Gut Feeling (5 page)

By lunchtime, there was a thick heat haze across London—a lethal combination of hot sun and car fumes—as they strolled along the pavement towards the high street. Ash adored Marylebone High Street It still had a small-town feel to it, the only place in London that could sometimes make Ash forget she was in the middle of a big city. The people were pleasant and she loved all the shops and the boutiques dotted along the road.

The only thing to remind her that this was the capital was the traffic and the countless people, not to mention the celebrities going about their business. Ash barely ever recognised famous people—she was usually too lost in her own thoughts to notice—but the other nurses used to come back from lunch telling everyone who they had seen out, Liam Gallagher at the cashpoint, or the Beckhams leaving a Harley Street building getting into their four by four with blacked-out windows, or some TV show host—there were plenty if you looked out for them. Ash wasn’t really interested in stardom. She had grown up around more money than she ever really needed. As a child her mum and dad would throw extravagant parties inviting important men from the business world of oil, some low-profile celebrities or their relatives, but mainly suits and politicians.

Ash was never interested in these parties like her sister Kelly was. She would whine at the announcement of the next party and refuse to help her mother and sister prepare the invites or entertainment.

‘Why do I have to help—I’m just a child.’ She would say

‘It will teach you how to be a good host for when you’re an adult. Now go and help your sister design the invites.’ Her mother would insist

Kelly, Ash’s elder sister, would revel in such preparations, making suggestions, helping her mother and the caterers to set their grand table and arrange the flowers. Guests would praise her efforts, inflating her ego. Kelly liked the attention but was not big-headed or pretentious and always looked out for her younger sister, knowing how much Ash didn’t like the attention and so hid at any given opportunity.

Ash never wanted for anything, and still had the financial support of her father. When Ash called America after her break-up with Lee, her father demanded that she come and live with them.

‘Ash, I admire you for staying in England and fighting for something you believe in, but it’s over now. No need to be apart from your family any more.’

After explaining her reasons for still wanting to stay and not leave her friends and her life in London, her father understood. He wanted to help so he paid for Ash to break her rental agreement and bought her a flat off Knightsbridge so she could get away from Lee and make a fresh start.

‘You do what you need to do darling. Your mother and I will always be here if you need us. You know that, don’t you?’

‘Yes Dad, I know.’

She loved her family and missed her sister dearly but wanted to be her own person, prove to everyone that she did not need her big sister looking out for her. She was a grown up and could do it alone.

Ash and Eliza sat outside a small sandwich shop enjoying the lunchtime break, waiting for their food to arrive. It was a humid afternoon. The air was heavy and there was no breeze. A few moments later the coffees arrived on the table. Sitting facing the passers-by, they drank their drinks, relaxing. Cars drove along the high street and the smell of their coffees, wafting into the paths of pedestrians occasionally making them glance at Ash and Eliza as they hurried past. ‘My friend suggested a holiday to Cornwall,’ Ash said, looking across at Eliza.

‘Sounds nice.’

‘I’d rather we all went abroad.’

‘Like where?’

Ash thought for a bit, looking down at her new white sandals. The waitress brought out their baguettes placing them down on the table.

‘Thank you,’ Ash said to the girl as she picked up her coffee. She turned back to Eliza. ‘Ibiza.’

‘Ibiza?’ Eliza echoed.

‘You’re only young once. You know what they say—live your life to the full.’

‘You’re not wrong there, Ash. You go for it and live it for me too. Two kids kind of puts a stop to holidays in Ibiza,’ she added with a laugh.

* * *

That evening after work she went straight home to ring Rachel, Leon and Jules. First she rang Rachel who thought it was a fantastic idea and immediately jumped on the internet for cheap, last-minute deals, finding cheap weeks in clubbing resorts.

Rachel then rang Jules, spending the best part of an hour trying to convince her to join them, but Jules explained that she had just come back from a hot city and did not fancy the sun, sea or sangria much. Meanwhile Ash rang Leon. Much to her disappointment he was less than enthusiastic about the whole thing. Ash’s excitement sank as she listened to the excuses coming from the receiver. She said nothing, just twiddled the phone cord around her fingers, making the right grunts, mmms and ahhs in the right places, pretending to understand when really she couldn’t understand why anyone would rather not go away to a hot island in the sun to eat, drink and dance.

Putting down the phone to Leon, she said out loud to herself ‘Just me and Rachel then.’

Turning to walk into the living room the phone rang and like a gunshot in the distance triggering a thought, she remembered Dave. She had just met a drop-dead gorgeous man and now was planning a holiday away.

Oh
God,
what
if
that’s
him
ringing?

The phone kept ringing.

What
do
I
say?

She couldn’t invite him if it was just her and Rachel. Anyway she hadn’t known him long enough for a holiday with him. The phone rang on and she knew if she didn’t pick it up soon whoever it was would ring off. Snatching the receiver, Ash placed it to her ear warily.

‘Hello?’ Her heart was beating.

‘Hello Ash.’

‘Dave, hi, what a… nice surprise.’ Her heart was beating hard against her chest.

Don’t
say
anything
yet
, she told herself.
Nothing
is
set
in
stone,
it’s
only
an
idea.
Just
be
normal.

‘How’s your day been?’ he asked.

‘Normal… you know, just normal.’

‘Just normal—hey, sounds good.’

There was an awkward silence for a while. Ash tried to act as normal as possible but it was making her sound abnormal. She took a slow breath in, composed herself, pushed all thoughts of a girls’ party holiday out of the window and started again.

‘It was good. I had my normal lunch with Eliza.’

God
no,
did
I
just
say
normal
again?
she thought, then carried on.

‘So what did you do today?’

Ash relaxed after listening to Dave for a few minutes and completely forgot of any hot holiday thoughts. Once again she found herself drawn into his world and it was a feeling she loved.

* * *

A week went past, Rachel came over to Ash’s flat one evening to finalise holiday plans and they agreed to stay in San Miguel, a small port on the coast of Ibiza, leaving in three weeks’ time. Now she had to tell Dave but when?

‘Oh my God, we are
so
going Ash.’

‘I know just me and you, like old times. It’s a shame the others won’t come.’

Rachel walked into Ash’s bedroom and pulled out a small floral dress.

‘If you take this one, can I wear it?’ She held the dresses up to herself, looking in the mirror.

‘I want to look sexy and elegant like you do, Ash.’

‘Only if I can wear your little light blue denim hot pants?’ Ash patted her bottom. ‘I want to look hot and sassy like you.’

Rachel sat back on the bed and tilted her head in thought.

‘I’ve got an idea,’ she finally said. ‘Let’s take a day off work, put all our money together and go shopping for holiday clothes.’

‘Yeah, we could buy one massive suitcase to take together.’

‘Ah,’ Rachel faultered.

‘What’s up?’

‘How would we divide up the clothes once we got back?’

‘Oh yeah, I didn’t think of that,’ said Ash. ‘Come to mention it, with the amount of stuff we would take I doubt we could buy a suitcase big enough.’

‘Oh well, looks like we go back to borrowing each other’s clothes again.’ Rachel beamed as she jumped up off the bed with the floral dress in her hand. ‘Have you told Dave yet?’

‘Er…’

‘Ash—’

‘What, nothing was for certain. I’ll have to tell him now it’s booked though,’ Ash slumped on to the bed.

‘Men too much hassle for me. But you do need to let him know.’ Rachel sat down beside her. ‘What’s the big deal?’

‘What if…’ Ash paused. ‘Well what if he, you know—’

‘Er no, I don’t know, what. What if he… oh… what if he cheats on you while your away?’

Ash nodded.

‘Ash, honey, if he does then he’s a moron. But you can’t put your life on hold for a moron, can you?’ Rachel lifted Ash’s chin and smiled at her. ‘Can you Ash?’

‘No…’

‘Good. Right, let’s have a look at what you’ve got in the way of beachwear.’

Rachel rummaged through Ash’s bikinis, tossing out any old or out-of—fashion garments then cooing over others. She left Ash’s flat on top of the world, bouncing down the steps as she left, waving frantically over her shoulder.

Ash waved her off then went inside. She made some dinner and sat down to eat in front of the TV, thinking of her holiday and how excited she was. Ash remembered her date with Dave tomorrow night. She was going to have to tell him at some point—but at what point was her issue. She just hoped he wouldn’t mind too much. After all, she was a very trustworthy person—he just didn’t know her that well yet. Her mind bounced around his possible responses, her fear was that he would get bored waiting for her and go off with someone else.

She went to bed soon after eating, but there was so much in her head that she couldn’t fall asleep but lay awake, turning from one side to another, thinking of how many bikinis to take; where she would buy her holiday outfits; how much money she would need… Then the thought floated into her head again: how would Dave react? She pondered on not telling him tomorrow night and perhaps doing it next week instead, but got sidetracked on how many sunbeds she could fit in before leaving.

At least an hour went past but still she couldn’t sleep and sat up in bed.

Right,
Missy.
You
will
sleep
, she told herself.

Lying back down, she tried to clear her mind by concentrating on her breathing and after some time she slowly eased into a soft, senseless sleep.

* * *

The evening air was close and there was a faint smell of bonfire smoke in the air. Ash was sitting in front of her mirror, pinning back her long, dark wavy hair. Every style she tried didn’t work so she decided to let it hang loose. She put some hair serum on to her fingers, smelling its sweet liquorice scent then ran her hands through her hair, separating the waves into loose curls. She opened her wardrobe door and pondered on what shoes would go with her small black dress, deciding on the new Manolo Blahnik sandals her Dad had sent over. Looking in the mirror she felt as ready as she would ever be.

Dave had driven to Ash’s and was dead on time. After a brief embrace followed by a kiss, he opened the passenger door for her.

‘Not quite a convertible,’ he joked, holding out a hand to help her inside the small white van.

She smiled. ‘At least it’s clean.’

They drove through the West End over Chelsea Bridge into South London, arriving at Dave’s flat in Wandsworth dead on eight o’clock, just as Dave’s brother was leaving the flat. Dave ushered Ash along the hallway.

‘Pete, mate, you’ve not left yet?’ Dave rolled his eyes and turned to Ash. ‘Ash, this is my brother Peter. Pete, this is Ash.’

‘Hello, Ash, it’s a pleasure.’ Peter looked her up and down.

‘Hello,’ she said with a curious smile, realising that Peter and Dave were twins.

‘Just leaving bruv, have a good one.’ Peter darted out of the flat, slamming the door as he left.

‘You never said he was your twin brother,’ Ash exclaimed.

‘I know, I never do. I had some fun when I was younger with girls that had no idea I was Pete’s twin. Now I just don’t think to point it out—habit. Here, take a seat. I’ll get you a drink.’

Dave led her into the front room then left to fetch a drink from the kitchen. He had already set a table for dinner; it was dressed with a white embroidered tablecloth, silver cutlery and crystal wineglasses. Ash smiled to herself then bent down to smell the red roses set as the centrepiece, Dave walked back in the room with the drinks and caught sight of Ash bending over. He smiled to himself, pleased with the fact that she had taken note of his efforts, but also delighted that her little black dress had just got a lot smaller. She stood upright, quickly turning to face him, feeling his presence.

‘You like it?’ He walked over to give her the glass.

‘Thank you—yes, you set a lovely table.’

‘Only the best for someone like you.’ Looking into her eyes he leaned in to kiss her gently on the lips. He smelt and felt so manly but his touch was soft. He tipped her head back and pressed his lips to hers.

At dinner they sat opposite each other with a view of the streets below, watching the day drawing to an end and the twilight setting. Ash felt happy inside, like she had been as a child sitting around the camp fire on her first school trip. It was nice to have a man going to so much effort just for her. It was refreshing not to be with someone like Lee whom would have had a caterer in to set the table and cook the food, he would have had the caterers running around after him, droning on about boarding school in Sweden, and how privileged he had been to have had such an upbringing. After that would have come the rugby talk and finally father’s brilliant law firm.