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Authors: Dick King-Smith

BOOK: Hairy Hezekiah
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As darkness fell, the rangers came to take the camel back to his shed.
“Hezekiah!” they called, and at the sound of his name, he came immediately to them like a well-trained dog, while the zebras, the ostriches, and the giraffes watched.
“Wow! He's obedient!” said the zebras.
“Knows his name,” said the ostriches.
The giraffes, of course, said nothing.
Hezekiah talked to the rangers as they went down the road. “Pretty tiring day I've had,” he said. “Those people kept making me stand here and go there while they pointed things at me and at my friend in his funny clothes. I'll be glad to get to bed.”
But before he did, his friend came into the shed to wish him good night. Lord Basin was carrying some bananas and he was about to peel one when the camel took it gently out of his hand and swallowed it, skin and all. Five more bananas went the same way, and then Hezekiah sank to his horny kneepads. “Thanks, my friend,” he said, “and now if you'll excuse me, I'll get some sleep. I've had a busy day.”
In answer to all his rumbles, Lord Basin said, “Get some sleep, old fellow, you've had a busy day.”
A pretty successful day too, said the Earl to himself as he went back into the great house of Shortseat. Hezekiah got on well with the other beasts, and I should think the film people are pleased with their footage.
As he lay in bed that night, clad in purple silk pajamas, his red nightcap on his head, he suddenly thought that he should have tried to ride the camel. That would have looked good on film! he said to himself. But would Hezekiah let
me sit on him? he thought. I'm a lot bigger now than when I last had a ride on a camel. Ah well, there's only one way to find out.
Thus it was that next morning when the rangers came to the shed, they did not lead Hezekiah out along the road to his enclosure. Instead they took him into a stable yard, at one side of which was a stone mounting block. Standing on this while a horse was led up and stood beside it, it was easy for a rider to step off the block and straddle his steed.
Today the steed was not going to be a horse but (hopefully) a camel. As Hezekiah was led up to the mounting block, he saw that, standing on it, was his friend, wearing riding breeches and those yellow stockings and various other bright pieces of clothing.
“Now, Hezekiah, old chap,” his friend said, “I wonder if you will do me a favor?”
He put out a hand to the camel, who gave it that rubbery kiss.
“I shall be so much obliged,” said Lord Basin (for politeness costs nothing), “if you'll let me sit on you.”
“Tell you what, my friend,” said Hezekiah in reply. “Why don't you sit on me and I'll give you a ride?”
What with the kiss and the amiable noises that his camel was making, the Earl felt confident enough to throw a yellow-stockinged leg over the beast's back.
Hezekiah stood as still as a rock.
Then Lord Basin hoisted himself up off the mounting block and sat himself on the broad hairy back, in between the two hairy humps.
Hezekiah did not move.
Lord Basin looked down at his rangers and grinned all over his hairy face.
“How about that, eh?” he said to them.
“Splendid, my Lord,” they said. “Shall we lead him on?”
“No, don't bother with the ropes. Just walk on either side of me and then you can open the gate when we arrive.” To Hezekiah he said, “Walk on!”
Being by far the tallest, it was the giraffes who first saw the strange procession coming up the
road. They could not tell the others, of course, but they cantered over to the fence in such an excited way that the zebras came galloping and the ostriches strode after them.
“Well, I never!” said a zebra.
“Did you ever!” said an ostrich.
“Open the gate!” said the Earl to his rangers.
“Good morning, everyone,” said Hezekiah. “I'm giving my friend a ride. He seems to be enjoying it,” and he ambled out into the pasture.
The Earl of Basin sat swaying happily on the camel's back.
“Out of the way, you all!” he shouted to the zebras and ostriches and giraffes, and to Hezekiah, “Now trot!” He took off his cowboy hat and with it gently slapped the camel's flanks. “Giddyap!” he shouted and Hezekiah broke into a clumsy trot and then the trot became a kind of canter and the canter a sort of gallop.
“Yippee!” yelled Lord Basin as he disappeared
into the distance on the back of his big, brown, bouncing Bactrian camel.
“Well, I never!” said one ranger.
“Did you ever!” said the other.
Later, when Lord Basin had had a shower and changed his clothes, he sat down to his favorite breakfast, a boiled egg. That may not sound like much, but it was an
ostrich
egg.
The hen ostriches made no nests but just dropped their eggs on the grass, dozens of them, and the rangers had orders to take one to the Earl's chef every now and again. The chef would boil the egg for a long time and then, using a
small saucepan as an eggcup, set it before Lord Basin, who would eat it with great enjoyment and a tablespoon.
His breakfast finished, the Earl went to his office. “John,” he said to his manager, “I've been thinking.”
“Oh, yes, sir?”
“About my camel Hezekiah. I've just had a ride on him.”
“Really, sir?”
“Yes,” said the Earl. He rubbed his sore bottom absently. Next time, he thought, let's just walk. “I've suddenly realized,” he said, “that though he's settled in well at Shortseat and he's healthy and seems quite happy, there is one thing that's missing in his life, and that's a mate. A female Bactrian camel is going to be very hard to find but I want to try, John. I want you to contact every zoo in this country, every zoo in Europe, every zoo in the world indeed, and find out if any of them has a suitable mate for my Hezekiah, and if so, how much they want for her.”
“Very well, sir,” replied the manager.
Visitors to Shortseat that day found the Earl of Basin a bit distracted. To be sure, he moved among them as usual, courteously answering any questions that they put to him (for politeness costs nothing), dressed in claret-colored corduroy
trousers, a mauve shirt with a saffron cravat, and a sequined suede jacket. But they did notice that at intervals he rubbed his backside and the more observant among them felt that the nobleman had something on his mind. He did. As soon as he could, he returned to his office.
“Any luck, John?” he asked his manager.
“Afraid not, sir.”
“No one's got a Bactrian camel?”
“Haven't found one yet.”
“Keep trying. Though if we do find a female and if they're willing to sell, they'll ask a huge amount of money. Maybe I can barter for her, but I haven't any more white tigers to spare.” Then Lord Basin had a brainstorm.
There was a lake at Shortseat, and on the lake was an island, and on the island lived a little family of gorillas—a silverback male, his mate, and their son.
“Tell you what, John,” said the Earl. “We need to find a home for our young gorilla.”
The phone rang.
“For you, sir,” said the manager.
“Hello?” said the Earl.
“We are told that you are looking for a female Bactrian camel, and we have one here,” said the speaker (and he mentioned the name of a famous American zoo). “It occurred to us that you might be interested in an idea that we've had.”
“I might,” said the Earl.
“No doubt you have the occasional spare creature at
Shortseat, and perhaps there's one that might interest us.”
“An exchange, d'you mean?”
“Yes, sir.”
“All right,” said Lord Basin. “How would you like a few lions?”
“No, thanks.”
“Oh. Can you hold on a minute?”
“Sure.”
The Earl winked at his manager and held up one hand, fingers crossed.
“I've just had a brainstorm,” he said to the caller. “How would you like a gorilla?”
“A gorilla!”
“Yes, a young male.”
“In exchange for our young female Bactrian camel?”
“Yes. Straight swap. What do you say?”
And the answer was, “Done!”

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