Gabriel sighed and replied as patiently as he could.
“There are laws that govern Heaven and Hel that have
existed since the beginning of time.”
“What is that even supposed to mean?”
“I think what Gabe is trying to say is that we don’t make
the rules. We have to wait for instructions,” Ivy said.
“Wait?” echoed Xavier, growing more frustrated at their
lack of resolve. “You can wait til doomsday if you like, but I
don’t plan to just sit around.”
“We don’t have a choice,” said Gabriel sternly. They
could not have been more different, angel and mortal,
polarized by their opposing views of the universe. Gabriel, I
could see, was losing patience. Xavier’s incessant
questions were draining him. He longed for solitude in
order to commune with the powers above. Xavier on the
other hand was not going to feel better until he was offered
a plan of action. He was applying the rules of logic that
state for every problem a solution can be found. Ivy, who
was much more aware of Xavier’s emotional state than
Gabriel, gave my brother a look that suggested he should
tread careful y.
“Rest assured, if there’s a way, we wil find it,” she said
more encouragingly.
“It won’t be easy,” Gabriel qualified.
“But not impossible, right?” I could sense that Xavier was
clutching desperately to any hope, however slim.
“No, not impossible,” my sister said with a smal smile.
“I want to help,” said Xavier.
“And you can, but right now we need to consider our next
move very careful y.”
“Rushing in without thinking could make things worse for
Bethany,” Gabriel warned.
“How could it get any worse?” Xavier demanded.
The more I listened to their deliberations the more
frustrated I became. I wanted to be part of their discussions
and I wanted to help them. It was strange being talked
about in the third person when I was right there in the room.
If only I could share with them what I knew, it might help
them devise a more effective plan. Being both present and
utterly useless grew so maddening that I thought I’d
explode. There must be some way to make my presence
known to them. How could they not sense my proximity?
Those I loved most were a hand’s breadth away and yet
total y inaccessible.
“We can’t act independently of instruction,” Ivy tried to
placate.
“And how long is that gonna take?’
“The Covenant is aware of the crisis. They wil contact us
when they see fit.” Gabriel refused to disclose more.
“What do we do til then?”
“I suggest we pray.”
Suddenly I was worried. It was obvious they couldn’t act
without first seeking counsel. It was not only standard
practice but also the wisest thing to do. I could see that. But
what would the Covenant advise? Gabriel had sounded so
confident moments ago, but even he did not have the
power to contravene their decisions. What if in their infinite
wisdom they decided to cut their losses? After al , I hadn’t
been much of an asset when I was aboveground. I was
forever stirring up trouble and creating conflicts for them to
solve rather than fol owing instructions. Obedience was not
my strong point and while rebel ion was expected in a
human, in an angel it was inexcusable. Would this trait that
had set me apart from my own kind now spel the end of my
value in Heaven?
Even if the Covenant was feeling charitable and deemed
me worthy of rescue, breaking into Hel would be the
greatest chal enge my siblings had ever had to face. It was
quite likely they themselves might perish in the attempt.
Was that risk worth taking? I didn’t want to jeopardize their
safety, but at the same time my longing to be reunited with
them was enormous. As for Xavier, I couldn’t bear the
thought of any harm coming to him on my account. I’d rather
endure the torments of the pit before I’d al ow that to
happen. I looked at his smooth, tanned arms resting on the
tabletop, the familiar cord of soft plaited leather twined
around his wrist, and the silver ring I’d given him shining on
his index finger. I strained toward him, my fingers seeking
his.
“Xavier!” I cried. “Xavier, I’m here!”
To my surprise I heard a faint echo of my own words in
the room. Gabriel, Ivy, and Xavier al snapped their heads
in my direction like satel ites seeking radio signals. An
expression of disbelief crossed Xavier’s face, as if his
sanity had just been cast into doubt.
“Am I losing it or did you guys hear that too?”
My brother and sister looked at each other, uncertainty
on their faces.
“We heard it,” said Gabriel, his mind already whirring as
he contemplated possible explanations for what’d just
happened. I hoped he didn’t assume it was a demon
playing tricks on them.
Ivy closed her eyes and I felt her energy in the room,
searching for me. But when she reached the place where I
hovered, she passed right through me and I realized that
any connection I’d made had lasted only seconds and then
shattered.
“There’s nothing here,” my sister said, but I could see she
was unsettled.
Xavier was unconvinced. “No, I heard her voice … she
was here.”
“Perhaps Bethany is closer than we realize,” said
Gabriel.
Xavier’s eyes darted around the room, searching the air.
I focused hard and tried desperately to transmit my
thoughts to him. Instead the opposite happened and my
presence in the room became diluted. I felt my
consciousnesses pul ing away from the familiar kitchen at
Byron. I fought hard against leaving and even tried
wrapping myself around the back of a chair, but the room
only dissolved around me.
Everything went black, and when the blackness cleared, I
saw my body lying by the Lake of Dreams, just as I’d left it.
Tucker was there, shaking me by the shoulders.
“Come back, Beth. It’s time to come back.” I returned to
my body with a jolt. Al of Byron’s warmth was gone,
replaced with the cold and damp of the canal.
“Why did you do that?” I protested loudly. “I wanted more
time.”
“We can’t be missing any longer. It’s too risky. But don’t
worry, the magic wil stay with you now.”
“Are you saying I can project anytime I want to?”
“Yep,” Tucker said proudly. “Once a person drinks from
the Lake of Dreams, it flows inside you. It shares its power.
You can only reverse it by drinking from the river Lethe.”
“That real y exists?” I asked curiously.
“Sure does,” Tucker said. “It literal y means ‘oblivion.’
Some people cal it the River of Forgetfulness. It makes you
forget who you are.”
“That sounds awful. Is it cursed?”
“Not necessarily,” Tucker said. “Some people have done
things in their lives they don’t want to remember. When you
drink from the river Lethe, al your bad memories sink to the
bottom.”
I peered at him closely. “You sound pretty sure of
yourself. Do you know someone who’s done it?”
“Yeah.” Tucker looked at his shoes. “That’d be me.”
“What were you trying to escape?” I asked without
thinking and Tucker laughed.
“Not much point asking me that now, is there?”
“I guess not,” I said, taking his arm. “I’m glad the river
made things easier for you.”
Tucker squeezed my hand, but he didn’t look convinced.
We made our way back to the hotel at twice the speed at
which we’d set out, fearful of being discovered. Al I could
think about was Xavier’s hands, not tense as I’d just seen
them but stroking my face the way he used to when we felt
that al the darkness in the world could not dampen our
happiness.
How naive we were to think as we did then. I knew now
how lethal darkness could be. It would take every ounce of
courage we possessed to fight it. Even then I didn’t like our
chances.
12
Hanna’s Story
AFTER my first try at what Tucker cal ed projection, it was
hard to think about anything else. Now that I’d had a taste of
home, Hotel Ambrosia seemed emptier than ever. As the
days passed I found myself going through the motions
without complaint, eagerly awaiting the next opportunity to
return to Venus Cove and keep up with what was
happening there. So when Hanna was brushing my hair or
fussing over me my mind was conspiring to achieve my
only goal: seeing Xavier again. When Tucker was keeping
vigil I was counting down the minutes until he final y went to
bed and I was free to roam again the place where I
belonged, even if it was only as an unseen entity.
Tucker was better at reading my thoughts than I realized.
“It’s addictive, ain’t it?” he said. “At first you can’t get
enough.” I couldn’t deny it. Being transported back to Byron
had given me a rush greater than any I’d experienced.
“It felt so real. I was so close I could smel them.”
Tucker watched me closely. “You should see your face. It
lights up when you talk about them.”
“That’s because they’re everything to me.”
“I know, but there’s somethin’ you need to keep in mind.
Every time you go back they’ve moved on a little with their
lives. In time their pain dul s and you become a fond
memory. In the end you feel like nothin’ but a ghost visiting
strangers.”
“It would never be like that for me.” I glared at Tucker. The
thought of Xavier moving on was unbearable and I refused
to so much as entertain the idea. “Besides, aren’t you
forgetting something? I’m not a ghost. I happen to be alive.
See?” I gave my arm a decent pinch and watched a blotch
of red appear on the white skin. “Ouch!”
Tucker smiled a little at my demonstration. “You want to
go again right now, don’t you?”
“Of course. Wouldn’t you?”
“Have you always been this impatient?”
“No,” I replied tartly. “Only as long as I’ve been human.”
Tucker frowned and I wondered whether he doubted my
ability to use this new gift responsibly. I decided to try and
ease his mind.
“Thanks again for showing me, Tuck. I needed something
to help me survive in this place and seeing my family again
meant so much.”
Tucker, who was unaccustomed to praise, looked
abashed and shuffled his feet on the carpet.
“You’re welcome,” he mumbled. Then his face clouded.
“Please be careful. I don’t know what Jake would do if he
ever found out.”
“I’l be careful,” I agreed. “But I’m going to find a way to
get us out.”
“Us?” he repeated.
“Of course. We’re a team now.”
TUCKER had figured right. I did plan to go back that very
night. The taste of home I’d been given had only whet my
appetite, not satisfied it. I wasn’t lying when I told him I was
going to try and get us out, but it wasn’t uppermost on my
mind at that moment. My impulse was far more self-
indulgent than that. I just wanted to see Xavier again and
pretend that nothing had changed. Whatever he was doing,
I wanted to be there beside him. I wanted to absorb as
much of his presence as I could and take it back with me. It
would act like a talisman to get me through the interminably
long days and nights ahead.
So when Hanna appeared in the doorway carrying my
supper on a tray, my first impulse was to send her away. I
was anxious to climb into my oversize bed and start the
process that would send me home again. Hanna looked at
me the way she always did, like she wished there was
more she could do to help. Even though she was younger