Groupie/Rock Star Bundle (39 page)

I tried again. “My name’s Andy,” I said.
“You’re here for Dreaming in Blue, aren’t you?” She didn’t answer.
“I’ve seen you before. In New York, then again in Los
Angeles.”

She turned on me with a cool smile. “Good for
you.” She plucked a strawberry from her plate and bit into it. She
glanced down at the fried shrimp on my plate. “You shouldn’t eat
fried food,” she murmured. “Especially at your size.”

My mouth fell open. Did she just insult me?
“Excuse me?”

“Listen,” she said as she stood closer. “I
don’t mean be rude but I think someone should tell you. Giovanni
doesn’t want you. Following him around from city to city is really
quite pathetic.”

My hand went to my hip. “And what do you call
what you’re doing?”

She just laughed as she dumped her leftover
strawberry stem on my plate. “He knows why I’m here.” She cocked
her head to the side. “You can’t take his attention too seriously.
He’s just trying to be nice. Maybe he thinks after poor Tawnie
you’ll be the next to go. I mean, it’s really quite desperate your
hanging around him like you do. Give the guy some breathing room.
You’re suffocating him.” She started to giggle. “Literally!” With
that gale of laughter she sashayed off, looking mighty proud of
herself.

I tossed my plate down and stalked
back toward the theater. I hadn’t been treated that disrespectfully
by another girl since middle school, and I didn’t much like it now.
As much as I wanted to slap her right across her spiteful face
there was a part of me that wondered if there was any truth to what
she said.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t kept secrets from me
in the past, or was keeping secrets about me in the present. If he
slept with Tawnie, that meant he could have slept with any fan. And
I knew he was devastated over Tawnie’s suicide; would he really be
keeping me on the line to make sure I didn’t do anything
desperate?

My stomach was tied so much in knots
that I felt I could vomit. I would have tried to get out of the
concert if there was anyone else to take my place. Instead I tried
to tough it out, though once I got into the theater the strobe
lights, fog and loud music only made things that much
worse.

I watched Vanni carefully and he
continued the same theme with Kat onstage so he didn’t have to sing
directly to his fans. Every now and then he’d glance out into the
audience, but it was off in the distance past where the lights
trailed off in the darkened theater.

Still, watching his convincing routine with Kat
was enough to keep me spinning around in uncertainty. He was a good
actor. Perhaps too good. By the time they did their encore I
totally believed that he was completely devoted to Kat, which was
not the feeling he left me with the night before when he told me he
was happy to be with me.

Could I really believe anything he
said?

My angst must have shown on my face because
Kalliope insisted that I sit down while she got me some water.
“You’re absolutely green,” she exclaimed as she put a hand to my
head. “Do you get motion sickness?”

“Not usually,” I muttered. But I had
never been on a ship out on the open water before, so anything was
possible.

“Do you suffer migraines?” she asked as she
reached for her bag.

“Occasionally. Maybe four or five times a year.
Why?”

“Because that can make you more susceptible to
seasickness. Don’t ask me why.” She pulled a box of travel sickness
pills from her bag. “Here. Take one and head on back to your
room.”

“I can’t,” I protested but the minute I stood
my stomach threatened to rebel. I sat back down. “Okay. I guess I
can.”

She had someone assist me back to my room,
which made me feel like a complete loser, but I couldn’t fault her
choice when I realized the ship was spinning around me. It was a
lot less loser-like to be walking on two feet with assistance than
crawling on the ground clutching the walls.

The pills knocked me out almost immediately
once I got to the room, I didn’t even bother to get undressed.
After about an hour I heard someone knocking on the door, but I
didn’t trust myself to get up to answer it. Instead I put the
pillow over my head and tried to go back to sleep.

The next morning we docked at Belize
City, and I already knew that the guys had planned to go ashore. I
thought about it briefly, but a lingering migraine and subsequent
nausea from the night before made it a lot easier to stay in bed. I
really had no plans to go ashore with anyone anyway, and I really
didn’t feel like running into Talia in my compromised
condition.

I would have loved to corner Vanni
to ask about the confrontation we’d had, but there were two things
stopping me. One, I already knew that Kat had booked him solid with
things to do ashore. Without being confined to a boat where anyone
could track them down, they were able to explore the different
ports of call with more privacy and freedom.

Two, how could I tell the difference if he was
lying or telling the truth? Sure he had confessed many sins to me,
but what if he really had been talking to Talia about his feelings
about my “desperately” chasing him around all over the country and
couldn’t own up to it face to face?

That was the biggest pitfall loving someone
like Vanni. I never knew when the illusion ended and when the man
began. I had been burned too many times before.

I could only trust him, and I found that was
harder and harder to do.

There were things that just didn’t make sense
to me. Like why she had stopped sending him letters suddenly, as if
she no longer needed that email address to communicate with him. I
was also concerned why she wasn’t more offended, like Tawnie had
been, when he tried to distance himself from the fans in Los
Angeles.

It was as though she knew she had nothing to
fear or lose, and the only way she could know that is through
communication with him, and a relationship with him.

I groaned and pulled the covers over
my head. All the stress was making my head pound so hard I thought
it would cave in.

I would have slept all the way
through until dinner if someone hadn’t come pounding on my door
around 4:30 p.m. I trudged over to the door in my bare feet and
peered through the crack to see Vanni standing there.

I unlatched the door and let him in.
“What are you doing here?”

“Trying to find you,” he stated with a slight
grin. “Where have you been?”

“I haven’t felt well,” I muttered as
I turned and went back to the bed.

“Odds are you feel better than Kat,”
he said as he followed me, and sat on the edge.

“What are you talking about?” I asked as I
pulled the covers up to my chin.

“We went parasailing this morning. She broke
her leg as she was coming in to land.”

My eyes shot open in surprise. She
wasn’t exactly my best friend but I never wanted her to get hurt.
“That sucks. I’m sorry to hear it.”

He propped himself up on his elbow. “Yeah, it’s
definitely going to be tough for a while. She was pretty drugged up
and I don’t think they’re going to let her fly back home right
away.”

“What do you mean? She’s not back on the
ship?”

He shook his head. “Wenonah offered to fly with
her back to L.A. since the main concert was over. The rest of the
stuff includes fan events she wouldn’t attend anyway.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t stay with
her.”

“The show must go on,” he said as he sprawled
on his back. “Truthfully I think she was relieved to go home. She
would have been cooped up in that tiny cabin going crazy with
nothing to do. She’ll have to do some physical therapy to rejoin
the tour eventually but I think she might use this as an excuse to
find something else to do. Things were a lot different when she
auditioned to join the band. I don’t think she had a clue what
success and fame would do to her life.”

“None of us do,” I muttered as I
closed my eyes to block out what little light was in my
cabin.

He nodded then he looked over at me. “You’re
really miserable?”

“I’ll be better after some sleep,” I
said without opening my eyes. I hoped he would take it as a
hint.

I felt the bed shift under his
weight as he propped himself up closer to me. When he started to
rub my shoulders it felt so good I could hardly complain. I lay on
my stomach and let him work his magic along my tense neck,
shoulders and back muscles.

Within minutes I had drifted off in dreamland,
thanks to my motion sickness pills.

When I opened my eyes again there
were images flickering on the wall in my darkened cabin. I leaned
up to see Vanni lying next to me on the bed, watching a movie
quietly on the in-room TV.

“What are you doing here?” I asked when he
glanced down at me.

“Waiting for you,” he said with a smile. “Feel
better?”

Surprisingly enough, I did. I nodded. “You have
magic hands.”

He gave me a wink. “You already knew that.” I
couldn’t help but giggle. “We missed dinner but we could probably
go find something to eat. If you’re up for it.”

I rose up into a sitting position –
the true test of how well I felt. “So far so good,” I said as I
stood slowly and then made my way to the bathroom. I instantly
regretted looking in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and bloodshot
and my face was all splotchy. How could Vanni want to go anywhere
with me?

I took a deep breath and then splashed cold
water on my face. After a quick shower I felt more revived, but
suddenly realized I should have brought a change of clothes in with
me. Now I had to go out into the cabin in only a robe, and I didn’t
know how Vanni would react to the gesture.

If past history was any indication, odds were
not in my favor to hold onto my tenuous vow of celibacy. If he
touched me, if he even looked at me, I might be done
for.

He was still sprawled on the bed
when I scurried out quickly to grab some clothes, and though I
didn’t trust myself to look his direction I could feel his raised
eyebrow and smirk from across the tiny cabin.

Suddenly it felt even tinier.

I grabbed my clothes and hurried back into the
bathroom, and didn’t emerge again until I was dressed in jeans and
a casual top.

Predictably the smirk was plastered firmly in
place, but he said nothing as he rose to his feet. Every inch the
gentleman he opened the door for me and guided me with the light
touch of his hand on my back as we made our way to the late-hour
café.

He didn’t say much until after we
were about halfway through our meal. Finally he lowered the boom.
“So Graham will be arriving tomorrow,” he mentioned casually as he
plucked a fry from his plate.

I murmured the affirmative but didn’t answer
beyond that. Instead I stuffed my face with a large, gooey
cheeseburger.

Vanni, however, was reluctant to let the
subject go. “Are you planning to spend any time with
him?”

I shrugged. “We hadn’t really discussed it,” I
said, which was true. Beyond those events where we were working
with the band, there hadn’t been any plans made to spend together
socially. It seemed inevitable, of course. The ship was big but it
was a contained environment. Unless we went out of our way to avoid
each other, we’d likely cross paths. I knew that we’d both endeavor
to make that as painless and as cordial as possible, even though we
hadn’t seen each other since that night he left me on the
beach.

Maybe that was going through Vanni’s
mind as well. Having the three of us together after that very
awkward scenario was probably weighing on his mind too, especially
after the fiasco with Jasper.

I wiped my hands on a napkin. “It’s not what
you think it is.”

“And what do I think it is?” he
challenged.

“Graham and I are… just friends,” I
clarified.

“Were you always?” he wanted to
know.

“No,” I answered honestly as I looked him
square in the eye. “But that’s irrelevant. We just want different
things, that’s all.”

“Different things? Or different
people?”

The pile of junk food sitting in my stomach
started to rebel. I knew I wasn’t physically up to this
conversation, or any conversation that put me on the spot about my
clusterfuck of a love life. “Vanni…”

“Come on, Andy. I’ve been up front with you. I
just want to know the truth. Do you love him?”

I sighed as I sat back against the
chair. If only there was a simple answer to that question. Until
Vanni came along I wouldn’t have used the word love for anyone
because I expected it to be the kind of explosive, life-changing,
mind-bending experience that first happened when I was locked into
Vanni’s arms for the first time.

But there was no question that I was
attracted to Graham, and I cared about him so much I was willing to
abandon Vanni and chase after him because the idea I may have hurt
him wounded me to the core. He’d never done one thing to me to
deserve my betraying our budding relationship, and in fact offered
me a side to romance I hadn’t found in Vanni – at least not
consistently. Whereas Vanni had been a steamy affair where we
couldn’t get enough of one another, with Graham I felt wanted in
every other way outside of the bedroom.