Gut Feeling (7 page)

‘Oh bugger off,’ she shouted, letting it ring. Not now she thought. Of all the times to start messing with her head, now was not one of them. Her feelings for Lee hadn’t completely subsided and he still tugged at her heartstrings. She knew in time he would be a distant memory but for now he was a painful hangover.

At least two hours had passed. She found herself stuck behind a tractor on a small twisty country lane, her head pounding with stress after the motorway drive. She reached inside her bag to find her cigarette case whilst she sat in another queue of slow-moving traffic. At least the surroundings were more calming this time. There was no point in rushing as she wouldn’t be any use to Rachel if she arrived stressed, she told herself.

The rest of the journey was relatively easy, the sun was beating down on her shoulders and face, soothing her emotions a little; the pain was still raw and she still wished Mary was alive, but tried to remind herself of all the good times they had had. She got close to Downton where Rachel’s grandparents lived and decided to stop in a small pub for a drink first.

Sitting on the grass in the pub garden with a glass of orange juice, she looked around; there were horses in the adjacent field grazing on the grass. She tried to clear her mind again, taking a long deep breath in. She wondered what Dave was doing now and pulled out her phone. She tried to call but it went to his voicemail. Deciding not to leave a message, Ash put her phone away. She lay back on the grass, closing her eyes and listening to the birds and the sounds of the countryside which she hadn’t heard for so long, before she resumed the rest of her journey.

Ash arrived at Rachel’s grandparents an hour later. She took a deep breath as she drove up the long shingled bendy driveway to the house. She noticed they still had the wooden swinging chair she loved as a child situated in the same place, motionless on the front lawn.

She parked and walked around the outside of the house to the rear. The garden and garden furniture had changed from the last time she had been there; she stood looking over a new patio with sun chairs and a dark wooden table set. There was a water feature beside her, a fountain trickling into some kind of odd-shaped cylinder, then back out the top, to start the cycle again. She remembered Rachel telling her that Robert and Mary redecorated the house when the kids in the neighbourhood had stopped coming round so much. Ash stood looking out over the garden down to the far end; she could still see the horse stables with Tarquini grazing in his field. Turning, she noticed fresh drinks on the table so she wandered inside to find everyone.

Stepping into the back dining room through the French doors she looked around at the newly painted walls; even though it had changed it still felt the same old house. There was the same grand piano in the corner, and the armchairs may have been new but placed back in the same place as the old ones stood, same brick fireplace, new mirror above it but again in the same place where the old one hung before.

Same
room
just
modernised
, thought Ash, smiling to herself. She walked into the hallway hearing a noise. She looked up to see an old collie running towards her.

‘Saber… Hello boy.’ She bent down, rubbing her hands all over his coat then burying her face in his fur. ‘Where are they, boy?’

Standing up, Saber ran off into the front room. Ash followed but no one was in there. He picked up a ball, dropping it at her feet.

‘Later boy, later,’ she said, looking out of the window to her car. It was then she realised her car was the only car there; they must have gone out somewhere.

Couldn’t
have
gone
far
, she thought.
The
house
is
unlocked
.

She brought her stuff in from the car with Saber at her heel, still like a puppy wanting to play. He must be nearing the end off his little life, she thought. She took her things up to Rachel’s room where she used to sleep, finding the same old single beds on either sides of the room. To her delight the big old doll’s house in the corner was still intact: their room hadn’t been touched; it was as if she could hear the sound of Rachel and her giggling as a children.

Saber didn’t quite know what to do with himself; from behind her she could hear his tail banging against the door as he waited with his ball in his mouth, saliva dripping from the corners of his jaws.

‘Oh come on then, boy. Down we go,’ she said, clapping her hands.

She followed him out to the front lawn, throwing the ball for him as she sat on the swinging chair.

Dogs
, she thought,
they
never
grow
up
or
run
out
of
energy.
Still
the
same
old
young
puppy
at
heart.

‘Hello.’

A voice from behind made her jump. Turning around, Ash had to do a double take to be sure.

‘Gemma Collingridge!’ Ash said, with a surprised grin, eyeing her old school friend. Gemma gave Ash a huge hug, stepping back to look her up and down. Ash did the same, taking in the blonde shoulder-length hair instead of the long brown locks Ash remembered.

‘You look great, Ash.’

‘So do you, Gems. I’m so glad you’re here.’

Taking her hand Ash led her around to sit on the swinging chair. She asked about the village and if she had seen Mary recently.

‘I moved back to the village two years ago, after I broke up with Steve. I was going to divorce him.’ Gemma’s smile faded as she looked at the floor. ‘He cheated on me with a girl from the gym. I tried to stay with him but it didn’t work so I moved home.’ She looked at Ash then smiled. ‘But he begged and I went back to him—silly really as he cheated on me with her again.’

‘No!’

‘Yeah, so I’ve been back for six months. The divorce is through and I’m a single woman again.’

‘I’m sorry, Gem, same kind of thing happened to me. Men are all pigs.’ Ash swallowed. ‘Did you see much of Mary before she—’ She felt a lump in her throat.

‘Mary was a real pillar for me when I came home the first time. I sat with her every evening after work, drinking tea and eating biscuits. I would cry and she would rub my back then hand me another biscuit.’

Ash laughed. ‘That sounds right, Mary’s answer to any problem.’

‘Umm.’ Gemma tilted her head at the memory. ‘Then the second time I came home she supplied me with the same but you could tell she was getting weaker. She caught a cold and—’

‘I know.’

‘My mum and dad moved away last year—did you know?’

‘No. Where have they gone?’

‘Jersey.’ Gemma rolled her eyes ‘They bought a B&B. They want me to help run it with them.’

‘I take it you don’t want to.’

‘Ash
please
. No way, a B&B at my age?’ Gemma laughed and pushed her feet into the ground, making the chair swing slightly ‘Mum and Dad are coming over for the funeral.’

‘Are they? Be nice to see them again. Just wish it was under different circumstances. So where are you living?’

‘Here.’

‘Here, with Robert?’

‘Yeah, Mary insisted I stayed. I think she wanted to make sure I didn’t go back to Steve again—plus Mum and Dad had sold the house and moved so I kinda didn’t have anywhere to go.’

‘Mary never mentioned it—’

‘I know. I told Rachel last night that I asked Mary and Robert not to tell anyone until I was back on my feet. You and Rach have done so well for yourselves I just wish I could compete. It was bad enough I chose married life at the age of twenty over moving to London with you two but to then have it all go wrong… I just didn’t want you both to think badly of me.’

‘Oh don’t be daft. You should have kept in touch. God, so much has happened. How did we lose touch so easily?’

‘I know it was my fault. I never called anyone once the wedding was over. It was like I turned into a fifty-year-old housewife over night. I was so obsessed with making Steve happy I forgot to make myself happy.’

‘Your wedding was the last time I saw you. God, we were all drunk that night. Did you know Rachel shagged Tom Kimpton in the bushes?’

‘
No
way!
’

‘Yeah and after you left for the honeymoon we sneaked into the hotel pool and went skinny-dipping. Well, Tom and Rachel did—I just dipped, you know me. And we got caught.’

‘
No
way!
’

‘Yeah, Rachel and Tom blamed it on me—said I told them it was allowed. Some may have believed us if we hadn’t all been so badly drunk. My mum made me write a letter of apology.’

‘Oh. My. God. Why didn’t I call you guys!’

Ash laughed. ‘Don’t beat yourself up over it. We should have called you too. Anyway we’re back in touch now.’

‘Yeah and this time I’ll call.’ Gemma hugged Ash.

‘And we will call you too.’ Ash reciprocated.

‘Still hurts like hell when I think about him with her and I know I shouldn’t be selfish but I wish Mary was here to listen to me moan on about it all.’

‘I’m sure she can still hear you, sweetie, and anyway you can moan to me now.’

* * *

‘How much stuff does she have?’

Dave looked at the boxes of shoes and books, bending down to pick up a giant pink fluffy pen from one of the boxes. He raised his eyebrows in shock of what he had let himself in for.

‘I thought she was into football and Indian food,’ he said, looking at Peter and passing him the pen.

‘Thank you,’ Isabella said, taking the pen out of Peter’s hand as she walked on down the hallway to her new room.

Peter shot Dave an icy look then walked after her. ‘He’s touchy about new people. Always has been ever since he was a kid,’ he said, standing in her doorway.

‘I’ll bear that in mind,’ Isabella smiled sardonically.

Dave sat down in the living room finishing of his lunch before heading back to work. He still hadn’t told Ash about Isabella moving in. ‘No time like the present,’ he said out loud, picking up his phone.

But as he listened, he felt helpless: she talked about Mary so fondly and sounded soft and fragile but was trying to put on a strong voice. They talked for a good thirty minutes; it was comfort enough for her to know that he was at the end of the phone if she needed a chat. Dave put down the phone, still wanting to tell her about Isabella but now just wasn’t the right time.

‘Who was that?’ Dave heard Peter ask from outside the room.

‘Ash—she’s gone away for a few days.’

Peter emerged from the hallway. ‘Where’s she gone?’

‘Had a bereavement,’ Dave got up, not finishing his sandwich.

‘Did you tell her about our new roomy?’

‘Not the time to, brov. See you later.’ Dave grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

That night Dave, Peter and Isabella got a takeaway with some beers. They all sat around the table finding out about each other. Isabella was swiftly turning into anything far from an angel and Peter was soaking it all up with glee. Dave started to warm to her: she wasn’t so bad, easy-going and he was sure Ash would like her. She was pretty with long dark wavy hair, but she just didn’t have the same elegance as Ash. Later, they all agreed to go out to a few bars around the area to show Isabella the night life—the idea obviously was Peter’s and Dave took it for granted that his twin would be hoping to get to know Isabella with a few drinks in her.

‘Just remember she’s living with you, bruv. There’s no “one knob and gone” in this situation,’ Dave warned Peter as they stood outside the flat waiting for Isabella.

Moments later she appeared in the doorway, looking great, long dark curly hair falling over her bare shoulders and trying to reach her Latino legs. She hurried down the large stone steps to join them. Isabella’s old home seemed a hundred miles away as she took in her new surroundings, warming to her flatmates.

Peter and Isabella sat talking while Dave got the drinks at the bar. Soon Dave was placing them down on the table, the room all but empty apart from the three of them and the young bar girl dressed in black who was now pouring unfinished beverages away then stacking them into the glass washer. Dave looked round the overlit room, feeling a slight breeze from the open door before sitting down.

‘So… why, Wandsworth, Issi?’ said Dave. ‘I can call you Issi, right?’

‘Yeah I don’t mind—I like the name Issi. I moved to be closer to work and I fancied meeting a new circle of people.’ Isabella sipped on her straw then stirred her cocktail, giving a soft smile as she carried on. ‘I had a boyfriend that turned out to be a bit of a dick and thought it would be easier on him if he didn’t have to bump into me any more.’

‘That’s big of you.’ Peter’s eyes widened, knowing there must be something behind that reason. ‘Come on there’s more to it. What did you do—sleep with his best mate?’

‘No…’

‘His best mate’s sister?’

‘You wish. My ex is in prison at the moment and I don’t want him bumping into me when he is out!’ Isabella sat back with a smug look on her face. wondering what they would make of that.

A stumped Peter broke the silence. ‘So in other words, you, don’t want to bump into him.’

Issi laughed. ‘I suppose so—a bit.’

‘So what did he do?’ Dave asked, lowering his eyebrows.

‘OK. Get ready… my ex, Tony, was having bother with some guys, so he thought the best way to deal with it would be to scare them—’ She gave a snigger then carried on. ‘So anyway… he went around to their house with an airgun.’

Peter and Dave looked at each other, and then back at Issi.

‘The guys were a lot bigger than Tony and just took the airgun out of his hand. He told me he just froze and let them take him. They shot him in the leg with his own gun then called the police and told them that Tony had held them all hostage, and when they tried to escape there was a struggle and he got shot!’

Isabella picked up her drink, taking a sip, looking over the top of her glass at the reactions on their faces.