Guardian (The Guardian Trilogy) (15 page)

“Just
the opposite,” I admit, blushing.

James
wraps me in his arms, kissing the top of my head.  “What am I going to do with
you?” he laughs softly against my hair.

“Stop
doubting my love,” I say against his chest.

He
pulls away to look at me.  “I don’t doubt that you love me,” he says
sincerely.  “I’m just not sure I’ll be able to keep up with the competition.”

I
grimace as I let out an exasperated sigh.  “There is no competition!”

He
gives me a wary look.

“Let’s
not talk about that anymore,” I say as I move back and rest against the
pillows.  “Come here,” I reach for him.

James
relaxes and shifts to lie down with me, folding himself into my arms.  He lays
his head against my chest and holds me as our legs intertwine.  I reach down to
pull up my comforter again.  I lie there, mindlessly running my fingers through
his hair, amazed that I’m able to do this.  My hand feels no texture, only cool
air, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

After a
few moments, James sighs contentedly.  “I’ve missed this.”

“Me too.” 
We used to spend hours wrapped like this while we watched television or just
talked.  It’s so comfortable, I yawn.  “Will you be able to visit me tomorrow?”
I ask.

“I
think I can arrange that.”

A grin
spreads across my face and I can’t help but sound excited.  “We have the whole
day.”

“Does
that make you happy?” he teases.

“Very.”

“Do you
want to turn off the light?” he asks, shifting to look up at me.

I gaze
at him.  The fact that I am able to look at him, look into those blue eyes
again, astounds me.  Without the light, I won’t be able to see him.  “No,” I
whisper.

He
smiles and kisses my nose.  “Good night.”

“Good
night.”

James
lays his head back down.

“I love
you,” I say.

“Until
the end of forever,” he murmurs against my chest.

“I’m
here.”

I hear
James’ voice as soon as my eyes open.  I look around the room and it appears
I’m alone.

“I
didn’t want you to freak out like yesterday,” he teases.

“When can
I see you?”

“Soon.”

“Soon? 
Don’t they tell time where you are?” I ask, annoyed.

James
laughs.  “Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

“No,” I
pout.  “I woke up alone.”

“I’ll
work on that,” he promises.  “I love you.”

“I love
you too.”

“Watch
out for…”

Silence. 
“What?”  No response.  “James?  Watch out for what?”

No
answer.  He must be gone for now.  I sigh and roll out of bed.

After
breakfast, I was recruited by my parents to help in the yard, which I didn’t
mind because it passed the time.  Shel decided to spend our unpaid vacation day
with her mother and attend a family Memorial Day get-together.  By
mid-afternoon, with the yard work done and Shel away, I was starting to get
bored and impatient.  Even with my brother and Kate stopping by for our small
barbeque, I was still distracted, waiting for James.

I stare
out over the backyard, thinking.  Would we do more of the same today?  What
excuse could I use to abandon my family, so I could spend time with him?  What
if he doesn’t show up until tonight?  My heart sinks at the thought.  I want to
spend as much time with him as possible.  This waiting is killing me. I need to
know more about him, like what his limitations are, when he can come and go,
things like that.  I start to compile a mental list of questions.

“Hello? 
Earth to Emma.”

I blink
and refocus to see Kate waving her hand in front my face.  The movement makes
her mousy brown ponytail bob.

“Are
you finished?” she asks, reaching for my plate.

I look
at the half-eaten hamburger.  “Yeah, sure, thanks.”

“Everything
okay?” she asks as she stands.

Little
does she know that things are so much better than the last time I saw her.  I smile. 
“Yes, things are great.  Just a little bored, I guess.”

Kate
looks surprised by my response, but smiles at me anyway.  “If you want
something to do, why don’t you take Jake for a walk?” she suggests.  “I think
he’s tired of being tied up.”

I look over
at Jake, Mike and Kate’s yellow lab puppy, lying under the shade of our big
maple tree.  He’s about three months old and so darn cute.  “Yeah, I think I’ll
do that.  Thanks,” I say and head over to untie Jake.  “I’ll take him over to
the park.”

“’Kay. 
Make sure you take a poop bag,” she says over her shoulder as she heads into
the house with our plates.

“C’mon
Jake,” I bend down to meet him as he jumps up.  I scratch behind his ears and
ask him in a silly baby voice, “Who wants to go for a walk?”  He licks my
hand.  I untie the leash, grab a plastic bag from Kate’s purse, and head to the
park.

I
follow Jake’s wagging tail as we head up the road and across the street.  When
we get to the park, the main beach is crowded for the holiday.  Every picnic table
near a grill is occupied, the small play area is teeming with kids, and a line
has formed outside the concession stand.

“Let’s
go this way, Jake,” I steer him to the left.  “You’ll like the trail.”

Jake
and I start our walk on the main nature trail the circles the park.  I laugh to
myself as he investigates – and pees on – just about everything.  He’s excited
and yanks my arm forward several times.  There is no leisurely pace with him. 
“You’re going to wear me out,” I lightheartedly scold him.  “But I forgive you
because you’re cute.”

“You’re
pretty cute yourself.”

I turn
around to see James standing a few feet away, smiling at me.  A huge grin breaks
across my face.

“You’re
here!”  I say, my voice filled with relief, as he walks toward me.  When he gets
within reach, he wraps his cool arms around my waist and kisses my forehead.

“Hello.”

“Hi,” I
breathe.

He
smiles down at me.  “Babysitting?”

“Just
taking Jake for a walk to pass the time.”

James
takes a step back in order to kneel down.  He reaches toward Jake.  “Hey there
buddy,” he says playfully.

Jake
turns his head to look at James, and then trots over to where he’s kneeling. 
To my amazement, he licks James’ outstretched hand and jumps up slightly,
begging to be scratched.  James obliges, but it doesn’t appear that Jake feels
it. 

“He…You…he…”
I stutter.

James
grins up at me.  “Yep,” he answers my unasked question.

“How?”

James
finishes petting Jake and stands.  “Haven’t you ever heard that animals have a
sixth sense?”

I give
him a confused look.

“Let’s
walk,” he suggests.

As Jake
leads us down the trail, two older women pass us in the opposite direction. 
They smile at Jake and then at me, oblivious to James.  Once the ladies are out
of ear shot, I whisper, “Why can’t they see you?”

His
hand slides into mine, and the cool feeling radiates up my arm.  “Because I
only have permission to reveal myself to you.”

I
smile; his reason makes me feel special.  “What have you been doing?” I ask.

“A
little of this, a little of that.”

“Can’t
you tell me?”

“What
do you want to know?”

I give
him an annoyed look.  “Like only a million things.”

“Just a
million?” he teases.

We come
up on a bench set to the side of the nature trail next to a sign about
indigenous plants.  I head to it and take a seat, then look at James expectantly. 
“If I ask you some questions will you give me answers?”

“I’ve
been waiting for an inquisition.”  He sits next to me and places his hand on my
knee.  “Fire away.”

I watch
Jake wind his leash around the bench leg as I retrieve my mental list of
queries.  “How did you become a Guardian?”

James’ expression
turns distant.  “Garrett.  Garrett gave me the choice.”

“Garrett,
your Guardian?” I ask.

He
nods.

“What
were your choices?” I ask softly.

“To
become a Guardian or continue on to Heaven.”

My eyes
light up at the thought.  “Heaven exists?” 

James
nods.

“Why
didn’t you choose Heaven?  Why get a choice at all?”

James
pauses, thinking, as his thumb traces a cold circle on my knee.   “I was given
a choice because I was a Ward with a life well-lived…a Ward who died before he was
supposed to.  Garrett told me that I could choose to become a Guardian, live in
the Intermediate, and watch over my loved ones...watch over you.  So I bound
myself to the choice, despite the consequences.”

I
blink.  “What consequences?  What’s a Ward?”

He
smiles.  “All humans are Wards.  You are a Ward.”

“Are
you my Guardian?”

“No,
but you have one.”

“Does
everyone have one?”

“Yes.”

“Have
you met mine?”

James looks
amused.  “Yes.”

This is
intriguing.  “Who is it?  Is it someone I know?”

“I’m
not allowed to share that information.  But it’s someone you’ve never met.”

He removes
his hand from my knee and drapes his arm around my shoulders.  The chill that glides
down my spine feels like an icy stream of water and it distracts me.  I pause
to think.  James waits patiently, brushing his fingers back and forth over my skin.

“Can
you tell me who your Ward is?” I finally ask.

He
shakes his head.  “I don’t have one.”

“Why
not?”

“I
haven’t completed my training.”

Jake
bumps my foot, and I bend over to unwind his leash.  “So, what is it that you
do for us Wards?” I ask as I work at unwinding Jake.

“We
guide and protect you.”

“Like
Guardian Angels?”

“Similar. 
Minus the wings.”

When
Jake is successfully unwound, I sit back up.  “Do other people see and hear
Guardians?”

“It’s
up to a Guardian how they want to reveal themselves, if at all,” he explains. 
“I reveal myself only to you, but once I’m trained I can appear to others if
necessary.  You’ve heard of people called mediums, right?  People who interact
with the dead?”

I nod.

James
smiles.  “They are interacting with Guardians.”

My
mouth falls open.  “Really?”

He
nods.  “Most Guardians work invisibly though.  You know the feeling you
sometimes get when you know something is wrong or off?  Like your conscience
tells you ‘this might be dangerous?’”

“Guardian?”
I guess.

“Right,”
James says.

“Your
intuition is really your Guardian?”

“Yes.”

I think
I’m catching on to this and start guessing.  “Déjà vu?”

“Guardian.”

“Pre-cognition?”

“Guardian.”

“Creepy
feeling that you saw something move out of the corner of your eye and nothing’s
there?”

“Guardian.” 
James grins.  “Pretty cool, huh?”

I nod
and Jake bumps my foot again.  “Geez, Jake, could you stay in one spot?” I start
to unwind him.

“He
needs to walk.  Let’s keep going,” James says and stands.

With
Jake freed, we continue around the nature trail, following the freshly mowed
curve.  James walks by my side with his arm around my waist.  I know it’s not
the most ideal situation, but I could really get used to this.  We walk in
silence, enjoying each other’s company, until another question pops into my
mind.

“What
determines how long you can visit me?”

“Not
what, who.  Garrett calls me back when I have to go.”

“What
do you have to leave me for?”

“I’m in
training, remember?”

“Oh yeah,
the consequences.”

James
stops walking.  I take a few steps and turn around.  “What is it?”

His
expression turns serious and his blue eyes darken.  He takes two strides toward
me, so we’re standing nearly nose to nose.  He gazes at me intently.  “I chose
to be a Guardian so I could stay near you,” he says quietly.

“Thank
you,” I whisper.

“When
I’m assigned a Ward, I won’t be able to spend as much time with you,” he
admits.

“When
will that be?”

 “I don’t
know.”

“Well,
we’ll make the most of our time while we have it.”  I reach up to place my hand
against the side of his face.  “It’s too bad you can’t be my Guardian.  We
could spend every day together.”

James
shakes his head no.  “There are rules.”

“Rules?”

His
hand slides under my chin and instinctively I lean forward.  He places a gentle
kiss on my lips.  “Guardians cannot be romantically involved with their Wards. 
If I were your Guardian, I could no longer love you, and you could not release
me from my Guardianship when you die.  Do you know how excruciating it would be
for me to guide and protect you without being allowed to love you?”

Tears unexpectedly
spring to my eyes.  “Why is it so bad to love your Ward?”

“Guardians
care for their Wards like a brother loves a sister.  Anything stronger would
cloud a Guardians judgment.  A Ward must lead a life well-lived by making decisions
on their own; I would be too tempted to intervene.  Wards require guidance, not
intervention.”

I
search his face.  “Are there any other rules I should know about?”

“I’m
bound to be a Guardian for eternity.  There will be no Heaven for me.”

“Until
I release you,” I remind him.  “I’m your true love, remember?”

“
If
you release me,” he says softly, his eyes giving away his worry.

“Hey, I
thought we already discussed this,” I gently chastise him.  “I will choose
you.”

James
gives me a sad smile.  “We’ll see.”

A young
couple rounds the corner of the trail walking hand in hand.  I turn abruptly to
adjust my stance and pull Jake’s leash to get his attention.  I steal a glance
at James, and we start to walk up the trail again.

“Have
you gone to see your parents?” I whisper once the people have passed us.

He
wraps his cool arm around my waist.  “I’ve checked in on them.”

“How
are they?”

James
doesn’t immediately respond.  I look up to find his face impassive, his jaw
tense.  “They are in denial,” he says flatly.