Gramercy Nights (The Argo Press Trilogy Book 1) (36 page)

“You don’t have to hold back,” I whisper. “I’m here. Anything you want, it’s yours. Just tell me.”

Sebastian blinks in surprise but my gaze never wavers from his. I meant what I said.

He snaps his fingers and says something very quickly in German. The redhead slides from the bed, swinging her hips as she comes to stand in front of us. She speaks to Sebastian but her eyes are on me.

My heart beats faster.

What did he just ask her?

She leans down, her lips brushing mine softly. She tastes like sex and I find myself moaning. Next to me, Sebastian is silent, watching, his eyes never leaving us. I don’t know what he wants and I’m frozen in place, letting the woman in front of me caress my lips with hers, tasting me.

Finally, when I don’t think I can handle any more, Sebastian sits up straight. “You can leave now.”

The woman steps back and I collapse into the loveseat. Sebastian drops my hand, but he barely looks at them as he pays them and then they’re gone, the door shutting noiselessly behind them, and I realize the music must have stopped at some point because the room is silent and we are finally alone.

“Did you like that?” Sebastian growls, stalking towards me.

“Yes,” I sigh, letting my eyes wander over the lean perfection of his body. He slips a finger under the knot of his tie, pulling it loose.

“Get undressed.” He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I pull the dress over my head then drop it to the floor. I hear Sebastian suck in a breath as he steps back.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” he growls, pulling me into a kiss that melts my insides. There’s nothing gentle about his touch. It’s just raw lust and it’s all I need right now and I’m fisting my hands in his silky dark hair, pulling him closer, tasting him.

He lifts me easily and I wrap my legs tightly around his waist, our lips breaking contact for only a second.

“I need you now,” he whispers hoarsely. I nibble his neck hungrily, relishing in the way he moans under my touch. With one hand he yanks back the bedspread and throws me down on the bed. His tongue darts from his mouth, moistening his lips, and then he’s on me, his hands seemingly everywhere at once, his mouth sucking at my nipples through the thin lace of the corset as my body molds to his, urging him to continue.

He pushes off the bed and stands, his body radiating heat, and yanks off his clothing impatiently as I lay on the bed, my legs hanging open, my sex exposed and waiting, my eyes fixated on the perfect male specimen before me. I gasp when he pulls down his boxer briefs. I’ll never get used to the sight of him. To the way his body responds to mine.

He grabs my ankles and roughly pulls me down the bed until my ass rests at the edge of the mattress. Without removing my panties, just pushing them aside, he fills me. Possesses me. The passionate need in his eyes as he grips me firmly, fucking me hard, is the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed.

“I kept imagining the redhead fucking you until you came,” he grunts as he plunges into me roughly. “Watching her kiss you…God, you don’t know what it did to me.” He grips my biceps, fingers digging into me as he grunts and I find my clit, stroking myself, pleasure spiraling up as he continues to fuck me, hard and impatient and gloriously possessive until we both explode, eyes rolling back, as claims us, calming some of the raging need that has been threatening to consume us all evening.

I lean up on one elbow, gazing at Sebastian’s sweat slicked body, his head hanging limply against his chest. Even spent, he looks like a god. I crawl over to him, pressing my lips to his chest. He’s perfect in every way, and when he finally looks at me, he flashes me a mischievous grin.

“We aren’t even close to done here.” It’s both a threat and a promise and I can’t help but bite my lip. The things this man does to me…

I lose track of the number of times that Sebastian makes me come, the number of times I scream his name. But I’d happily scream his name until I lost my voice, until there was nothing left to lose.

I close my eyes, utterly spent, body and mind an incoherent mass of trembling flesh. Tomorrow, we return to New York. But for now, I want nothing more than to luxuriate in our spent bodies. I feel Sebastian lifting me into his arms, cradling me against his strong chest, and I breathe in the smell of sex on his skin.

“Hush,
petita
, go back to sleep.” His tender words are the last thing I hear before falling back asleep.

Chapter Thirty-Six

I’m too nervous to sleep on the flight back to New York. I pretend to read, but I can barely concentrate. Instead, I stare out of the window. I want to thank Sebastian. For everything. For Frankfurt. For our time together. But every time I look over at him, he’s working and anyway, there aren’t words to express the depth of feeling welling up inside me. I don’t know what’s happening, what any of this means, if it means anything, and I’m too afraid to ask.

I’ve seen it in his eyes. In the way he looked at me this morning when he noticed the purple bruises on my arms, the clear imprints of his fingers. Beneath the concern, I could see the look of self-satisfaction at the knowledge that he’d marked me once again as his.

Frankfurt was a dream, too perfect to be real, and now it’s time to return to our real lives. Only I don’t know how that will be possible. I feel Sebastian inside me always, like he’s stolen a piece of me and I’m only complete when he’s with me.

I don’t want to feel this way. I wish we could go back to pretending it’s just sex. But I can’t pretend any longer. No matter how much I want to.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sebastian’s voice startles me and I wonder how long he’s been watching me. I struggle to keep my face even.

“Nothing important.” A crease forms between his brows and I can tell he doesn’t believe me.

“I’m just scared of flying, that’s all,” I add hastily.

“You were fine on the flight over.”

“I was asleep on the flight over,” I remind him.

He runs a thumb across my cheek, brushing back a strand of hair before letting his hand drop to the armrest. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“I’m fine, I’m just tired,” I lie.

He nods finally but his eyes continue searching my face for something more, for the truth I can’t let him know behind the lie I spoke.

Sebastian keeps sneaking glances at me when he thinks I won’t notice, but I do and it’s making me increasingly nervous. Because he can read me like a book. And everything I’m feeling right now, I don’t want him to know.

When we land, he asks me to come home with him, but I know it’s time to go home. To my home.

Cinderella after the ball and all that.

But more than that, I don’t know if I can keep pretending that I’m fine. As much as I don’t want to leave Sebastian’s side, I know I need some time alone to think about everything that’s happened.

“One night?” he asks as we wait in line for our passports to be stamped.

I shake my head. I don’t want him to know how much I want that too. How much I want to let him take me home with him. “I promised Connor dinner and all the details about our trip.”

Sebastian raises one eyebrow and I laugh. “You know what I mean.”

Gary is waiting for us when we get through customs, taking our bags and piling them into the car. When we pull up outside my building, I’m amazed at how strange it is to be here after almost two weeks and I just stare up at the place I’ve called home for almost two years, feeling suddenly alien.

“It’s not too late to change your mind. We can order takeout and sleep in tomorrow.”

I place my hand flat on his chest, feeling his powerful heart beat, unable to hide the regret in my voice when I say, “I can’t.”

He just nods but insists on bringing my bags up with me. I don’t want him to go but I know he can’t stay.

Connor jumps up from the living room couch the second we step inside, taking me completely by surprise, but I can’t help the laugh that pours out of me as he hugs me tightly, lifting me easily off the ground. Sebastian nods at Connor before carrying my bags down the hall to my room.

“Let me down!” I squeal. I give Connor a smile. “Give me a sec.” I turn and head towards my room.

I find Sebastian sitting on the edge of my bed, his head down as he stares vacantly at his hands. “How did he get in?” The cheerless edge to his voice gives me pause.

“He has keys,” I say slowly.

Sebastian nods glumly.

I put a hand on my hip. “Sebastian, he’s family. Are you seriously telling me no one has keys to your place?”

He stares at a long time before finally saying, “Only you and Gloria.” The way he says it sends a pang through my chest. What had I thought when he gave me those keys? That it was meaningless? But I hadn’t let myself think about it at all, because all it does is add to my mounting confusion about what I mean to Sebastian. I shake away the thought as Sebastian stands stiffly, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s embarrassed by his admission.

And more than that, I don’t want to fight with Sebastian over something as trivial as keys.

He presses his lips to my forehead. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay? This week is a little crazy since we’ve been out of the office.”

I feel him pulling away, putting a wall between us, and I want to claw it down and pull him closer but all I can do is stare as he walks out of my room.

The apartment door slams shut with such finality I flinch.

“Everything okay?” Connor asks, poking his head into my bedroom. I look at him, at the concern in his eyes as I try to shake off the feeling that everything is definitely not okay.

“Long flight.”

“You sure you want to go out for dinner? I can run down and pick something up if you’re too tired.”

I shake my head. “I’m fine, just give me a sec to change.”

“Good. Get changed. I’m starving.”

I laugh. I’m glad Connor is here. The past week has been so surreal and having Connor here reminds me that this is real. I pull off my sweater and toss it on my bed. I just need to find something moderately clean and then we can go. Without thinking, I pull off my shirt.

“What do you want to eat? Pizza?” I ask, pulling a tank top off the floor and sniffing it. It’ll do. “Maybe a burger? I’m so sick of fancy restaurants. I need something normal and all-American.” Connor doesn’t say anything and I think for a moment he’s left. “Connor?” I glance over my shoulder and Connor staring at me, wide-eyed. “Connor?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Danny.”

“What?”

“What the fuck did he do to you?”

“What are you…?” I trail off, eyes darting to the angry purple bruises on my arms. When I glance back at Connor, his jaw is working furiously but he doesn’t say a word.

“He didn’t mean to,” I say lightly. But the look on Connor’s face doesn’t change and I realize how it must sound. Suddenly, I feel sick to my stomach. “Come on, Connor, you’ve never had a wild night before?”

“Not that left bruises all over the woman I’m with,” he spits out. “Jesus Christ, Danny, he’s twice your size. I don’t care if he didn’t do it on purpose. That’s not a fucking excuse.”

I stare at him in horror. “What he did to me?”

Connor motions to the bruises on my arms. “You can’t keep seeing him. Pack a bag. You can sleep at my apartment until we figure this out.”

“Connor, chill.”

“He hurt you.”

I shake my head. “He didn’t hurt me. We had sex. It was rough. That’s all.” I feel my voice returning and with it comes anger. Anger at Connor for thinking this is anything but what it is. For thinking I can’t take care of myself when that’s all I’ve been doing for years. He looks at me incredulously and I can tell he doesn’t believe me. “I liked it.”

For a moment, Connor is silent. “It was him, wasn’t it?” he says softly. “When you said someone offered to pay you for sex, it was Sebastian? That’s why you quit your job. You said yes. It had nothing to do with the book deal.”

I stare at him, my mouth hanging open but I can’t seem to form words. Even if I could, what could I possibly say? Deny it?

My silence is all the confirmation Connor needs. He recoils like I just slapped him.

“You deserve better than this shit,” he spits out angrily. “He’s going to use you and throw you out with the trash and I won’t always be here to pick up the pieces.” He’s halfway out the door before he stops and looks back at me. “I would never treat you like this.” With that, he storms out and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the look on his face right before he turned, the disappoint, the revulsion, like he was staring at a stranger.

For the second time in less than an hour, my front door slams shut. And when it does, I begin to cry.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I don’t know how much time has passed. It could be hours or minutes. Every time I think I’ve gotten the tears under control, I see the look in Connor’s eyes right before he stormed out, and I lose it again. I never thought he’d walk out on me. Never thought he’d turn his back on me. How many nights have we spent in this room, watching movies on my computer, talking until we both pass out? He’s been my family for years. Whenever I look around, all I see are those nights together and I realize I can’t stay here. Not if I want to keep my sanity. I scramble to my feet and text the first person I think of.