Good for Now (Book One of The Now Series) (4 page)

Chapter 7

Kevin

“I promise it will never happen again. I wasn't thinking. Please Julie, hear me out,” I say, looking deep in her hazel wet eyes.

“I can’t breathe, how could you do this?” Julie asks, tears streaked with black mascara rushing down her flushed cheeks, still looking beautiful as ever. Fuck she has such power over me.

Her face turning fire engine red. She’s besides herself; body shaking between uncontrollable jerks, scaring me, heaving like my words are strangling her.

I’m even afraid to be arms length from her. But I know I have to make this right. I have to think of the best fucking lie or else.

I should have been more careful. I can't imagine losing her, because I love her, despite her good-goody ways these past couple of years. A man needs sex and when the woman you lust the most isn’t in the mood, it’s hard not to be swayed.

“I’m sorry…I tried to…pull away that is, but she wouldn’t let me go. It was awful,” I say, hoping this will somehow comfort her knowing I didn’t enjoy being taken by another female. “I’m telling you the truth.”

Julie looks down at her hands like a rag doll, having no life. Until I see her chest going up and down again like a balloon being filled in and out of air ready to burst. I’m still under her command, fearing what’s going on in her mind. I may have no more chances. Fuck me.

Then she looks up at me, with an eerie stare, scaring the shit out of me, making me wish I could just fucken disappear like she knows more than I have admitted, and now she wants to jump and attack me. I know what she is capable of doing, seeing her hands form into fists ready to swing, all of this is making me feel very uncomfortable, like she has crossed over the I-am-now-fucken-insane line.

“I told myself I would never stay with a cheater and here...I am. How could you have done this?”

Julie is on a roll now and I feel sick with worry. I just want to walk over and start kissing her. I want to make this go away, but I know her. She will say don’t use sex as a weapon. How well she knows me. My dick is hard, wanting to fuck be that oasis of hers. Still I manage to think of sex at the worst possible moment.

“Can’t you see, this wasn’t my fault. I didn’t want this, but she wouldn’t stop. She wouldn’t stop, she kept at me. I had no choice but to give in. Don’t you see, she seduced me.” I almost said, “What did you want me to do?” Thankfully I didn’t, because she would have ran with it, saying I could go to hell.

“I see,” she only says, making the room become too quiet. I hear her inhaling and exhaling as well as the air blowing out of the a/c vents. It is better that I don’t talk anymore.

Then Julie starts weeping like a little girl on the brink of a down pour, “But you cheated.”

I hate when she cries, it always makes whatever we are discussing harder to deal with, because her tears get in the way of saying what I want. I feel like she gets away with so much shit because of them. For some reason I can count the fingers on one hand how many times I have cried in my life, just three.

“Don’t think of it that way, Jules. It meant nothing. I was in my office, she came on to me and that was it. It will never happen again. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t have worked with her.”

Julie frantically wipes away the tears, like they are bothering her now.

“I have an idea,” I say, hoping to end this ordeal so we can move on bigger and better things.

Julie looks up, staring at me with sad willful eyes. I just want to grab her in my arms and take her to our room for make-up sex.

“What is it?” she asks, looking interested.

“Let’s go away…how about California for a mini trip… I know you have been wanting to go. It will be our time to reconnect, to talk, and for me to tell you over and over again how much I love you. What do you say?” I ask.

I purposely avoid saying for us to have mindless sex; this would turn her off. Fuck the lack of it is why our relationship is suffering.

Julie, looks up smiling, leaning closer to me. “How about this?” she says, as she holds my hand.

“What?” I ask, feeling a woody come on, was she really going to step up to the plate and seduce me? I now have a full hard on ready for her luscious oasis.

“I’ll go, if you promise to never ever have an intern in your office again.”

Hard on gone now, I should have known she was not going to do anything sexually. Why did I even think she would change. Julie was no longer adventurous, this is still about her, her disappointment in me, and what she wants.

You said so yourself, if you hadn’t hired her this wouldn’t have happen,” she rebounds with.

Fuck, is she serious, they are so much fun to play around with, to screw around with and they put out. I’ll have to work around this, agreeing to what she wants to keep the peace. “OK, no more interns in my office,” I say with a straight face.

“OK, then California it is.” Julie says, as she excitedly stands up.

I lean into her and we manage to kiss, man she still gets me going. I grab her ass and push her into me. I just want to rip her clothes off, fuck she has me by the balls, now I just want to make love to her but like usual she backs away.

These are the times when I wonder why I even stay.

Chapter 8

Julie

“Are you a cheater?” I ask.

“No, I can’t stand cheaters.”

“Then why did you cheat?” I ask.

His blank stare is annoying, like he’s not sure what I am talking about. I really hate this about him. It seems like I always have to spell everything out for him like he is a child for him to understand what I am asking, or he will dance around the question.

It’s certainly the lawyer in him, always on the defense not wanting to be pinned down, wanting to say the least possible to not bury himself in a lie. I get it because I’m a lawyer too, but we are a couple. I would think he would let the reins down a bit but it seems like he has them higher.

"Why did you cheat? I ask again, my chest tightening, not wanting to cry, to be tough like him, also knowing how he doesn’t really appreciate my emotions. I take a deep breath, staying quiet until he answers my question.

Looking off to the side, not wanting any eye contact with him, but it doesn’t work, because hurtful tears do as they please, rushing down my cheeks. It seems the amount of tears I shed are equal to how he hurt me. Still he doesn’t answer.

"I want to know. Tell me the truth, I won't be mad,” I add, not really meaning it, it’s a saying my mother use to say to my father when he would come home late, desperately wanting to know the truth. I remember how she would say something to the effect of, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” or, was it, “You can catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar.”

I think if I came on too strong he may leave and I would never know the reason. I understand that men may find other women attractive, even when they’re in a relationship, but to turn around and sleep with one is another story. It is the ultimate betrayal, and I’m even surprised that I haven’t had Kevin packing.

All of this questioning, and trying to understand why he cheated could be over in a simple text, “It’s over,” message. But I can’t, I love Kevin. I couldn’t do this to him or me.

“Are you going to tell me?” I ask for the third time.

He looks down, his fingers going through his hair. He looks on the verge of tears. I just wait.

"She fucken wanted me, OK.”

“What?” I ask, feeling sick.

“And I fell for it,” he says.

“I mean how? Did she pin you down? Did she threaten you?” I ask, sounding like I was giving him a way out, realizing that was what I wanted to hear.

“No, it wasn’t like that.”

This kills me, because I sense he is not telling me the truth, “Then how was it?” I ask.

Kevin looking my way to say, “Do you really want to know? Fuck, because I wouldn’t. Why are you doing this?”

“Because I want to know,” I say, almost wanting to take what I just said, because I was starting to feel nauseous. But I was too far along to back down. “Go on, just tell me or I won’t forgive you.”

This gets Kevin going.

“Well, it happened one afternoon, she was taking notes across my desk. We were discussing a case, and her eyes were forever on me. I ignored it, thinking she was just being overly attentive because she graduated top of her class.”

I was visualizing him at his desk and this hot, blonde-shell was giving him the eye. “So if you felt uncomfortable, then why didn’t you have someone come in the office?”

“Come on Julie, shit like this happens all the time.”

“Really?” I say.

“Yes, men and women work together, and I bet there is a poll out there, that shows a huge percent of committed men and woman still fool around.”

“So you are saying this is no big deal?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Finish the story.”

“There’s actually not much, I got sidetracked by a call, to see she had gotten out of her seat, that when I got off the phone she was inches away by my chair, saying I looked tense, to where she turned my chair and seduced me.”

I felt on the verge of violence, I really wanted to punch him, but I had to keep my cool, however, I have no control of the tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Really, but you just let her?” I say, feeling the on set of a headache. “How did that make you feel?”

Kevin looks up, his eyes wide, “What kind of question is that?”

“I want to know, please I need to know, how that made you feel, her seducing you. How did that make you feel Kevin. It's a simple question, answer it now,” I demand.

"I don't want to hurt you,” Kevin says.

“Answer the bloody question. I'll ask it again, how did it make you feel? Did you like it or not?"

“Obviously I liked it,” he answers.

Those words cut through every core of my body, my heart frantically pounds and my temperature rises. I am beside myself, just wanting to crawl under a rock and hide forever.

"I am sorry," Kevin says.

No I was sorry, that I wasn't that girl who seduced him; no wonder he was swept by this intern.

I look at Kevin, his head down in shame. I realize that I was part to blame for his infidelity because he was hardly getting any sex at home. He wasn’t being sexually pursued and this is what he needs to feel wanted, to not sway away. How dare I continue not giving him what he needs? What is holding me back?

Another scary question pops to mind, taking my breath for a moment. It was one I wish would never leave my lips, but if I don't ask now I know it will eat me alive.

"One more question."

"I'm still recovering from the last one," Kevin says.

“This will be the last one I promise,” I say, feeling anxiety wash over me. Am I just being neurotic? Or am I just looking for a way to punish him more.

“OK, just one more.”

“Where there others? Did you fool around with other interns?” I ask, wanting to say did you fuck any other interns, but I am not the type of girl that openly curses.

Kevin looks away, and though he didn't answer his silence did. Still I had to hear it from his lips, the ones that possibly kissed more than I ever wanted to know or could imagine.

"So tell me. I need to know."

Kevin gets up from the love seat, walks over to me. Deep down I am hoping I am just being paranoid. Looking at him, I realize it doesn’t really matter if he cheated with just one girl, or ten, and if there were others. I may even feel better he didn’t have feelings for one. It may not make sense to others but it makes perfect sense to me.

"There were a few… I am so sorry."

"Are you?"

"Yes, I have been holding this terrible secret for too long. I wanted to tell you, because I want to put it behind us."

"I should have you packing your things and leave. I really should, but…I won’t. Do you know why?

He shakes his head, from side to side.

“It’s because I feel like I am to blame," I say, coldly amazed at how calm I am, or am I just in shock. If I’m feeling anger; I’m beyond rage and reacting.

Kevin looks up, "You are not.”

“I am, and I am willing to over look this nightmare for you.”

Kevin, looks up victorious."I love you Julie."

“Sex will no longer just be a weekly thing."

Kevin smiles, I know this is music to his ears.

"That would be nice." He moves closer in, "How about now?"

Why is it that I can’t be me?

Chapter 9

Julie

A month later

I wake up to see the packed suitcases in the corner of the bedroom. Kevin must’ve organized them before leaving for work. How sweet and considerate of him.

In just a few hours we'll be on Flight 210 to LAX. No more work calls or emergency meetings, to break our plans. This is our time to be faraway so we can put the past behind, and to rebuild our relationship. It is time we get serious about our future.

This time I won't think the worst and over react. I want nothing to come between us. I won't bring up the past and I won't let it get in our way. And I won't jump to conclusions either. Doing so is my worst fault. After all pretty girls are a part of life and it's not like they will disappear anytime soon. Still I forbid interns. I don’t think I’ll ever change my mind about having them near Kevin again.

Kevin left early for work, he said, "to tighten some loose ends”. I also have to tighten a few of mine; this includes emptying the refrigerator of leftovers and about to be expired milk and cream. Also check all windows to make sure they are locked, and to make sure the blinds are shut so no one can see through the apartment.

I also have to stop by the mall and find another bikini or two. So Kevin will only have eyes for me. I have to keep him guessing; to keep him interested. I can't give him reason to stray.

"Finally time alone for us to do what the fuck we want," he said, kissing me on the cheek as he left for work. I'm still feeling the rush, remembering how he pulled me close, his hand going up my nightgown until it was between my legs up my moist vagina. His manhood pressing on my upper leg, staring right in my eyes. I felt he was going to put down his briefcase and we were going to do it. My private was ready for him, getting wetter as he teased me. I was aching for him, but his stupid phone rang, and the moment was lost.

"I've got to take the call," he said, as he started talking, "Yes, I can see you today."

Who is he going to see? I wonder. I don't even want to think if it’s an intern. I still have this fear that he will have another, even though he promised he would never have one in the office again.

I look at the kitchen clock. Seeing I have three hours until I have to pick him up from work. We decided, he'd change at the office because the airport is only thirty minutes away. He said to call him, once I pull in the office parking lot and he'll be right down ready to go.

Saying there was no need going up to the office to waste my energy, because I'll need it for the trip. What a considerate person he is, always thinking of me. He truly has become a new man.

But my paranoid side, still thinks he may be hiding something or someone. I hope these feelings of doubt eventually go away. I have learned when I start feeling this way, I need to block it out of my mind. This is done when I get up and do something that has nothing to do with what I am thinking about, like read the front page of
The New York Times
.

I walk to the back of the apartment to check the windows one last time. I dress up, making sure I have all my things packed. I pick up the luggage, looking around the bedroom to see if there is anything I need to take on the trip. I don't see anything I need, everything seems to be packed.

I hear my phone ring, so I rush as fast as I can to the kitchen, but the weight of the bags, have me miss the call. I place the bags by the front door and go to the kitchen. I look at my phone to see a missed call from Kevin. Then a text follows.

"Don't forget to bring the box of surprises."

I blush reading the message.

"It was the first thing I packed."

"Greta, you drive me mad."

"Just wait," I text back, slipping into character.

"I and something else aches for you."

"Is it your penis?”

“Ah, Greta. I wish you were here.”

“I ache for it," I say in a Russian accent as I type. I’m in character now, and my body does ache for him.

"See you, Greta. My Russian princess."

Of course Greta is not my real name. It’s my sex name. It’s the one we came up with, when I was having difficulty being the woman he wanted. I still had issues tuning my desires and he helped me, digging deep within my reservations. Greta was born in a dark moment.

Kevin has been through a lot of stress at work, especially since the mix up or shall I say mix ups Thankfully he agreed to no more interns, they can't seem to keep their hands off of him. He was only trying to make them feel comfortable, but of course, each one took his kindness the wrong way, and he was seduced by them. And only a good level headed girlfriend would understand.

Locking the front door I walk to the car, I still have over two hours until I pick Kevin up, leaving me with plenty of time to go to the mall. I pray I find a jaw dropping sexy swimsuit that will have Kevin's eyes glued to my body. I feel I have to up my appeal as I sense I have been a little slack in that department, well aware he is downright attractive and charming. Or why else is he being seduced?

You must please your man. Is a constant reminder to me this past month.

I smile the entire way to the mall, I feel it in my bones this trip will be what we need to bring us closer emotionally and sexually. I have everything planned, right to the little cafes around Santa Monica.

Nothing or no one is going to ruin this trip.

Score, I was able to find not just one sexy bikini but three, all Kevin sex proof. One is a tiny, tiny, tiny black bikini, the second is a red tiny bikini that is border line G string, with a thicker string, and lastly a cheetah two piece that makes me blush. It even makes me want to growl looking at it.

On my way out of the mall parking lot, I text, "I bought something you will like. Sexy doesn't come close."

I stare at the screen waiting for his response, but nothing. I keep staring at it for five minutes and still nothing. He must be busy I think, still my heart starts beating.

Is there a intern with him? My irrational side, echoes in my mind.

Hush, hush, hush. My heart still beats faster and faster. I still have time to spare before picking him up. I walk back in the mall and get coffee.

I look at my phone again nothing. I decide to read my emails. Afterwords, I check to see if he text back, but there isn’t a message from him. I text him again. Still no response. I feel sick that I can hardly hold the phone.