Half Black Soul (9 page)

Yes, I did. But, what exactly was I supposed to tell him? I trusted Daniel, but I'd never reached deep enough into his head to confirm that trust, and the secrets I was keeping from him were too big not to do that. He didn't even know that I wasn't entirely Searcher. Maybe I could try a different route, though. How long have you lived here, at Two Rivers? I asked.

He looked a little surprised at the question, but answered anyway. All my life. I was born here, he replied.

Do you like it here?

He ran a hand through his brown hair and considered the question. Yeah, I mean, I don't have anything to compare it to, but it's a nice place. I don't really like the fact that just because of my race I have to train and fight all the time, and &.

And, what? I asked, when it became clear he wasn't going to continue.

He shook his head and gave one of his sweet smiles. And, sometimes, I don't know, I'm happy but, sometimes I feel &.

I placed my hand over his. Afraid? I provided.

His smile had faded, and his brows drew together slightly. He nodded. Yeah, I guess. Only I'm not sure what exactly I'm afraid of. He shrugged, and a weak smile found his lips again. It's probably just because I know I'll be fighting in the arena after I finish school.

Probably, I agreed. Or probably not.

Are you afraid of something? he asked, catching me off guard.

I smirked. I'm afraid of my own shadow, I joked. I looked down at my hands. It's just hard not having Alexa with me.

He returned my smirk. Can't blame you for that. Hell, I feel safe when she's around. That girl's a beast.

I shot him a look, and he held up both hands and laughed at my expression. I mean that in a good way. He reached up and gently brushed my hair back. It's understandable that you feel a little scared without her. She's been with you your entire life. She's protected you. I've never seen anything like it, really. It's like she's always waiting for something to attack you so that she can rip it to pieces.

I laughed, because it was true, but my voice cracked when I spoke. Then, why did she leave me?

Daniel pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. I don't know, he sighed, But, she must have had a good reason. And, she left Two Rivers, not you.

Hmm, there was something important about that statement.

Alexa

You want me to do what? I said.

Olivia grinned again, and I decided it was starting to annoy me. How the hell was any of this amusing? It's not what I want you to do, Alexa, she continued, It's what you were made for. But, the choice is yours nonetheless.

Lead a revolution. Sure, while I was at it I might as well build a spaceship and teach anger management classes. I hadn't even turned eighteen yet. Of course, I voiced my thoughts. Lead a revolution? I'm not even a legal adult yet, I replied. I didn't add that I was also currently afraid that I was losing my damn mind.

Olivia waved a hand again in dismissal. Most of those who fight for their people are barely adults. And, don't you have a birthday coming up in a few days anyway?

I scowled. How deeply had this woman Searched me? I had forgotten about my stupid eighteenth birthday, but she knew about it. I felt anger begin to slowly rise in me. I felt like a pawn for some reason; like I was just a piece in some game that was being pushed here and there by a hand that made all my decisions for me. Olivia said I had a choice, but that seemed like bullshit to me. I was starting to believe that I'd never had a choice in any of this.

You'd think that it would stop surprising me that Kayden knew what I was feeling, but it always did. He was about a foot away from me on the couch, and he reached his hand across and took hold of my own. For a split second I felt like yanking my hand away. I wanted to be angry right now. I had a goddamn right to be. But, his touch did what it was supposed to, and I felt the anger leak out of me. It left me feeling a little exhausted, though.

Okay, fine, lead a revolution. Maybe this was supposed to be some kind of messed up redemption for my past transgressions. It shouldn't be that much of a shock anyway. I'd already vowed to help Soraya and others like her, right? And, to do that I knew I'd have to kill the King. I guess it just hadn't really occurred to me that in order to do that, I'd literally have to get through an entire army. The King's army. Just thinking of his warriors made the hair on the back of my neck stand up; they were freakishly huge and intimidating. I guess what Olivia said made sense, then. I would need an army of my own to even stand a chance at getting to the King. And, since my army would have to be composed of those who were being suppressed by the King, I guess revolution was exactly the right word for it.

Fine, I said, How do I go about leading this revolution ?

Don't worry about that, Olivia replied, Things will happen on their own. I believe you have a separate mission that takes precedence for you at the moment.

Good, no wasted words necessary, then. Where is Dangeon? I asked.

Ah, one question I don't have the answer to. She studied her hands for a moment, removing her sharp eyes from me for the first time in what seemed like forever. But, I know of someone who might be able to answer that for you.

Gran, I have to use the potty! Akira said, hopping off my lap and squeezing her legs together in a funny and adorable way.

Olivia smiled at the girl. Well, by all means, go, child. You're a big girl. You don't have to announce it every time.

Akira toddled off down the hall, I watched her until she disappeared into the bathroom, then I turned back to her grandmother. Why didn't you just tell me all of this the first time I came here? Why even make me go to Two Rivers?

She raised one gray eyebrow. You learned a lot that night as it was. You're whole world had just been flipped over. Also, you had to see it for yourself. By the way you just took the idea of a revolution, I would wager that you were resolved to help your people before you even walked through my door.

I scowled again, because I couldn't help it. But, I knew she was right. She knew it too. I opened my mouth to say something else, but a loud crash! cut the thought short. It sounded like a window being smashed in, and it was so sudden and unexpected that both Kayden and I hopped out of our seats on the couch as if the cushions had turned red hot.

Olivia stumbled out of her own chair and fell promptly to the carpet. Kayden rushed over to help her, and unintelligible, rapid words came tumbling out of her mouth. Kayden was telling her to slow down and gently pulling her to her feet. I was already racing down the hall to the bathroom. I didn't need clarification. Akira hadn't returned from the potty .

My heart stopped cold in my chest when I reached the entry to the small yellow and white bathroom, and I skidded to a stop. The window in this room had indeed been smashed in, and shards of glass lay strewn across the white tile floor. I'm not sure, but I think a horrified whisper ripped up my throat. Akira. I raced over to the window, grabbed the sharp sill, pointed glass digging deep into my palms, and leaned out.

The heavy rain bombarded my face, but that's not why chills ran through me. Panic, hot and untamed seized me. My tongue dried up in my mouth, and my chest began to ache. The Lamia that had promised me death stood twenty feet away in the back yard of Olivia's house, Akira's tiny body slung over her shoulder. The little girl cried out, and my heart broke into as many pieces as the bathroom window when I realized she was screaming my name.

The Lamia smiled, lips pulling back grotesquely to reveal the multiple rows of razor sharp teeth in her mouth. Come out and play, little Warrior, she hissed, and taking Akira with her, she dashed off in the opposite direction from me.

I launched myself out of the window at the same time Kayden entered the bathroom. I hit the ground hard, but landed on my feet. Kayden called out to me, but I wouldn't have been able to reply if I had to. I just put my head down and raced after them. The rain continued to fall.

Nelly

Daniel stayed with me a little longer, but not for too long. Students of the opposite sex were allowed to visit each other's dorm rooms as long as they were out by curfew. These rules weren't heavily enforced as far as I knew, but nobody wanted the old dorm matron to come and kick them out, so I think most of the students obeyed.

He kissed me lightly on the forehead before he left. Don't worry, Nell, he said, and the nickname my sister gave me made my heart feel tight in my chest again. Alexa needs you too. You're her strength just as much as she's yours. She'll be back, he added. And then he left.

Those words comforted me as I brushed my teeth and hopped into bed. That's part of the reason I liked Daniel so much; he always seemed to know the right thing to say. I went to sleep feeling better than I had all day, and even though it was just marginally, it was enough to allow sleep to pull me under. I wished it hadn t, though.

I don't dream very often, or at least I don't remember my dreams very often. The dream I fell into that night would haunt me for a very long time.

The world in my dream was a dull gray. I was standing over it, on some elevated surface, looking down. At first, nothing much was distinguishable, and I strained my eyes to clear the fog and get a better view of the land I was surveying. But, I wasn't just standing over land, I was standing over what seemed like thousands of people.

Well, not people, but Searchers, Brockens, Wolf-borns, and upon closer examination, I could see that Lamias were there as well. They were all staring up at me. Most of them were bloodied, and injured in some way. They wore rags and robes and dresses and suits. And, they all had the same expression on their faces. It was a mixture of relief and sadness. But, their faces weren't what I was paying attention to.

Each one of their souls was tangibly visible to me; rainbows of colors shining around them. I should have known then that this was a dream, because I've never seen anything like it in real life. So many souls, and I knew all of them; all the way to the core. Not personally, but in the way that can only be known when a deep Search was being performed. I could feel every one of the thousands of souls standing below me; like I could reach out my hand and grab them. It was almost like they belonged to me, rather than just the people who stood below me.

I stood there for what seemed like a long time, captivated by the sight and feel of all the souls beneath me. But, I couldn't ignore the emotions they all carried with them. There was an overwhelming sense of relief, but also so much hurt, and pain, and loss. I felt warm tears trickle down my cheeks, and it took a moment to realize that the emotions weren't coming from just the souls. They were coming from me too.

When I recognized this, the most awful, potent feeling I've ever known settled over me, and my eyes were pulled from the sight below me, and fell on the worst nightmare at my feet.

You would think that because this was a dream, only the worst of it would hit me, and then mercifully allow me to wake. But, this dream pulled no punches. It worked its way up from my feet, slamming me in the gut and stabbing me through the heart before it let me go. And, even then, I found no comfort.

Denial hit me first. My mind wouldn't accept what my eyes were seeing. My heart refused to accept it. Then, horror, guilt, and anger. Finally, ugly truth found its way into me.

Alexa lay dead at my side.

A gut-wrenching scream ripped up my throat, and the souls below me followed suit; crying out in unison, as if they all shared and felt and knew my pain. I stared down at my sister, beautiful even in death. Her big brown eyes stood open, staring at nothing, and the relaxed expression on her usually serious face gave the impression of someone else altogether. It pained me so to see it, but it was the first time I'd ever seen her look so entirely &. peaceful. The silver on her arm was the only color in this world; standing out like a star in an undiluted night sky. The still warm fingers of her right hand were wrapped tightly around the handle of her Gladius, which was dripping blood; gray blood. When the wind whispered, in a voice I knew to belong only to my sister, It's okay, Nell. Everything is how it should be, I knew exactly what had happened here.

Alexa had somehow given her life. To save me.

I woke up fighting for air; the dream-induced emotions still possessing me with full force. And the tears that trickled down my flushed cheeks were very much real.

Alexa

Oh God oh God oh no all my fault all my fault Oh God

I smashed through backyards, leapt over fences and destroyed flower gardens in my passing. The sun had completed its descent, and the illusion of night that the cloud covered day had presented was made a mockery. The real night was darker than any day could have managed.

My palms were stinging and tingling a little from where I'd cut them on the bathroom window. Sweat was pushing its way through my pores, only to be met with thin bullets of rain that hammered down from the troubled heavens. My heart felt worthless and shriveled and lodged in my throat. My mind seemed to be on a looping track.