Guess Who I Pulled Last Night? (9 page)

“Please just let this feeling be over, please, please,
please,” she sobbed, rocking backwards and forwards.

Kerry must have been sat for almost an hour when the
doorbell rang, at first she thought about ignoring it, but by the third ring
whoever that was on the other side was getting a little insistent. 
Slowly, she pulled herself up and wiped her face on the tea towel that was on
the end of the table, before going down the hall to open the door.  Kerry
didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when she saw that it was Charlotte. 
She was glad it wasn’t Kelvin, forgotten his key, back for round two, but she
knew she would probably be about to face another barrage of questions from
Charlotte.

“You look attractive I must say,” announced Charlotte,
pushing her way into the house.  Kerry followed her into the lounge.

“Hello to you too, so what do I owe the honour?” she asked,
flouncing down onto the sofa.

“Sorry, didn’t realise that I needed an invitation.” 
Charlotte sighed and sat next to her friend.

“You don’t, want a cup of tea?”

Charlotte shook her head.  “No, but I would like to
know how you are feeling?  You seemed particularly fed up at the pub last
night, you barely said two words once Stuart arrived.  Did it upset you
with him being there?   Have Bets or I upset you; or has Kelvin?

“No, although I don’t think Kelvin, and I are on the best of
terms at the moment, but no; none of you have upset me.  However, what’s
the point in me saying that or anything else because you all obviously think
something different, you all seem to think I’m ill no matter what I say.” 
Kerry turned her head away, not wanting Charlotte to see the tears starting to
brim against her eyelashes.

“Well you are certainly not yourself, and haven’t been for a
while, and whether you want to admit it or not it coincides with you having
Esme, or not long after anyway.”  Charlotte turned Kerry’s head back to
her with a finger beneath her chin.  “So tell me truthfully, do you feel
depressed or are you still going to keep up this pretence that you are just
bored and tired.”

Kerry ran a hand through her hair before rubbing her tear-stained
face. “No I do not feel depressed, and yes I am bored, bored with you lot
trying to analyse me and putting me down as a nutter.  I have a baby, so
it’s no wonder I’m tired. Babies don’t always sleep all night you know. They
have things like teething, which keeps them awake, and they need constant
attention.  I also have a husband who is acting like a child because he
hasn’t had his leg over for a while, and two best friends who insist on
treating me like an invalid, so yes I’m pissed off!  Does that explain
everything to you?”  Kerry now stood up, afraid that Charlotte would hear
her heart thumping loudly in her chest.

“Okay, okay, calm down I don’t want to upset you, but we are
all worried about you.”  Charlotte stood up too and placed a comforting hand
on Kerry’s shoulder.

“I know you are,” Kerry whispered, the thudding
subsiding.  “But I’m fine. I promise you.”  She caught hold of
Charlotte’s hand and squeezed it tightly, begging her to believe her.

“Okay, I’ll drop the subject, for now, but promise me if
things start to get too much you let one of us know, promise me.” 
Charlotte leaned forward and rested her head against Kerry’s.

Kerry nodded slowly. “I promise, now do you want that cup of
tea?”

“Go on then, but I promised Tom that I’d call and see him at
the shop.”

As she left the room, Kerry heaved a sigh of relief,
grateful for some peace at last.

“Stuart, this is wonderful,” gasped Bets, as she tucked into
her chicken salad.  Stuart had driven them out to the country, with a full
picnic packed into the boot of his car.  “You do know that champagne makes
me very randy don’t you?”  Bets giggled as she picked up her glass.

“That was the plan, although after this morning, I’m not
sure that I could manage to fulfil your every need.”  Stuart leaned over
and kissed her tenderly on the lips, the taste of champagne brushing against
his own.

“So, do you do this for all your girlfriends?” Bets asked,
as she put down her half eaten salad, and snuggled closer to him.

“No, I don’t, only the special ones.  Are you cold,
shall I get a blanket out of the car?”

Bets started to giggle again.  “You really have come
prepared, no, I’m fine,” she replied, pulling her padded coat closer around
her.  “This place is gorgeous, where did you find it?”  She asked, looking
around at the rolling hills covered in beautiful lilac heather. 

Bets closed her eyes, and throwing her head back, took a
deep breath.  The air was cool and fresh, like stepping into a stream, and
she felt relaxed and refreshed.

“I used to come here as a kid with my parents, and my
sister, although we hated it then.  Emma and I thought it was boring, you
know no telly, just fresh air and country smell."

“I bet it was wonderful. My parents never did anything like
that with me. They just took me to the market every Saturday to buy
cheese.  It was kind of a ritual. We would go to the same stall every
week, and the lady behind the counter would offer me a piece to try, then Dad
would say, “We’ll have whatever Elizabeth likes.”  I knew that they never
did, they always bought a little piece for me, but usually the huge chunk was
Stilton.  I’ll never forget the smell of those Saturdays at the market, a
mixture of raw meat and cheese; it was kind of comforting in a funny sort of
way.  When I smelt it, I knew I was always safe because dad was with
me.” 

A tear glistened in Bets' eye as she recalled her father, a
large man with steel grey hair.  Even when Bets was a small child, and he
was a fairly youthful man, his hair had been grey, and as Bets remembered, slicked
back with Brylcream all the time.  As she turned Stuart’s hand over in her
own, she recalled that her dad’s hands had been very big, all calloused from
his work on diesel train engines, seemingly sizable enough to carry anything in
them.

“I think that’s just as good as coming here, if not better,”
whispered Stuart.  “So what were they like, your parents?” he asked,
gently kissing the top of Bet’s head.

She smiled, “Lovely, both were, although I got on better
with my dad.  They were quite old when they had me, well at least those
days they were; Mum was thirty-nine and Dad forty-four, he spoiled me rotten,
but was always honest with me.  Whereas Mum, well my mum was the pacifier,
the one who told me what I wanted to hear.  Nevertheless, I loved them both
dearly, and although I don’t say it very often I really miss them.” She shook
her head to try to stop the sobs growing inside her throat.  “Anyway, what
about you, what are your family like?”  Bets quickly changed the subject.

“Normal really, my sister is great. She holds us all
together, you know organising family dinners and arranging for my dad to
apologise to me or Mum for something a little too honest that he’s said. 
My mum is wonderful, and Dad, but Mum is special, mainly because I’m her little
soldier.”

Bets laughed and ruffled Stuart’s dark hair, making it
messier than it already was. “Ah, are you a mummy’s boy then?”

Stuart nodded.  “Of course, aren’t all boys?”

“I don’t know, not having had a brother. I will have to take
your word for it.”

“Was it strange not having brothers and sisters then?”

“Not really, what you haven’t had you don’t miss.  I
suppose the only time I missed it was when my parents died.  I needed
someone else to take the burden of pain, particularly when Mum died.  When
Dad went, I still had Mum, but even she didn’t know how I felt.  He was my
dad. She could only feel what it was like to lose her husband, so I’m afraid it
wasn’t one of the best times in our relationship, does that make sense?” 
Stuart nodded.  "I know it sounds odd, but I would have liked to have
someone else feel as sad as I did, both times.” 

Stuart hugged her tightly.  “Well that’s all over now,
and I’m going to try to make sure that you never feel sad again.”

Bets kissed him tenderly, sure that he was right, but still
not really wanting to believe it.

It was a bitterly cold morning, and Kerry had begun to wish
that she’d stayed in her nice warm bed.  When she had woken at 6 am, she
was shocked to find her arm draped over Kelvin’s sleeping body; the most
contact they’d had in a long time; it had alarmed her how strange it
felt.  She quickly got out of bed and mumbled where she was going to a
drowsy Kelvin as she hurriedly got dressed.

 As she crunched down the cemetery path she marvelled
at the stillness of the morning.  It was still only 7 am and not a sound
could be heard, except for her footsteps, tranquillity and Kerry felt peaceful
and calm. 

She didn’t really know why she had decided to visit her
dad’s grave, it wasn’t an anniversary or anything. She just felt the need to be
close to him, to talk to him.  He had always understood his youngest
child.  Kerry reached the spot where her father was buried, and sighed
deeply.  She spread her fingers across the gold words that were etched on the
black marble gravestone. How true they were, 'a devoted husband, father and
grandfather truly loved and missed by all that knew him'. She had lost count of
the number of people who told her what a good man he was, and how much they
missed hi.  They didn’t need to tell her, she knew. Kerry bent down and
pulled at some stray weeds that had dared to invade the pristine plot, and
brushed away some fallen leaves, before kneeling down on the damp grass and
closing her eyes.

“Oh Dad, I wish you were here, you’d know what to do with
me,” she sighed now looking at ground. “No one seems to have a clue, they all
just keep moaning on at me.  I know that Kelvin has made at least one
furtive phone call to Charlotte about me, and as for Mum, well she’s made it fairly
obvious that she agrees with everyone else.  They all think I’ve got some
sort of depression. They don’t know anything about me. They all think they do,
but they don’t.” Kerry paused, looking around her, to make sure that her inner
most thoughts would stay between her and her dad.

“Having Esme is the best thing that has happened to me, all
I’ve ever wanted was to be a good wife and mother, and now they are saying I’m
not being.  Kelvin is moaning about me being a rubbish wife, well he
hasn’t actually said those words, but I know that’s what he thinks.  How
do they think I feel when they keep asking me to see a doctor, it’s as though
I’m crazy or something?  I'm waiting for one of them to offer to have Esme
for a couple of days, and then I’ll really go for them.”  The words, a
mass of contradiction, were tumbling out now, gathering momentum like rocks
falling down a mountain. “You would have loved Esme; she looks a bit like you,
except that she’s got Kelvin’s nose. He doesn’t like me spending so much money
either, he keeps saying that we need to cut back, huh, another black mark
against me.  Plus he doesn’t like the company I’m keeping, not Charlotte
or Bets, Caroline the young girl from across the road. I don't know how we got
friendly, but it’s good to be with someone who doesn’t judge me, or tell me how
I should be behaving.  I can't wait to get back to my job; I’m so bored
it’s unbelievable. I don’t want to leave Esme; the thought of it makes me feel
sick; I'd like a new job really, but I don’t know what.” 

In the midst of her jumble of words, Kerry could hear the
town clock, in the distance, chiming the quarter hour.  She stopped
talking and listened to the hollow sound it made in the cold air.  Leaning
back onto her feet, Kerry pushed herself up, suddenly feeling the dampness on
her legs. 

“Bye Dad,” she whispered and kissed her fingers, placing
them against the cold marble.

Kerry walked slowly toward the entrance, enjoying the
solitude, and then as she reached the great iron gates, she recognised the back
disappearing through them. Kerry almost let them go, but thought that she
should call out to them.

“Bets…Bets,” she called, not too loudly.

The figure hesitated for a second after the first call, but then
on the second time, Bets turned around and smiled.

“Hiya, I thought I was the only daft head to come here this
early and in this cold weather.  Have you been to see your dad?”

Kerry nodded. “And you?”

“Hmm, don’t know why I wanted to come today, and at this
unearthly hour, but Stuart had to go into work early, so I thought why
not.  It’s just what you need sometimes, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I suppose so.  How are you anyway?”  Kerry
suddenly realised that she and Bets were talking like practical strangers, not
lifelong friends.

Bets must have also sensed it, because she screwed up her
nose, in the way she always did when she couldn’t understand something. “Err,
okay.  Listen, do you fancy a walk over to the market, for a coffee?”

Kerry smiled as she remembered their teenage days. 
Saturdays spent in the market café, where they drank coffee, because it was
more grown up than Cola or tea, and flirting with all the lads that worked
their Saturday jobs on the stalls. 

“Yeah, that would be great.”

Twenty minutes later they were both warming their hands
around large white mugs of frothy coffee.  Bets smiled at Kerry and nodded
outside towards the huge van parked opposite.  A man got out and, with the
help of a young lad, dropped down the side to reveal an Aladdin’s cave of china
and glass.

“Do you remember that lad, Ricky, I think his name was, that
you had a crush on?  He worked on a stall like that didn’t he?”

“Oh my God, yes I do.  He used to throw the plates up
to the man inside who would stack them, and then try to sell them for about a
pound for the lot.  He’d shout all day at the crowd and call everyone
sugar, even the blokes.”  Kerry smiled broadly at the memory, long gone
days of innocence.

“Hey you never know Kerry, that older bloke could be Ricky,”
laughed Bets, sipping her coffee.

“Nah, Ricky had curly black hair, that fella’ has a ginger
mullet, and I don’t think even Ricky’s taste was that bad to have something
like that done on purpose.”

“Maybe,” Bets sighed, nodding in agreement.

There was a companionable silence for a few minutes, as they
both drank, neither one of them anxious to speak.  After a while, Bets
wanted to talk, but began to wonder what she should talk about.  How Kerry
was feeling was the obvious question, but she didn’t want to spoil the
pleasantness of the early morning.

“Anyway,” she said, taking a deep breath, “what took you to
the cemetery so early?”

Kerry’s mug paused at her lips as she thought.  “I
don’t know really, like you said I, sometimes you just feel as though you need
to be there.  What about you, I can’t remember the last time you
went?  You always say it’s not necessary to go, to remember them.”

“I know. I do go occasionally, but you’re right. I don’t
need to visit a grave to think about Mum and Dad to remember them.  I think
I wanted, well I know I wanted, to tell them about Stuart.  You know, let
them know that I’d met someone nice.”

Kerry’s grin mirrored Bets'.  “So this is the real deal
then?  I know how much he likes you, because he’s told Kelvin?”

Bets moved forward on the leatherette bench, eager to glean
some more details.  “Spill then, what has he said?”

Kerry coloured slightly, she didn’t know exactly, because
when Kelvin had tried to tell her she was too busy ignoring him.  “Oh,
just that he really likes you and hopes that it’s a long-term
thing."  That much she remembered.

“I hope so too, I just hope that I don’t blow it.”

“Why would you?  As long as you don’t start playing
stupid games with him, you know, playing the mean and keen trick.”  Kerry
frowned at Bets; she knew only too well what she could be like with the
opposite sex.

Bets shook her head vigorously as she replied “Ooh no, not
this time.  I’m playing it strictly by the book.  Although it’s
really strange that I actually want it to work.  I’m not sure that I can
get my head around it.”

“I’m glad you do. It's about time you settled down. So
exactly how do you feel about him, is it love?”

Bets thought for a second, and then shrugged her
shoulders.  “I don’t really know. I know I want to be with him all the time,
and that I have a permanently stupid grin across my face, so you tell me.”

“I think it could be getting that way.”  Kerry smiled,
fairly amused at the new softer Bets. “So tell me,” she said, putting down her
mug, “has Charlotte heard from you know who, since his associate appeared in
the office?”  Kerry felt ashamed that she didn’t know herself.  She
couldn’t believe that she hadn’t been on the telephone for hours with
Charlotte, to get all the gossip.

Bets blushed furiously.  “To tell you the truth, I
don’t really know, all we seem to talk about these days is how…” She stopped
herself suddenly, realising that telling Kerry that all they talked about was
her state of mind was not the right way to maintain the ambiance.  “…is
how Stuart and I are getting on.” Bets thought that she had managed to smooth
over her mistake, but could have sworn that Kerry had gritted her teeth for a
split second.  If she had noticed, she didn’t comment.

“I should call her, the last thing she needs is that prick back
in her life.”

Bets nodded, “Hmm; I'm sure she would have said if he had
surfaced.  What time is it?”

“Eight o'clock, have you got to get back?”

“Not really, I’m not working today. It's my Saturday off, do
you fancy doing something?”  Bet’s smile widened, hoping that Kerry would
want some company for a while, as it may help to cheer her up.

“I know it’s really boring, but I wouldn’t mind going over
to that new garden centre for a nosey around.”

Bets wasn’t a gardener, but if it made Kerry happy, then so
be it.  “Okay, that would be good.  No point ringing Charlotte, she’s
going to the match today.”

Kerry was kind of relieved, after their last meeting, even
though it had been fairly amicable.  “Can I just borrow your mobile to
call Kelvin, to tell him what’s happening?”

Bets fished it out of her jacket pocket and handed it to
Kerry.  “There you are, I assume your battery is dead as usual. I'll go
and pay.”

Bets glanced across at Kerry talking into the mobile as she
waited for her change.  Kerry’s brow was furrowed, and she was tapping the
side of her head with her fingertips.  Bets could hear that Kerry's voice
was slightly raised, but then she smiled, although weakly, and said good-bye,
before stabbing at the button to end the call.

“Okay?” Bets asked, as she took the mobile from Kerry.

“Yeah fine, he just worries for nothing,” sighed
Kerry.  Obviously not wanting to say anymore, strode out into the cold
morning.

After an unexpectedly interesting time at the garden centre,
Bets was now back at home, hastily preparing something for her and Stuart to
eat.  She had built up quite an appetite, not only had she trawled around
the vast expanse of plants for nearly two hours, but she had also taken Alfred
on a good long walk.  The curry bubbling away in the pan, was very
welcoming.

“You didn’t have to cook,” said Stuart appearing at the
kitchen doorway.

Bets smiled as she reached up for some plates out of the
cupboard.  “Nonsense, I really didn’t mind, and believe it or not I do
like cooking.  Anyway, it’s the least I could do on our second
anniversary.”  Her grin widened as she planted a kiss on Stuart’s nose.

“Is that a record for you then, two weeks?” Stuart asked, as
he pulled Bets to him, and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Maybe,” she giggled as she pulled away. “Come on, let me
get this finished; the rice is nearly ready.  I hope that you’re hungry, I
think I’ve made a little too much.”

Stuart peered into the pan of curry. “Yes; I am, so pile my
plate high.”

“I’m not giving you too much I want you to be able to move
afterwards.” Bets winked at him as she began to dish up the food.

“Listen, young lady, I need a good night’s sleep. I've got a
very important business meeting tomorrow.”

“Spoil sport!”

Not really watching the film on TV, Bets lay with her head
on Stuart’s chest, playing with his hands and looking at the distance, past the
flashing lights from the television.

“Are you okay?” Stuart asked. “Shall I turn this off,
because I get the feeling that something is troubling you?”

Bets leaned her head back, and looked up at him.  “How
did you know I wasn’t watching the film?”

“Because Brad Pitt has just walked across the screen,
showing his bare arse, and you never flinched.” Stuart laughed, and ruffled her
hair.

“God did I miss that? I was just thinking about Kerry. She
seemed a little better today.”

“Oh that’s good, maybe she’s starting to feel it.  Did
she enjoy the garden centre?”

Bets smiled and gave a little giggle.  She was
surprised how much she had also enjoyed it. “Yes, she did. It was strange, as
we didn’t speak much while we were going around, but she appeared really
calm.  She lost that frown that she’s been wearing a lot lately.”

“Has she opened up any more about her feelings?” Stuart sat
up slightly, and turned off the TV.

“No she hasn’t, I didn’t dare even broach the subject. 
To be honest I didn’t want to spoil the day.”

“Well let’s hope that this is the start of her getting
better then.”  

“Yeah, let’s hope so.  Anyway, don’t you think that it
was about time you got to bed, seeing as you have such a big meeting tomorrow?”

Stuart glanced towards the clock, which was just about to
hit nine pm, and then he saw Bets’ wicked grin. “You are so right it is about
time we got to bed.  I’ll stay here if that’s okay with you?”

Bets nodded, and hauled herself up from the sofa.  “Of
course, I wouldn’t want you to miss a minute of important sleep.”  She
held out her hand, and pulled Stuart up before leading him to the bedroom.