind me.

“Home.” I said shortly.

“Running away a
gain, Mari? Things get hard and you run?” He taunted. I stopped and turned around to look at him in disbelief.

“Is that what you think I’m doing?” I asked quietly.

“Isn’t it what you always do?” He sneered. I shook my head sadly.

“I’m giving you what you want, Jason. You obviously aren’t in this as much as I am.”

“I knew this was going to happen. I knew you would run; you’ve been running from the start.” He said angrily. I was quiet a moment, letting my eyes caress his face. I still loved him though he was breaking my heart.

“I stopped running a long time ago, Jase. You were just too stupid to realize that you already caught
me.” I left before he could say anything and shut the door behind me.

I flinched when I heard him punch the door and then something crash
ed as he cursed. I gasped as I felt tears pouring out of my eyes. I began to walk to the elevator, but stopped abruptly when I saw my boys standing there, looking at me with sympathetic expressions. My bag dropped from my hands and I let out a strangled sound. They all moved quickly, Trent picking up my bag, Declan and Blake supporting me on both sides. Their support broke me and I began to cry in earnest. I heard a door open behind us and whimpered. I didn’t want to see or speak to him right now. Blake gave me a squeeze and a kiss on the head as he broke away from us to face his friend.

“Marisol!” I heard Jason yell. Blake hurried towards him to stop him and I heard the sound of flesh meeting flesh, as he struggled against Blake. “Marisol! Don’t you fucking leave me!”

Thankfully the elevator arrived and Declan and Trent ushered me in. I got myself under control by the time we made it to the lobby and I called the airline, switching my flight time to the earliest possible flight out of Providence. Before I could call Emily, Jason beeped in. I immediately sent him to voicemail.

“Can one of you give me a ride?” I asked quietly, not looking at them. I heard one of them sigh.

“He is going to kick your ass, Dec.” Trent said. I felt Declan’s arm tighten around me. Jason continued to blow up my phone; I sent him to voicemail every time.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s get you home.” Declan said. Trent handed me my bag and scooped me into a bear hug
before heading back upstairs. Declan and I were both quiet as we began the drive towards the airport. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and dialed Emily. She picked up on the first ring and the minute I heard her voice, I broke down.

“Oh my God! Mari, what’s wrong?!” She asked, beginning to cry too. She was a sympathy crier
, my Emily.

“I’m coming home now. My flight leaves in an hour. Can you come get me?”

“What did my idiot brother do?” She snarled and I was thankful for the support, but rubbed my head. My head was beginning to throb and crying was only making it worse.

“I can’t talk about it right now, ok?” My breath hitched, “I don’t want to cry on the plane.”

“Ok, honey, and don’t worry! Of course I’ll be there.”

“Would it be ok if I stayed there tonight? I don’t want to face my family.”

“Of course! I’ll set up a sleepover for Mikey.” She assured me.

“I’
m sorry!” I cried, thinking about Mikey. God, I was messing up everything.

“Shut up right now. You’re one of my best friends. I’ll see you soon, ok?”
She said firmly.

“Ok.” I hung up and saw that I had thirteen missed calls and ten texts from Jason. I al
so had two from Kayla. Awesome, he got in touch with her. Frustrated, I shut my phone off and threw it in my purse. I turned toward Declan who had been quiet this whole time. “Thanks for doing this, Dec. You’re going to be in big trouble with him.”

He just snorted, “You’re my friend too. He can get over it.” He was quiet for a moment. “You know he loves you, right?” I nodded, looking out the window. “Marisol.” He said, drawing my attention back to him. “He loves you in a way I’ve only seen a few times, one being his parents. You’re it for him
. You know that right?”

“Are you trying to make me feel guilty for leavin
g or something, Declan?” I asked. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“No. That’s not what I’m
doing. I’m just saying he loves you so much and it scares him. It scares him to care about someone so much, he’s afraid he’s going to lose you.”

I was bit my tongue.
I didn’t say that Jason already lost me, but I got what he was saying. Regardless, Jason should have known he could have talked to me and he shouldn’t keep throwing the fact that I was reticent about our relationship in my face. Shaking my head, I decided silence was the best option here. Declan was torn between us, but I knew that if push came to shove he would be behind Jase. I didn’t want to make this any harder for him. I flinched out of my thoughts when I heard his phone go off.

“It’s him.” He sighed. I just shrugged, h
e could answer if he wanted. “Hey man.” He answered. I tried to pretend I wasn’t listening, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I was straining to hear the voice on the other end, even though he just ripped me up inside. “No, she’s here with me.” He was quiet for a second and then let out an aggravated breath. “Well I wasn’t going to let her leave alone in that condition, she was a fucking wreck.” Silence. “I know you do. It’s not me you have to say all this to.” Quiet again. “She’s not ready to talk to you, man, I don’t know what else to say.” He slapped his hand on the steering wheel, startling me. “Look, we’re on the way to the airport now. I’ll make sure Em texts you when it lands. She’s right here.”