GreekQuest (12 page)

143

 

Dappled sunlight. You're in a clearing in the woods.

 

Paths lead north east to
135
, and south west to
99
.

 

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144

 

The guards march you off to the largest of the tents, which has guards of its own at the entrance. A muscular, grey-haired man looks up as you're marched in.

The guards salute smartly. “Barbarian, Your Majesty,” one says. “Found it sniffing round the outskirts of our camp.”

Your Majesty? Oh wow, this must be King Menelaus, Helen's husband, who started the war when Paris nicked his wife. He looks you up and down, frowning thoughtfully. “You aren't the youngster working for Zeus by any chance?” he asks.

“Yes, I am,” you nod with a distinct feeling of relief. Maybe you aren't going to be executed after all.

The king stands up. “Good. So you can tell me how to shorten this war. What I want to know is if I should fight that villain Paris in single combat or try some other tactic. What do you think?”

 

Interesting question. If you think he should fight Paris go to
129
. If you think he should try something else, turn to
108
.

 

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145

 

“Haven't seen you here before,” remarks an elderly but muscular man sweeping the doorstep of this low-rise building.

“That's because I haven't been here before,” you tell him.

“Obviously not Spartan,” he mutters.

“Is it my accent?” you ask, by now well accustomed to being taken for a barbarian.

“Well, you do talk a bit funny, but that's not it. If you were Spartan, you'd be living here from the age of seven, getting trained for military service. Means our youngsters aren't as soft as the big girl's blouses from the other city-states. Matter of fact, we call the other city-states sissy-states. That's the Spartan philosophy, kid. That's what makes us strong and famous. Want to find out more, you go see what's happening at the Military Barracks. If you've got a map, it's the furthest numbered building from this one. We do that on purpose so the recruits get a good run every morning.”

 

Consult your map at
61
and see if you can find out what this silly old fool's rambling on about. And of course if you don't want to visit the Military Barracks, you can always pick another destination.

 

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146

 

“Let's have a look at you,” he says, peering into your eyes and pulling out your tongue. “Now, as you know, everything in the world is made up of four elements, Earth, Air, Fire and Water, while your body is composed of four humours, blood, phlegm, yellow bile and black bile -”

“What's yellow bile?” you ask.

“Vomit,” he tells you tersely.

“And what's black bile?”

He shakes his head. “You wouldn't want to know. Now, disease occurs when the humours get unbalanced. Summer, which is the season of the element Fire tends to produce too much yellow bile, for example, while spring influences the humour of blood. Once we get you balanced, according to the principles of Hippocrates, the father of Greek medicine, you'll feel wonderful. Chew this.”

With which he hands you a bunch of dried leaves.

 

You may feel a bit of a goat munching dried leaves, but these old Greek herbal treatments really worked, even if their theories were a bit batty. The treatment will restore a double dice roll of Life Points and leave you free to skip along the path north to
78
or north east to
18
.

 

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147

 

“Sorry, lads,” you say pleasantly enough, “not my bag. Besides which I've got this thing to do for Zeus and you know how gods hate to be kept waiting.”

“You mean you're not going to take the job?” asks one child, staring up in wide-eyed innocence into your face. A tiny tear escapes and begins to trickle down his cheek.

You reach over to pat him on his curly little head. “Afraid not,” you smile wistfully.

“Kill him!” snarls the boy.

“Kill him!” screams the crowd gathered around you.

As one man they hurl themselves upon you.

 

You can make a fight of this if you like. There are 7,000 students at this military academy, each with 50 Life Points and access to a +3 sword. But when you get tired of rolling dice you can always accept your fate by moving on directly to
13
.

 

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148

 

“Wrong!” shouts the huge man, casually hurling you all the way to 61.

 

So pick yourself up, dust yourself off and select another destination from your
61
map.

 

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149

 

“No, sorry,” you say prissily. “I'm afraid I simply can't.”

“But if you don't, you can't consult the oracle!” wails the priest. “Are you sure you won't reconsider?”

 

Well, are you? If you truly, deeply, madly want to consult the oracle, it looks as if you're going to have to get your gear off at
11
. But if you're the sort of adventurer with the courage to stand on principle, strike a noble pose and turn to
126
.

 

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150

 

To your irritation, the Brief Guide informs you that while Sparta was famous in the ancient world and gave us our modern word spartan, little is actually known about it. It was one of the ancient Greek city-states, the capital of somewhere called Laconia, situated in the foothills of Mount Taygetus, which is apparently where you are now.

You can also make a stab at guessing when you are now from the fact that Sparta was much like any other city-state in its early days, but from the 6th century BC on, the Spartans turned to military discipline in a big way. Deformed or just plain weak children simply weren't allowed to live and boys started learning to be soldiers at the age of 7 - all of which makes some sense of your first impressions.

But apart from that and the fact that the city was eventually destroyed by the Goths, the Guide has nothing else to say.

It occurs to you suddenly that you should have asked the woman how to get to the city, but when you look up from your book, she's disappeared.

 

Leaving you with no other option but to trudge off disconsolately to
130
.

 

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151

 

“No, thanks,” you say politely. “I'm afraid I have to be getting on.”

“My home not good enough for you?” he asks belligerently.

“No, nothing like that,” you tell him placatingly. “It's just that -”

“Not good enough for a smelly barbarian, then? Not good enough for somebody who can hardly speak Greek without baaing like a sheep? Not good enough for some sweaty, ugly -”

At which point you punch him on the nose.

 

Thus removing five of his 45 Life points and giving you an automatic first strike in the fight that's sure to follow since these Spartans seem ready to pick a fight at the drop of a hat. The other employees of the little shoe factory won't let either of you use weapons, so you're just going to have to batter each other to death with your bare fists. If either of you is brought below 10 Life Points without dying, that will count as a win for the opponent and you can stagger off to
61
to select another destination. If you're killed, you can only stagger off to
13
.

 

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152

 

Dappled sunlight. You're in a clearing in the woods.

But not an empty clearing. There's an old guy with a high forehead and a long white beard standing to one side of the starting line of what looks like a hundred yards race track. Beside him, on the line itself, are an athletic-looking young man and a tortoise.

“Ah,” he calls out when he sees you. “Just what we need - a young person with brains. Are you interested in an intellectual challenge?”

 

Good question. If you've time for an intellectual challenge, turn to
24
. If not, you can always refuse politely at
43
.

 

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153

 

Dappled sunlight. You're in a clearing in the woods.

 

Paths lead east to
48
and south west to
128
.

 

Please select an option from the previous page.

154

 

You can tell at once Zeus is the boss around here. Not only is the temple enormous, but the statue in it is nothing short of gigantic - the sort of thing that gets listed as one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, or at very least merits a small mention in the Guinness Book of Records.

You walk over to the big toe, which towers above you in its own right. A little overawed at how well thought of the old boy seems to be round here, you cup your hands to your mouth and shout up towards the head, “I'm here, Great Zeus. I've made it!”

With a curious grinding noise, the statue bends down so you are nose to nose. “Where's my statue of Aphrodite?” it asks stonily.

 

There's an unexpected turn-up. If you happen to have a statue of Aphrodite about your person, lay it at the feet of Zeus and move on to
4
. If not, you'd better get back to your map at
61
and see if you can find one, not forgetting to get your pass back from the temple guard so you can get back in again.

 

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155

 

“Three obols seems quite reasonable,” you tell the man. “Perhaps I will have a new pair of sandals after all.” You point to a pair in the heap beside him that have some ornate thonging. “Those, perhaps.”

“Why bless you,” he says kindly, “you can't have those - they're in for repair. Besides which, we couldn't guarantee a good fit if you just picked a pair ready made.”

“So what -?” you ask, confused. You've bought shoes ready made all your life.

“I can tell from your accent you're a bit of a barbarian, but never mind that. You just come in here and we'll soon sort you out.”

You walk through the entrance into the open courtyard and the young boy rushes across to lead you to a low wooden bench strewn with various pieces of leather. “Just put your foot up here, please,” he says.

For the next half hour you're treated like a king. Using a metal-tipped wooden-handled tool, the boy carefully traces outlines of your feet on matching pieces of leather. Then you're handed a goblet of foaming purple wine to drink while one of the women cuts the leather.

Another of the men comes across to try various thongs against your ankles. There's a lengthy discussion about style and decoration and finally you get to watch while the second woman stitches your new sandals together. You slip them on, tie them up and they fit perfectly.

“Worth every penny,” you tell them as you hand over the obols.

 

Better get out of there quickly before you're tempted to leave a tip. Now walk comfortably back to
61
and select another destination from your map.

 

Please select an option from the previous page.

156

 

Dappled sunlight. You're in a clearing in the woods.

 

Paths lead east to
128
, south east to
103
, and south to
87
.

 

Please select an option from the previous page.

157

 

“But look here,” you argue, “don't you ever make exceptions?”

“Did once,” says the priest thoughtfully. “Cadmus, his name was. He was son of the King of Phoenicia, though, and on a very important mission. Trying to find his sister - they say Zeus kidnapped her. Anyway, he turned up in winter and we let him have an oracle. Not that it did him any good. The pythia ordered him to stop looking for his sister, follow a cow, and build a town wherever the cow lay down. That's how we got Thebes. He brought the alphabet to Greece as well. Very important man.”

“If you did it for him, surely you're ethically bound to do it for me? After all, I've come a long way.” you say reasonably, hoping he won't ask you how far.

“You're probably right,” says the priest. “Besides, if Apollo doesn't want to talk to you, he'll probably send Dionysus.”

“And will he give me an oracle?”

The priest nods. “It may be a little slurred, since he's usually quite tipsy, but you'll certainly get something. Follow me.”

 

With which he leads you directly to
82
.

 

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