“For you,” Hanna corrected. “And even so, he is just a
boy with a valiant heart. How can the strength of one man
stand against Jake and an army of demons?”
“He can,” I countered, “if he has the power of Heaven on
his side. After al , Christ was a man.”
“He was also the Son of God, there’s a difference.”
“Do you think they could have crucified him if he wasn’t
human?” I asked. “He was flesh and blood, just like Xavier.
You’ve been here so long you underestimate the power of
humans. They’re a force of nature.”
“Forgive me, miss, if I cannot hope as you do,” Hanna
said humbly. “I don’t want to raise my dreams out of the
dust only to have them cut down. Can you understand that?”
“Yes, Hanna, I can,” I said at last. “That’s why if you don’t
mind, I’l hope enough for the both of us.”
I thought about Hanna’s story for a long time after she left.
Although I wanted desperately to go and check on Venus
Cove, I couldn’t free my mind. It remained stuck on Hanna
and the hardships of her young life. I thought about how little
I real y understood about human suffering. What I knew
about the blackest episodes in human history was nothing
but cold hard facts. Human experience was so much more
complex. There was probably a lot more I could learn from
Hanna than I’d realized.
There was one thing I did know; Hanna had made a
mistake. But she had expressed regret and she was sorry
for her actions. If she was destined to live beneath the
ground for the rest of eternity, then there was something
wrong with the system. Surely Heaven couldn’t stand by and
let such corruption go unpunished.
Vengeance is mine,
saith the Lord. I will repay.
Hanna was wrong. Heaven
would seek justice. I just had to be patient.
13
Speak of the Devil
I had no idea what time it was in Venus Cove, but I kept
imagining Xavier’s bedroom with its sports paraphernalia
and lopsided piles of textbooks on the carpet. For some
reason that’s where I most wanted to go. The thought of
being in his room surrounded by his things made my heart
race with longing. Where was Xavier right at this very
moment? Was he happy or sad? Was he thinking about
me? One thing I knew with certainty was that Xavier
possessed the kind of decency that made heroes out of
mortals. He had never abandoned his friends in times of
need and he wasn’t about to abandon me now.
I felt cold and saw that the embers in the grate were
dying. I reached for the wine-colored throw draped over the
foot of my bed and wrapped myself in it. The candles were
burned almost to the wick and cast strange elongated
shadows across the wal s.
Having decided that I would not be left to languish in
Jake’s airless kingdom somehow made me feel calmer. As
soon as I felt the first waves of sleep, I focused my energy
on reconnecting with Xavier in my mind. My body grew
heavier and yet I felt an indescribable lightness. It was not
possible to pinpoint the exact moment of scission, when
matter and spirit chose to fol ow different paths, but I knew it
was happening the minute the details of my hotel room
blurred and suddenly the plaster rose on the ceiling was in
front of my nose. Al I had to do then was al ow myself to
drift.
As I drifted, like a humming vibration, I travel ed through
time and space and over water until I reached my final
resting place. I was standing in Xavier’s bedroom. I didn’t
land there so much as blow in like a wind under the door.
Xavier had thrown himself ful length across his bed and
was lying on his stomach, face buried in the pil ow. He
hadn’t even bothered to take off his shoes. On the floor a
hefty volume of the Princeton Review’s
Best 371 Colleges
lay abandoned. His mom, Bernie, had arranged a copy for
me too—insisting we both had to make a list of our top ten
choices. I smiled at the memory, recal ing the conversation
Xavier and I had had only days before the Hal oween party.
We’d been lying on the south lawn taking turns reading
aloud the most interesting statistics about our short-listed
schools.
“We’re going to the same col ege, right?” he’d asked, but
it was more of a statement than a question.
“I hope so,” I replied. “But I guess it depends on whether
they
want to station me somewhere else.”
“
They
can just butt out. No more ifs, Beth,” Xavier said.
“We tel them what we want now. We’ve been through
enough to have earned that right.”
“Okay,” I said and meant it. I took the hefty volume from
him and flipped causal y through the pages.
“What about Penn State?” I asked, trailing my finger
down the index.
“Are you kidding? My parents would have a combined
coronary.”
“Why? What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s known as a party school.”
“I thought the choice was up to you.”
“It is, but that doesn’t mean they’re not rooting for Ivy
League. Or at least somewhere like Vanderbilt.”
“University of Alabama?” I asked. “Mol y and the girls
have applied there. They want to be sorority sisters.”
“Another three years with Mol y?” Xavier wrinkled his
nose teasingly.
“I like the sound of Ole Miss,” I said dreamily. “What do
you think? Oxford would be just like here, our own little
world.”
Xavier smiled. “I think I like that idea. And it’s close to
home. Put it on the list.”
The conversation replayed itself in my head as if it had
happened yesterday. Now, here was Xavier, slumped on
his bed, al plans for the future abandoned. He flipped over
to lie on his back, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. He
looked lost in thought and his face showed visible signs of
exhaustion. I knew him wel enough to be able to read his
mood. He was thinking:
What now? What do I do now?
What more can I do?
Xavier’s rational side was very
strong. It was the reason so many people brought their
problems to him. Even students he didn’t know very wel
would come to him for advice on which AP class to take or
what sport to try out for. Whatever the question they rarely
walked away disappointed. Xavier had this uncanny ability
to examine a problem from al angles at once. In fact, the
tougher the problem, the more determined he was to solve
it. Except the one facing him now floored him completely.
This time it didn’t matter how many angles he considered it
from. He had no answers and I knew it was kil ing him.
Helpless was not something Xavier was accustomed to
feeling.
I thought of al the things I so badly wanted to whisper to
him.
Don’t worry
.
We’ll work this out. We always do. We’re
invincible, remember?
It felt strange, our roles being
suddenly reversed. This time it was my job to try and get
Xavier through. I wil ed myself forward so I was hovering just
inches away from his face. His eyes were half open, slivers
of sky, but melancholy, missing their usual bril iance. His
light walnut-colored hair fel across the pil ow and his lashes
glistened with unshed tears. The wave of emotion that hit
me was so strong I almost had to turn away. Xavier was
never like this. His eyes were ful of life even when he was
being serious. He could brighten a room just by entering it.
This was the senior class president of Bryce Hamilton;
respected and loved by the entire school population. He
was the one person nobody ever spoke a bad word
against. I hated seeing him so defeated.
A tentative tapping at Xavier’s door startled me so much
I flew across the room, generating a rush of wind that
almost overturned a chair, but Xavier barely seemed to
notice. A few moments later, the door opened a crack and
Bernie stuck her head into the room. She looked
apologetic for interrupting his privacy, but as soon as she
saw her son lying listlessly on the bed, concern flooded her
face. She covered it quickly with feigned cheerfulness. I
could see in her expression her love for Xavier and her
intense desire to protect him. He looked so beautiful he
could have been an angel himself, but so profoundly sad, it
frightened me.
“Can I get you anything?” Bernie asked. “You hardly
touched your dinner.”
“No, thanks, Mom.” Xavier’s voice was flat and lifeless. “I
just need some sleep.”
“What’s going on with you, honey?” Bernie inched toward
the bed and tentatively sat down. She looked wary; worried
that invading the space of her troubled teenage son might
not be the wisest idea. Xavier’s unresponsiveness told her
he wanted to be alone. “I’ve never seen you like this before.
Is it girl trouble?”
I realized his mother had no idea what’d happened. He
hadn’t told her I was missing. I guessed it was because
she’d want to contact the sheriff, demand to know why they
weren’t investigating my disappearance more thoroughly.
“You could say that,” Xavier said.
“Oh, wel , these things have a way of sorting themselves
out.” She laid a hand gently on his shoulder. “And you know
your father and I are always here if you need us.”
“I know that, Mom. Don’t worry about me. I’l be fine.”
“Don’t take it so hard,” Bernie said. “When you’re young
everything feels a hundred times worse than it is. I don’t
know what happened between you and Beth, but it can’t be
so bad.”
Xavier let out a short, humorless laugh and I guessed
what he was thinking. He wanted to say, “Wel , Mom, my
girlfriend was abducted by a demon ex-student of Bryce
Hamilton and dragged into Hel on the back of a motorbike
and right now we’ve got no idea how to bring her back. So,
yeah, actual y it is that bad.”
But instead he shifted his weight to look across at her.
“Just let it go, Mom,” he said. “This is my problem. I’l be
okay.”
I could see in his eyes that he didn’t want to worry her. My
family was already beside themselves; there was no sense
in getting Bernie involved. The less she knew, the better for
everyone. My disappearance wasn’t an easy thing to
explain and not exactly the news you’d want to break to an
overprotective parent just before you were due to take your
SATs.
“Okay.” Bernie leaned down to kiss his forehead. “But,
Xavier, hon …”
“Yeah?” He looked up but couldn’t hold her gaze.
“She’l be back.” Bernie gave him a knowing smile.
“Everything wil work out fine.” Then she got up and slipped
out the door, closing it softly behind her.
When she was gone, Xavier final y al owed his
exhaustion to overcome him. He kicked off his shoes and
rol ed onto his side. I was glad that soon he would fal into a
deep sleep and the torment of feeling so helpless would
disappear, at least for a few hours. Just before physical
exhaustion took over his body I saw him rummage under
his pil ow and withdraw something I recognized
immediately as one of my cotton knit sweaters. I’d worn it a
lot over the summer on cool evenings. It was a pale aqua
color and had tiny daisies embroidered around the
neckline. He said he liked the way it brought out the auburn
streaks in my hair. Xavier pushed his pil ow aside and
buried his face in my sweater, inhaling deeply. He stayed
that way a long time until his breathing changed and